M59
Vanilla
December 04 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sex without kink. Vanilla's very nice, but it's the topping's and flavouring's that give it that something extra I'm not sure why the need to confide in a vanilla lifestyle, it's the perceived "normal" after all.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Tough question..... I think I understand Vanilla better than Kinky. Straight up sex and foreplay. One man one woman, usually in a relationship with each other. Positions may vary but variations like anal, strap ons and fisting are not a part of the equation. BDSM, water play, blood play, sounding, Shibari ........ All no goes, in fact they probably don't even know those things exist. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Taby_DK
12 years ago
To me vanilla = anyone who only has 'normal" sex and does nothing out of the ordinary and in no way does anything that can be classified as kinky. When I say 'normal sex' I mean standard positions, in your bed only sex. My friend is a classic example of what I call a vanilla. She has told me when we had a little too much wine together one night that her and her partner (have 2 kids together) only ever do it in bed and in 3 standard positions and that's it! She told me that her classification for kinky is giving him head or him going own on her and that she has wanted to try having sex on the rug in the lounge room but was too scared to. So yes my friend is an example of my definition of a vanilla but she is still one of the coolest chicks with attitude that you will ever meet. :) Taby xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
..with the lights out
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RHP User
12 years ago
orchid from Mexico...some people find the scent of vanilla intoxicating,but in the land of RHP ''vanilla '' is used as a derogatory term....kinky on the other hand in this subculture, is lauded and applauded.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Vanilla...... who knows. What you think is vanilla, your neighbour calls Belgian chocolate. So unless you're shagging your neighbour and realise you're just not compatible because she doesn't share your interest in goats and armpits...... who cares lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I've met some wonderful women over the last 4 years who have had stunted, unsatisfying, bland sex lives and yet together we have expanded our horizons... I believe the key is tenderness, trust, and maybe even love... Do you think that vanilla is prior experience or outlook ? Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
12 years ago
is just another label.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Rocknminx, they weren't so much confiding in vanilla, but were surprised at how much out there others are... After all just being here is waay more out there than mainstream... DG... "Goats and armpits"... From the guy who's standing there stroking his lizard... 😛😄 Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Is not a label, it a descriptive word. It's kind of interchangeable with mainstream, average, straight, conservative, unadventurous, etc. Well, I guess vanilla encompasses all those terms. What do I consider mainstream, average or everyday sex is where two people have sex, any position, I would include oral sex in that as well, maybe the odd blindfold or a little playful spank...... Any layers on top of this is adding spice. Some people like it and some people don't. Everyone has vanilla sex, the spice isn't every day.
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RHP User
12 years ago
In refuse to believe people don't have oral sex.... Cause that's just prudish. Although I suspect that there are lots of prudes around... I can't get my head around that.
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's anal sex become vanilla/mainstream with all those kids growing up watching porn?
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RHP User
12 years ago
.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
As a kid you hate Vanilla you want all the fancy / colourful stuff loaded with sugar as an adult vanilla is fine with a nice added topping..... its the topping that counts So what's yours ?
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RHP User
12 years ago
For someone that engages in oral will feel the people who don't are 'vanilla'. For someone that engages in anal will feel the people who don't are 'vanilla'. For someone that engages in (the list could go on forever) will feel the people who don't are 'vanilla'. But that is the opposite to HP's question. It's the 'self' label and it's a great question. How do we judge ourselves against others? Is it by what we know about? Some people have never heard about blood/fire/the list could go on forever/ play. Some who are 'adventurous' would still be considered vanilla compared to 'hard core' players. I feel we all have a bar we compare ourselves too. How high or how low that bar is dependant on knowledge. In most walks of our life. I do think it's a label as well as a descriptive word.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' In refuse to believe people don't have oral sex.... Cause that's just prudish. Although I suspect that there are lots of prudes around... I can't get my head around that. Me either, but I know plenty who don't. They giggle about people who have their "Brown Wings" and think it's about 1% of the population that do. And wouldn't know kink if it bit them on the arse.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I don't have many real life friends that I talk to about sex, so I don't have much basis to compare in terms of what is vanilla or not. Before coming on here and reading about how...ah...conservative some people's sex lives are, I probably would've included oral as being vanilla because it's something I've been doing since I was 17 and the few friends I have talked to do it as well, so I assumed it was pretty standard. Finding out that it isn't for many was a big surprise. So in general I suppose I see vanilla as being sex between two people only, with the 'standard' positions or maybe a few small variations, mostly in a bed but perhaps somewhere else fairly safe such as the shower or on the couch as a bit of variety. No toys involved, and vaginal penetration only. But even with that I could be being generous, e.g. with the positions would something like woman on top, or doggy, be vanilla? To me they are but for some people they might be rarely or never used and it's missionary only. It's so subjective and dependent on your own experiences and attitudes, which is why I don't really use the term much.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Considering what I know others do. But some would consider me a kinked up freakazoid compared to them. It's the level of the individual bar. Or are there terms I don't know about? Vanilla, Neapolitan, double choc chip? Let's invent a scale and add to the labels we all desperately want to shake off. Pfft.
