F53
The top five regrets of the dying
November 16 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
There are some things that are out of your control and you cant change, therefore you may always feel regretful that nothing will change that. Like meeting the "right" person at the "wrong" time Fact is we will always find something that we feel we could have done better...differently...
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captainkaos
12 years ago
I will envy you and totally respect you. I am so jealous. I have my own business and i often feel the same way. I wont lie. I like the money and the tax benefits of running your own business but the stress can be incredible. Sometimes i think about chucking it all in and working for someone else but maybe it is fear of the unknown that I don't change......No. hang on. It's greed. lol. It is always on my mind to change though. Either work for someone else or maybe start a different business.....? Good luck to you Sun_Kissed.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Number two is already in the bag - just counting down now :) It doesn't matter if you work for yourself or someone else, if it's a drain on your life rather than a gift to to it, it's probably something you'll regret at some stage. I think we allow ourselves to be seduced by the idea that money is king. It's not. It's just a matter of how much courage we have to truly accept that. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Of course we'll always find something to regret. I find it thought-provoking though, that lots of dying people regretted the exact same things. It seems they are the big ones and therefore maybe the ones worth paying attention to now. I think we can all change a LOT more than we face up to. Change can be hard, and a little scary, and people tend to like ease and comfort. Perhaps we can't change everything, but still ...- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Breathtakingly simple yet so true, we are all the same, we are all different. My five for what they are worth? 1. Always have something to look forward too, big or small. It gives focus every day and makes the bad days a bit better. 2. I wish it didn't take so long for me to understand my parents, I wish it didn't take so long for my children to understand me. 3. Don't sacrifice for love who you are, for eventually you will lose yourself and your love. 4. The pursuit of money is not the same as the pursuit of happiness but it takes too long to separate the two. 5. Loyalty is a one way street if you give it unreservedly. Never trust an employers promise. Finally, Hope. Keep believing in yourself, keep giving despite getting nothing in return, be true to yourself.
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RHP User
12 years ago
1,2,3 & 5 I am happy with, it would be 3 that would be my regret. It just sometimes easier to bottle them up
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'JayJay_66' There are some things that are out of your control and you cant change, therefore you may always feel regretful that nothing will change that. Like meeting the "right" person at the "wrong" time Fact is we will always find something that we feel we could have done better...differently...I have no regrets and do not fear dying.I've done the best I can.FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
1. I like to think I do, if I'm not it's only myself that's being let down.2. Gave up the physical work / long hours when I was mid 30's. Used to be a blue collar unskilled worker. I got sick and tired of saying I was sick and tired so changed a few things. I work to live not the other way round.3. I'd like more people to be upfront regarding this. Most people accept your position on things if they know it. 4. Friends a.k.a mates. For me it ties into 1 & 3, a friend will tell you what you want to hear, a mate will tell you what you need to hear. 5. Every day is a bonus, life's short. I don't mind having a bitch or whinge but in reality we live a pretty good lifestyle
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RHP User
12 years ago
I can so relate to what you are saying. In January this year, I closed my 2 businesses and got my life back. It's been bloody hard! It's been incredibly confronting. It's been sooo worth it! Sun kissed - over the course of the past two years I've embraced everything on that list of five. I am happier, more balanced and more in love with my life as a result, than I've ever been before.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Now that's inspiring!- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I know that feeling of happiest ever been. Even tho I have some pretty crappy days, I am the happiest I have ever ever been. I feel empowered. I do have a tough road ahead of me (in the next few moths), daughter off to India/empty nest syndrome Blah blah ..but the thing I look forward to is the world being my oyster and start of new path. Happy days. FOXY - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm really trying, persevering, struggling and indulging in the soul satisfying joy of following your own intuition and passions. Handing myself over to my own fate and dealing with the consequences as best I can. For better or worse. If it was easy everyone could do it that way. As a couple of people have mentioned here. That's why I quoted Tropic of Cancer in my profile.I hope my last breath passes through a smile. A cheeky one. Cheers to Edith Piaf.
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RHP User
12 years ago
We will all die with regrets... we may not realise them until the last moments but there will be some. The "what could have been" will always creep in to our thoughts. The most important thing is if you identify them early, don't dwell on them and work to improve ourselves or change our circumstances so they aren't such large regrets when you get to the end of your time. Foxy, you are an inspiration ;)Number 2 and 5 on your list OP are my biggest to date and I am changing both for the better. Joined RHP and am making amazing friends which in turn makes me happier and after my current project finishes at work I've told the boss that is it, no more stupid work hours.In addition I have the regret that JayJay has noted of meeting the "right" person at the "wrong" time... I helped Ms Right get married to a Mr Right and they have a very happy life together. Mrs Right has on occasion expressed her wonder at "what could have been" and I keep telling her to not regret what may have been and focus on what is and will be as they are still incredibly in love after nearly 20 years together (a rare commodity).SG
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madotara69
12 years ago
I think we will be relying on a lifetime of memories. Best to create as many good ones for those days, that's the plan.Mado, Tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
updated
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S_W_A_G_G_E_R
12 years ago
number one: I regret having my first cigarette, and every one after that. number two:I regret not being strong enough to spend time with my grandparents in the last few months of there lives. Then sun kissed's one, three, and five.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I would imagine the one regret would be that you are dying? ;-)- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Feels like more than a life-time? Has it always been this way? Could it have ever been different? .No need to segment one-self about how things were. They were right purely because that's how things turned out..If feeling there's in-completions, remember 'everything' you start is in-complete until completed.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I would have no regrets...I have lived my life according to me...I have enough...but there is just one thing that I have never found,but you can't regret something you never had.
