Talking about exploring swinging - new and interested in people's stories

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  I think communication is the key. Allowing your self to have fun is also another. I have been with a couple in an ongoing relationship and I have also played at swingers nights. I really think that moving at your own pace as you are ready is important. Don't feel pushed or pressured. There are a lot of lovely people at swingers and events that I am sure you can get to know over time. Trust is something that grows. I hope you have an amazing time exploring your sexuality. All you can do is show up :)

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  My husband and I have been together 10yrs and are in the same boat as u guys although hubby is now unsure if its for him and we havnt even made it past discussions. I'm to trying to source ppls experiences in the hope to further ours. Wishing u guys lots of fun and happiness!

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  it sounds like you are both taking this journey at your own pace which is great. i dare say that the majority of us could have done with mentors for the first 6 months and that may be a good step for you guys - a lovely couple who are happy to help you on your journey with no strings attached - they do exist. It looks like your profile was set up as a group which will confuse people and the lovely rhp admins will help fix that up laters x

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  CandDSwing

  11 years ago

  Hey thanks everyone for replying so quickly! I couldn't agree more that communication is key, life is for living once! Best make it a good one. Thanks for the heads up about our profile, was trying to figure out what I did wrong last night OOPS. I've sent a support request so hopefully it all gets sorted soon.

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  CandDSwing

  11 years ago

  Hey exploring life, WOW 10 years, firstly congratulations girl that is great! It can be a difficult topic to talk about first, we both found that you really need to leave any issues or pre conceptions of things at the door. Otherwise the conversation starts off a bit negative. I found it best when we spoke about things really casually in an open manner, we've spoken about this during coffee out even in cafe's! :) Today even during our exercise we were talking about erotic massages, being touched by other people, what we like / dislike - how we believe it will feel to watch another person touch the person you love. All those things. We first went to 2 swingers clubs and just talked to other couples, played pool and generally enjoyed the sexy surrounds. That is a good first step, there is no need to go further on those visits, go for dinner first, catch up have a few drinks and really spend time with each other first. We are next on our journey, how / what / when is next! I'm hoping I can hear from other couples similar ages with similar experiences - it can be a bit daunting at first with ppl who have been in the lifestyle for many years Oh and something maybe you can show your partner, there was a show on american TV a bit ago called 'swinging' or something by playboy TV. Download some of that and perhaps watch together, see what he thinks / what you think and perhaps talk about what you liked / disliked? xx

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  One of the last parties, I organised, I invited a first timer couple. To my surprise, they RSVP ed to say they were coming along. I had a couple of conversations with them during the weeks ahead, with them both asking plenty of questions about what would happen on the night, I was 100 % honest with them. I told them straight. The couple were childhood sweethearts and had been together 17 years, they had never done anything this wild. I could totally understand the situation, this was such a big decision between them. I suggested that on the first party they attend, they just take things slow, watch other couples and if they like what they see, have sex.........but just with each other. This way if they didn't like what they experienced or had any regrets, they could honestly say that they did it together and neither of them had sex with anyone. Neither person gets hurt!!!! But if you enjoyed the night, go home, talk about it and come back to the next party. On the night, I informed all of the guests that we had a newby couple, this way everybody new of their situation. The newby couple took my advice and had a ball at their first party. They loved talking openly about sexual experiences with the other couples.They loved listening when the guests started talking about there own stories.They loved it when couples asked them to watch them have sex.They loved it even more when they got there gear off and had sex next to other couples. and the best thing, they only had sex with each other. But best of all, they came back to all of the next parties. This couple attended there first party/swinging experience with no pressure. It takes long as it takes....for a couple to make the move in there relationship to swap partners and its got to be a 50/50 agreement, both have got to want to do it before stepping into this fun pass time.

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  him_and_me

  11 years ago

  And so, we never really had many experiences prior to getting together ourselves. Prior to this lifestyle, I was the only one Mrs him_and_me had slept with and she mentioned from time to time that she wondered what it would be like with another. I had only had two one night stands, so I was far from experienced myself. I always talked about how exciting it would be to see her with another guy and have her experience both of us being with her in an MFM scenario. A couple of years ago, Mrs him_and_me travelled over to the States with a friend. I suggested that she try and pick up while she was there. She did and she loved it! Initially I was elated, then scared as hell as she'd now have someone to compare me to (a fireman no less). I actually ended up going to speak to a sexual therapist about a couple of things I was concerned about. It helped greatly. The outcome is that we have been exploring this site and lifestyle for about 18 months now. We've made friends, had some amazing sex (not a lot..but we consider this a race either). What are we are looking for now? I think we both have different appetites for this. Mrs him_and_me's is more constant, while I keep going from thinking it is the best thing in the world to thinking that it isn't for me. Largely, we've had loads of fun and are looking to continue. So far we've only played separately (either separate rooms or more in an open relationship type style). I think we'll continue that, but will look to explore that MFM and a couple of other exciting scenarios too. Him and me. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  11 years ago