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RHP User
12 years ago
You kinked up freakazoid Miss K, love that phrase. May I borrow it? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Love it !! 😄 The definition that I ended up tossing back to my friend was this: "I'm coming to the conclusion that vanilla isn't what you like or do... It's what you have in the box marked "do not open" In my mind it's what we refuse ourselves to experience that defines us... Sexually... " I've had partners who have almost headed for the door when I've brushed my finger gently around their anus... And I've had others ask me to be their first there... And I'm not talking 20 something's, I mean women in their 40s and 50s. Women who had never been touched there before, but who were open to pleasurable sensations, and I used anal sex as an eg but it can be anything... Hence my thoughts about vanilla not being what we do, but what we won't allow ourselves to do. Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
12 years ago
By your definition it's a constantly moving target? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Kaleidoscope' You kinked up freakazoid Miss K, love that phrase. May I borrow it? - Posted from rhpmobile You can own it. Full rights given. Will reply to HP tomorrow but i'm busy right now.... but have so much to say on the subject. Will check in tomoz x Off to my dalliance...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Freya77' orchid from Mexico...some people find the scent of vanilla intoxicating Tis my signature scent. Not just any vanilla will do it though - there is just the one particular vanilla that has an incredibly powerful intoxicating effect when it contacts my skin. Every single day, everywhere I go, people literally follow their noses to ask me what I'm wearing and where can they get it ... some people have gone to some pretty extraordinary lengths just to find out what it is.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Misskay... Sadly not much freakzoid happening down here... 😢😢 Kale, yes, you might have hit that nail on the head. Maybe that's what it is, nothing more than a moving target... Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
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him_and_me
12 years ago
Quoting 'Kaleidoscope' Positions may vary but variations like anal, strap ons and fisting are not a part of the equation. BDSM, water play, blood play, sounding, Shibari ........ All no goes, in fact they probably don't even know those things exist. So, I wonder, does that mean that just knowing about those things automatically precludes you from being vanilla? Is Vanilla a term that is only used by those who aren't 'vanilla'? It's an interestig idea. Yesterday I would have popped us happily in the Vanilla basket, but after reading some of the responses in here I'm not so sure. Like HP said, we're in here for a start... and we've done some of the things listed by various people (hoping to do more, though might steer clear of blood play etc.) I think probably it is a sliding scale (or moving target) and different people have different perceptions on the matter. A bit like beauty... everyone has their own idea of exactly what/who is beautiful and yet there those who many would be happy to agree are beautiful. So where does that leave him and me? What are we.? We're happy being us on this journey together. x Me
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RHP User
12 years ago
If an ice cream shop can't make a really good vanilla then the rest of the flavours are never going to be right either. ;-) You should always want to taste a wonderful vanilla regularly as a reference point for all the other flavours.
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wingman2014
12 years ago
Is common , garden variety sex. Standard and unimaginative. Usually between 2 people who have been influenced by conservative upbringing and don't know how or don't want to push boundaries. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Great analogy re the closed box. And agree it's a moving target. My ex and I were quite experimental and open to lots of things, but since being single and meeting lovers online, I've found that I've been open to try new things. Things that I thought would stay in that box till my dying day. And not necessarily because I didn't want to go there, just by simply being open to my lovers kinks as long as there is no harm to me. I've also asked lovers to do things that they have never done before. Yep, it's different strokes for different folks.
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RHP User
12 years ago
...Misskay, I trust that you had a nice night ;) Its funny, there's lots that I haven't done yet, that I want to try.Maybe I just need to actually goalset ? Lol.It would seem not in the moment enough, but Ill have to see what I can do... hp xoBecause you're worth it...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Number ONE priority would be to find out WHY she divulged this information... I am thinking you MAY have been SUpposed to ask.... "So.. FRIEND.. what do you WANT to do about it?""What can I do to help?" Jusgt a thought...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Mr Cavey... And to be sure, the question was and is very much on my lips... but at this point in time she is a penpal who resides in a galaxy far,far away However, she has been following this thread, as her and her husband are members of the pie fraternity, and that was what brought about her initial comment. And of course you are correct that thats what we are here for... to venture out of our caves and help our friends in need... hp xoBecause you're worth it...
