M57 F57
To Reply or Not to Reply, that is the question.
December 05 2011
Comments
-
contemplating1
14 years ago
Hi there.... Well to me, if its a "genuine" message where someone has taken the time to read your profile, (and fits it) and has put an effort in to contact you......I would think it is poor form not to at least give even a short response...... Otherwise whats the point in hanging out your shingle? LoL ....Or is that my private school upbringing coming out as well! Take care & have a good 'un!
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Costs you nothing to be polite and respond with respect. It leaves you feeling better about yourself. Rude and hurtful messages (or no reply) could spoil someone's day and Self Esteem is a fragile thing.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Reply unless they are outside of your criteria. If they contact you and are outside of your criteria they did not take the time to read your profile and therefore are not worth the time to respond. If they are inside criteria and are genuine a thanks but no thanks worded politely is what I would prefer. We prefer to know if someone is interested or not so we can block and no longer waste any time or attention on those people. The blocking may sound harsh but if nothing is there then why leave it open. It's more fair on the people involved. If they can't take a polite no thanks then this is not the scene for them and thats not your fault.
-
LoveFrenzy
14 years ago
Blocking does seem a bit harsh...By the way the public school upbringing bit was very much meant tongue in cheek!
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Blocking does sound harsh at first. But in the end if you have no intention of making further contact with a profile or perhaps even the another way around and it's a profile that has rejected you, then blocking saves either side stumbling on one another again down the track only to have the same outcome. It's easy to forget who's who after you have been on here for a while and corresponded with a high number of people. So in a sense, we are not blocking people to be rude or hostile, just as a part of correspondence management.We respond to all initial messages. Given it's written in our profile that we will reply to all messages. If the reply is a rejection and they are persistent after that then our courtesy ends there.No one wants to send a message only to be completely ignored, even if you set up a template reply for rejections it's not that hard.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Yeah admittedly it may seem harsh I do agree but if they aren't interested we don't really want them checking out our profile 1 million times a day after the fact and really any further contact. And trust me it happens with those we knock back and those who have knocked us back and it's mildly distracting and mildly annoying. On either of these occasions we wish them well and good luck on the site then block them. It does not upset us or anything that's just our reasoning. We just prefer to find out what's up and move along. Another thing is people who change their minds then expect we are still interested which has happened 2 or 3 times over the years. If people tell us we aren't their type, then all of a sudden we are we don't want to know about them. But that's just us..... Different strokes rule the world.... Lol
-
RHP User
14 years ago
We were just joking on the public school stuff too lol it's all good.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Hey Krissy_G, looks like you need some tongue in your cheeks to work off some of that aggression.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
All this talk of tongue in cheek, and there's Krissy_G bending over and offering her amazing cheeks, and LoveFrenzy squating and spreading her legs...damn, I got to get laid. Where can I find a naughty public school girl?
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I know i personally would like just a simple "Sorry your not what im looking for." It doesnt have to go beyond that. Then i know that you have got and read the message and to move on. And if people cant handle a simple choice of free will then they are not worth the further communication anyway.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
We always reply to all messages and winks.. if we are busy we say "sorry we are busy" if their not our type ...yep you guessed it "sorry you arnt what we are looking for " why play games and let people wonder ? Ok if they keep messaging and are too far away or too scarey, its block time. Saves finding them again in 6 months and wasting everyones time... be nice, be HONEST. Bernie
-
LoveFrenzy
14 years ago
Quoting 'femfuckpal' All this talk of tongue in cheek, and there's Krissy_G bending over and offering her amazing cheeks, and LoveFrenzy squating and spreading her legs...damn, I got to get laid. Where can I find a naughty public school girl? No wonder they always taught us to keep our knees together! Better cool you down a bit a change the picture.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
and I do so to all flrts and messgaes. Well the first ones anyway. If I reply in the negative and the person refuses to take no for an answer then there is normally a firmly worded message sent back and the person will be blocked. That is because some people tend to take a "no" personally (I guess it is personal when you think about it) and get all nasty about it. If I send a man a flirt or message then I do like a reply...even if the answer is no.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
What you might say no to today, you could say yes to in the future. . If you reject someone today, they will remember in future and I know we would have a hard job / mental block to playing with someone who has rejected us. Its as if we would be 2 nd choice.....no thanks. . By rejecting them today you are in fact rejecting them for life. . Its quite common to send 10 messages plus and no replies and in the future you cant remember who replied and who didnt. . Consider: Rejection the door is permenantly shut. No reply....will they remember??, ......what no reply, we cannot recieving your message must have been a bug in the system???? . Do you really know what you may want in the future and want to burn bridges by rejection?
