M46

The question that has eluded mankind

February 06 2005

Now this is not a typical post, but was wondering if anyone could shed some light on situations such as these! I’m sure some of you out there have one way or another wonder about such things. Now my question is ’Can a man and a woman really become friends’ i mean think about it. Some of you may have dozens of lady friends. Some of us don’t!!! I guess my point here is that ’why do women always think that when a man ask a lady out for a cuppa tea’ that it carries a romantic connotation? I mean Cant a guy asks a lady out to test the waters first? You know to start off as friends without getting physical. See, i asks a lady to meet me for a cuppa tea right...she says ’i dont know you’ which is a famous line that every girl uses by the way. So i said that’s ok, let’s be friends! And she replied ’there’s no point in taking it further if i’m not interested in you’. Fair enough i said, so it ended there! See i’m not complaning or anything, most guys would just move on! But today i’ve decided to look further into things. Even when she said she was not interested in the first place,she didnt even want a friendship? i know most people here are looking for sex and are not looking for friends, but what is sooo wrong in making friends with other ppl even tho you are not interested in them? What i’m trying to say here is that you can never have too much friends, u know? Who knows somewhere down the track you might end up being good friends with that person. Now i ask this chick to meet me for tea, i didnt imply that i wanted something more out of it, and that its only ’as friends’, nothing more! Why do women like to make a big drama out of it?? And this is a question to all the guys out there... Have u ever noticed profiles which was too good to be true? Profiles that says ’i’m looking for guys with no hang-ups! I want to meet multiple guys for 3somes, etc! or i like no-strings hardcore sex. I saw a number of girls saying stuff like that in their profile! Sure it sounds tempting, but are they even real? All the real ones i reckon are couples looking for bi-girls/couples, etc... The ones who are looking for guys are few and far between, maybe they are fake, who knows? And even some of them are shallow minded in that they dont wanna be friends cos they think you are interested in them?? That you will somehow become a burden if they became friends with you! Now you will also noticed some profiles who says they only want sex and nothing more, etc...or somehting along those lines! Well these girls sounds like fun 2me but are they saying what they are really saying? lol... sure they say they only want no-strings sex but truth is, it is never that easy! Nowadays most girls, i mean even the dirtiest girls demand self respect. Sure i respect every girl, i never mistreat them in any way. But some of the things they say to ’us men’ can often be annoying, simple things like ’i dont wanna be your friend cos i don’t know you’ bla bla... Why dont they get to know me then? You have to start somewhere right? Why not start from the top? Its getting harder and harder for men to get to know a girl, u know! Even if its non-sexual, even wanting to be friends with a woman can be tough. They normally make up some excuses to avoid you! Now this post is not to make anyone mad, i just need some input from anyone, whether it’ll be a guy or a girl, i appreciate your comments! Shawn (Email address attached)

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RHP User

21 years ago

yes shawn i agree with u entirley. it is just all to hard and there are lots of people and couples pretending to be something they are not. i can understand wanting to be friends. can’t have sex but u can still be friends can’t you? it can also be hard to know a person is telling lies or not. I mean the number of times I have been told they are not interested only to have them grab me and fuck me or tell me they are not interested and do not like the fact i leave them alone. but didn’t she ask me to leave her alone? i mean if i persist i could get charged with rape or sexual abuse or sumthing. so i understand u being pissed and puzzled at things with the women. (Email address attached)

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RHP User

21 years ago

Well Shawn the big question is what do women want? Guess what no one has ever been able to answer that question & if they did it would take all the unknown out of dating, meeting people & soforth. Thats no fun!! As for being friends all the guys that I have been "close" friends with I have ended up having sex with down the track & in most cases it has ruined the type of friendship we had. A lot of married women are not able to be friends with guys because their husbands are to insecure to trust them alone with them, the " I trust you but I don’t trust him" thing. I have had a lot of "mates" but I wouldn’t sit down & get drunk with them & have a bitch about the hubby, its just not as much fun is it. My big problem now is how to be just friends with women as I like to play with them too. I have another question for you!!! Why do so many men say in their profile that they are straight when they are "BI" & whats with this "curious" thing. After once shouldn’t you know if your bi or not!!! Just a question? Any comments!!! Mrs XXX

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RHP User

21 years ago

No doubt I will get shot down in flames for my comments here but ..... Shawn, I have plenty of women friends... In point of fact I have more women friends than male friends. This has come about by the fact that I PREFER to associate with women (something Freudian in my up-bringing I suspect)... I find it easier to relate to women on a ’friend’ level, and secondly, I recognise the fact that the basis of a woman’s power/attraction/appeal is her sexuality (how many women use this fabulous tool?) - quite simply I try not to get drawn in by this. While all this wonderful from a friendship point of view it does make the prospect sexual relations somewhat harder. It does gripe me however, that because you and I and many others have put our names on this site, we are AUTOMATICALLY assumed to be seeking a piece off ass....that our sexual gratification is all we seek. Not so, from the many people I have spoken to... I know of several blokes who have put their names on this site out of sheer loneliness and assume that here at least they will find someone less judgemental than out in the real flesh-and-blood world. Of course this assumption is a myth... Historically women have ALWAYS held the trump cards and know very well when and how to play it. Ask yourself this question... "Who controls the courtship process in the human paradigm?" As men we need to recognise the cards we are dealt with and know how and when to DRAW the trump cards women hold so that occasionally we might win a few hands :) (Email address attached) or ring (Phone number attached)

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The question that has eluded mankind

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