F40
Waiting 4 the right combo for group sex. What gives?
October 06 2017
Comments
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RHP User
8 years ago
If it stays as a fantasy, so be it, but I'm not lowering my standards for anyone. Been there, done that. It's quality over quantity for me from now on. And I'm very happy with my sex life, thank you very much. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I'm not talking about dropping your standards to none -- but having impossibly high stds were everything needs to be almost perfect. Is that really such a good thing? Never accepting less than the absolute ideal? And you're welcome.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Between time wasters, guys posing as a couple, and being picky... I'm frustrated as hell at the moment. We are no closer to finding anyone than we were months ago. It seems near impossible to talk to a couple AS a couple (it's always the guys and then their wives are permanently away or conveniently sick) , and Unicorns are as difficult to find as their name suggests. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Sawadee
8 years ago
I catch your drift... and I agree, you can certainly miss out on some great people by having too many barriers. I'm not saying you open the door to one and all.. Just relax your expectation and you might be surprised what you might find..
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AnnieWhichway
8 years ago
Sex is just that. Not a commitment. When I'm In the zone, I require just the basics, clean, smell nice, respectful, reasonably good looks etc. Good sex is all. Don't have to wake up with them. Hot sex with near strangers, you have that in common at least and there lies the minimum of connection. Not an everyday thing, just when you need that moment and is hot as fuck. Not something you can tell many people about, just your pie friends.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I’m ok with having barriers. I can’t / won’t have random sex with someone I have nothing in common with, or something more than just a physical attraction. No judgement at all on those who do enjoy that kind of thing, it’s jsut not my bag. If that means that some fantasies stay in the realm of fantasy that’d ok. I’d rather not compromise, and put myself in situations that make me feel anxious and uncomfortable just to tick off boxes on some sexual wish list.
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twowithnolimits
8 years ago
Congrats Candy on a balanced and reasonable argument! Perhaps the more you want to the fantasy and not the real the easier it becomes to find reasons to say no...? & Mr & Mrs E.... come to WA for a holiday, there's never a shortage of fun over here
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RHP User
8 years ago
and one is not better than another. Yes, I often asked myself why didn't we find a couple yet. Are we arrogant in our belief that those people should be special to us? Possibly. Does it prevent us from trying new things? In some ways it does. Nevertheless, it is about the process not just the end result. Life does not revolve around sexual experimentation nor is it something one can plan. In fact I like spontaneity. So many things in our life are just random happenings. Our story starts now shaped by circumstance. (Ms)
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RHP User
8 years ago
being someone that wants to explore that part of the lifestyle more and not being in the young enough/good looking/well endowed group of single guys, I get looked past all the time. I get it. These people want guys from Studs Afloat or nothing else. It is what it is. Thats their fantasy. Im sure they'd have an awesome time with any of us guts back in the oack but the imagery in their mind is what's steering their choice. Haha... I keep telling myself that anyway. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Going by your comment in another thread, I'm guessing I'm one of the people who inspired this post, so here's my take on it.... To me, sex is basically analogous to friendship: it's preferable to be alone and do my own thing than to go through the motions of hanging out with someone I don't genuinely like and enjoy spending time with. As much as certain sexual scenarios are very appealing to me and I'd love to play them out sometime - the entire fantasy falls flat if I picture just going through the motions with people I haven't really clicked with. Or with people who are paid to be there. Or whatever makes it a not entirely enthusiastic and genuine personal experience all around. I don't consider myself to be particularly picky either (and I've only been a paid member for a couple of weeks). I guess I'd just rather find a small select number of close FWB type connections to share these things with, rather than party it up more openly and randomly. And that's not at all a judgment call on people who do things differently, it's just a combination of my introversion combined with coming from a polyamorous background and being used to a bit more connection and friendship coming along with sex. In short: there are plenty of sexual scenarios I can think of that sound very fun in theory, but where setting them up in some contrived scenario would totally kill the motivation for me. To the point where it's easier to just never experience that scenario at all, yes.