F53
The Excitement of the Chase
August 17 2014
Comments
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Well that sounds pretty ordinary then. Just scratching an itch and if I have time I might call or maybe I won't. So Lily you don't like the drama? Well fair enough, but you don't contact them and they don't contact you because the sex was ordinary or the connection between you was lacking. I say NEXT!
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Just because people have fully functioning genitals; doesn't mean that that's all it takes.... It takes two to escalate things and it takes two to engage.... Therefore it takes TWO to follow up..... And to be honest who cares who??? - Posted from rhpmobile
-
Seachange73
11 years ago
I missed out on typing that I may not call/contact straight away to meet soon after a meet, due to my work and familial responsibilities. but I make it a habit to thank them for the time we have spent together. When we will meet again, I can not commit. But with my FWBs, we are on the same boat so expectations are clear between parties and to avoid the drama that comes with a serious relationship. I do not desire a boyfriend, a long term relationship or a husband at this point in my life, as full time relationships require a lot of time and energy to invest in to make it worth the effort. I dont think I can afford any spare time and energy at this point. But I still want the intimacy of one or more fwb. just aligning free time with fwbs is a problem as me being a working single mom. Meeka, yes you have a point there re. scratching an itch. a good metaphor. Shallow as it sounds, nothing wrong with that as it fulfills its purpose/needs as it stands in time. some people find that in swingers clubs, some in meeting new fbs or hooking up with whichever fwb who is available when the itch surfaces. the players and geography may vary but the need remains. resulting satisfaction of a meet will vary on different factors but that is for another thread. Yes, if I am tired, I most likely will not be much in the mood and most likely to be ordinary and should not expect seconds. Lol. In most likely case, I will call to cancel or resched. Terrible to be a starfish.
-
Seachange73
11 years ago
I would like to hear from the men as well. I would be interesting to hear your views. thank you
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Lily, I'm still doing my research. I have my theories on how life, the universe and women's emotions work, but I'm afraid most of my experiments have blown up in my face. I'll be donning the lab coat, protective devices and googles and continuing my field tests as soon as I find willing subjects. Until then, I'm not ready to publish my hypothesis. Shine on, Lily. Silva xxx
-
RHP User
11 years ago
So long ago!! I was very new and he really had pursued me very intensely, daily texts...phone calls... Compliments...for a good month or so. Then finally(after three dates), we had sex. Then nothing!! We had both discussed that we wanted something ongoing, we seemed to get along really well, there was an attraction.. I was so worried (after having sex with only one person for 18yrs) that I was a dud root! Maybe i was? Who knows? I really did not understand. He then texted me nearly two months later... Hi, how's it going? Let's catch up? !!! Wtf?? I told him to go jump. At the time I was really only after something very casual. I was too numb emotionally after my marriage break down so I couldn't have fallen for anyone... He was an idiot if he was worried about me falling for him. And what is with that mindset? Men think they are so special that no woman can resist their delicious charms?? Please!! Ugh! On another note, it was so cool how supportive all the forumites were at the time. I really needed that and learned a lot. It might have been my first post- not sure though...
