F46
Swingers Club Etiquette
November 11 2018
Comments
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RHP User
7 years ago
For starters.. silence is deemed as no response. Perhaps you should have defiantly told the host and your husband what he had done. Most clubs I have been to,oh house parties too do not tolerate that kind of behaviour. The guy did not respect the rules of consent and club rules. He prob had no balls because he waited till hubby went to the tiolet. So as a hotwife part of a couple he did not respect both of you. He could have chatted you up and gave you mutual banter. Sounds like the poor fellahs game was lame. So desperate measures=desperate actions. Unfortunately, many men and women on here do not read profiles. Your profile is very clear. Which is awesome. My thoughts are this. Do not let a bad experience ruin you and hubbies chances at finding absolute gentlemen in swingers clubs to change your night. Try the first chance again and know that if you and hubby are ever uncomfortable to non consenting behaviours to tell the host of the party or event. That type of action soon will make anyone unwelcomed. Give clubs and parties a go again. Man if in my life I never gave swing clubs and partiez a second chance my view on the world would be different. And would have to say I have met awesome people and experiences. For that I am greatful and lucky to been a part of. And if you guys are ever in Perth contact me SWINGA. There are some awesome respectful guys here in Perth that can entertain couples with respect no pressure or expectations.
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Tall74nHard9
7 years ago
might relate to the wording in your profile -"..looking for guys who want to play and might get a bit nasty" . Not excusing his behaviour in any way, nor do I agree with it, but could perhaps have been an unfortunate interpretation.Not withstanding that might have been cancelled out by what was conversed beforehand, but just sayin'...room for confusion ?? Tall
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
Tall. How do you seem to manage to try and shift blame? Seen you do it often enough. Victim blaming Are you a defence lawyer by some chance?
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RHP User
7 years ago
Well Written But I’m With Both Swinga And Tall! I went to a club a couple of weeks ago and a guy lunged to kiss a girl. It was very swift, and she was unperturbed, however, thinking back I wasn’t too happy it happened, as the guy did seem a bit seedy and unsure of himself. Clubs that I’ve been to, are safe places for females, and it’s all about the ladies. Still, signals do get crossed and at a club, you’re in the right place, better there than a pub. For him too, he can be calmed with a firm but friendly “cool down tiger!” And given room to learn, Rather than being labeled a sex pest, by “Muggles” not understanding his urge! M_D4
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
How can you agree with both Swinger and Tall Being at a swingers party is not an excuse for any poor behaviour. Is it no wonder that single men are generally unwelcome there. And other single men excusing them. Ffs
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
Meaning that Swingers post was at the opposite end of the spectrum to Tall
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RHP User
7 years ago
Hey, I get that there is always room for confusion. But at no point did we confirm that there would be sex. I stated in the few brief messages that we can meet, if he comes to the club, and see if there's an attraction, and go from there. I realised immediately (as would anyone with eyes and a brain) that there was clearly no chemistry. No where in my profile does it say that you may take me with or without my consent. I'm not playing a victim, I am not that sensitive, I just thought I'd share my experience of the first douchebag I've encountered since being in this scene.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Guess I’m Giving The Benefit Of The Doubt Annie.. Swinga’s comments are bang on target. However I checked what Tall said about getting “Nasty” Hence, I figured the guy jumped the gun, putting it nicely. We know if the person says stop, it’s stop right? Well some don’t. So it’s not a great idea to talk about getting Nasty in a profile that’s less than 100 words long! Her post was very well written, so I figure she can write a decent profile, so initially you can attract reasonable people, in the very beginning, not a nutcase! Shoot me down! M_D4
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DynamicCouple36
7 years ago
Its unacceptable Unfortunately There are guys out there ( predators) that think such behaviour is acceptable. It is certainly not acceptable behaviour nor is it swingers etiquette. These guys are not swingers. They are predatory opportunists, who attend swingers events / clubs because they are of the opinion that their chances of getting a “fuck” are much greater at such venues. And therein lies the problem. If they had a wife / girlfriend , would they take her to a swingers club and would they be prepared to allow her to have sex with others? We very much doubt that they would. And having paid, to get into a swingers club, they feel somewhat entitled to get some “action” for the money that they have paid. Even if that means a quick grope & feel , when your partner leaves the room. Sadly it is all too common at some clubs, on the nights that single males are let in. We have had similar experiences, to you OP, and now are very vigilant if and when we go to a club. When I (Mrs) used to leave the bar area, to go to the loo, several single guys who were hanging around the lounge / bar area, would get up and follow me. Despite the fact that I was very clearly sitting with my husband . They would wait for me to come out of the loo and then try to proposition me or even grope me. On every occasion I have not only let my husband know, but we have also then both reported them to the club, who has then removed them from the venue. We now go to the loo together, and almost every time have someone following us. On another occasion we met up with a couple and whilst at the bar, he asked me where the loos were. I offered to go and show him and got groped / pulled into, in the process. And this was a couple that we knew fairly well as we had enjoyed dinner & drinks with them a couple of weeks earlier. Often, if we decide to leave the bar area, and venture into our lockable “mirror room” (just the two of us ) several others ( always males), who clearly have been watching us covertly will get up and follow us. Clearly they are hoping to be invited to join in the fun. But for us it does not work like that. We prefer to first have a good chat . To engage verbally with the other person. It’s our way of “checking them out “ and ensuring that they understand our rules / boundaries and the general etiquette. Perhaps some guys just don’t think with their larger brain, preferring to let their little brain do the talking . There is however no excuse for this disrespectful and predatory behaviour. It shows not only disrespect for the woman on the receiving end, but also disrespect for our marriage / relationship . Despite all of this we still go to the club occasionally. As it’s an opportunity to dress up and flirt with one another in an environment where we can also touch one another. We have accepted that there will be predators around, and that we will need to be vigilant, which really is a pity . One should not have yo be looking over ones shoulder all the time.