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I understand the OP point somewhat but only in relation to organising your own private encounter. Just getting people to show up, is often a very difficult part. Having been involved in GB and bkk scenes (for this example), from the social engagement with the organisers (always a couple), I know in order to have 5 men turn up, means communication with or from easily 50 individuals. And that doesn't include those who get cold feet literally on route. But this involves choosing people based on communication skills at the very least, rejecting those who can't put more effort into a message than "yep il cum". Sometimes, the fantasy is worth it for the effort, sometimes the effort makes the fantasy seem more like work, like your job. Certainly so if it's for only a one off occasion. Although for certain people that like to repeat certain events, it gets much easier the next time, even just for MFM etc, as they now have existing trusted contact/s. At the organised and/or commercial swinger parties, I've seen all forms involving more men than women. I'm sure the reverse happens at events I cannot attend. If you just want the sex act, then organised events easily cater. So can the escort agencies. However not everyone is in convenient vicinity of them. And in any case they are still highly variable night to night, there's nothing like having a selection of friends (or just one other) in the comfort of your home or such private place. But yes, from the peculiar situation I'm in of having had many more intimate occasions involving more than two persons present, than the regular MF, the OP's concept is interesting to discuss. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Dirtyandfriendly
8 years ago
My friend and I are still looking for another woman, we've found a lot of time wasters and fakes. Many I think like to keep it as a fantasy too, which is okay, the annoying part is the excitement and build up to meet and at the last minute they can't do it. My friend is keen as mustard to be in a threesome, I think as well attraction can be quite intimidating too, she's a ballet dancer, petite etc and has made some feel a little uneasy. One friend of mine would do the threesome thing, but is so self conscious about herself she is too shy to do anything about it. I think most fantasise about it, but that's where it will most likely stay.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Why do you have to hang out with them? Having amazing sexual chemistry with someone doesn't necessarily mean you will have anything in common or that you have to like each other - that is, you don't have to get to know someone well enough to know if you like them or not apart from the sexual chemistry. As a single, I can appreciate that it's different. I would agree that it does make it much better when you have a special connection with at least one other person in the group. That is my preference too. But some people are fine with all randoms, and that is great because they have lots of good fun.
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RHP User
8 years ago
So what have you done to find a woman to hook up with the two of you? You are into BDSM (what I get from ur profile), do you go to BDSM events if there are any in Victoria?
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RHP User
8 years ago
Just wondering if you attend swingers clubs or parties? Don't you meet some good couples there to hook up with?
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RHP User
8 years ago
Organizing your own event sounds like too much hard work. Does it imply that the organizers want everything to be perfect and this is why they will not go to a prearranged event? For example I mean. Doesnt it sounds weird that even tho lots of men will talk it up, that it's hard to organize a sex party because they don't show??? Seems that something is inherently wrong with that. Lol. I've only organized small events. Bi guys for my girlfriend and I. I've found it pretty easy. Good pictures and a healthy attitude to sex is what we required. We were never disappointed- although some times the chemistry was maybe not steaming hot between all of us, but the attitude and sexual excitement and the kinkiness of the guys always had us totally enjoying every encounter. I never expected things to be perfect, each encounter is different. Mind you, that is why I like group sex. Ask me about meeting with guys one on one - errr than perhaps I am also guilty of being too picky. Can't hide the lack of chemistry when there is only two of you. 😩🤣😇
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RHP User
8 years ago
Thanks Jay, that is in the spirit of my question. :)
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RHP User
8 years ago
I feel ur frustration! It's one of those things it seems, that participating in group sex is easier to achieve when you have a woman with you. Time to find a partner in crime? Yep, not easy I know. :(
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RHP User
8 years ago
It may have come across as negative. Not at all. Just being pragmatic and comnenting on the way it is. The one thing I have learned is to take a deep breath and take that big step out of the comfort zone. I may not have fullfilled my fantasies the way I had pictured them in my mind but I have had the best time. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Agree with candy. As a couple i already have that special person. Not looking for another to have a sexy time with. Dont have to be special. Just good to chat to, fun, nice attitude. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Your comment; (quote function not working) “Why do you have to hang out with them? Having amazing sexual chemistry with someone doesn't necessarily mean you will have anything in common or that you have to like each other - that is, you don't have to get to know someone well enough to know if you like them or not apart from the sexual chemistry.” I guess that’s Katurdai’s preference. As it is mine. It’s not a case of “having” to hang out with them - but something that many people prefer. There’s nothing wrong with that - just as there’s nothing wrong with those who prefer to have great sex with people they know nothing about apart from the electrifying sexual chemistry they share.