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I admit after years of looking after an ill family member I may have been a little gullible. But I have also had this experience..being relentlessly pursued for over two months. Openly discussed ongoing meets only, no one nighters etc. Daily texts, emails, up till all hours of the night, talking, cam chats, multiple photos exchanged, so no surprises when we meet... finally I work up the courage to meet, he sends me texts every hour counting down to the moment, and so on, then out of nowhere he's not available anymore but he still chats regularly on here. Then I see him out in town when he said he wouldn't be in Perth. It eats at me so I ask the question, in a nutshell it snowballs from there and all of a sudden I'm accused of wanting more than he could give...this is not the case, it appears I simply trusted the wrong person. - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Can be thrilling ,build up anticipation ,lust all the intense opportunities for a special unity! Stunned that men/women do a runner so to speak ,after an encounter! Bad manners,selfish,combination of reasons,but why is this so common! Some want the intimacy more than sex,worlds seem to collide! Maybe it being a sex site ,it is a case of chase completed! Not my view,surely the journey has just begun,rare to find a genuine bond,these days! We all have our flaws,people don't like to feel vulnerable,perhaps if it feels too good people run from it! Life is about learning,surely our selections depict who we are ,or who we will become!xx
-
RHP User
11 years ago
can only have sex....but many men don't believe it....so there is no way to convince them so you just don't. Simple as that. Who wants to come back will eventually come back and who doesn't, doesn't. I can not give the men a snotty response because I havnt heard from them for weeks or month, because I am not in a relationship with them, so why should he has to. We all say to each after, I will contact you, that's just how we talk. Some men are just so delicious and I am happy to be with them and when these men are frightened to come back I cant help them its there own insecurity. I think we have to many conditions and rules on everything. I am busy over the week, and in my job I deal with many people so on the weekend I live a Hermite lifestyle so I can recharge my batteries, ohh I love sex but sometimes I just feel I need to be alone.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
But everyone has a phone too... I meet people, if I like them and want to see them again I express so, then it's up to them... It's funny though, some people don't reply to texts, and later claim to have been really busy for days, yet post amazing amounts of crap in this place... Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it...
-
RHP User
11 years ago
;)
-
Seachange73
11 years ago
so you are saying that you had sex with the aforementioned woman the first time and then no more contact? did she say she wanted to see you again after the event? I would take it so that negates the argument above that men are not interested in further contact after first time sex. thanks for input. maybe instead of slamming that person in the forum, she just was not interested anymore, for whatever reason, and that is for your to examine what has transpired during your encounter and best ask her why she did not call so you can achieve closure? Just saying. she may just not able to tell you for fear of being abused or hurting you. so many threads on that here where women fear the repercussions of rejecting a man, as men have been abusive verbally even for saying no to a flirt! Imagine what they can be like after an intimate meet? I think Mischievous Lad had mentioned in one of his posting that silence is already an answer whether one is interested or not in pursuing anything further. We just move on. A couple of fwb has fizzled out (after a few meets) because of our schedule clashes. the gaps between trysts got longer and then we just both realized it was too hard for both of us to continue. No drama. I look at the positive and we had fun. C'est la vie.
-
Tall74nHard9
11 years ago
Take a quick look at Meeka's forum subject "Emotional investment & scheduling roots", and I'm pretty sure you will get your answer fairly quickly. The two of you (for example) have come across almost directly opposite for what is expected / wished for in meeting up with others for sexual fulfilment. If you gals can't agree, what the hell are us mere simple blokes supposed to make of the situation ??? As always in here, it boils down to each persons own interpretation of a situation, and finding someone who hopefully will also have the same /similar interpretation of the situation. Trouble is, that rarely occurs, and naturally that gets into all sorts of problems with the other. Communication between the two parties is the answer, but in our rushed lives today the communication is usually not as effective as it perhaps should be to determine what both parties desire. Come up with the answer and you may be on the way to a Nobel prize !? Tall
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I do not get back to men at all. Its up to them, if they want me again then they can contact me. I tell them that at the first meeting, one guy said to me, really? I think your the only woman that gets it. that was three years ago and he is still contacting me even if its just a message to say high. I know from my own contact with other women, yes women can get pretty upset if a man gets inside them, and then really gets into them and makes them so hot that their hair stands on end, then yes the woman wants some more of that. You want to know why? Because very few men are actually very good lovers. Its the womanizers, the ones that get lots of practice and the ones that get into a woman's head that are hot in bed. Or its that cute nice sexy guy that just happens to make your pussy twitch and your heart flutter and you nipples pinch up at the thought of him. Its the guys that the woman knows will be hard to keep in her sheet, those bad boy fuckers who make you breathless. Single women are at risk of falling and they want guys to date them. The sad truth of it all is this, most men will not date a woman he meets in a sex site. God knows how many times I have to explain to men that their sisters, their cousins their mothers are just the same as the woman on rhp. Women can bleat all they like about men not calling them back, but men are wired for the huntmen either fuck or fight its in their DNA so let them chase you down like a rabbit and bite you on the back of the neck
-
RHP User
11 years ago
In that I didn't even meet her... I was keen, but her behavior showed that I'd dodged an ICBM... After floating around in this place for what seems like an eternity sometimes, you learn to recognise patterns of behavior... The "public" v "private" faces of people... It's well documented that the forums have been home to some pretty delusional people over the years... Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it...
