Swinger and Proud of it .... where is my parade ????

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  No need to test the waters on this one for us, we already know that our family would not understand and it would not be received well so we keep it our little secret.On the one hand it would be nice to be able to be so open about it and there are times when it could almost pop out but most of the couples we know don't make it public knowledge so it really isn't THAT uncomfortable. And on the other hand having it as our own 'dirty little secret' kind of makes it all the more HOT Mrs GC

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Firstly, power to you both for being open enough with your lifestyle choices to tell family, friends and work colleges. We are not swingers maybe one day, however we do have an open relationship. We have decided not to share our life style choices with our families, work colleges or most friends. In my opinion, they just don't need to know every detail of our sex lives.I have told a few very close friends, and have had mixed reactions... so for us, we don't need to tell our wider circle of friends... Luck with the outing ;)

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  My gut feeling is that it would be a mistake to share that sort of thing with too many people, particularly those such as your HR department. We keep plenty of things secret - political affiliation, religious views, police records, etc. When you provide a piece of information like the fact that you're swingers, you put yourself in a situation where you have nothing to gain and everything to lose by those people knowing that. They can use it against you and even if they never do, they'll also never use it in your favour.I think openness is good, but I'd be careful if I was you. It's not just who you tell that you have to worry about - it's who they tell that are really likely to cause problems. Good luck!

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Socially and friends yes. Family, besides the parents, actually know as well. Funnily enough, even when we told our friends most of them were surprised we were not swinging earlier.And mixing worlds for us really isn't an issue. I am not friends with them because they swing or not, I'm friends cause your decent people. We don't how ever make a habit of running around and telling absolutely everyone. Its not the we are secretive or anything like that. Its just that we understand not everyone needs or wants to know about this aspect of our lives. Some would actually be offended that we were telling them and get embarrassed. So whilst quite happy with this part of our lives, we appreciate that sometimes discretion is more the sake of others than ourselves.And work? Quite a few at work know. Hell, I work in the oil & gas drilling industry so most of the blokes can't believe how lucky I am. ;)Mr oh_wowsers

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  We pick and choose who we mention it to. We don't hide it or lie about it if asked directly, but basically it's no one elses business but ours and the people we play with. It's been a bit obvious at work functions though, as Mrs O tends to get a bit amorous if encouraged by other females when she has had a few drinks....lol

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I'm not a swinger, and would never have thought to come out about it... I used to be quite involved in the BDSM scene though and many years ago had my face in an issue of Cosmo, which was fine with the job I was at... but then I changed jobs, and 6 months later a colleague brought in a stack of old cosmo's to read on nightshift... I was away at the time... so she, and the other 20 guys I worked with, all of a sudden knew I was a kinky girl. I decided not to hide it, but I never feel the need to come out at work and be explicit. Once I was watching an episode of CSI with my Mum and my Nan, one of the episodes where Grisham was flirting with the Mistress... anyway, cue dungeon scene and my mum says to my nan (yelling because my nan is a bit deaf) "Julie's into all the leather stuff". Umm, thanks Mum, I don't think Nan needed to know that. My friends know what I get up to because I have amusing stories. :)

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  It is great that you are out and fantastic that it has been well received. I am certain alot of people suspect us and a few do know. I do not think I would care if someone found out but I would not tell. A girl on msn the other day asked me if I was out (openly bi). My profile says experimental, not bi but I told her that I was not out because what bi stuff I do is purely sexual and kept for the bedroom so why tell? What I do in the bedroom is the business of me, Andy and the people I do it with so I guess I feel the same about swinging...Does my dad really want to know what kind of sex i have :P I doubt it, lol. Mum, haha now that is a different story! She would probably think it's great...dirty perve that she is :PxxSalina

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  OMG we are OUT THERE>>lol family friends,kids, work mates in our real job!! and everyone knows we are into the lifestyle. Just because you go to a club and visit parties, doesnt mean you are swingers....we have proven that over the years, that is why most people are happy to say they are members of Couples International. We have christian friends that attitude is " it is wrong for them, but works for us" so they dont judge. Johns family knows that we are a 3some...all his friends and the rest.....how cool is that!!!! We are accepted for what we are and not what we do! Bryan and Leesa and John. Couples International