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RHP User
8 years ago
not all people are like you. I may even wish to be but it’s not me. I can not have sexual chemistry without knowing people I am with. Perhaps that could be my fault. I need intimacy to trust. I could not be with someone I do not trust. It could also be fear of disappointment. Do I need disappointment in my life? No.
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RHP User
8 years ago
We are discussing group sex. When you meet someone you can determine if there is chemistry within the first few minutes. And why do you need that much trust - what are you trusting the person with? And don't say your body. We are not talking about a LTR here. So help me understand.
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RHP User
8 years ago
We have a club visit in a few weeks :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Maybe you can’t understand. I don’t understand how someone can have sex with someone they know nothing about. It’s just not something I can do, nor do I have any desire to. I don’t understand how someone wants to be physically intimate with someone without knowing anything about who they are as a person. I have friends who do, and that’s ok ... that’s their thing. I’d like to experience a group situation, but for me if that involves strangers then it’s also going to involve high levels of anxiety and discomfort. If that means that any group situation I’m likely to experience is limited in size or scope, that’s ok. My body. My choice. As as to what I’d be trusting them with - yes, I do think my body is an appropriate answer to that question. I don’t apologise for being discerning about who I want to let touch me. Again, no judgement on those who are far more open to experiencing sex with strangers than I am. Everyone has their own boundaries and needs. It’s what makes the world interesting, I think.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'CandyDelicious' So help me understand. a few people have already explained in detail to try and help you to understand, but you either can't or don't want to accept what they're saying. If you can't grasp the basic concept that people have different preferences and needs when it comes to sex - group sex or individual sex doesn't matter which one we're talking about - then I don't think any amount of people trying to explain it to you will help you. People vary in their capacity to empathise and see things from the perspective of others, you just may be a bit lacking in that capacity (that's an objective observation based on your forum comments, not a personal insult).
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RHP User
8 years ago
Thank you so much for explaining to me. How would I have ever understood it otherwise. Of course, I understand what they are saying. I understand it from a one on one perspective. And yep, if you can get a group that you all know and bond with that's the ideal. I can also appreciate if someone will experience anxiety in any given situation - then I assume you avoid those situations. Was looking at the deeper meaning behind it really. Anyway, it is poosible to can gain a level of trust and build chemistry in one meeting. Just because some dont need such a commitment from all their sexual partners doesn't mean that we haven't established that on some level. But if others need more, that's totally fine. That's not a judgment, if they need that. I'm just different. :p
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RHP User
8 years ago
Living your life always trying to avoid all diss appointments because you fear it? What so wrong with being disappointed sometimes? It's life in some respects isn't it? Even if you did build up an amazing relationship with another couple, that doesn't necessarily mean it will transfer to the bedroom, and you may be disappointed anyway.
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RHP User
8 years ago
That's great Mr_Mrs_E. I hope it lives up to your expectations. I do admire people who try alternative things just to give it a go. Excellent. :)
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RHP User
8 years ago
Love your second comment. Stepping out of the comfort zone and experiencing things - perhaps not the way you thought but still having a good time. Yep, I get that. :) Definitely, don't want to single anyone out, but I did read someone's comment stating they came to RHP to fulfill a certain fantasy and in the next sentence stated how it needed to to be in order for it to happen. Of course, if that is the only way you enjoy it that is up to the individual. And, if the person recognizes themselves in my comment, I sincerely hope you fulfill your fantasy (its a good one) and the last thing I want to do is make anyone uncomfortable! I sincerely hope I don;'t, You sould like an awesome person. However, first thoughts about it , even if LD will tell me I don't understand anything, is to say that just because you feel you need x y z to do something, doesn't mean you actually do. You may have always done something a certain way but that doesn't mean if you look for alternative ways or are provided with other opportunities perhaps outside of your comfort zone, that it cant also be a deeply satisfying on some other level. Naturally, sex is deeply personal and you need to be comfortable with the situation... but again sometimes what you end finding comfortable or exciting my surprise you. Or maybe it wont. Just don't immediately discount opportunities and give them a thot. That's all. I am sure to get a tongue lashing...should stop while I am behind. LOL.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'CandyDelicious' Why do you have to hang out with them? Having amazing sexual chemistry with someone doesn't necessarily mean you will have anything in common or that you have to like each other - that is, you don't have to get to know someone well enough to know if you like them or not apart from the sexual chemistry. I think that's just it... For me, sexual chemistry is closely tied to liking people personally. I mean, sure, there's also an element of sexual attraction for it's own sake, but it's secondary to the more personal stuff. And when the personal quality is lacking enough, my brain just goes "well what's the point then...?". You're right about one thing though....I reckon I could relax these boundaries a lot more in group situations than one-on-one. There's something about being in a private one-on-one bubble with another person that's particularly intense. There's just no escape. Nothing to focus on except each other. And that magnifies everything that might not be quite right.