-
Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'MissBlissBomb' So long ago!! I was very new and he really had pursued me very intensely, daily texts...phone calls... Compliments...for a good month or so. Then finally(after three dates), we had sex. Then nothing!! We had both discussed that we wanted something ongoing, we seemed to get along really well, there was an attraction.. I was so worried (after having sex with only one person for 18yrs) that I was a dud root! Maybe i was? Who knows? I really did not understand. He then texted me nearly two months later... Hi, how's it going? Let's catch up? !!! Wtf?? I told him to go jump. At the time I was really only after something very casual. I was too numb emotionally after my marriage break down so I couldn't have fallen for anyone... He was an idiot if he was worried about me falling for him. And what is with that mindset? Men think they are so special that no woman can resist their delicious charms?? Please!! Ugh! On another note, it was so cool how supportive all the forumites were at the time. I really needed that and learned a lot. It might have been my first post- not sure though... Was it you? Lol. sorry for not remembering details. So sorry to hear it happened to you. Hugs. I stumbled upon it some time ago and made a mental note on the scenario in my pursuit in understanding men's behaviour on the chase. it happens everywhere, this dating site or in reality. To understand the flippant nature (just one side) of the chase. nothing beats hearing other people's experience and thoughts on the matter. I am guilty of not keeping in touch constantly with my FWBs (what is the acceptable frequency I wonder) due to my work and familial priorities and for fear that I may be seen as needy (which I am not) or even worst, a stalker (bunny boiler material. Lol). I would occasionally send them a text or kik message ( short and sweet) to see how they are faring and give ideas on I return home to Melbourne (from my worktrips), my availabitiy and if they want to meet. simple. As it is not a serious relationship, but an ongoing friendship with benefits, time invested with them does not supersede the 'real' to demands of raising my kids and earning a crust to pay my bills. My lot as a single parent with a demanding work schedule. some people judge but that is their prerogative, which has no bearing on my happiness.
-
Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'Highpriority' In that I didn't even meet her... I was keen, but her behavior showed that I'd dodged an ICBM... After floating around in this place for what seems like an eternity sometimes, you learn to recognise patterns of behavior... The "public" v "private" faces of people... It's well documented that the forums have been home to some pretty delusional people over the years... Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it... that is not within the context of this subject then. Lol. You have not addressed the question/subject of the topic. Lol And she may have felt the same. There are always two sides (or more) to the story I suppose. Lol
-
Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'inthekiss' I do not get back to men at all. Its up to them, if they want me again then they can contact me. I tell them that at the first meeting, one guy said to me, really? I think your the only woman that gets it. that was three years ago and he is still contacting me even if its just a message to say high. I know from my own contact with other women, yes women can get pretty upset if a man gets inside them, and then really gets into them and makes them so hot that their hair stands on end, then yes the woman wants some more of that. You want to know why? Because very few men are actually very good lovers. Its the womanizers, the ones that get lots of practice and the ones that get into a woman's head that are hot in bed. Or its that cute nice sexy guy that just happens to make your pussy twitch and your heart flutter and you nipples pinch up at the thought of him. Its the guys that the woman knows will be hard to keep in her sheet, those bad boy fuckers who make you breathless. Single women are at risk of falling and they want guys to date them. The sad truth of it all is this, most men will not date a woman he meets in a sex site. God knows how many times I have to explain to men that their sisters, their cousins their mothers are just the same as the woman on rhp. Women can bleat all they like about men not calling them back, but men are wired for the huntmen either fuck or fight its in their DNA so let them chase you down like a rabbit and bite you on the back of the neck well said. I thought as much but women can get judged on here as much as the men, for not keeping in touch. I too adopt the attitude you espouse and not to the liking of all the men.