M40
To bi or not to bi...that is the question
August 28 2016
Comments
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Tall74nHard9
9 years ago
the very nature of the expression of your question, you are automatically making it a sexual based issue. The term itself - 'bisexual' - is inferring the sexual component of a person and who they are attracted to sexually. What I believe you are attempting to ask relates more to the social level of people. And that will depend entirely on the individual themselves. Some people will be reasonably comfortable with others of mixed orientations, whilst others won't. And that doesn't just relate to straight people - that can just as easily be inferred to gay / lesbian individuals who also do not wish to mix with others. There is no 'blanket' answer - just as in life in so many other aspects, it all boils down to the individual. Tall
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Unfortunately bi men are far less respected than all the sexual preferences. Bi women are most respected. Up close behind are gay women and then gay men. Fortunately, there are women that embrace it, some prefer bi men. You are in the right place to meet them here on RHP. Here you can be up front and honest. I no longer feel like i have leprosy.
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RHP User
9 years ago
My feelings exactly, honestly all the way ... Be up front about your sexuality all the way, The Seeker you would be surprised how many ladies on this site would be up to being with a bi guy
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RHP User
9 years ago
I understand where you are coming from...I did make it about sexuality... My point of view was hard to get out the right way - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Ladies, I like your way of thinking! Do straight women realise that there are another three billion women in the world, plenty of options for their men to cheat without the added addition of bi guys It's all about honesty and commitment - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I don't mind bi guys , i dont' go out of my way to look specifically for that but it just doesn't bother me either way. I don't think they are more likely to cheat and I'd be cool with it within a relationship though would expect monogamy unless otherwise discussed
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm more than happy to join u with whomever u feel would be "fun" mmmm just say where and when.....but first we need to be able to see each other's profile.....please....😉😉 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'd date a bi guy and in fact would prefer a guy who's at least heteroflexible when it comes to sex. As far as we've come with some aspects, unfortunately we're still quite a conservative society when it comes to sex and relationships (am talking in general terms here). Anything that differs from the heterosexual monogamous partnership is viewed as controversial, I think that will change but it's a pretty slow process. Particularly when it comes to bi men, who unfairly have a bad rep based on a lot of assumptions and ignorance.
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RHP User
9 years ago
"saying that a bi person has more opportunity to cheat?" because if we say there is a certain base percentage of people per sex that we're attracted to and may cheat on someone with, then because you're bi, thats a larger population and higher likelihood of encountering said opportunities. I don't see it as saying bi people are worse than straight or gay, it's just increased likelihood based on mathematics. (I do agree with what Annie said w.r.t. bi-men vs gay/straight men and gay/straight/bi women)
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RHP User
9 years ago
As a bi person you can be like any straight person and be committed to a relationship. I think what the issue sometimes is is that person you are with feels that you have the need or desire toward both gender.... If I am with a woman, she worries that she can not satisfy my desire to be with another bloke..... or if I was with a bloke, he can not satisfy my desire to be with a woman. Regardless of my faithfulness, their only one gender, so there for they will wonder.... "If I am a woman, How can I ratify his want for cock .... or if I a bloke, "how can I ratify his need for pussy"
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RHP User
9 years ago
I don't get why people worry how they are judged by others in terms of sexuality. I mean with over 7 billion people in the world if someone deems you unworthy would you just move on? I understand if you are fired from a job or discriminated against but in terms of a woman or man not being interested in a relationship instead of trying to educate or change their "preference" wouldn't it just be better to move on and find someone that is interested? - Posted from rhpmobile
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boobsandbusted
9 years ago
And why is there a difference in respect between bi women and bi men , isn't it same same but different , - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Being bi doesn't mean you're more likely to cheat. Maybe they are more honest with themselves than most. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Explains it well. Seeing a guy with smaller cock, no six pack (whatever it may be) does not mean you go chasing every guy with a big cock or six pack...every relationship is different with what you decide are boundaries etc.....if you are a cheater you will cheat simples...no matter what your sexual orientation is. I like the idea of playing with a bisexual guy as the opportunity to add more playmates, explore new things just opens up immensely.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'seewhathappening' As a bi person you can be like any straight person and be committed to a relationship. I think what the issue sometimes is is that person you are with feels that you have the need or desire toward both gender.... If I am with a woman, she worries that she can not satisfy my desire to be with another bloke..... or if I was with a bloke, he can not satisfy my desire to be with a woman. Regardless of my faithfulness, their only one gender, so there for they will wonder.... "If I am a woman, How can I ratify his want for cock .... or if I a bloke, "how can I ratify his need for pussy" It is not your issue.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Have you been cheated on?