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sexslaves
8 years ago
The problem is the internet as made it to easy for people to say they are swingers back when it was rosie or the sex paper ect it took months to organise a meet now it takes 5 minutes and people cant do that its comes to the meet the day of you are lucky if you get a message saying they cant make it things do come up in emergency but time after time dont think so. So many people have tickets on themselves looking for the impossible ken and barbie. For me bring back the old fish bowl parties or the group orgie parties - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I agree with lots of that. Look forward to hearing about your future adventures. ;)
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RHP User
8 years ago
The orgy parties still exist, I have been to quite a few. Not so sure about the fish bowl tho.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Agree with Candy - we may all have preferences strong and light but allowing it to turn into blockers certainly mean that we are the ultimate losers. We prefer to have a few hygeine, age no goes but otherwise would like to welcome people as they come. Having said that, it IS frustrating to encounter fakes, pic collectors, men posing as cpl/women. Which is typically why we're happy to chat on phone as a couple of need be. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Dirtyandfriendly
8 years ago
Quoting 'CandyDelicious' So what have you done to find a woman to hook up with the two of you? You are into BDSM (what I get from ur profile), do you go to BDSM events if there are any in Victoria? We are looking at attending events, she's a bit shy about all of it. Funny thing is she's more keen than me!!! She is into light bondage and wants to fuck my arse, she's adamant about that.
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RHP User
8 years ago
It's a good topic you raise Candy and I think most of the key reasons have been covered. We're one of those couples that has struggled to find what we're looking for, more often than not it's been lacklustre for at least one of us and that's not something we want to repeat. We are more towards the poly end of the swingers spectrum like Katurdai where we need a connection to make it enjoyable, the purely physical act of sex is not enough to get us interested. I'm sure there are many that revel in purely physical sex and they should be able to find it here, good on them. We'll keep on looking and have our own fun in the meantime ;) Mr D - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Well! That's sounds exciting. Perhaps when you find your second woman they can tag team your butt. Now that might draw in the crowd. *slurp* Finding the right event can be a bit tough if your girl is a bit shy. Not sure how close you are to Melbourne but Saints and Sinner parties sound like a good way to meet like minded people. :)
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RHP User
8 years ago
Let her fuck your arse then!! Haha. Seriously though, it is freakin scary taking those steps. The first time I was naked in a room with more than two people in total I was shaking. Awesome couple and another guy. It turned into a mini gang bang of sorts and the lady was really getting off on it. Such a great experience and was pretty full on for me. Since then each new experience has gotten easier so Im not so scared if it not being the perfect fantasy. I used to be scared that other people who were more experienced would judge me for my potential low performance. What I have found though is everybody is human. We all have good nights and bad nights. The second time round I had issues keeping my erection. The next time it was ready to go the whole time. As to the intimacy and connection. I find if I just relax and just get into it it brings its own intimacy. Im not too worried about being their best friend before we have sex. Of course I never treat them as a souless fuck either. I find that sex with a stranger is certainly one way to get to know someone very well. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
It is Ms and I am not afraid of disappointment, at least not of that kind. If we meet a couple and become friends only, I would not be disappointed, on the contrary... but I would be deeply disappointed if I am to be with someone who abuses his wife, molests children, bullies his mates, cheats, gossips behind friend backs... For me at least to be with the stranger is not so desirable. Warm personality, inquisitive nature and openness will always prevail. Because I know about the world I also know how deceptive some people can be. (Ms)
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RHP User
8 years ago