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Hi I am home today had some damage on my house from the storm. So I can answer. After yesterdays talk we both had its great to learn from a experience women and that's what you are. I see hopefully the man as he is.....yes I cant know what I portray to the individual I meet, nerveless I try to be as upfront as possible. Ok I cant say it like you....I am more elusive in my responses I believe, still the men I meet I like some more some less, Some I have sex with and some I just talk and know I cant go there. I think some men feel the same with me, it is not easy to be honest because you know you hurt them, or they me...because I am cute and nice. Maybe men have it harder to do so, I had one yesterday I med for dinner. I just couldn't go there, he is a very nice person but just not for me, I cried believe me, I cried, because I feel for him, he wanted me so badly and I couldn't go one step further. Maybe I am to sensitive to men feelings, maybe I am just a soft female I don't know.....I just felt his pain and it is for me a very shit feeling. But we as women have to realize they are not women they are men, they have a different genetic coding, and quite frankly I like men to be men and not women. So why don't we just embrace the differences. Hey sisters I am not saying I do it always right.....no way I am....I fall in a female trap to sometimes but it only needs my sons or my best mate to put my head right. L
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I agree cut it short if no chemistry ,why lead man/women on! Surely friends are a good option if there is no spark! Not everyone has a sexual connection,believe if you spend quality time with anyone it's courtesy to send odd message,don't have to live in pockets!like old friends you catch up when you can ,feels nothing has changed laughs good times xx
-
Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'Highpriority' In that I didn't even meet her... I was keen, but her behavior showed that I'd dodged an ICBM... After floating around in this place for what seems like an eternity sometimes, you learn to recognise patterns of behavior... The "public" v "private" faces of people... It's well documented that the forums have been home to some pretty delusional people over the years... Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it... ICBM? what is that? Lol. You sound a bit bitter though, not a good sign. Maybe you should examine your behaviour of what transpired and maybe you will find clues of why she did not want to meet with you rather than be bitter about it and demonizing women here. Why is that it has to be the woman's fault all the time? That is not a good attitude to take on to a start a journey with a potentiak fwb? Just a thought. Reflection, introspection and empathy is always good. Were there things you said that may have turned her off you that may have raised red flags to her? In my short dealings with men here, I find that some men are arrogant, presumptious or maybe unintentionally clumsy in their dealings with women, even before the meet. Women are very wary of meeting volatile men or even 'crazies' and our ears are pricked watching out for signals. after all we are all after a good experience, not be a voluntary trauma patient. So firstly, understand the sensitive nature of women and we are wired that way. Just part of our defensive mechanism as we do not possess the physical prowess you men have so we work it in different ways. If you read the forum, which you are a long standing regular as you have been here many years, a lot of the women's posts time and time again, women say 'NEXT' when they find that the men do not measure to their needs, including the feeling that they will be respected and make them feel safe in their company. Just saying. For me, I have decided to go on meet some beautiful men on here for casual company (usu. travel meets) or fwb (regular meets) because aside from the physical and mental attraction, I feel respected and safe in their company. If men can see that, you have a better chance of having a great time here in whatever capacity you decide on. Best wishes.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Interesting thread. I think it works pretty well (or badly) both ways. Some people are just not great at communicating and some make a lot of assumptions. I think a lot of guys will put up with someone who is just ok in their mind to get their rocks off, then move on once they are satisfied. If you really hit it off, then I don't think it really matters as long as both are on the same page as to what kind of relationship you expect. Most people are not as open as they need to be - little fears and insecurities abound, little white lies to not hurt someones feelings, when in reality calling how it is will be better for all concerned. If you are honest with yourself about what you want and expect that is a good start - in my experience women are much better at this than guys. Unfortunately guys can be pretty crap at this and their libido can impair their judgement. I think sometimes they honestly think one thing and afterwards when they are less horny, they discover they are not quite so besotted. Maturity and experience helps as does knowing yourself really well I think - all lifetime pursuits :-) Unfortunately for a lot of men there is the conquest element. But for women too there is the I will just ignore his calls and texts - "the silent treatemnt" - still very common, whereas "thanks, it was fun, but unlikely to revisit" is a possibly better tactic. Is instant gratification the problem? Everyone want it all and NOW! Maybe a bit to be said for old fashioned dating - there is of course the radical concept of actually really knowing and liking someone before hopping in the sack . . .