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RHP User
7 years ago
To be honest....it’s sexual assault. Not cool in any situation not just at a swingers club or similar situation.
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HotNightsGC
7 years ago
There’s nothing about that mans behaviour that was ok or acceptable. In any of the clubs we’ve been to, he would have been asked to leave immediately. Women are supposed to be respected at all times. Please, always speak up immediately when this kind of thing happens as it’s the opposite to the kind of environment that hosts want for their patrons. There’s so many fun and respectful people out there who attend clubs. We hope your next experience is much better.
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
Quoting 'Mon_Doctuer4' Guess I’m Giving The Benefit Of The Doubt Annie.. Swinga’s comments are bang on target. However I checked what Tall said about getting “Nasty” Hence, I figured the guy jumped the gun, putting it nicely. We know if the person says stop, it’s stop right? Well some don’t. So it’s not a great idea to talk about getting Nasty in a profile that’s less than 100 words long! Her post was very well written, so I figure she can write a decent profile, so initially you can attract reasonable people, in the very beginning, not a nutcase! Shoot me down! M_D4 So does words in a profile mean you can exclude human respect?So does that mean if she gets beaten up in the street one night it's ok because her profile says shes up for a bit of rough time?So if a woman mentions a fantasy of a rape role play she should be okay if she gets raped on her way home? Our profiles can say a little, or a lot. But they should never be taken in a literal way that precludes the need for permission. The OP stated that the pig waited for her husband to be absent. Enough said right there. There is no room for "settle down tiger" approach.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Settle Down Annie!! Nuff said! M_D4
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Tall74nHard9
7 years ago
I did clearly make mention in my respsonse that I did NOT presume to know what was said between parties - so therefore was only a general reply in the form of what little I could interpret in your posting, as well as checking out your profile. It appears that it was an opportunistic attack on his part, and as noted I do not agree with his actions. Tall
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Tall74nHard9
7 years ago
As always you don't disappoint - only reading with half your wit and interpreting things with your rose coloured glasses on.Nowhere did I try to victim blame - I merely noted that without knowing what was said, there may have been an opportunity for confusion on his part about what was going to happen. Also as fully noted I did NOT condone his actions. Perhaps time to get your prescriptions checked again. Tall
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boobsandbusted
7 years ago
not acceptable but like to think it’s not the norm ,but only just the other night we went to a club at the last minute and we’re haveing a shower ,mrs b on one side and i on the other when a single guy turned up and locked eyes into her,as he advanced she said no thanks and he continued to close in on her in the corner. openening up his towel to prevent her escape that was until she calmly said and pointed i said my husbands just there behind you ,by god he left the area quickly ,but i did manage to catch up with him later and have a word ,hope he is still looking over his shoulder ,also did let management know which they were more than concerned and active ,and wanted to address him straight away ,it made me laugh at the time seeing how quick he fled at the time ,but then thought if i hadn’t of been jonny in the spot the prick could have done some real damage or found a lady without her partner there to look after her , hope he thinks about his actions and our chat or i will pop up when he is least expecting it ,and give him something to think about mr b
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
I see a domino effect in this scenario. A moment if vulnerabilities were there, he took it and you allowed it by not saying anything right then and there. Now for the consequences: it's too late, by not saying anything, he will most likely think its ok (and got away with it) and will do to the next person and so forth. Ms Foxy
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boobsandbusted
7 years ago
correct foxy ,and that’s why i went and found him and told we told management too make sure he new it wasn’t ok and there are consequences for for i’ll behaviour mr b
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AnnieWhichway
7 years ago
Glasses easily changed. Attitudes it seems, are much more difficult it seems
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RHP User
7 years ago
And while I agree with it, I am well aware of the shock factor that keeps your mouth sealed when a man touches you while you're bent over (that was my experience, not in a swinging scene) until you're alone in the car on the way home afterwards. Thankfully hubby believed me over everyone else. Men and women (young and adult) alike need to be encouraged to speak out when anyone touches them inappropriately. To value our selves... And people need to listen when they're told. Peachy
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RHP User
7 years ago
I accidentally set it for 3 which I need to do when I use the 'Times New Roman' font because it's really small for some reason. Peachy
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RHP User
7 years ago
Wow that sounds really shit. Im sorry to hear. :/ I would never do that. If you see me at Chateau Vino in future please introduce yourselves and i will show you how a man can be respectful to all parties...
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RHP User
7 years ago
Im thinking you probably did the right thing in not mentioning it at the time to hubby........It could have gotten ugly.Maybe a quiet word with management, and getting a third party involved to talk to him / remove him.Either way its now flagged, and he may not be allowed back etc. It needs to be stopped and the establishment need to know to do this.If he does this to you, he's doing it to others. Its a tough call hey..........mention it to hubby afterwards, and you probably the get the " why didn't you tell me routine" Its what i call the no win situation
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