F40
Wasting my time???
May 27 2013
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
You say you're confused.... so.... if the opposite of confusion is clarity... seek clarity.Now, Im never going to tell someone what to do when it comes to a relationship.... but, I will ask.......do you even know what you want?!IE... if you were to make a list of 10 things you want in a PARTNER/RELATIONSHIP.... how many does he tick?And how does he really feel about relationships in general, and a relationship with you?Is the idea of him out of your life, less Ideal than being in it? And Visa Versa.Answer these, truthfully... and you'll know what you want.Then, see if he wants the same.DG
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RHP User
13 years ago
You need to talk to him about this......noone....that's right NOONE can know your arrangement better than the two of you. So talk it out between the two of you. I've found that so many people are so scared of broaching the topic because they fear the feelings won't be reciprocated. OR.... You both maybe too scared to admit to each other that you're feelings are now taking over, and are fighting it because of how or where you met. The both of you are what define the arrangement so define it together. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
If YOU think you are wasting your time, then you probably are. Hp xo
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RHP User
13 years ago
Decided what you want in your heart of hearts, then talk to him. If he doesn't want the same well, you will have some decisions to make then. If you are both exclusive and spend most of your time together then I think it is reasonable to assume you are in a relationship regardless of what you both say. It's been 3.5 years so time to reassess. Good luck!!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Denial ... at its best Time for you both to talk about relationship status Strengthen the relationship with clear clarity Will make or break ... The word commitment scares many people yet sounds like you's are in ... anyway Good Luck ...
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RHP User
13 years ago
We have dropped the word relationship around but both went nah and laughed.... It even got to the point where he jokes I would make an awesome house wife...not something I want..we have dinners together, I moved out of the house we lived in a month ago only to find I have spent half of that time at his house, where we fuck like rabbits and he he begs me to move back in :/... I want him in my life regardless if we are dating or not...his my best friend, he knows me better than anyone else in my life...which is why I have no idea how to bring this subject up without destroying what we have.
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RHP User
13 years ago
He has a form of autistism
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RHP User
13 years ago
Sometimes it's the language .... Are you happy with how it is? Is he? Just don't say the Rrrrrrr word.....
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RHP User
13 years ago
Bloody hell, this has happened twice now and it's unsettling, but he's right Quoting 'Mischeviouslad' You say you're confused.... so.... if the opposite of confusion is clarity... seek clarity.Now, Im never going to tell someone what to do when it comes to a relationship.... but, I will ask.......do you even know what you want?!IE... if you were to make a list of 10 things you want in a PARTNER/RELATIONSHIP.... how many does he tick?And how does he really feel about relationships in general, and a relationship with you?Is the idea of him out of your life, less Ideal than being in it? And Visa Versa.Answer these, truthfully... and you'll know what you want.Then, see if he wants the same.DG
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RHP User
13 years ago
Once you have clarity about what YOU want....everything is easier!
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RHP User
13 years ago
You have to talk to each other...I found until that I spoke to him I couldnt do anything else, all the people that I spoke to tried to help but it was his words and mine that made sense.Someone just told me this I think this is gold "chasing happiness is a recipe for unhappiness. The idea is apparently to chase a good life and in so doing,you will find happiness.Goodlife doesn't mean luxury life style, it means wholesome and goodness of the heart. Chase what makes you feel good about yourself. That's where happiness resides."Good Luck Butterfly.
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RHP User
13 years ago
It's not what I want be to honest, his mood swings are unpredictable, it's like living with a baby. As long as he got what he wanted things were fine.. I told him last night I was seriously thinking bout moving to better my life and situation, he told me we can no longer be friends, I know in a couple of days he will crawl back, but if his not willing to support me when I'm trying to better my life I don't need him around..so doing the Right thing for me..
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RHP User
13 years ago
Looking in on the situation, I'd say it's time to move on. It will be hard for now but after a week or so you will start to see that there are so many possibilities out there. Do yourself a favour, move on and be single for a while, work out what you truly want in life. If you live your life solely for another person, you won't be living your own life. That's actually what I am discovering at the moment. Good luck!
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'Sexy_butterfly' It's not what I want be to honest.End of story. Onwards and upwards miss S_bDG
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RHP User
13 years ago
Never a truer word was spoken....x Quoting 'Beneath_blueeyes' "chasing happiness is a recipe for unhappiness. The idea is apparently to chase a good life and in so doing,you will find happiness.Goodlife doesn't mean luxury life style, it means wholesome and goodness of the heart. Chase what makes you feel good about yourself. That's where happiness resides."
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RHP User
13 years ago
SexyButterfly, during my divorce proceedings I did some research into what constitutes a De Facto couple under the law and there is something called a 'Registered Relationship' (RR) that you might find interesting. It is legal stuff but it gives a definition of what is deemed a relationship both in the eyes of the community as well as, defined by law. Not that you want to get all legal on each other but I was very surprised to learn that you don't even need to live under the same roof to be regarded as being De Facto to some extent.My ex-wife was trying to claim that her & I were a de facto couple prior to living together which I thought was rubbish, but under the law there is some truth to that as defined by a RR. It's pretty scary stuff actually to think that people can make financial claims on each other even though they don't live together. Only a total arsehole would do that of course but it was certainly something I will be wary of into the future. Just some food for thought, personally, keep it on the low down if it suits you both better.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Apart with no contact at all and I'm a bloody mess, second guessing myself, I mean it's all I've known for 3.5 years...guess no one said it was gonna be easy
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RHP User
13 years ago
Following your goals in life over your heart is never easy ............. But if what your heart feels is not getting you anywhere, maybe the break u have made is good. Give it a little time....... I'm sure there are many of us who wish we could help you in your decision. Good luck sweetie!!!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
You get what you settle for
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RHP User
13 years ago
Good luck gorgeous. I am sure you will miss him like crazy at first but if he can't give you what you want or need I am sure it's for the best. xx
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RHP User
13 years ago
The sponsoring thought about yourself (and himself) "Not being a couple" is the wedge impeding growth. An impasse which can only be removed by changing the belief you both hold so true..You are young, If this arrangement fizzles out, next time dump the wedge that led you both to this juncture and play full out..Good Luck
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