-
Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'silvangold' Lily, I'm still doing my research. I have my theories on how life, the universe and women's emotions work, but I'm afraid most of my experiments have blown up in my face. I'll be donning the lab coat, protective devices and googles and continuing my field tests as soon as I find willing subjects. Until then, I'm not ready to publish my hypothesis. Shine on, Lily. Silva xxx funny bugger. Where do we sign up...
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I am waiting for all the tradesman to come. PLEASE CHASE me you lovely men out there. You need a good strong net, rod or a lasso.....I am not tall but roundish you know what I mean I could brake away in my slow way.....I am not fast on my short stumpy legs but hey please chase me nerveless, we can do this in slow motion.....I like it......ohh dooooooooooooo I like it. Shit I am having this funny morning........
-
Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'Tall_n_Hard' Take a quick look at Meeka's forum subject "Emotional investment & scheduling roots", and I'm pretty sure you will get your answer fairly quickly. The two of you (for example) have come across almost directly opposite for what is expected / wished for in meeting up with others for sexual fulfilment. If you gals can't agree, what the hell are us mere simple blokes supposed to make of the situation ??? As always in here, it boils down to each persons own interpretation of a situation, and finding someone who hopefully will also have the same /similar interpretation of the situation. Trouble is, that rarely occurs, and naturally that gets into all sorts of problems with the other. Communication between the two parties is the answer, but in our rushed lives today the communication is usually not as effective as it perhaps should be to determine what both parties desire. Come up with the answer and you may be on the way to a Nobel prize !? Tall Meeka's forum post appeared after mine and I believe as an offshoot of this topic. Rightly so as it addresses another issue. I still have to respond to hers when I have the time. thanks for the heads up.
-
Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'Tall_n_Hard' Take a quick look at Meeka's forum subject "Emotional investment & scheduling roots", and I'm pretty sure you will get your answer fairly quickly. The two of you (for example) have come across almost directly opposite for what is expected / wished for in meeting up with others for sexual fulfilment. If you gals can't agree, what the hell are us mere simple blokes supposed to make of the situation ??? Tall Haha. Like all people, male or female, we may not all agree on issues as we all come to the table with our own wishlists and views of the world. Nothing wrong with that. Makes the discussion more interesting and robust. dont you think? The only sad thing is that when you go into the fray with malicious intentions or negativity, nothing good eventuates. so we move on if we find that the situation does not suit. Must we always agree though? Lol . Don't hold your breath. Variety my dear man, variety.... . chit chat over, back to work for me. cheers.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Highpriority' In that I didn't even meet her... I was keen, but her behavior showed that I'd dodged an ICBM... After floating around in this place for what seems like an eternity sometimes, you learn to recognise patterns of behavior... The "public" v "private" faces of people... It's well documented that the forums have been home to some pretty delusional people over the years... Hp xo💋 Because you're worth it... how can you say that? Everyone knows i am 25 and a goddess and I root like a bandit the minute i lay eyes on a guy, plus i know you wanted to marry me the moment you saw me.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
In my experiences to date, it is not that the attraction level falls, it's that the entanglement level rises ! I don't like wham bam, I like to show the lady and indulge myself in a complete time, wine, nibbles, conversation, maybe I cook a meal, cool music and passionate sex, very passionate, I do get emotional, I want to develop trust, rapport , go exploring sexual avenues together. I love nothing more than to do return dates but more often than not I find the meets become more frequent, the conversation turns to how many are you seeing, you send mixed signals, I feel like your whore etc etc.This seems to happen even after the initial setting of the rules conversation.The only NSA arrangement I have had that worked as advertised was with a married lady.In this mans experience, FWB or NSA is wishful thinking.