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RHP User
12 years ago
You've touched on a point that I've often wondered about. How much are we influenced by the person we are with at the time. In my own life my ex wasn't what I'd call kinky, we never tried many things that I've since gone on to try and enjoy since seperating. Many probably wouldn't have thought our sex life was Vanilla because we frequently had sex in unusual places, loved sex outdoors, invited other men into our relationship and bed, and explored many fantasies by way of role play. Kinky is a moving target, it seems to be somewhere in the realm of the things we haven't yet tried. I think most on RHP probably don't think of themselves as either Vanilla nor kinky either. I prefer to think of it as variations on the way we express our sexuality. It's not set in concrete, it's not stagnant, it's not fixed. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Highpriority' Its funny, there's lots that I haven't done yet, that I want to try.Maybe I just need to actually goalset ? Lol.It would seem not in the moment enough, but Ill have to see what I can do... Yes you should think positively and set some goals. In the moment enough? Do you mean it would seem forced? What I've found works is to discuss fantasies with my lovers either by, message, phone or pillow talk. It's like setting a scene so you know next play some new fun will be had, great for building anticipation. Mmm. Ensure you discuss boundaries depending on the fantasy. Quoting 'Kaleidoscope' You've touched on a point that I've often wondered about. How much are we influenced by the person we are with at the time. Kinky is a moving target, it seems to be somewhere in the realm of the things we haven't yet tried. I think most on RHP probably don't think of themselves as either Vanilla nor kinky either. I prefer to think of it as variations on the way we express our sexuality. It's not set in concrete, it's not stagnant, it's not fixed. - Posted from rhpmobile The partner (and us) definitely influences it. No two partners are alike, I'm learning how many different 'things' float peoples boats on here. Couldn't agree more re things we haven't tried yet, although, thinking about it, I have done some things that I would definitely label as kinky.
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Fantasyplus
12 years ago
Over the last few years I have come to learn that I am "Kink" not "Vanilla" and I am "Rainbow" not "Beige"…. I'm happy to be a Kinky Rainbow and not Vanilla Beige (Jesus that even sounds dull and boring). My last FWB's partner was Vanilla. Missionary and in bed only! He is Kink…lets just say we not only christened their new bed, but their lounge, dining room table and shower….I wonder if he smiles when she sits down to eat dinner knowing what he did to me in that very spot? lol
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RHP User
12 years ago
The title says it all.. xx Because.. your worth it..
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RHP User
12 years ago
and it was 'beige'
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RHP User
12 years ago
Ms Mignon... hp xo Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Vanilla or 'normal sex' to me is... Any one on one sexThreesomes or moreVouyerism (for me giving a blow job in front of a group is no big deal and normal)PornSwinging BDSM or extreme fetishes are kink to me.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Kaleidoscope' Tough question..... I think I understand Vanilla better than Kinky. Straight up sex and foreplay. One man one woman, usually in a relationship with each other. Positions may vary but variations like anal, strap ons and fisting are not a part of the equation. BDSM, water play, blood play, sounding, Shibari ........ All no goes, in fact they probably don't even know those things exist. Agree!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Highpriority Kale, yes, you might have hit that nail on the head. Maybe that's what it is, nothing more than a moving target... So will a Vanilla sliding scale be next?
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Lovinit28andKC72
12 years ago
I want both, straight up sex, and the kink.....surely thats possible, I've not had it before but....ok maybe I just answered my own question....Damn it lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Could be ground zero with little or no oral and occasional toy use>>> consensual +1 play/some anal>>>swinging/bi couple play/light bdsm/cuckoldery/exibitionism>>> hard bdsm/humiliation/scat/fisting>>>>>>> I guess ending with snuff and self hypoxia... 😳😳😳😳😳😳 God !! It's a farking nightmare 👀 It's no wonder those dudes in lab coats are always bald ! I've really enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts, and I'm sure there's some more lurkers who have some thoughts to throw into the stew... I'm guessing that something like the Kinsey scale could be applied, with all the shortcomings that categorizing has... But in the end as long as people are enjoying what they give and receive... Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Vanilla isn't a bad term , its used to describe the basic version of something.. In I.T we say vanilla software meaning the unmodified original boring and buggy release lolIts used as a term in gaming also and in mechanics .. So I guess it just means the basic unedited and with no extra flavor or toppings lol Thing is though, vanilla beans are really expensive and taste a lot better than most flavors available ..
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RHP User
12 years ago
Vanilla, salty, eve a little bit of oyster - as long as it tastes good I'm cool!
