M56 F51
Understanding social reaction to body odour
May 16 2017
Comments
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MsJonesy
9 years ago
Maybe its caused by a medical condition (or medicine/s) and there is nothing he can do about it. 😞
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rupamohan
9 years ago
Thanks for responding but I want to understand about behaviour of his near ones. Reasons of odour and what to do in work place is well discussed online and are easy to find out.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I used to work with a guy who would reek of bo while his hair was still wet from the shower, another I shared a house with was a vegetarian, who would pass you in the hallway with only a towel on and smell of cabbage. Some people just do. Funny aside, the vegetarian used to leave notes on the blackboard like "you are what you eat". When I ran a boat building team we had a smelly guy, no one would work with stinky Steve, so I just told him to his face, turns out he showered daily but it was his work clothes that needed a good wash. Problem solved.
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Seachange73
9 years ago
There are a lot of assumptions there. All hypothetical of course. Like MsJonesy said, it could be a medical problem. U know that certain people emit certain odours due to their diet like different spices, vegetables, etc that affects their acidity and odour of their sweat and smell/texture of their faeces and gases. We had a couple of people with same issues as you mentioned. I bet you.that he knows about it and may be ashamed about it. And he probably doesn't know what to do with it. Do we need to shame him more or be compassionate and help him out. I wonder which is more constructive and kind? but I find it offensive, shameful and disgraceful for people to skirt around the issue and leave a can of deodorant or soap on their desk. If I was that person, I would appreciate to have people be honest woth me and have compassion rather make fun of the situation. maybe people should walk in his shoes to understand. It would be a magnanimous man/woman to go up to him and chat discreetly and with tact on how to help him rather than make fun of him and make assumptions. So what did your husband do? 😎
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RHP User
9 years ago
I worked with a man like this, and his job was to go desk to desk and sit with people to help them with their work. He was a technical trainer. The smell of BO was overwhelming. A number of staff made complaints, one left a can of deodorant on his desk. Eventually the manager called him aside quietly and spoke to him about it. But it wasn't just body odour it was foul breath. He knew he smelt. But he didn't agree with masking the natural odour a body makes. And people should feel comfortable to smell how nature intended. So his was a situation that was by choice. People started to refuse to work with him, but being a government agency there wasn't a lot they could do.
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RHP User
9 years ago
they are too embarrassed to raise it with him it took me months to raise it with an ex partner
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RHP User
9 years ago
There is no one answer ...there are many and varied reasons as to why someone may have body odour. It's one of those taboo topics that makes others uncomfortable,that's why they either avoid it completely or leave soap.deodorant "hints"on their desk..Whether or not someone is prepared to broach the subject will depend on their relationship with the person...in the workplace a supervisor maybe the most appropriate person to raise the issue..BUT they have to be careful to not putting themselves in a position where they could be accused of harassment.Q
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RHP User
9 years ago
If I had a smelly trainer who kept sitting next to me I would be making the complaint !
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RHP User
9 years ago
I worked for someone like that once, he and his wife loved the natural smell of the body and never used deodorant or any perfumes etc he was an older man but was passionate when he spoke about it, believed the body and it's odours were something to be cherished. Have to admit, I'm like that after sex, I like to carry on my day with the smells of sex on me. I also agree with other comments regarding associated issues which can cause body odour, hormonal is a big one, teenage boys are a perfect example, no amount of deodorant can mask the smell sometimes, then all of a sudden, they grow out of it, hormones settle down, skin improves also, re acne, and it's no longer an issue. I'm now menopausal and I put deodorant on all day, at least 10 times or more, and still I sweat under the arms, because I'm always hot 😉 no I mean temperature wise 😂😂 medical issues, medications, hormones, very shaky ground to be telling someone they stink lol I did after my walk yesterday, I just hurried home 😊
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RHP User
9 years ago
I do agree the smell can be overwhelming. I was in close proximity to a couple in a shop yesterday who stunk and I could barely breath, I had to move away from them
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rupamohan
9 years ago
I am sorry I failed to explain what I am trying to ask. No I am not asking why people smell No I am not asking how to handle it. Answer to this can be found in many forums. I am asking assuming a person doesn't know he stinks and before it requires to be handled at work place. Why he is not being told by his near and dear ones about his problem much before it reaches workplace. Surely his dear ones are likely to be more open with him, spend greater time with him and in closer proximity. I hope this time I am able to explain what I want to know. Thanks
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RHP User
9 years ago
Depends if it's pure BO or lack of hygiene, or natural pheromones. People with similar pheromones (and immune systems) will seriously repel each other smell wise, when someone else will like it or not notice it.
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RHP User
9 years ago
You're still placing judgment on that person, brushing off key factors highlighted in comments given here, why do you assume he doesn't use deodorant, or assume he never showers, that he has poor hygiene? Perhaps the family know he showers and uses deodorant, then what should they be saying to him? You need to consider all of these possibilities before casting judgment. Bit harsh to be doing that without knowing the personal or individual situation. Some races for example, giveboff a strong odour to us, their own race wouldn't notice it, similar to what ct pointed out above 😃
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
You have a specific question about what his family and close friends thinks about the problem and why haven't they had the talk? How long is a piece of string? It can't be answered by anyone else but them. People have offered thoughts about their experiences but you have rejected them as not specific enough So.........ask the people concerned. Otherwise it is pure conjecture. If l was to provide my thoughts, perhaps the whole family stink. There. Question answered
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RHP User
9 years ago
My guy stinky Steve lived alone as do many men, so nobody to give them a nudge, I tell my kids when they are whiffy or have bad breath, better me than school kids, they're mean !