Couldn’t agree more. To many woman on here high expectations of if the guy is good looking he is going to be great in the sack. Wtf to that. Relax a bit and be surprised at what you might find. Great topic CD. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Private vs commercial parties, Yes certainly if you want quantity, presence, and convenience, you can achieve group sex any weekend by going to parties, especially if seeking additional solo men, however some are not all that comfortable with having their scenario with men who have paid a high monetary cost for it. And many cases they want to film/record for private use also. A scenario involving even numbers or more women is certainly unlikely at least at places I can pay to go. In any case private (ie free, not held for profit but only out of the goodness of mutual naughty hearts) also allows an extra level of personal type interaction less likely otherwise. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I believe u get contenders and pretenders....lotsa people talk about it....ive even seen the pretenders in the clubs....just fuckin dive in and have fun i say....geez... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Nike lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Some interesting and valid comments from all on here. Our first experience was a swinger's club, which was exciting being the first, but found it a little clinical. Our first encounter at a house party left us running for the door after one drink! So yes, we found we have certain standards, which we stick fairly closely to. Have since had a couple of our own parties, where we choose who we wish to attend, like a normal dinner party, and find that works best for us. So, we think whatever rocks your boat, go with it.
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RHP User
8 years ago
"Perfection is the enemy of good." The topic at the time was work, how trying to get everything perfect was the ruination of a good job. I think it applies here also. Call me a cynic but I think some here have no intention of doing anything but saying no and applying ridiculously high criteria is a means to that end. If watching life go by is their choice so be it.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Okay very interesting topic, here is my 2 cents as the male of a couple who have been 'in the scene' for at least 2 years, while only having maybe 3 or 4 encounters which have lead to the bedroom. 1st up i completely understand your point of veiw candy, i personally have a very similar way of looking at things. I prefer to ask why not instead of why, lifes too short. However not everyone shares the same point of veiw which i perfectly fine. For example my partner likes to opt for the why question over the why not, which can be frustrating for me as in my oppinion takes almost all excitement out a given scenerio, but together we find a medium ground by meeting people with the potential of playing at a later date rather than meeting someone to play with as no. 1 priority with potential freindship/connection as secondary. everyone is different in what they want and how they want things to pan out, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but finding people with the same wants and expectations can prove difficult hence why it can take time. Its not nessecarily that the fantasy is too specific or that one is being too fussy. When we are taling about a couple we must remember there are 2 individuals involved so it is a given that there will be a 'criteria' as to what the couple seeks which may make someonone look 'fussy' or 'picky'. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Dirtyandfriendly
8 years ago
Quoting 'CandyDelicious' Well! That's sounds exciting. Perhaps when you find your second woman they can tag team your butt. Now that might draw in the crowd. *slurp* Finding the right event can be a bit tough if your girl is a bit shy. Not sure how close you are to Melbourne but Saints and Sinner parties sound like a good way to meet like minded people. :) When she's keen she's keen and will go to one. Wednesday night is the big night, I'm a little nervous and hesitant, I'm normally the dominant one, but she for some reason brings out the sub in me.
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Dirtyandfriendly
8 years ago
I guess as well it isn't easy finding the right people. When I did the foursome we sifted through a lot of poor choices to find the right ones. I believe we had about 140 responses and only 6 were decent enough to reply too, so I guess first impressions do last. Finding a guy is easy enough, but finding the right woman is the real challenge as most revery hesitant to fulfill a fantasy if things aren't right.
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RHP User
8 years ago
It's more than needing the right connection, or some having to know the people really well. It's also about trying different things. Such as parties (sexual and social), swingers clubs, or house parties for example. Even if you don't feel comfortable participating you can use it as a way of meeting other like minded couples/singles and perhaps develop a good friendship from there. Just another way someone limits themselves - Oh I'm too fussy with who i sleep with to go to a swingers club - so I have heard on a few occasions. Find that really annoying!
