M55
Telling your friends...
June 03 2015
Comments
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RHP User
11 years ago
1) Several of my vanilla and not so vanilla friends know of my past and present activities on RHP and think its very cool. 2) I did invite one female friend to join and she did for a while but decided vanilla dating was more her style. Although she did enjoy herself while she was here she really wanted a long term relationship. If you have friends that are non-judgemental, openminded and have your back then bring it up in conversation over a beer or two. If they are interested tell them more and leave it to them to ask how to join. Simples! LG
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RHP User
11 years ago
1. No. Not opening a can of worms. 2. Follows from above. 3? Why show my face? I don't have a vanilla network that would even look here.
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RHP User
11 years ago
The only vanilla friend I have is a tub of ice-scream, but next opportunity I get my vanilla friend is joining in. That is if she is still around. My vanilla friends never last long... :( As for people I have invited some friends here that were border line vanilla, unfortunately the onslaught from the horny male horde was too much to bare. They left after only a few weeks and never returned. I figure if they are the type to enjoy a site like RHP they will find it on their own. I am way over apologizing for the behavior of some of the guys here, which I feel I must if I have recommended that they join.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Some of my friends and family know that I am here,but none of them would be interested to join xxFreya
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RHP User
11 years ago
Two of my closest girlfriends know I'm on here and that is more for my safety than anything else. They have had a look and aren't interested, but love hearing what's going on. I have had one friend join but she decided it really wasn't for her, it's not for everyone this site. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
...... here alone in the madding throng of the sexual market place ..... and I like that and may be conflicted if someone knew both my persona's
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RHP User
11 years ago
One of my friends joined for a while, but got fed up of all the messages from "Dick pic profiles". My friends know Im on here, they think its been good for me, they have met some of my RHP friends. I wouldnt ask anyone to join, thats up to the individual I think?
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RHP User
11 years ago
In sayng that though I've never hid the fact that I swing either. Along the same lines,. Why do porn sites have a share to Facebook or Twitter tab? I mean who watches porn thinks to themselves " I know who would enjoy this my family and friends " - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
When Mum and Dad stayed with me for a month I just told them I was chatting to people who came to my house at all times of the night and day. Bless em. :)
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TimeToPlayAus
11 years ago
Mrs time and I have been careful about who knows we're in the scene. We have a total of about four friends that know, but while they might know we've been to a party or to Saints, we don't share details about we're up to. Most friends don't need to know. The ones we have told have been because there's been some common interest there and we've been able to tell them what happens and what to look out for. Conversely, we also don't have play mates as facebook friends either. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Family and close friends know my lifestyle. Most know I'm on here, actually, most know of the stuff I do. Concerns some, tittilates others. A couple of my friends have joined, they were mainly looking for long term relationships, so, didn't last. As for inviting friends, I tell them about rhp, if they want to join, then it's up to them. Most of my girlfriends see this site as something sleazy compared to vanilla sites.
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RHP User
11 years ago
if they're male mates then wouldn't most blokes be like "awww cool as; so you get to fuck lots of women yeah??" Like a few of my mates did... Whereas ya gf's might get that cats arse face like my mum did and run away thinking you wanna fuck em.... But..... If they're really your mates in the platonic sense then they won't give two shits...and they'll make their own decisions about whether or not it interests them enough to join up. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Read this one while having my strong latte, viewing work budgets and business cases. My halo nearly fell off its perch. Hell NO.. Big elephant NO stamp. My vanilla friends and family still view me as fresh graduate from the convent, newly extracted from the sisterhood of Carmelite nuns... despite having my kids clutching at my skirt upon entry. I keep telling them they were gifts, blessings from 'divine interventions' not unlike the Virgin Mary.... As per Catholic behavior, they believe without question. Faith is a wonderful thang. My vanilla friends and family are not called vanilla for nothing... I am the abomination of my kind. I dont mind as I get a kick out of it that they don't know half the story of who I am and so I can do as I please... as long as I don't show up to mass on Sunday morning in my black catwoman rubber suit and my gimp trailing behind me on a leash. Why shatter their perfect world? What I do is my business. I am discreet, smart and sneaky. Why invite my friends here? Not a good move.. Just increases the competition. I prefer them on their knees, in the confessional pews, confessing to the dirty old priest all their made up sins. I refer to them as 'sexual fantasies'. so No to 1) and 2). Now, where is that gimp....? Can't get good help nowadays...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Do you talk to your friends about sex? If so, then ask them - if that is what you want.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Please make sure you give us notice before THAT mass....I'm not catholic, but that's gotta be worth seeing! Col
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RHP User
11 years ago
And it's no big deal. Not sure why people are so secretive about things like this. I don't go around wearing a t-shirt, but if it comes up in conversation I have no problem in saying so. Perhaps you are making an assumption of what they might think about it when in reality they probably don't give a toss.