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'Snowshoe' My gut feeling is that it would be a mistake to share that sort of thing with too many people, particularly those such as your HR department. We keep plenty of things secret - political affiliation, religious views, police records, etc. When you provide a piece of information like the fact that you're swingers, you put yourself in a situation where you have nothing to gain and everything to lose by those people knowing that. They can use it against you and even if they never do, they'll also never use it in your favour.I think openness is good, but I'd be careful if I was you. It's not just who you tell that you have to worry about - it's who they tell that are really likely to cause problems. Good luck! But why should I be worried that people know.....????? What bad thing is going to happen because they know that my husband and I go to parties were we have sex with other couples????? We don't go round telling every man and their dog that we are swingers but I don't see any point in lying. Knowing my family there would have more problems if we lied to them. Couplesint you are so right the hardcore Christians that I've told have been like "as long as you are not lying to each other and you are practising safer sex then if it works for you so be ... its not for me but who I am to judge".

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Maybe we should ask people who they tell they are cheating on their wives or husbands. Will that make them different people to who they are known to be. I dont understand why anyone would care what others are doing in their lives, as long as they are hurting no one, what is the problem. What we all do in our lives is of no relevance to anyone but US. and those that judge us for what we do are way too involved in living vicariously by others and not looking at themselves. If us being swingers makes us "bad people" then so be it. It is 2010 not 1970....we are free to live our lives as we choose as we are adults. Those that dont agree or discriminate against people for being open and honest in their relationships and for enjoying each other and others sexually need to look at themselves before judging others. If everyone could just have one night at a swingers club i am sure there would be less divorce rate and heaps of happily married couples exploring themselves as couples. Swinging is all different forms, a lot of couples dont even swap....a lot of couples simply come to the club to share experiences with eachother and see things and then go home and fuck like they never fucked before from what they have seen. We have a saying here: We built this to enhance couples...if the most you get out of our club is a hot horny romp at home with your hubby after attending our club, then we have achieved what we have worked so hard to do. Bills, kids, money problems, work problems, you come here as a couple, watch what goes on together, smile, laugh, have naughty thoughts. Then go home...sometimes you dont even make it home, you have to pull over like hot horny youths and fuck on the side of the road. When you wake up in the morning, you look at each other and say "where the hell were we last night, and have a giggle." all of a sudden all the worries of the world disappear even if for a short time and you are communicating and laughing as a couple.. THAT IS ALL WE HOPE ....AND MOST COUPLES DO THAT. So if that is wrong then i say...." sad to those that think it is " / Having said all that , we do acknoweldge that some people dont tell and that is their perogative and we admire that We see hundreds of people daily that attend our club whenever we go out in the city, you will never see or hear us say to anyone " hi great to see you at the club the other night", we all just give a nod and keep on walking. It is the fight club for swingers...lol

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  What Couplesint said....we couldn't agree more.......get to know each other on a whole new level people and stop worrying about what might or might not happen......take the journey to the "swingers club"...it really won't hurt.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  National Swingers day!, maybe we should have a swingers parade down Queen street, with floats...lol That might get them thinking, we could all wear masks..lol

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  hmmm - i kind of enjoy leading my double life! one side of me is an openly bi, sexually charged player in the kink scene... and the other half of me runs a successful business, writes recipes and even does the odd embroidery. hey, i even have two facebook profiles! although my closest workmates know that i'm bi and that i lead a comparatively unusual life (well, edge play does sometimes leave scars, and we often spend 18 hours a day together on the road), i enjoy keeping the two somewhat apart. one should always have a little mystery about one's private life with the workmates, even if your vice is nothing more than collecting teapots or having twenty cats. and above all, i would never want my kinks to absolutely define me - i am many things, quite apart from my sexual proclivities. be a swinger to everyone you know, and that will be all that you are to them.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Don't you love the iPhone and RHP?! I'm horny as f@*k, 12:53, and am hoping to have a date in place by the time I'm done! Wanting to reply to this, but will on the pc...otherwise it's just too hard to read. And I'm normally hard to read at the best of times!! :P. ...love the parade idea though!! That'd be awesome.... Our own mini mardi gras type thing..WOOHoO, I'm in! I'll have the tank girl theme, riding a tank of course!!