  Well, we've just had our first swinging anniversary. Both of us came from reasonably sheltered backgrounds, I was allowed to wear skirts but painting your face and nails was for harlots. My hubby had been curious about swinging for a while and last year in a spark of courage induced by vodka we (and I mean we) started the journey. Its been a wild ride: fun, entertaining, dirty, met some fabulous people, oh did I mention fun? This also with some experiences, feelings and discoveries that haven't been pleasant. Our learning curve would make a great show ride for thrill seekers. I won't tell you its easy, I have learnt so much about my gorgeous hubby, our relationship, my head and my body. I too had some body confidence issues. Funnily enough being in the lifestyle has actually been therapeutic and I've slowly arrived at the conclusion that I'm okay and actually being sexy and attractive is more than body parts. I'm happy with what my body can do and how it can make others feel. The first time with another couple was weird. For me seeing my partner being pleasured and giving pleasure to someone else was just plain weird, I am yet to find a better word. Jealous is not the right word because I was genuinely happy for him. I don't think there's anything that can prepare you for this, you just gotta do it but know it will be confronting and you will have to talk lots afterwards. Its not confronting now. We were very lucky with the first couple we met, who were patient beyond the call of duty really. We kind of freaked out, possibly me more than my hubby. They were very open and gave us some great advice, I hope you can find some great people to talk to. There is an American website called Life on the Swing Set which has loads of articles from knowledgeable experienced 'normal' people which has been helpful to me. The forums here are also informative. I've done a lot of things that if you had of sat me down last April and told me what I would be doing in the year ahead, I probably would have turned beetroot red, started shaking and ran for the nearest exit. But I seemed to have gotten over myself and my sheltered upbringing... I wear fishnets in public, paint my face & toes, have a drawers full of saucy underwear that make me feel delicious and some interesting toys to play with.. But like I say, its a journey and I am relishing the next part... if there's a destination, I hope we don't get there anytime soon. All this and my hubby and I are better, closer and hornier than ever.. All the best :)

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  CandDSwing

  11 years ago

  Firstly, loved reading your post! You are quite a witty girl, we both laughed at your painted face and harlot comment :) Really interesting point about exploring new things with your partner and the first big swap that you spoke of - thank you for sharing your story with us. It's great to hear that you have had some ups and downs and that you have come (cum is the terminology used on RHP... HAHAH) out the other end with great moments that you have shared together. Thank you so much CD Quoting 'Fun2AfterDark' Well, we've just had our first swinging anniversary. Both of us came from reasonably sheltered backgrounds, I was allowed to wear skirts but painting your face and nails was for harlots. My hubby had been curious about swinging for a while and last year in a spark of courage induced by vodka we (and I mean we) started the journey. Its been a wild ride: fun, entertaining, dirty, met some fabulous people, oh did I mention fun? This also with some experiences, feelings and discoveries that haven't been pleasant. Our learning curve would make a great show ride for thrill seekers. I won't tell you its easy, I have learnt so much about my gorgeous hubby, our relationship, my head and my body. I too had some body confidence issues. Funnily enough being in the lifestyle has actually been therapeutic and I've slowly arrived at the conclusion that I'm okay and actually being sexy and attractive is more than body parts. I'm happy with what my body can do and how it can make others feel. The first time with another couple was weird. For me seeing my partner being pleasured and giving pleasure to someone else was just plain weird, I am yet to find a better word. Jealous is not the right word because I was genuinely happy for him. I don't think there's anything that can prepare you for this, you just gotta do it but know it will be confronting and you will have to talk lots afterwards. Its not confronting now. We were very lucky with the first couple we met, who were patient beyond the call of duty really. We kind of freaked out, possibly me more than my hubby. They were very open and gave us some great advice, I hope you can find some great people to talk to. There is an American website called Life on the Swing Set which has loads of articles from knowledgeable experienced 'normal' people which has been helpful to me. The forums here are also informative. I've done a lot of things that if you had of sat me down last April and told me what I would be doing in the year ahead, I probably would have turned beetroot red, started shaking and ran for the nearest exit. But I seemed to have gotten over myself and my sheltered upbringing... I wear fishnets in public, paint my face & toes, have a drawers full of saucy underwear that make me feel delicious and some interesting toys to play with.. But like I say, its a journey and I am relishing the next part... if there's a destination, I hope we don't get there anytime soon. All this and my hubby and I are better, closer and hornier than ever.. All the best :)

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