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RHP User
11 years ago
My friends and family know but not a place I would recommend to them, just not there thing. Besides most are happy in relationships and not the cheating type. Haven't asked them if they swing though
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RHP User
11 years ago
There and their I suppose they're is a difference . Take that you sticklers for words
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RHP User
11 years ago
YA MUM !!?? ...you country boy you... Hp xo Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have told a friend they should check out RHP when they have free time, but I personally wouldn't bring it up or suggest it unless they ask. I like to keep my personal life sepperate from my friends and work because it has less complications. Me personally don't like to share who I have been with, pictures of them or any details because the maturity of the people that I seem to be surrounded by isn't that great. Sure it isn't anything serious I have with a woman that I play with but just out of respect the further I keep them away from it all the better because it allows me to enjoy the times I have more. I also wouldn't want to be held accountable for any people coming on the site that are not good for the site, to me a woman is not a piece of meat. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'sir_stir' if they're male mates then wouldn't most blokes be like "awww cool as; so you get to fuck lots of women yeah??" Like a few of my mates did... Whereas ya gf's might get that cats arse face like my mum did and run away thinking you wanna fuck em.... But..... If they're really your mates in the platonic sense then they won't give two shits...and they'll make their own decisions about whether or not it interests them enough to join up. - Posted from rhpmobile ROFPMSL
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have one friend that I discuss some of our fun on here with, she is much younger than I am, and has joined similar sites before....... But other than that......no way!! I like discretion, it adds to the naughtiness of it ...................
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BacioCouple
11 years ago
God no... we keep this very separate from our "vanilla" friends ... it's not that we're not open to them knowing, but we're not in their face about our sex life ..... Most of them would die if they knew - we are so Mr and Mrs Vanilla to them!
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RHP User
11 years ago
I had a laugh at that , then had to explain to a work colleague at my desk why I was smiling at my phone, um err wad a funny joke 😊 Ok back to that dawn excel spreadsheet to get stupid formulas to work.
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RHP User
11 years ago
...I've told some friends, workmates and even family that I'm on here.And why not? I treat this place as an adult dating site and an R-rated Facebook...and that's what I tell them, that it's whatever I want it to be. I also tell them how many others appear to use it.I have nothing to hide and I'm not pretending to be something or someone I'm not. I don't put up dick pics or any other photos I wouldn't want my mum to find and I'm happy with my profile description.No fear here...
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RHP User
11 years ago
she still thinks she's brought up a sinner lmfao - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
All my friends know I'm on here and have met some of my RHP friends. Most of them are intrigued and like me to keep them updated! I hate the term 'vanilla' by the way, it's judgemental and condescending. Everyone is different and have different needs and desires through personal preference and experience. By polarizing us you create difference! Let's just have fun, there's nothing 'wrong' with that! :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
No..my mum doesn't think I wanna fuck her lmfao I just realised how that read.....😝
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RHP User
11 years ago
ROFLMAO Glad you clarified. But still "cats arse face" just gold..
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'd love to tell my friends to get on here but I'm of the opinion to leave well enough alone and don't open any can's of worms... just me..