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RHP User
8 years ago
I secretly agree with you. People that have been looking for a long time, are they really interested in swinging or do they like "planning" and thinking about it. Keeping it a fantasy. I think part of me thinks that is partly true. That is certainly a screening question to ask ... how long have you been looking. Too long, and its probably a no go for me.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I totally agree with you. I hv been with RHP since a year now, no positive response. Few just do window shopping, few just sent me good luck, few don’t even bother to reply. No one wants to connect.. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I mean seriously.. no need to be totally fussy.. How about attitude. Laughs. Connecting in a way that gives pleasure knowing you're with a great respectful couple that fulfills your every fantasy.. rather than the hottest look.. Doesnt mean just because they are hot they know what to do with you..or even appreciate your fantasy.. . Really.. what makes you perfect.. Hmmnmm. . Bad attitude is the most ugliest thing you can possess. . - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
It seems to me that one on one sex requires a different mind set to group sex. If you want additional soul mates to make the group thing happen yes it will be difficult to set up. On the other hand if you have a group where everyone just wants a celebration of carnality it can work. Where it can be difficult is that not everyone can separate their feelings in that way, good communication between all involved on this can be important. - Posted from rhpmobile
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FredAndGinger2
8 years ago
With fear of being shot down yet again in these forums, here's our view and our experiences.. We are fussy/particular who we feel an attraction with. We're not looking for big numbers of people to bonk. Instead we look for great friendships, similar interests and simple shared pleasures. For a long term monogamous couple like us, it has not been easy to separate sex from friendship/love and we're simply not interested in lots of alternative or group scenarios. We dabble a little.. This is where we are in our journey thus far and have very little interest in going further. We have had many intense, enjoyable and amazing experiences though: Saints and Sinner's Ball - been 3 times - great dressup party fun and a great first experience for couples new to the lifestyle Purr Party - been once - great sexy dance party. Even less intimidating than Saints and Sinner's Ball Wine, Dine and 69 - a 2 day wine tour weekend - best experience in this lifestyle so far and our first big 10 couples all-in hot and sweaty fun. Debauchery- too extreme for us Private parties - been to about 4 - we enjoyed these only when we already new the people. We still have a no play in first meet rule Private meets - more than a few ;) - these suit us best. Wine, sexy lingerie photo shoot, swapping, multiple 2 way and 3 way variations and games - awesome Passion in Paradise - we're going next week and we're super excited to meet another 25 couples! Your matches are out there. Put the effort into your own profile, chat and connect with others and you will be rewarded. We look forward to mamy more organised events with experimenting couples! Credits: I'd like to thank all our special friends.. hehe - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
So what you are doing is working and you have been swinging. And you are going to the Qld event. So that's good. My question was more geared to those comments I've read were people say they never find the right people or have been try to fulfill their fantasies for very long time w/ no success.
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RHP User
8 years ago
You of course seem to be right, but nothing is that simple unfortunately. Whenever you have a group of people, you will always have a group of attitudes. It seems every guy I have ever spoken to is only too happy to have sex with my wife, and even the women want to have sex with my wife, but there is never any interest in what the husband brings to the table. It shows in profiles too, couples with only photos of her is the norm, so it is obvious who is important in this scenario, and it is not the husband!!! I have arranged MMF activities and foursomes and been involved in bigger groups, yet I have always been left unsatisfied and widely ignored, and naturally the FFM thing is really just an unachievable dream, for me anyhow. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Honestly a MFM can be ok but Ive not enjoyed them greatly all works well until the husband starts touching you up with one hand on his dick. If you are bi sexual you should say so before the encounter
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RHP User
8 years ago
That is an interesting view and one I have thought about myself. I'd be wary if I was to have a couples profile one day, and have interest from those who were not interested in me in the slightest now. I would want to be seen as more than just "the guy" or the plus one accompanying the female they are really only interested in. I guess it just goes to show that coupled guys can have similar problems to single guys.
