M41 F40
The Dinner Question
August 17 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Ange.... Its a fair question to ask. The only explanation I can offer, revolves around how you asked. If you led with something like "looking forward to dinner..... i thought it might be a good idea to let you know.., I have a few allergies and have bad reactions to" etc..... then you can never be called rude. DG- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well what I actually said was, "sounds great, what are we having?" I really don't think that sounds too bad. Ange
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erotictouch4u
12 years ago
Quoting 'Mischeviouslad'Ange.... Its a fair question to ask. The only explanation I can offer, revolves around how you asked. If you led with something like "looking forward to dinner..... i thought it might be a good idea to let you know.., I have a few allergies and have bad reactions to" etc..... then you can never be called rude. DG- Posted from rhpmobile Better not to ask what they are serving, rather explain what alergies you have and let them change the menu if they were planning on something with your items in it. ET xox
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RHP User
12 years ago
I always ask, mainly because there are some food I am not keen on and I do have a mild allergy to mushrooms (yes everyone can laugh now). But I have learnt over the years to not ask outright. When the invitation is offered, I ask what is being served so I can bring a suitable wine. After all it is good manners to arrive with something right and at least I know the wine will be palatable lol Mooka
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RHP User
12 years ago
It is a fair question, if you have allergies then it is pertinent, if they don't understand then perhaps it is a good thing you find out what they are like now as they could also force you into doing things you don't wish to do.
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Coops27M
12 years ago
@Mooka Why would we laugh that you have a slight allergy to mushrooms? Maybe i missed the joke :)- Posted from rhpmobile
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Coops27M
12 years ago
@Cumfckus85 I wouldn't have thought so, sound like delicate people, if you get that reaction questioning them about dinner god forbid the reaction asking them how they like to have sex. Assuming they are potential playmates- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
It is a very normal question and usually when asking someone over to dinner, you ask if you have any allergies! People are just way to sensitive these days! - Posted from rhpmobile
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sweetgem
12 years ago
Ange, your question is not rude, but everyone receives and interprets messages and the tone differently, especially when it's done in text or email form. Hopefully yours was (at least) an over the phone incident. I don't know how well you know the inviter (the host), but to some people, it could be too casual to ask the question in the exact way you've asked, if you haven't met the inviter before, because the dinner would be held at their place and they would be cooking. So coming from their perspective, it seemed a bit demanding. Of course, to have such a big reaction is not rational or reasonable. However, words are too powerful to uneducated people! Don't worry about it, just laugh AT it and learn from your experience :)- Posted from rhpmobile
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On_Safari
12 years ago
If they didn't care that you were interested in what was on the menu then they probably weren't going to care about what else you wanted either!! I personally always ask if there are any special dietary requirements when I have people over even if it's the kids friends having a sleepover. There are so many more people out there with allergies and intolerances these days. ;-) just sayin'.
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RHP User
12 years ago
and like others have said, I would do the same and actually inform them what's on the menu if I wasn't asked
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RHP User
12 years ago
What's for desert... Only then will I commit my time... Lol 😄😄 I don't have any allergies, so other than to bring a wine or a dessert, I wouldn't need to ask about whatever you were preparing... I'd just assume it would be edible 😘 Hp xo 💌 I'm only here for the forums...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Just as everyone else has said, it is how you ask - but also pertinent when you have allergies. Personally I always ask guests who I haven't cooked for before if there is anything that they don't eat or are allergic to... But that is the retro domestic goddess in me apparently. If instead of asking what they are serving you just mentioned that they should know that you can't eat x, y and z due to allergies - only an insane person would take that as rude. Just asking straight out "what is being served" may make them feel a little like what they are cooking is a condition for meeting them but it depends on the person. If someone just said that to me I'd normally reply with "Offal and gruel... But you're coming to see me and not just free food right?".- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Bloody hell woman....I had slaved over that darn kitchen for hours, and I had said previously it was a surprise.....holy mother of god.... By the way, how do you like your crumpets?? :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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