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RHP User
11 years ago
though some do know about it - not by choice, but from someone sending them screencaps of conversations I'd had on here - that was lovely (though ultimately they didn't really care besides a few raised eyebrows and playful/cheeky comments)
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RHP User
11 years ago
If my friends can't handle the truth they're not really my friends... Hp xo Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
11 years ago
When I joined I was separated, so all my friends are from Rhp. As I left all my vanilla friends with my gay ex. So I can't advise sorry. :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'S_OnTheLoose' though some do know about it - not by choice, but from someone sending them screencaps of conversations I'd had on here - that was lovely (though ultimately they didn't really care besides a few raised eyebrows and playful/cheeky comments)What the! Who does these things? Seriously. We had a case of someone last year sending screen shots of another person's forum comments to their boss!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Only my open minded friends (2 to be exact) know I'm a swinger. My friends and family know I'm bi, but I honestly can't be arsed explaining swinging to them so I keep this part of my life to myself, and of course my awesome RHP "family!" They are way cooler than muggles anyway....
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nattyocean
11 years ago
I'm very selective with who knows mainly based on their own ability to understand it for what it is and what they know about me as I can be very private or flipside very open depending on who it is. So my sister and her husband know and they know the name. Mainly after they suggested I should join tinder to which I replied wasn't really my thing and that I was already on another one which I felt the people are more honest and respectful - which I will preface with I'm not on tinder and am making assumptions so I apologise if I'm being unfair. my mum knows that I have met people off an internet site, and two friends but that's it. I am comfortable with separating the two and also I really enjoy people new people and am making a nice little group of people off here who I can have open and honest conversations with about this side of myself so win win really Xx NattyO - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
If I'd talk about sex with them normally then yes. But in general it's never comes up. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Baysidecouple214
11 years ago
on porn sites... who shares from there ever! lol
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tylannister
11 years ago
Was from some friends of mine that are a couple telling me about it. I've told a few of my own friends - one is just amused by my being on here, and the other, who he and his wife would actually benefit from a site like this, are in the U.S.
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RHP User
11 years ago
You can try to talk to vanilla people about play but they very rarely understand. their brains will explode and I tend to end up saying I am just joking you always get the followup question with some of them and allow them to discover it for themselves with a little direction. but you never know! good luck!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Neither of them have thanked me for pointing them towards RHP.I haven't even mentioned RHP to my FWB...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Just joined & I'm not telling anyone - I like my secrets!
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RHP User
11 years ago
of my friends are married never perfect not entirely happy but they hang in there way back when i first joined a dating site i would disclose to them, they became almost jealous and envious of my new found freedom and to them in their eyes now living a Utopian lifestyle. what I needed to explain to them the reality ..Similar to a gambler you only hear about the wins and the majority of times their wallets are shallow and empty. Some hold RHP in esteem above or beyond so called Vanilla sites.apart from a more open forum, discussion and a few more revealing pics - from my own experience i fail to see any significant difference so why should there be any stigma attached.Apart from I have joined a bicycle club, went to ballroom dancing lessons- all good people all share common interests just different.
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RHP User
11 years ago
A handful of my friends know I'm on here and they think it's awesome. They want to hear my stories all the time. Lol. However, I learnt the hard way not to mix friends with your lovers. My personal life is not be discussed with my friends anymore as I lost my love by complicating it with friends being involved. So now my two "lives" are separate. - Posted from rhpmobile
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On_Safari
11 years ago
And Aunty Vi didn't bat an eyelash.....just smirked at me andmade a few funnies. Got quizzed about why and was honest about the whole deal and shared some of my learnings and tamer experiences up until then. A few people I used to work with are here and well....they do what they do and sometimes we compare notes. Some friends I know are here because I brought them here but they didn't stick it out long enough to wade through and see the bombardment out. Some friends don't know I'm here only because I know they think the usual societal worst of swingers because it's an unknown territory. Speaking of which am having a dinner party on the Goldie with a few couples and singles to introduce some other new people to gain an open perspective and honest take on the "swing set" and their experience for these more cautious people. I wouldn't want anyone I work with in future to know my business here though and I think that's just commonsense. Swinging isn't the norm after all and well.....fraught with obstacles. As for how would I go about introducing people to a site or lifestyle like this? See the above information exchange dinner party 😄 ~ it's all a networking opportunity.