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RHP User
9 years ago
As I'm sure many on here are. And the answer is I can't satisfy that need but I also can't satisfy her need for a luxury yacht in the maldives for our holiday once a year. But I also don't distrust her and assume she's gonna cheat on me.
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TheAtomsOfLove
9 years ago
Hi folks, My wife and I are both bi. When I first came out I looked everywhere to try to find a resource to help me come to terms with my bisexuality. I thought I was alone and that there was something wrong with me. (Hey I grew up in the US Bible Belt give me a break!) When I found my wife and told her, she was not appalled but actually aroused by the idea of me being with another guy. To this day she still loves to watch me play with guys. For the past year we have been doing a podcast following our experiences being bisexual swingers. I'm not trying to write up a commercial but if you're interested look for us here: http://www.bythebi.com.au/ or find us on itunes/stitcher "By the Bi" and follow us on twitter @theatomsoflove.
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RHP User
9 years ago
So because of he higher numbers ( men and women being available to a bi guy/woman) that makes them more likely to be an uncommitted bitch or bastard? You have just answered my question. Bi people are treated differently when it comes to commitment due to being attracted to both sexes. Has nothing to do with them being nice people and trustworthy. Ok thanks for that - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Dah...it's hot when two bi girls get together, it's hot when two girls get togetherfullstop. But it's disgusting and hideous when two guys get together. How did you not know that 😂😂😂😂 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'theseeker_86' So because of he higher numbers ( men and women being available to a bi guy/woman) that makes them more likely to be an uncommitted bitch or bastard? You have just answered my question. Bi people are treated differently when it comes to commitment due to being attracted to both sexes. Has nothing to do with them being nice people and trustworthy. Ok thanks for that I was merely speaking to the "why do people think it is more likely", it doesn't say that a bi person is a better or worse person than someone else - but if that were the logic applied then one could argue that the bi person is being treated exactly the same as a non-bi person. It isn't saying that you personally will do something but as a model for people en masse, it seems fair to say that over the whole of a population, you could generalise a likelihood that someone would stray - call it the chance of cheating with a person. CoC per capita?So, lets treat everyone the same and say the CoC on a bi person is the same as a straight or gay person - but one has two populations their CoC is applied to. Now, looking at the small proportion of the population that isn't straight, the actual number determined by the CoC would likely wash down to quite small so it possibly isn't a difference in actual numbers to the numbers of a straight person. But people tend to be bad at actually evaluating numbers, in this case maybe they're just thinking "most of us only like 50%, but they want ALL OF The Things!!11!" But again, I'm just positing a model that people might apply to how things work, and whether or not it even worked in real life, it doesn't speak in absolutes and to what any specific individual would do.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I agree with what you said, in so far as that is probably at least partly what a lot of those who think bi people would be more likely to cheat do put it down to. I'd say there's also an aspect of 'they like men / women as well, I'm not a man / woman hence they would stray to find that side of things that I can't give them'. A couple people have mentioned that already.
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RHP User
9 years ago
But it doess sound to me that you are saying that bi people are cheating and non commital based on the simple fact that they are attracted to both sexes. No matter how you spin it your opinion shines through loud and clear. I respect your opinion But I definitely don't agree with it. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Because of the low numbers (straight people only being attracted to opposite sex) that their chances of straying are reduced...hmmm hence the high rates of divorce and so many people that "spouse jump" in society. In my opinion a lot of straight people don't even know what commitment is and are scared of it. The people that know what it is and want it gay/bi/ lesbian etc get shunned in society - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
I think you may be taking S on the looses comments too personally. He always seems to take things from a scientific view point. I can only speak from comments I have heard from girlfriends. Basically they can't compete with men and they don't believe a bi man will be satisfied with having sex with just one woman or women. I have also heard comments that some will not really believe you are bi - they will think deep down you are gay but will can't admit it to yourself. It's the same as men who love to date women who swing - but they would be never consider them as girlfriend material because they don't believe that they will ever be satisfied by one man. People want to feel like they are super special to their partner and I suppose some women would not feel that way if they thought their BF was also into guys Before you get annoyed with me theSeeker, you did ask for our opinions. Oh, and I am in a long term relationship with a bi-sexual man who will date will still hook up with the ocassionally guy and I am happy with that. But I met him within the sex club scene though so it's different.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Sexuality and faithfulness are not mathematical forms. So I have to disagree with you on this one.