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RHP User
8 years ago
When we were on here as a couple we had messages from people that we werent looking for. Smokers, people into group sex or scat and heavy BDSM. They ridiculed us. We knew what we were looking for and were not prepared to compromise. Have actually met much nicer people in RL. Id never have sex with a stranger....robot sex is not for me.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Not sure what you are talking about there. You’re not into people who like Group sex? So what are you doing on this thread? Confused.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Not sure why everyone is so focused on strangers. How long do you need to chat to someone before they are no longer a stranger?? Besides, my question is around some people needing the right people, or situation or having everything perfect. If someone is well known to you or if it is someone you have just met is only a very small part of that.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'CandyDelicious' Not sure why everyone is so focused on strangers. How long do you need to chat to someone before they are no longer a stranger?? The best analogy I can come up with is to take "stranger danger" situations from other aspects of life, and then ask yourself at what point would you be comfortable doing those things... eg. How well do you have to know someone before you feel safe going off somewhere private with them where noone knows where you are? It's not even (necessarily) about any actual danger. It's a headspace thing. Having a certain level of familiarity and trust actually feeds back into attraction for me, although it's also definitely nice to be able to trust people about personal stuff - such as that they are who they say they are, that they're of sound mind, that their sexual health status is what they say it is, etc etc. It doesn't necessarily take super long for me, but it's definitely a notch above the totally random hookup scenario. Given the right circumstances, such as if one of my partners invited me into a threesome/group with their regular playmates, I reckon I could dive right in same night. But with people I'm meeting independently from scratch? I donno. How long is a piece of string? How long do you have to hang out with a new friend you met overseas before you'd be comfortable carrying their luggage on a plane via Singapore? *shrug*
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RHP User
8 years ago
Yes you need 100% compatible people for a group session.....numbers just for the sake of numbers ruins it for everyone...... Every single person needs to be in the same mindset, same sexuality, drug and disease free...... Its not about the body its about the people...... Ive had some amazing group sex over the years and some absolutely shit encounters.....it is 100% worth being patient......and far too many in the region are drug users. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Read up on the Herman Rockefeller case and you'll understand the importance of taking precautions... (It's not only women who may fall prey to predators).
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twowithnolimits
8 years ago
@katurdai Whats the shortest time you have gone between meeting someone and having sex with them? @wyvernsrose Even married couples are not 100% compatible, it is the willing ness to ccept that which makes for a successful marriage @ontology re the dangers of meeeting people; date rape drugs can be used at the bar with someone you have just met, do you stop going to bars just in case? regardless, statistically attacks on women are generally carried out by people already known to them in their social , work or family circles
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'twowithnolimits' @ontology re the dangers of meeeting people; date rape drugs can be used at the bar with someone you have just met, do you stop going to bars just in case? regardless, statistically attacks on women are generally carried out by people already known to them in their social , work or family circles I do not dispute this. Hence, my recommendation people take precautions to protect themselves. I have been drugged on more than one occasion (separated by time, space, and people involved). Sometimes the motivation was attempted robbery, other times homosexual men sought to force themselves on me. None were successful. (I have a fairly robust constitution and capacity to defend myself).
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RHP User
8 years ago
But I’m in a group - or specifically for me with my BF - so I’m not going off with a stranger alone.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'twowithnolimits' @katurdai Whats the shortest time you have gone between meeting someone and having sex with them? It depends on what you mean by "sex"... Soft play such as having a pash and some basic erotic touch - same night.Actual full intercourse - four months.And then a range of activities and time frames in between. Basically the more "hardcore", the longer it took. These days it could go much faster I reckon. But still relatively slow with total strangers who I'm getting to know from scratch. *shrug*
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AnnieWhichway
8 years ago
Quoting 'Katurdai' Quoting 'twowithnolimits' @katurdai Whats the shortest time you have gone between meeting someone and having sex with them? It depends on what you mean by "sex"... Soft play such as having a pash and some basic erotic touch - same night.Actual full intercourse - four months.And then a range of activities and time frames in between. Basically the more "hardcore", the longer it took. These days it could go much faster I reckon. But still relatively slow with total strangers who I'm getting to know from scratch. *shrug* Four months??What's the logic in that approach? Curious
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'AnnieWhichway'Four months??What's the logic in that approach? Curious I know right? Sounds a bit ridiculous even to me, looking at that number now, haha! It's actually more circumstantial than intentional, for the most part... Long story short: Much of my polyamorous "dating" over the years has been quite passive and social. More about hanging out, making poly friends, and seeing where it goes than actively attempting to make anything intimate happen. And given that most of these people have busy lives and other partners and stuff, the meets/dates were often brief and low-key and far between. So it wasn't unusual to get less than a handful of short meets in over a couple of months, and then something clicked. I could do it much quicker than that these days. But still, I just seem to be wired to need a certain basic amount of personal familiarity that goes beyond the almost-immediate-hookup mentality. I simply can't relate to what people are talking about when they say they can feel sexual chemistry within minutes of meeting someone. I'd say 2-3 meets is probably where it's at for me now, although there's no magic formula.