-
Tall74nHard9
11 years ago
I did make the point in my posting of different interpretations of what is wished for / desired in our meetings and contacts, and therefore why it may be difficult to understand (for either male or female) what the desired destination is. As you also noted, we are all individuals and hence agreement is never taken for granted (or indeed rarely happens) - and indeed variety is the spice of life. But we digress from the initial OP's of both you ladies, in that one is seeking more commitment from meetings, whereas the other is open to more 'casual' meetings. How are we blokes supposed to win ? One says yes, one says no, and we generally can't read minds to see which way we have to jump. Aarrrrrggghhhhh !!!! Tall
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Are you saying that I want more commitment? Well if you mean someone wanting to invest more time and effort into having great sex, well than yes. That is want I want. I want someone who is sexually mature and emotionally intelligent who knows that investing some time and having some emotions does not have to lead to commitment or anything serious. It just gives a casual arrangement more depth and ultimately leads to better sex and a good friendship. At the end of the day I am as shallow as the next person. I want fantastic rip your clothes off sex and unfortunately this is rare in random or first meets. Although I probably should take up drinking.... :p
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I don't like all the emailing, and meeting up with strangers to see if we click. So I prefer to invest time in an ongoing arrangement where the sex can develop into great sex rather than lots of random sex which I don't find satisfying. I don't know how some people do it, mainly guys(?), the chasing after women and having sex with someone new all the time. Since they don't go back or seconds or thirds, etc. Does this mean that they are all having really bad sex?!?
-
On_Safari
11 years ago
Don't keave the other person hanging. It was nice and thanks but "IT" isn't there. Easy as.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I have said i will call you later in my younger days just to be polite and to get out off a bad situation, not implying yours was that. I thought it would sound better than your not what i want, I had lots of lovers in my day but thats how both sexes would treat each other. That line was used on me as well but it did not affect me, Sometimes i put it down to mother nature and the selection process and how much did we drink last night lol.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'I_N_D_A_G_I_N_E' Don't keave the other person hanging. It was nice and thanks but "IT" isn't there. Easy as. "met someone else cya" by text of course.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'I_N_D_A_G_I_N_E' Don't keave the other person hanging. It was nice and thanks but "IT" isn't there. Easy as. "met someone else cya" by text of course. Live by the sword, die by the sword. pmsl.
-
Tall74nHard9
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Are you saying that I want more commitment? Well if you mean someone wanting to invest more time and effort into having great sex, well than yes. That is want I want. I want someone who is sexually mature and emotionally intelligent who knows that investing some time and having some emotions does not have to lead to commitment or anything serious. It just gives a casual arrangement more depth and ultimately leads to better sex and a good friendship. At the end of the day I am as shallow as the next person. I want fantastic rip your clothes off sex and unfortunately this is rare in random or first meets. Although I probably should take up drinking.... :p I was not trying to make a point of "right or wrong" between the two of you ladies, but was rather contrasting the approaches of both of you in your forum subjects. I agree with your sentiment wholeheartedly, but as been pointed out ad-nauseam previously, it depends on what the individual wants at a particular point of time. One person may be in a rush for some reason, and therefore does not want to get all involved in the moment. Some people just prefer a quick meet n root without having to bother with all the niceties either. As I have pointed out in my previous replies (as have many others), it all comes down to communication between the two people involved as to what they wish or expect. Also it can come down to a persons confidence in themselves, or the other party. Furthermore, it can come down to the demographics you are mixing with or trying to attract - refer to the forum posting about 'older men'. I'm sure you would find precisely what you crave if you perhaps tried a broader demographic (as per the many responses in said posting). I'm sure there are many, many men who would love the 'deeper connection' in their initial contacts that you speak of - me included. So let us males know when you are ready to have your clothes ripped off - I'm sure many would be ready to oblige. Tall