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Seachange73
9 years ago
I.have a feeling you want to hear a specific answer that aligns with your thoughts. What do you want to hear and/or want us to confirm with you? Maybe you can share it with us. Just to clarify your position or intent. I'm not so sure where we are heading with this thread and so are many seems to be on same boat. A little help? Thanks.
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rupamohan
9 years ago
I feel my second post is clear enough though first was also not that unclear. It can't be made more clear moreover I am satisfied with the response after 2nd post.Nothing more to add from my side even if you try to help me by feeding in my mouth. But thanks for your efforts and saying it also on behalf of others. Ok now let me recap for you..I am getting the expected response and I believe I can't make it more clear.However I can't force all to understand me correctly. Nor can I force them to stick to agenda. At the end people respond the way want to...it is that SIMPLEThanks again for all your efforts to Help !!! Quoting 'lilyorchid' I.have a feeling you want to hear a specific answer that aligns with your thoughts. What do you want to hear and/or want us to confirm with you? Maybe you can share it with us. Just to clarify your position or intent. I'm not so sure where we are heading with this thread and so are many seems to be on same boat. A little help? Thanks.
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rupamohan
9 years ago
Quoting 'AnnieWhichway' You have a specific question about what his family and close friends thinks about the problem and why haven't they had the talk? Correct How long is a piece of string? It can't be answered by anyone else but them. Not necessarily. You don't have to experience everything first hand to guess outcomes. Moreover someone here may had the exact experience and could share why their family member never reported to them.People have offered thoughts about their experiences but you have rejected them as not specific enough NO some people have NOT offered thoughts about their experiences related to agenda. And yes an agenda is clear and specific. How close are some one to the agenda is a perception. What you think is not enough I may think is no way near. No I haven't rejected but I have shown disinterest because it doesn't add much value and distracts the focus. I am still happy to hear but you must understand I can hear it in tons of other forums loud and clear. The particular agenda was selected because i couldn't see at other places. So.........ask the people concerned. Otherwise it is pure conjecture. Sure it is up to people who reply to share if they are sharing experience or opinion. I am fine with any. However I am not specific to who should respond so long they are specific to agenda..SIMPLE If l was to provide my thoughts, perhaps the whole family stink. Yes Finally a point matching with the agenda. Thanks There. Question answered
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RHP User
9 years ago
How rude, I'm out 😏
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RHP User
9 years ago
Damn, we got the answer wrong. You lot would be useless at a quiz night 😏 Can we phone a friend? 📱
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RHP User
9 years ago
just closing the door on my way out now 😉
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Seachange73
9 years ago
Your last post confirmed to me my thoughts. Your assumption of close family n friends not telling him he stinks may not be valid. He may not have friends. E.g. He just moved from India or USA for work scenario He may not have family around. Or have family. But may not be close to them. They told him he smells but he may have medical condition? The list goes on... 😎 But you have ignored people's comments above as they try to contribute to the discussion because you want to hear something very specific to confirm your beliefs. I find your response/attitude very condescending as we are all trying to further understand and explore other aspects if the situation. I don't appreciate it that you try lecture us for not getting your point. But that is how I feel. Here's a point: maybe some reflection on how to engage us further into the discussion by acknowledging our contributions and replies and further articulating your questions. I'm out. Good luck. I.hope you find the answers you are looking for.
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Seachange73
9 years ago
It seems your questions are centred around a specific scenario or factors that you assumed were reasons for the poor man's BO issue. The nature of the forum is that we all think differently and bring a different slant to the equation. 😎 Whether that is helpful or not makes it evident upon discussion and the thread will naturally takes its course. Corralling us Rhp posters to not think beyond the box is a mighty ask and most of us are discreetly deviant from society's norm, hence we are here. most of the comments are really helpful to the discussion, IMO. So good luck with that. Maybe next time, to make it more specific to your needs, reformat your questions to specify clearly your working parameters, have answered to be boolean in nature (true or false) or multiple choice list. 😉 Rant over. Lol 😁
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'rupamohan' I am sorry I failed to explain what I am trying to ask. No I am not asking why people smell No I am not asking how to handle it. Answer to this can be found in many forums. I am asking assuming a person doesn't know he stinks and before it requires to be handled at work place. Why he is not being told by his near and dear ones about his problem much before it reaches workplace. Surely his dear ones are likely to be more open with him, spend greater time with him and in closer proximity. I hope this time I am able to explain what I want to know. Thanks I think I understand what it is you are hoping we will answer. But... A) Maybe they have no near and dearB) Maybe they don't see their near and dear oftenC) Maybe their near and dear try to be subtleD) Maybe their near and dear don't careE) Maybe their near and dear are the same So many maybes... It is something I have wondered about. Peachy
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RHP User
9 years ago
You must have given the correct answer. You win 3 million dollars 🎇🎉🎆
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RHP User
9 years ago
I forgot this was here... it was pretty clear what Rupomohan were asking wasn't it, really. I took it that they wanted to expand beyond what are usual answers and get to the heart of the matter as far as home environment went. Peachy... you don't need bank details for that 3 mill do you?
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