-
RHP User
14 years ago
We do always try to reply (sometimes it may be a few days later)....And the unfortunate thing is that we have to usually reply 'thanks but no thanks' way more then we can sent back a positive reply! Mich x
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Wether you reply or not it sends the same message, that is you are not interested. However I have more respect for women who reply with a no thanks message than the women who don't reply at all. On the other hand, women have stated in other forum topics that they no longer reply because they are sick of being abused which is fair enough. Unfortunately, some guys seem to think that because a woman ticks all the boxes as far as they are concerned, then they tick all the boxes as far as the woman is concerned and won't take no for an answer.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
As it happens I was educated at an english public school from age 4 until Uni time. (Called Public by Henry VII and VIII or 6 wives fame - called public as they took education out of the castles of nobility and into the masses who could afford to pay) Despite my 24x7 upbringing I would hope that I would respond to EVERY message. Out of respect, of kindness and even in some cases a shared laugh. Not only that - but apparent random messages - have resulted in two unexpected plays. (Although I prefer one play mate to focus on. RHP is quite an education in the last 6 weeks. So REPLY REPLY REPLY REPLY REPLY REPLY REPLY REPLY
-
RHP User
14 years ago
LoveFrenzy, Hot damn woman, but you have legggsss!!! I'm burning up.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
My mother brought me up to be polite, sure this a sex website, however it costs nothing to reply and say thanks for the message your not what Im looking for. Or something similiar, sometimes if its a flirt and they dont take my fancy I will use the no probably because I am busy. I have made some nice friends on here from all over Australia and look forward to meeting up with some of them the next time I am travelling. These are people who have messaged me and we have talked over a period of time, several I have caught up with. Cheers
-
LoveFrenzy
14 years ago
Quoting 'justenough' Consider: Rejection the door is permenantly shut. No reply....will they remember??, ......what no reply, we cannot recieving your message must have been a bug in the system???? . Do you really know what you may want in the future and want to burn bridges by rejection? Mr L writing here and this was my point from the outset. Replying to messages is all well and good and very polite, but once we have rejected someone they are gone for good (and they don't forget it). Often rejection is based on the judgement of a photo, but in real life that person might have a very sexy charismatic character and when we meet then at a party or a club our opinion may be quite different.Knowing what to do and also not hurting peoples' feelings is a tough call.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
To be honest if people don't reply we pretty much assume they aren't interested in a week, remove ph access and just never bother with them. We don't block them but we are VERY unlikely to meet people who take a month to reply if we can see they are online and read our messages way back then. It's pretty much the same thing to us if not more annoying. No reply is like saying someone is your plan b and no one wants to be a plan b.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ExploreFun' .... I would hope that I would respond to EVERY message. Out of respect, of kindness and even in some cases a shared laugh. ....so you respond to every message???
-
RHP User
14 years ago
We send lots of messages to couples whom we like the look of and enjoy reading their profile etc , and yes we prefer to at least get a message back saying thanks Yes ot thanks No , if we get a no , then we can move on insteading of waiting or sending a follow up message , at least we are not wasting other peoples time or ours
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Thinking of upgrading soon. Definitely appreciate a reply. A "thanks but you're not what we're after" is nicer than "we're ignoring your existence". I can appreciate it might become a hassle if you're getting a lot pf unwarranted attention, but getting the hint straight away is easier than waiting hopefully for a week.
-
tomrach79
14 years ago
We will always respond to people that read our profile. Even if someone we aren't looking for contacts us and sends a personalized message and not a stock standard message they will get a reply. we expect the same. Stock standards from people we clearly aren't looking for and haven't bothered reading our profile will get ignored. Xx
-
tomrach79
14 years ago
We will always respond to people that read our profile. Even if someone we aren't looking for contacts us and sends a personalized message and not a stock standard message they will get a reply. we expect the same. Stock standards from people we clearly aren't looking for and haven't bothered reading our profile will get ignored. Xx
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Recently we received two messages from people who were interested in meeting us, we took the time to reply and signal our interest yet no reply at all, nothing, zilch.So we wonder, why take the time to message people in the first place, illicit a response from them and just drop it like a hot potato.We try and do reply to all messages, even if it is a polite 'NO' but some are just content to read a message and ignore it.BTW, one of these has done it twice so they are now off the Chrissy list for sure and Mrs. Ty is a delight in her santa's helper costume.