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Do men really think that once they have bedded the women, that the attraction level drops very quickly and why? Yes, I think so. It seems to happen over and over. Is the argument that men believe that 'women make emotional attachments after first time sex' , thereby wanting SA,a valid one for them not to have repeat performances,. i.e. no return calls? I usually follow up but only get replies half the time.....which says a lot about men in general IMO. Wish they would have the guts enough to say " Ok, thanks for your time and company but I don't wish to take this any further" .......that's all we need to know than at least we wouldn't be left wondering.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'playalone' I have said i will call you later in my younger days just to be polite and to get out off a bad situation, not implying yours was that. I thought it would sound better than your not what i want, I had lots of lovers in my day but thats how both sexes would treat each other. That line was used on me as well but it did not affect me, Sometimes i put it down to mother nature and the selection process and how much did we drink last night lol. Men seem to say things they do not mean because they think it is polite. Telling the truth straight up would not only be HONEST but more polite and therefore would be much more appreciated by the other party believe me.If I do not wish to see someone again I will tell them "Thanks for taking the time to meet me and I wish you well for the future"It's polite AND honest as it gets the message across leaving no doubt in the other person's mind yet you haven't offended them in any way.There's always suitable ways of saying the right thing so that both parties are clear on what's happening and no-one feels insulted........but without those annoying " BS white lies"
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'MissBlissBomb' So long ago!! I was very new and he really had pursued me very intensely, daily texts...phone calls... Compliments...for a good month or so. Then finally(after three dates), we had sex. Then nothing!! We had both discussed that we wanted something ongoing, we seemed to get along really well, there was an attraction.. I was so worried (after having sex with only one person for 18yrs) that I was a dud root! Maybe i was? Who knows? I really did not understand. He then texted me nearly two months later... Hi, how's it going? Let's catch up? !!! Wtf?? I told him to go jump. At the time I was really only after something very casual. I was too numb emotionally after my marriage break down so I couldn't have fallen for anyone... He was an idiot if he was worried about me falling for him. And what is with that mindset? Men think they are so special that no woman can resist their delicious charms?? Please!! Ugh! On another note, it was so cool how supportive all the forumites were at the time. I really needed that and learned a lot. It might have been my first post- not sure though... It happens over and over. You are not the only one.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
As humans, we are hardwired to be inquisitive, to be attracted by the novel. We build up our expectations through engaging in an elaborate fantasy construct of what the other person will be like. Frisson is an excellent word to encapsulate the mix of fear and exhilaration as we wind ourselves up to open the Pandora's box. Some people live for the adrenalin rush of the new thing so that having unwrapped the present, they lose interest and look for the next fix of frisson. It may be insensitive but not callous because there is no malice. I personally find it a waste of resources since it took so much time and effort to reach that climax to then waste the opportunity to explore further. But addictions are not logical. The situation of disappointment of not even reaching the stage of opening the box is understandable but at the end of the day, your fantasy was never going to match the reality of what you would find. And you can mourn what you never had. In my opinion
-
Seachange73
11 years ago
Quoting 'playalone' I have said i will call you later in my younger days just to be polite and to get out off a bad situation, not implying yours was that. I thought it would sound better than your not what i want, I had lots of lovers in my day but thats how both sexes would treat each other. That line was used on me as well but it did not affect me, Sometimes i put it down to mother nature and the selection process and how much did we drink last night lol. thanks for the post and your perspective on the subject matter. and with your honesty. I didn't really do a lot of dating when I was young because my focus was my studies and then work. All that sleeping around business that my peers did was not something I experienced. Casual hookups was alien to me when I was growing up, only did serious relationships. or none at all. I did the casual scene, for a very short time, when I was a young graduate and lived overseas. but then settled very quickly into relationships. I would say I was a serial monogamist until not long ago. Hence the concept disappearing act after the chase is something I may have understand and put into perspective in my dealing with men in a non-serious relationship. thanks for your relevant contribution from a man's viewpoint.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Tall_n_Hard' I did make the point in my posting of different interpretations of what is wished for / desired in our meetings and contacts, and therefore why it may be difficult to understand (for either male or female) what the desired destination is. As you also noted, we are all individuals and hence agreement is never taken for granted (or indeed rarely happens) - and indeed variety is the spice of life. But we digress from the initial OP's of both you ladies, in that one is seeking more commitment from meetings, whereas the other is open to more 'casual' meetings. How are we blokes supposed to win ? One says yes, one says no, and we generally can't read minds to see which way we have to jump. Aarrrrrggghhhhh !!!! Tall apply the same argument to men who tell you anything to get in your pants, we aren't mind readers either and you guys constantly refer to us ladies as being confusing, but you aren't exactly clear yourselves.
-
On_Safari
11 years ago
Come a little bit closer so I can slap you upside the head!! Haha xx
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Perhaps it's an addictive nature by some men /women! Surely karma will catch up if you treat people like a bic disposable (use and throw away)! Can also be like Ed Sheeran song (dont),lyrics Don't fuck with my love/that heart is so cold!take aim and reload!