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RHP User
12 years ago
I use it in many contexts to mean "standard", it's almost like the new generations term for "straight", "straight-laced" or "plain". For example, I have pics on here that are all facebook style, just my face or me in situations from travelling or nights out. Nothing RHP style with a headless body in underwear or anything provocative at all, so I refer to them as vanilla. Boo to labels, having said that, they can make identifying things much easier. Yay to language which is constantly evolving and shifting to fit what we need to express. Enjoy playing with our language, make words up, use them how you like, as long as the message is conveyed, you have communication success! x CT
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RHP User
12 years ago
Vanilla these days is as much a description as a put down. Ever since 'that book' came out every Tom's dick and Mary have been clamouring to outdo each other in the kink and look at me stakes IMO. Vanilla can be awesome and also kinky stuff that makes you blush just to think about it. Just depends on the partner and chemistry between you. Where do I draw the vanilla line? Not with vibes etc. (unless the lady intends to use on me) not with multiple partners, mor with the extreme end of things involving pain, humiliation etc. Even shibari is pretty mainstream these days it seems.
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RHP User
12 years ago
When we were kids and went to the shop for an icecream in a cone, we got a "plain one" but the actual flavour was vanilla.
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RHP User
12 years ago
As a crazy foodie and enthusiastic amateur chef, I can also say that Vanilla bean pods are one of the sexiest things in the world of food. Pricey, very gourmet, soft and pliable, smell like HEAVEN, full of beany goodness. Anyone who tastes MY vanilla knows there's nothing "vanilla" about it! x CT
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RHP User
12 years ago
All words can claim different meanings to different people. Jumbo shrimp can have more than one. Its how you perceive the words that gets you through things. No such a thing as one word, one meaning. Example: Sometimes 'No' means 'Yes' when your in certain sexual situations with persons you trust.
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RHP User
12 years ago
One hit wonders Anyone who ever fancied Madonna is kinky. Anyone who ever fancied Paul Simon is vanilla. Anyone who ever fancied Art Garfunkel, well, you're just a freak. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Mmmm why do people make such a big deal about vanilla sex honestly its an individual thing really! What I might regard kinky to some might be vanilla, I didn't realize it was a competition to see who was the least vanilla in bed.............sometimes the first kiss touch and feel of the person is the best feeling vanilla or not :-)
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RHP User
12 years ago
I love vanilla.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Vanilla sex is missionary sex for the sole purpose of reproducing. No oral or anal, just vaginal sex. Unfortunately that's what it was and is. Someone mentioned its the topping before, and thats exactly it. Bring what you like to put on top of the foundation of it - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Well think most people here would be into some kink or another, again its each persons perception of vanilla/kink. Having had vanilla sex up until 2 years age,,,and now having tried kink/bdsm,,,,,,,bring on kink.....mmm
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RHP User
12 years ago
= boring sex
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RHP User
12 years ago
Dickfullalove... I like other positions too, but I really luurve missionary... Deep, passionate kisses, I can watch her face, gaze into her eyes, lick and bite her ears, hold and finger her arse when she comes... 😈🚀😎 Not too many people don't like missionary... Just that other positions are great too for different reasons... hp xo 💌 In Melbourne for Xmas... wingman and playmate required... Apply within.
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him_and_me
12 years ago
Quoting 'Sailin_by' Anyone who ever fancied Art Garfunkel, well, you're just a freak. - Posted from rhpmobile I did... x Me
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Sailin_by' One hit wonders Anyone who ever fancied Madonna is kinky. Anyone who ever fancied Paul Simon is vanilla. Anyone who ever fancied Art Garfunkel, well, you're just a freak. - Posted from rhpmobile Ha ha - had to laff at that one.Who is tutti frutti then? Boy George? And yes, Madonna drove me crazy in my teens..
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Sailin_by' One hit wonders Anyone who ever fancied Madonna is kinky. Anyone who ever fancied Paul Simon is vanilla. Anyone who ever fancied Art Garfunkel, well, you're just a freak. - Posted from rhpmobile Or a kinked up freakazoid?
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RHP User
12 years ago
it's good with cake too.. and better with cherries, or choc drizzles or ice cream.. makes me shiver!!! ha! nibble nibble nom nom! :P - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'MissKay' Quoting 'Sailin_by' One hit wonders Anyone who ever fancied Madonna is kinky. Anyone who ever fancied Paul Simon is vanilla. Anyone who ever fancied Art Garfunkel, well, you're just a freak. - Posted from rhpmobile Or a kinked up freakazoid? as a kinked up freakazoid. Throw Boy George in the mix as well. They'd all be welcome to my party And don't EVER diss Simon and Garfunkel ...
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RHP User
12 years ago
Think back to 'rainbow' flavoured paddle pops. Now that you think of it, did they taste familiar, like something you vaguely recognised but couldn't quite place? That's right: vanilla. Marketing brilliance. *kapow* N_D
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'paint_me' I hereby label myself as a kinked up freakazoid. Throw Boy George in the mix as well. They'd all be welcome to my party And don't EVER diss Simon and Garfunkel ... Yey Team!
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