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Taby_DK
11 years ago
Yes, pretty much all our friends and family know we are swingers. About half of those know we are on RHP. I (Taby) have invited single female friends to join the site before as they have complained they are sick of the normal way of meeting guys or they want to try something different or exciting so I point them in the direction of RHP. One met her current boyfriend through the site and another enjoys the single life using it meet guys. Both have then suggested it to their other friends so yes I don't have any issues telling someone I am a member of the site unless they are a work colleague as I believe work and your swinging lifestyle should be kept separate. Taby x
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Dominique83' Just joined & I'm not telling anyone - I like my secrets! How's London today? I'm curious to find out how you stumbled onto this site, is there an English version? A few of my friends know and one has read my profile. But like S and Meeka said, some people are dicks so I'm more careful with sharing things now.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I love your username ( and the artwork)!
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RHP User
11 years ago
My friend told me of this site and I am grateful she did! But in saying that, we talk about anything. So I would say only tell those who aren't ignorant when it comes to sharing - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Some may say they certain things about you....like they like your name or stuff like that....me on the other hand won't beat around anyone's bush and just say....I love your boobs 😊
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RHP User
11 years ago
Well it would be a HELL NO! from me - vanilla and chilli chocolate just don't mix... I have one lovely vanilla mate that lost it when he found out Mr and I have been with another couple for three years - and he is a fairly open minded soul- he was propositioning me at the time! Maybe he just wasn't prepared for a fellow parent to be into this lifestyle. I like keeping my two worlds very very separate.
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'sir_stir' Some may say they certain things about you....like they like your name or stuff like that....me on the other hand won't beat around anyone's bush and just say....I love your boobs 😊 Love your subtlety. Cabin fever? You should wander out of your truck cabin once in a while. Constant exposure to 10 day old pickled socks and undies is deemed toxic....
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm surprised at the amount of sexual shame among members here. The term 'vanilla' that many of you use is rather ironic........isn't it 'vanilla' to hide or be ashamed of your own sexuality? I don't have vanilla friends or chocolate friends or salted caramel friends, I just have friends who I have in my life because they won't judge me, even if they have no interest in RHP etc. Leading a double life must be tiresome
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Fit73' I'm surprised at the amount of sexual shame among members here. The term 'vanilla' that many of you use is rather ironic........isn't it 'vanilla' to hide or be ashamed of your own sexuality? I don't have vanilla friends or chocolate friends or salted caramel friends, I just have friends who I have in my life because they won't judge me, even if they have no interest in RHP etc. Leading a double life must be tiresome I'm quite confident that I know my likes, dislikes and mores better than anyone else....and I really don't give a rats for "Exploring my sexuality" or sampling kinks to find if I have one or whatever...I have an open mind and what will be will be. I gravitate towards friends with a similar mindset.This vanilla, chocolate or whatever labelling is disapointing to see so often and only reinforces all forms of labelling people.
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RHP User
11 years ago
My sex life( or lack of) is private. All my friends and fam know Im online but they think Im on the sites like eharmony. Ppl accept those sites more than these ones. We know they are pretty much the same, but anyone watching the adverts on telly for both eharmony and pie or adult matchmaker will easily see that the last 2 promote and focus on easy sex in their ads.Eharmony have the happily ever after couple smiling and holding hands. So from my friends point of view, its more acceptable for me to be on a nice sugarcoated site. I love my friends but gee some of them are so sexually ignorant and closed minded that I cant have honest and open conversations about my experimental side and what Ive been involved in. Geez, if anal sex is brought up, the girls all go," no way, yuk,wrong,dirty",I just sit there nodding, as by those reactions, they wouldnt understand that side of me. Soooo, I keep it seperate and discrete.
