The evolution of swinging

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  We started swapping everything but full sex , we never had the kissing rule . We now full swap, separate room play etc but I save anal sex for him :) Funny seeing the new comers to swinging saying no to so many things , but you need to be ready , have had your boundaries tested a little and a taste of the good stuff :) However it works for you as a couple is all good in my books!!

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  LoveFrenzy

  14 years ago

  Yes Delicious, boundaries have been challenged which was meant by "in reality a little more complex", but it all get talked out and in many ways brings you a lot closer as a couple.

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  We are with u guys from what we have read.Have you encountered the Bi Compulsory lot yet? But are straight?

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  QLDtwo4fun

  14 years ago

  We went through the same steps, within three dates. Mr was a bit slower on the swapping for sex. Like Delicious we save anal for just us. We still always play together. As for new goals, not really, just more practice.....

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Our first experience was with friends and it was same room, full swap so yeah, we dived in head first! We had never even spoken about the idea and it was kind of like a dream for me, a very blurry one....we were young, and full of cum But we loved it - every minute Not sure if this would work for everyone though! And the rest if history.....our only "rule" nowdays is same room purely for safety reasons really - just in case someone turns into a werewolf and decides to bite everyones headsoff.....Mrs Waterbabes xxx

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Great topic! I've considered this a fair bit of late and I wonder what the personal influences are that inform which path people take. Does it depend on the 'kind' of swinger you are? Are you for example the kind who likes to go to a club, have sex with a stranger(s) and then leave with no intention of ever crossing paths again OR are you a swinger who prefers to build a relationship (for want of a better word) with the people you play with and hope to value their friendship just as much as their sexuality. Does where you fit on this scale (and I do see it as a kind of scale) influence how you evolve as swingers and what your rules are likely to be?We are the latter type for sure and have developed some genuine friends with benefits. We never had the no kissing rule since kissing is a huge turn on for both of us and we figured if we were going to go down on someone else, where's the harm in kissing (and it feels sooooo gooooood). Having said that, our first couple experience was no kissing (their rule) which we found interesting. We have always been happy to full swap but only if the circumstances at the time were right. You know, right people, right place, right attitude. But we've had some of the hottest experiences just swapping for oral so for us, it's about being flexible enough to live in the moment and appreciate what's in front of you.It's only fairly recently that we've changed our position (so to speak) about same room/separate room play and while we are happy with both, we now find that separate rooms offers a little more freedom to consider your playmate without distraction. It's taken us a few years to get to this point and only with playmates that we've built mutual trust and respect with.I think we are quite slow on the swinging evolutionary scale and I'm okay with that. From where I'm sitting, this lifestyle only works if you are never pressured to move beyond what you are comfortable with. We have been lucky in this regard and have tried to follow that example; we have never pressured new playmates (especially those new to the lifestyle) to jump to full swap separate rooms. Whatever happens will happen, just enjoy it and walk the path at your own pace.

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  hi all, We have been in the lifestyle for 8 years Our first time was at a friends house in their spa, it was the most amazing thing ever. We did a full swap with no boundaries, we have been together for 30 years and married for 25 years so we do have great communication. We didint have the kissing thing as an issue but we do talk about our do's and don'ts when we are with a couple. Its also advisable to communicate with the other couple and talk about what their likes and dislikes are, theres nothing worse than being in the moment and the famous words (DONT DO THAT I DONT LIKE THAT !!!) Kills the moment!!. I feel its so much easier for the guy than the girl, this is my point of view. In all its not for everyone so girls if its not for you dont let your man drag you in for his pleasure!!!! Mr and Mrs Scorpios

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  luvsilver

  14 years ago

  We talked about different scenarios for a long time.Always thought we would start off first time ,same room with own partners and if we enjoyed ourselves then progress from there another time. What ended up happening was us and two other couples all changing around (you know who you are-lol). Due to time and distance restrictions we don't get to play often at all but for us it was head first from the start.Thing is we are not a couple that is "out there" so to speak so it was a bit of a shock to both of us what we were doing but something we do not regret. Kissing with the right people btw is one of the best parts in our funplay. Mr Luvsilver

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  QLDtwo4fun

  14 years ago

  Following on from scorpios64 ..........we have always subscribed to the position that "no one takes one for the team" We did once meet and run from a couple where she was too stoned to be considered a consenting adult.

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  LoveFrenzy

  14 years ago

  It's really all about your comfort zone, but remember that to move to the next stage you might have to move out of your comfort zone - and guess what, often once you have you're glad you did.

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  As much talking as possible......but openness and willingness to use our parameters as an adjustable framework that is ever changing, so we go with the flow and are happy to renegotiate; eg, we went to a private party I had had enough, my partner had not..... and wanted to play with a woman that was interested, I felt fine with him going for it so I encouraged him regardless of the fact we said we would not play separately. He was considerate and came out during to see if I was okay and I ended up playing for a bit ;)Our first 3 some was MMF (bi) our first couples experience 2 couples and us :) We now play open relationship style because we only spent 2 weeks a month with each other. We don't play separately when Mr is home. And I won't get with couples alone as I think it a bit greedy/selfish as my man works at a sausage fest of 'real men' that would never admit that a bunch of them would love to suck each others cocks :P We prefer MMFF (both bi) but also like straight and would never put compulsory!It evolves/revolves as wants/needs change :) We are happy to push our comfort zone how else do you find out if you do or don't like something? Cass xxx

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  After 2x2 and 2x1 there's big groups like > 6 at once and then there's swinging completely separatelyIf you want to test real taboos try suggesting to your partner swinging with a friend or relative LOL

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  So what is it you look for in selecting a person or people to play with..i think it would be great if there was a group of people we all knew and played with ...a secret club !!

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  I am not a fan of the way that orgies and gangbangs look but I am more tactile so I might like how they feel- only one way to find out, I guess ;) I was the same with dude on dude but in reality it's hot!Quoting 'slinkey' After 2x2 and 2x1 there's big groups like > 6 at once and then there's swinging completely separatelyIf you want to test real taboos try suggesting to your partner swinging with a friend or relative LOL

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Things have changed for us over time.Yes there was more rules in the beginning but they were slowly striped down and agreeing as a couple what was needed and what wasn't as we become more comfortable or wanted to try new things.This has been an adventure we both started out on so needed time and experience to understand what this part of our relationship meant to us and how we could make the most of it.At this stage we have a great understanding as a couple of what we want. Our main rule now is just that we are always open and communicate with each other.Take the time to make sure the road we are heading down is positive for both of us.I agree at times even now a situation will come along that's new and perhaps pushes our boundary's a little. I feel its easier to deal with it as a couple now as we have learned things from our passed experiences .Tim

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