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Tall74nHard9
9 years ago
Quoting 'unicorn99' Sexuality and faithfulness are not mathematical forms. So I have to disagree with you on this one. I would rephrase that slightly, as "sexuality and faithfulness are not mutually exclusive" .As I made mention in my opening, I believe it is down to the individual character of a person - some will, some won't.Tall
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'CandyDelicious' I think you may be taking S on the looses comments too personally. He always seems to take things from a scientific view point. I agree with this. You did ask why some people think that bi people are more likely to cheat, or why they wouldn't date a bi person, S has given you one possible reason. You're unlikely to get anyone who actually holds those opinions commenting on here because they know they'd get lynched. If you really don't want to hear the other viewpoints then you probably shouldn't ask the questions in the first place.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'theseeker_86'But it doess sound to me that you are saying that bi people are cheating and non commital based on the simple fact that they are attracted to both sexes. No matter how you spin it your opinion shines through loud and clear. I respect your opinion But I definitely don't agree with it. no matter how you spin it, you seem to fail at comprehension of what was said - so it's ok, you're not even disagreeing with my opinion/idea. In fact, I specifically did not make the argument that they are non-commital _because_ they are attracted to both genders. What I said deals only in terms of presented opportunities - if presented with more opportunities you would also expect to see a similar rise (pun intended) in absolute numbers of people straying. I argue that you would see this rise whether you were looking at gay, straight or bi people. Again, that is speaking about groups en masse - not about you specifically. Some people won't cheat, some people will if given the right opportunity. Quoting 'theseeker_86'Because of the low numbers (straight people only being attracted to opposite sex) that their chances of straying are reduced...hmmm hence the high rates of divorce and so many people that "spouse jump" in society. In my opinion a lot of straight people don't even know what commitment is and are scared of it. The people that know what it is and want it gay/bi/ lesbian etc get shunned in society I think your first sentence shows you've misunderstood what I was saying, and the second sentence is irrelevant to the argument. ~96% of the population identifies as straight, with gay and bisexual folk roughly splitting up the rest (women much more likely to identify as bi than men), and those sorts of general numbers hold true for everywhere I've seen stats for. Are those numbers debateable sure - but even if you give group a few extra percent, that 90 v 5 v 5, small numbers relative to the large group. Lets say we had a giant party "no partners allowed" mixer in a hotel for a sufficiently long time to spend a good deal of time hanging out with everyone - 100000 people, and the mix of men and women is 50/50 and it's that 96,2,2 mix. 96000 straight, (48k straight males (SM), 48k straight females (SF))2000 gay (1000 males (GM), 1000 female (GF))2000 bi (1000 males (BM), 1000 female (BF)) So, lets say we all mix, get to meet each other, and the drinks are flowing and inhibitions are low - how many opportunities does someone have? SM: 49000 (48k SF + 1K BF)GM: 1999 (999k GM + 1k BM)BM: 50999 (999k BM + 1k BF + 1k GM + 48k SF) so, look at the numbers: 49 v ~51, that isn't a huge difference. Which is what I was saying - people are generally shit at appreciating statistics and average person says "twice as many opportunities", when in truth the addition of gay and bi people is so small relative to the size of the overall pool that it doen't make much difference (which is what I referred to when I said it would wash down to not much, if any meaningful difference in actual numbers) My personal view is that people are people, and I don't think that gay or bi people are magical unicorns of virtue - they're people. People do things they shouldn't - not all of them, but some do. You seem to personally hold very strong views about this, so maybe you're in the group of people that don't cheat. I think I've gone out of my way to say that what I said isn't applied at the individual person scale, as a theory though you could apply it to a group. I've given you the theory some people might have, and I've also debunked that theory.Quoting 'unicorn99'Sexuality and faithfulness are not mathematical forms. So I have to disagree with you on this one. neither is public health, but epidemiology seems to work, similarly so do statistical maths and economics. Sufficiently large groups of people can be modelled, but the models break down when the group size gets sufficiently small. I'm not saying my model was great, it's intentionally super simple for a post on a *piano clang* sex forum ;)
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RHP User
9 years ago
Have anything to do with whether or not a person can make a commitment to another? According to some Swedish research a few years ago there is a monogamy gene but its rare and only exists in men. There is also evidence to suggest,via DNA tests that up to 25per cent of us have a different biological father than the one we think we have Q
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RHP User
9 years ago
I don't personally think you should have to label yourself as anything, on here if you lie guys, put bi if they don't like it, you won't be happy long te anyway,,, I personally don't worry too much about what other people think and say about me, I am me and the right people will love me for who I am, in saying that as a bi sexual girl I did let my bf know that o would like for us to play with a girl at some point ;) - Posted from rhpmobile
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