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AnnieWhichway
8 years ago
Quoting 'Katurdai' Quoting 'AnnieWhichway'Four months??What's the logic in that approach? Curious I could do it much quicker than that these days. But still, I just seem to be wired to need a certain basic amount of personal familiarity that goes beyond the almost-immediate-hookup mentality. I simply can't relate to what people are talking about when they say they can feel sexual chemistry within minutes of meeting someone. I'd say 2-3 meets is probably where it's at for me now, although there's no magic formula. I'm tending to be on the same page. I'm over swingers parties. I need more mental stimulation of a close knit connection. Mindless fucking has temporarily left me behind. Rather concentrate with 1 on 1 or a 3some at the most. But steering toward fb/Fwb rather than 1 off's. Maybe a phase, who knows. But can certainly get a connection established in a short time over some drinks and chat. 4months.......nah. 1 hour can work I think
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RHP User
8 years ago
It is not always a case of "waiting" or not, or being selective or not. It is a case of networking, of being involved with the right people, of having the right friends if not the right partner, that certain situations would ever eventuate. Technically you can hire escorts (plural) at the same time for all activities. You can go to swinging or sex parties, but you can only go to what you are able to be invited to, and you will only find certain situations there. For something else, comes back to more networking etc.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'countrytouch' It is not always a case of "waiting" or not, or being selective or not. It is a case of networking, of being involved with the right people, of having the right friends if not the right partner, that certain situations would ever eventuate. Yeah, that's absolutely true... As I mentioned in a previous reply above, I'd probably dive straight into it if one of my partners invited me into a threesome/group with some of their trusted long term friends/playmates. It's just that they have their own relationships and dynamics going that I'm not a part of at all, so I'm not sure how likely it is that I'll ever be invited into something like that. But yeah, natural social networking opportunities are a totally different ballgame to meeting new people entirely from scratch. I'm not great at that altogether, since I'm quite introverted and somewhat socially awkward IRL. Going to a big swingers party full of strangers actually might break my brain. :D
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curiousgirl35
7 years ago
Still waiting for firsts here. I guess from our point of view we are self conscious a little ,never having done this before. Also as we are predominantly looking for a woman rather than couples yet,it gets harder again. Definitely not a time waster here. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
Too many girls expecting Prince Charming. And when they swing it tends to get even crazier because they expect to be "gangbanged" by a horde of Prince Charmings. I just saw a woman's profile looking for group action with so many MUSTs I lost count. Well... each to their own. All I can wish them is "good luck"! Or maybe good luck for me for being far from perfect. Haha. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
7 years ago
We have met some beautiful single girls here and formed friendships with them as well as lovers. My fantasy was to have a fem threesome and this was surpassed and was the most amazing experience I have had. We have also met some gorgeous couples and become friends with them as well. Looks are what attracts you but we are not Brad Pitt and Angelina and love people who are genuine and have a personality! We have met couples and said thanks for the drink and have had couples do the same to us! It’s individual what attracts you to someone! Don’t want to die not knowing
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RHP User
7 years ago
Mmf and gang bang still yet to happen. Im not that fussy..Apparently, im not good enough for the gangbang groups. Considering im a size 14 and could pass for 28 i actually dont think thats really my problem. The rest is just organising the fools. From what i can tell its the usual story of flaky time wasters on these sites even men in general. Even when they are verified they still back out with no word. Most are unfortunately pic collectors. I even got an unsolocited wanking vid last night. Unverified, no face pics, chasing me for ages. He referred to it as his 'work'. Wanking is work? Right.Oh but he is real. Real annoying i say. If they had any brains theyd have less time to make vids and be fucking. They wonder why i bark at them. This is a good place to be if you want to lose all respect for men. If you find them please forward profiles to me. - Posted from rhpmobile
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