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Tall74nHard9
12 years ago
has something to do with the age of the people concerned at the timing of their passing. Whilst the examples you have given may be nearly universal for many, if you ask younger people versus older ones, I think you may well get some different responses. For example, if you asked a 20 something who had been severely injured in some form of accident and there was no chance of saving them, would their replies necessarily be the same ? I was very close to this situation in 2000. I had been diagnosed with the rarest and deadliest form of leukaemia for my age group. The specialist told me I could realistically look forward to maybe 4 to 5 years with the medication that was available at the time. I was only 42 at the time. I was still married, had three kids still at school, paying off a mortgage. Oddly, it was my wife who actually 'fell apart' at the time - I was not happy about what I was told, but I was equally at peace with the possibility. The things that immediately came to mind, for me, was that I would not see my kids growing up, seeing how they would progress in life. Also how my wife to fend for herself, as she was not really able to properly prioritize what had to be done in daily life. My parents were both alive at the time, and I was imagining what sort of impact it would have on them - no parent likes to bury one of their kids, regardless of age. I am the eldest of three children, and the younger ones usually look up to the elder for experience. All sorts of things you think through that you normally wouldn't think twice about. So I guess whilst the list you have put up may be true for example for someone who may have already lived a 'full life', there certainly are other areas to consider depending on your age and circumstances. Tall
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On_Safari
12 years ago
1. I wish I had loved myself more. 2. I wish I had broken free of the Golden Handcuffs sooner. 3. I wish I hadn't surrounded myself with so much shit. 4. I wish we'd met decades ago. 5. I wish I knew then what I know now. 1. I'm thankful that I have known love. 2. Like Kale I now have the opportunity to learn, grow and evolve into someone truly at peace and happy within : that's success. 3. I can be thankful for the shit in my life because without it I would perhaps not be as strong or as beautiful as I am learning to know myself to be. 4. I still wish we'd met decades ago but having you while I did was priceless and you taught me to think, feel and view life differently. 5. And I'm learning that imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand. Albert Einstein was a wise man. 6. I am yet to understand that God resides within me and I am my own temple but I still have time. 7. I am thankful for the Kindred Spirits in my life and for my beautiful children. AND what do you know? I actually have more to be thankful for than I do regrets.....thanks OP because I may not have known that had you not made me think. ~ Indy still on my life's mission. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Amazing coincidence as I have been reading this book on and off over the last three months. This morning before I logged onto here, I picked it up again after about 3 weeks and read another 30 pages. Some really moving stuff that brought me to tears again. The concept of dying with no regrets is something that has become very central to my thinking in the last couple of years.there is no way I could die peacefully tomorrow. And to be honest, the regret is what has brought me to question my long term monogamy and brought me to rhp. Not sure if this site is right for us but you can only try.Of course no one wants to die but to those who have said they can die happy tomorrow, I believe you have given yourself the greatest gift you can and I truly envy you. The book is definitely worth a read.
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smo669
12 years ago
Wish I fucked that hot little thing up the street when I had the chance.....
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RHP User
12 years ago
"Man surprised me most about humanity. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived." The Dalai Lama.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I heard a friend of his say..You Westerners have this amazing karma,you have everything,and yet,you do not have the karma to enjoy it.
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RHP User
12 years ago
An understanding and appreciation of the concept of being privileged would go a long way IMO.
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RHP User
12 years ago
And no doubt will at the end of my life, because I am only one person and I can't be in more than one place at the one time. I don't regret having the courage to throw caution to the wind and go off on adventures. I don't regret speaking my truth even when it didn't win me friends. I would like to believe a little more in the possibility of still meeting mr right at the right time. Thanks sun-kissed. You're a soulful and insightful woman and I enjoy your contributions to the forums.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Interesting, I love my music. Regrets, brings up for me another song that was brought up on another of your threads Sun_Kissed.. Regrets, I've had a few But then again, too few to mention I did what I had to do , I saw it through without exemption I planned each charted course, each careful step along the highway And more, much more than this, I did it my way.1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. (1) I think I've done what I needed, to survive... and finally, thrive. . 2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. (2) That's a big meh. . 3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. (3) No problem there, now if I could just refine my skills regarding delivery... . 4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. (and family?) (4) Yah well, there will be some regrets there, some I let drift off, some beyond my control, some I am well better off without, but I haven't come across any of that sort for many years now. . 5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. (5) We make big and small decisions every day towards possible future happiness, I like to think I do okay, but could do better. .So, not a lot of changes that I am consciously aware of, that I feel I can make happen.
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