-
RHP User
11 years ago
will there be ever a truth between our sexes? Will we ever understand each other....will we ever hear what we want to hear. The misunderstandings go on and on. What a scheiss really, what a shit. So for me its just, I do what I feel, say what i think, try not to hurt the other and still state my desire. Honestly in a way I give a rats arse do men get me or not, I cant change it anyway.....as some say, you call they run you dont call they think they have been bad in bed.....so what to do.....honest just what I think what is in this particular moment right for me and how the other reacts is his problem?
-
Tall74nHard9
11 years ago
In a generalized context, you are correct in your statement. I believe it applies reasonably equally to both sexes just because we are unsure about how we stand with the other. As I have inferred during this topic, it is a matter of some clear discussion between the two parties to find out what you wish / desire to take place. May sound a little awkward as an opening between the two people concerned, but can save some heartache later on. Similarly, as pointed out during the topic, we are individuals who can have differing desires with regards to physical contact. Some may be quite happy with the 'hit and run' , whereas others desire the more longer intimate contact. This can change even between the two same people at various times, depending on other demands of your time. It only gets confusing if you don't talk with each other. Tall
-
RHP User
11 years ago
great qus btw you inquisitive ,intellectual hottie,heres my take for what its worth.thousands of years ago if us males,cave man fuck yeti even just would have got aroused ,seen what they wanted to grab hold of ,dragged her by the hair back to his cave and penetrated (no barry white in the background or rosepettels on the dirt floor),it was a raw primal cum sharing necessity that nature relied upon .wouldn't have been overly personal or romantic but she got the parcel n he got to do the "Toyota leap in the air heel kick" seamen left him into her he stumbled off to club some double parked wooly mammouth and she continued the circle of life..........guess that's along way of saying sometimes men just need to be primal n fuck once that leopardskin flyblown hottie has had the unenviable priviledge bestowed upon her onwards to the next insemination. its not as black n white today but but that primal urge to fuck ,cum n conquer and onto the next is in every man if even just one percent.(before you lovelly women read this and maybe get pissed at me,i want u to know I respect,unreservedly treat with compassion and understanding the women in my world,so take it easy on me)thanks for taking the time to read all
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'I_N_D_A_G_I_N_E' Come a little bit closer so I can slap you upside the head!! Haha xx It wasn't a suggestion. I was on the receiving end. Now kiss me better.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Litonya'will there be ever a truth between our sexes? Will we ever understand each other....will we ever hear what we want to hear. The misunderstandings go on and on. What a scheiss really, what a shit. So for me its just, I do what I feel, say what i think, try not to hurt the other and still state my desire. Honestly in a way I give a rats arse do men get me or not, I cant change it anyway.....as some say, you call they run you dont call they think they have been bad in bed.....so what to do.....honest just what I think what is in this particular moment right for me and how the other reacts is his problem? Yes, if you want to call do it, if you don't then don't, how other people choose to take it is not your responsibility ! As for the sexes understanding one another I hope not, that would be rather dull !
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'lilyorchid' Sometimes, if I don't call back it is just because I have a busy work and family life or I may have been seduced by other men. Happy to be in touch for more but that is a mutual decision. I dont like dramas and women's opportunities to meet men on this site abound. hence I will not be waiting for them whistfully to call back or me to rush to call him back (unless the connection is extraordinary for both of us). The reality of my current circumstance. There are a couple of FWB but the logistics of having a meet, coffe, dinner or raunchy sex, can be likened to planets aligning at times. Admit it, woman! You're just playing hard to get
-
Tall74nHard9
11 years ago
Quoting 'I_N_D_A_G_I_N_E' Come a little bit closer so I can slap you upside the head!! Haha xx Watching too much NCIS methinks ?? Tall
-
On_Safari
11 years ago
Baby 😘
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15118 Comments: 88290
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1417 Comments: 10254
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2519 Comments: 11672
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2506 Comments: 9772
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 1005 Comments: 5235
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1302 Comments: 5788
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 782 Comments: 1993
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 869
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share