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tylannister
11 years ago
Are people here really sexually shaming their 'vanilla friends' here? I don't think so. I'm not sure of your use of 'vanilla', but among my friends and I, it's not a pejorative term - being vanilla isn't about shame or hiding your sexuality at all - it's just about not being interested (for whatever reason) in having kink or openness in their sex life. As far as 'leading a double life' being tiresome - dude, that talk smacks of superiority right there. You want to talk about shaming? Lead the way. Frankly, you're a lucky man if you surround yourself by friends and family who are non-judgmental. Not all of us have that luxury. I'm lucky that my closest friends aren't. But I don't necessarily know that I need my workmates knowing I'm on here. And that's really what this topic is about. Who of your friends do you tell that you're here?
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
If you're not comfortable telling them then don't, if you are then tell them.... I don't hide who I am, I don't lie about who I am, or I don't make out I'm something I'm not..... Do I find the need to tell everybody all aspects of my lovers, my playmates, my shenanigans, my kinks, my choices, NO I dont, because they are all mine, no one else's......The problem is too many people be it vanilla or not so vanilla, in the real world or in here, who say they don't judge but indeed they do, but really at the end of the day, it's no one's business anyway....💋 I do things that make me happy, that I enjoy, to hell what anyone thinks., because you are never going to make everyone happy... You know the old song goes..."you can't please everyone, so just please yourself." 😊
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RHP User
11 years ago
And bragging (and over-inflating the importance) of my very few sexual exploits amongst my colleagues is the only thing that sets me apart from the masses. They are either shocked or impressed, depending on how vanilla THEY are - but they love me really so accept the kinks in my personality. :) I found a work/facebook friend on a similar site once, or rather, she found me. It was quite funny really - she sent me a message saying 'nice boobs' and I suddenly realized who it was and that I'd now seen hers too! We went to a meet and greet gathering together afterwards. Sad to say she went off with a couple, while as usual I went home alone. :(
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RHP User
11 years ago
Hahaha so good! Water off a ducks back. That is actually very subtle compared to a lot of the vulgar comments I get. Some men can be absolutely disgusting on here. Speaking about judgemental people...as much as people say they don't care and won't judge....that's bullsh!t. Most people judge. You have to live a double life if you want to have this lifestyle. I've just learnt to keep it to myself now. The general public expect women to be meek and mild and good girls through to the bone....that's boring. No thanks. I want to be deceptive, I'm captain conservative until I get to know a person then sh!t gets weird 😝👍 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I completely agree with tylannister. Being Vanilla is not a derogatory label unless you put that connotation on it. It just means someone is more conservative in how they express their sexuality and there is nothing wrong with that. It does not mean that because they are considered vanilla that they are also judgemental or somehow less sexual. People can be vanilla and open minded. At the other end of the spectrum someone can be very chocolate and have extreme fetishes and still be judgemental. We are what we are and our preferences are unique. Vanilla or not, these terms are just a quick reference to where someone is on the wide range of sexual expressions. Just my thoughts. LG
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Thank you. You both have articulated my thoughtrs about 'vanilla' and labelling. No derogatory meaning attached to it, like many people here but we choose how we want to see things. Enough said.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'tylannister' Are people here really sexually shaming their 'vanilla friends' here? I don't think so. I'm not sure of your use of 'vanilla', but among my friends and I, it's not a pejorative term - being vanilla isn't about shame or hiding your sexuality at all - it's just about not being interested (for whatever reason) in having kink or openness in their sex life. As far as 'leading a double life' being tiresome - dude, that talk smacks of superiority right there. You want to talk about shaming? Lead the way. Frankly, you're a lucky man if you surround yourself by friends and family who are non-judgmental. Not all of us have that luxury. I'm lucky that my closest friends aren't. But I don't necessarily know that I need my workmates knowing I'm on here. And that's really what this topic is about. Who of your friends do you tell that you're here? Then why are they your friends if they judge you? If anyone wants to judge me, I tell them to f*ck off out of my life. Funny thing is, none of them do that because they respect me for being authentic, even if they wouldn't do it themselves. Big deal......you're on a an online dating site where people are looking for casual hook-ups......it's so taboo, NOT!!! This is 2015 FFS.