-
RHP User
14 years ago
When we message the reply rate we get is nothing like what is suggested in this thread. We conclude our introduction skills must be terrible....way below avearge or? What makes the difference? When the person was last on line? Have people found a defference in reply rates to the "last on stats" Today this week Over a month???....dont bother? matching profiles? photo of both?
-
RHP User
14 years ago
The world of RHP really is a funny one that's for sure.If you tyred to put reason to why people act the way they do you will just end up confused and frustrated.One would like to think people would act the same here as they do in public treating people with respect and following some kind of social normality in regards to replies to messages or communication in general.There is most likely 1000 of reasons why you have to deal with the strange behaviour.But Being trying to narrow down the real reason or make some one accountable for it isn't going to work .Yes it is frustrating when you treat people normal and want to find others that do the same but sadly its just something you have to deal with from time to time on RHP. Just have a laugh and move on.Classic example just this week. There a single girl (verified profile) and platinum member she has sent us a wink a few months back. i think we exchanged a few messages and then PG's.i think at the time we just left it in her hands if she wanted to take things further.Just this week She keeps sending us chat requests several times a day. Every time we open her chat requests she doesn't enter the room or say anything. So after several days of this and 10 or more chat requests where she dose the same dam thing. We send her a message. Saying your chats are not working and happy to communicate here bla bl bla giving her the benefit of the doubt. She reads the message and then sends another dam chat request and its the same result . After she sends two more silly chat requests. I send another message. Basically saying hey your chat requests are not working or your playing games with us. Respond to this message or we will take it your just playing games. She reads the message and no response si I just hit the block button.Some people are just strange. but that Block button is so handy LOLTim
-
RHP User
14 years ago
But not anymore, Its rude in my opinion but I just dont let it bother me. Had a nice email exhxhange with a lady the other day. She said I was not what she was looking for so I replied thanks for replying - we ended up exhchainging about 20 emails about RHP and life in general, was cool. So a No doesnt necessarliy have to be negative I guess is what i am sayng :)
-
RHP User
14 years ago
People who don’t reply to a message after someone has gone to the trouble of sending it are just RUDE. We rather people just say “no” even without a reason at least you know where you stand. We answer every message sent to us, but we do get hit on by a lot of single straight guys don’t know why as we wanted single bi-guys... But we still just send back and say “No” thanks...
-
RHP User
14 years ago
I find this quite interesting, 99% consider its rude not to reply to messages, but go the next step and meet and am sure we have all had the hug and kiss bye and words said "we will be in touch" Then nothing, we are meant to be mind readers. I wonder how many times neither get in touch waiting for the other....and the oppurtunity is gone? Plus how many times have you approached after a meeting and then told "No" which is fine, but were they going to tell if you didnt ask? Why dont people consider it not rude and acceptable , not to let people know after meeting? I think we are bit more laid back, we dont consider it rude not to reply to messages unless its in the positive. It does not worry us if we dont get a reply, we feel others dont have to offer a explanation if it does not suit at that point in time. Rejection will shut the door forever.....If someone rejects us we remember and if they approach us again after some period of time.....Our opening responce is: You rejected us previously whats changed?
-
RHP User
14 years ago
Yes we have to agree with you justenough, we have met a few couples and singles for coffee and a chat, but if we are unsure or down think they are right for us we always let them know by sms, in saying that we have had people we liked and wanted to meet up with again that never contacted us to say they are not intrested.. But what realy pisses us off is people who arrange to meet and don't show but we are not the only ones in that boat!!! We are finding a little to hard so we may be going to let our membership come to a close and go back to just us.........
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15108 Comments: 88190
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1417 Comments: 10248
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2519 Comments: 11676
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2506 Comments: 9776
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 1003 Comments: 5179
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1303 Comments: 5785
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 781 Comments: 1992
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 869
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share