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Sexies we love that you guys are out there with it , loud and proud. We are proud but not loud ! We love our swinging selves but this to us is a complete fantasy world , we work very hard in another world altogether, very conservative, people orientated, and a little stayed. We are by no means complaining our lives are not boring at all we love being who we are. BUT We have this wonderlust world of swinging , ours thrown in with our kink. Ok kinks ....plural ! It is a complete fantasy world we can be completely different people , have different roles , have different relationship. Like Valkyrie we have different email , web addy's, and again two different facebook profiles. We have people get upset because we dont want to tell them what work we do , where we work etc etc etc ...... Thanks we love you here , truly we do , like the wardrobe we pop in daily being Brae and miss sarah in our swinging world , then later return to our other world later , back out of the wardrobe again. We are not ashamed at all. We think we are pretty sexi fukas and looove having the two worlds ....worlds apart. It is in fact the mystery that attracts us to it. Brae

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I worked with a guy who was pretty open about his lifestyle, and the crazy hijinks hi and his wife got up to.One conference I even managed to get fronted by his wife for a bit of hanky panky, which I had to regretfully decline, but in all I thought it quite a compliment. Unfortunately some of the more conservative staff decided to get all precious and decided that anything this guy thus said to them was some kind of coded innuendo and it all ended up a bunfight - a bunfight resulting in him exiting the organisation.Sad, but some days I am reminded about why being naughty is best left off the radar.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Like Valkyrie and Brae said, this aspect of my life is only shared with others that are also involved in these 'activities'.I wouldn't care what work people thought, but as I do lots of coaching I wouldn't want that to be impacted upon by people who would think it made me an undesirable influence. Being a positive role model for the juniors I deal with is something I pride myself on, and a huge part of that is being seen by the parents as a positive role model. When considered logically, it makes no difference - but logic/common sense and parent's appraisal of what constitutes an actual risk to their child are things that rarely cross paths.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'sydneyboy3au'Like Valkyrie and Brae said, this aspect of my life is only shared with others that are also involved in these 'activities'.I wouldn't care what work people thought, but as I do lots of coaching I wouldn't want that to be impacted upon by people who would think it made me an undesirable influence. Being a positive role model for the juniors I deal with is something I pride myself on, and a huge part of that is being seen by the parents as a positive role model. When considered logically, it makes no difference - but logic/common sense and parent's appraisal of what constitutes an actual risk to their child are things that rarely cross paths.Oh and I will reply ...... ! You know what I mean !

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Parade National Swingers day!, maybe we should have a swingers parade down Queen street, with floats...lol That might get them thinking, we could all wear masks..lol We could have a fruit bowl and keys as a float.... A massive bed as another ....

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  Mr_MrsJones

  15 years ago

  We are not 'out' but we are not 'closeted'. Many of our friends either know outright or know enough to know that they don't want to know anything else. Our families don't know and it is staying that way TYVM. We don't like to hide something that gives us so much fun and is really part of us but the reality is that some muggles just don't get it. I am constantly AMAZED by people's idea of what swinging actually is. So that I think is the problem. If you are out and someone who doesn't approve gossips about you then you are not there to defend yourself or set their misconceptions right. In the workplace this can be very dangerous if you have some issues with a collegue and they decide to shaft you in some way. Quoting 'sydneyboy3au' When considered logically, it makes no difference - but logic/common sense and parent's appraisal of what constitutes an actual risk to their child are things that rarely cross paths. We have children who attend a catholic school. While we don't have an issue with the other parents not wanting to associate with us because they disapprove of our lifestyle it is not fair for our children to be penalised in the same way. Some people find it confronting enough when they come to our house and there is a pole dancing pole in our lounge room with our children happily displaying their latest moves. So sometimes a little discretion is tncessary. Besides I find it highly amusing to sit next to the frumpy women at the P & F and wear really tight jeans or low cut tops. The thought of the contrast between 'Mother of two who helps out at tuckshop' and 'Lady who has a whole wardrobe of corsets and other fantastic clothing which she weard to get hot sex' is just too much to resist.

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