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RHP User
11 years ago
...being vanilla is not a derogatory label in my opinion either...but it is a label nonetheless. But I don't believe Fit73 was suggesting that people here are sexually shaming their "Vanilla friends", as tylannister said.I didn't read that.
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ajaussie
11 years ago
One of friends knows abou me being here. But would like to keep my family and friends away from this secret .
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tylannister
11 years ago
Quoting 'Fit73' Then why are they your friends if they judge you? If anyone wants to judge me, I tell them to f*ck off out of my life. Funny thing is, none of them do that because they respect me for being authentic, even if they wouldn't do it themselves. Big deal......you're on a an online dating site where people are looking for casual hook-ups......it's so taboo, NOT!!! This is 2015 FFS. You're right - true friends shouldn't and probably don't care, and the best are even encouraging. But the reason some friends do judge is because they care and are concerned for their friend's welfare. About half the people who have posted in this thread don't talk to other people about RHP out of discretion for the views and opinions of the people around them. I think for it just shows a value for the love and support of friends and family without feeling the need to complicate it with things that don't necessarily need to be shared. I don't think it's fair to imply that they're not authentic for keeping their private life private.
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Nice. I think I wuv you... . Lol
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RHP User
11 years ago
well I told you to take your socks when you left.... 😝 - Posted from rhpmobile
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Seachange73
11 years ago
Lol. Ooops. My bad dear man. Lol. Nothing like old socks that double up as smelling salts. l love the potent smell of napalm in.the morning. (Straight out of apocalypse now).
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RHP User
11 years ago
We don't advertise that we are on here to anyone and everyone, but we have discussed it with a few friends when the topic has come up. All of our friends have been suprised, curious, and full of questions which we try to answer as honestly as possible. By the end of the conversation, nearly all of our friends have said that they admire us for our strength, unity, and honesty, and say that we are such a secure, wonderful example of a good relationship, especially as a couple our age. I feel like being a single female or male on this site wouldn't be as shocking news as being a couple. Like, being single, people are almost expected to constantly be looking for some sort of companionship with someone else- whether it be for casual sex or for a relationship or somewhere in between. Whereas, once you're in a long term relationship, I feel like society expects monogamy and for you to be satisfied completely in that relationship, hence why you wouldn't need to be on a site like this, so it's a bit more of a negative stereotype I guess. Which is obviously bullshit because monogamy works for some but doesn't for a lot of people and if more people were honest about what they want sexually then we'd have less divorce and happier relationships! I don't want our family knowing, as I am not interested in knowing about the sex lives of my family. I don't care what they do but I don't want to think about it haha!
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JohnAnn2227
11 years ago
A few of our friends know that we swing and are on here. They are cool about it without being interested in making the same journey in their relationship. As far as family... hell no! I have a cousin that knows we swing and go to swing clubs. She is cool about it and sometimes babysits for us. This website has not come up in conversation so we haven't mentioned it with her. As far as work friends... definitely not! It only takes one spiteful person to ruin a reputation or career. It was heartstopping when we were recognised by a group of parents at Saturday morning sport and wanted to chat about when we were going back to couples club next and that we should all go as a group etc. and have a good time. The vanilla friend who we were sitting with thought they meant the "Coffee Club" at Circular Quay and asked us about the food etc as she hadn't been there. We had to have a discreet talk with those parents who werevery open about their "socialising" together and didn't realise that we were more private.
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225Special
11 years ago
Seeing as both our parents live locally and would have pink kittens if they found out, we just keep it to ourselves. - Posted from rhpmobile
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