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Well the "silly season" is upon us and yes some of us go a lil "Psycho" because of all the rushing around.

December 12 2013

BUT on a serious note, havwe you ever come across a Psychopath? No not conmen/women, grumpy assholes, abusers or your average everyday nutter BUT real, genuine, 100% bonafide Psychopaths? Are you still with them and doubting yourself because of the way they treat you and tyou're wondering why this person is treating you that way. With the presuures of Christmas upon us I think some people are wondering why thier partners are behaving a bit psycho (meaner than usual, unrealistic or wanting more and blaming you because they don't have it), well there may be a reason:   On another topic an old nightmare reared it's head from the darker recesses of my memory and figured education is a wonderful thing. Mine was diagnosed a psychopath but it seems Narcissists are now in the mix as well (not necessarily happy about giving them the Psycho distinction either BUT that's the scientific/medical fraternity for you!)   PLEASE READ IF YOU NEED HELP. KNOWING WHAT TO LOOK FOR COULD HELP YOU HELP YOURSELF. IF YOU HAVER A CHILD THAT EXHIBITS THESE TRAITS GETTING THEM SKILLED ASSISTANCE PRIOR TO AGE OF 18 MAY GIVE THEM A HOPE OF "CONTROLLING" THEMSELVES AFTER AGED 18 THOUGH THEY ARE MOSRT LIKELY DOOMED TO THIS PATTERN OF BEHAVIOUR.   Excert from this address: interesting reading especially the discussion down the bottom of the web page.   An exert: In a recent article written by the New York times entitled “A Fate That Narcissists Will Hate: Being Ignored” according to some professionals Narcissists are about to become an endangered species. When I first read his article, like most other people who are trying to educate people about narcissism I was somewhat alarmed especially as I know how much damage those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder can do to their victims. However on further investigation I had a look at the new guidelines outlined in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (due out in 2013, otherwise known as DSM-5). The work group is recommending that this disorder be reformulated as the Antisocial/Psychopathic Type.   It appears that some of the traits of the narcissistic personality have now been included in what they call the psychopathic type. Apart from recklessness, impulsivity and aggression which may apply to the narcissist in varying degrees. According to the new list below the majority of the new traits would fit into the both the psychopathic AND the narcissistic personality.   From my own experience and those who have had relationships with those who have had NPD many have the following characteristics although often they may be loath to admit that their partners were in fact psychopaths. My own personal opinion has always been quite different. To highlight this I have listed the new guidelines and and highlighted those in blue that a narcissist are most likely to have. You can see the full criteria changes here   The new list comprises a number of psychopathic traits i.e.   1. Antagonism: Callousness Lack of empathy or concern for others’ feelings or problems; lack of guilt or remorse about the negative or harmful effects of one’s actions on others; exploitativeness   2. Antagonism: Aggression Being mean, cruel, or cold-hearted; verbally, relationally, or physically abusive; humiliating and demeaning of others; willingly and wilfully engaging in acts of violence against persons and objects; active and open belligerence or vengefulness; using dominance and intimidation to control others   3.Antagonism: Manipulativeness Use of cunning, craft, or subterfuge to influence or control others; casual use of others to one’s own advantage; use of seduction, charm, glibness, or ingratiation to achieve one’s own end   4.Antagonism: Hostility Irritability, hot temperedness; being unfriendly, rude, surly, or nasty; responding angrily to minor slights and insults   5.Antagonism: Deceitfulness Dishonesty, untruthfulness; embellishment or fabrication when relating events; misrepresentation of self; fraudulence   6. Antagonism: Narcissism Vanity, boastfulness, exaggeration of one’s achievements and abilities; self-centeredness; feeling and acting entitled, believing that one deserves only the best; preoccupation with having unlimited success, power, brilliance, and/or beauty   7.Disinhibition: Irresponsibility Disregard for, or failure to honor, financial and other obligations or commitments; lack of respect and follow through on agreements and promises; unreliability; failure to keep appointments or to complete tasks or assignments; carelessness with own and/or others’ possessions   8.Disinhibition: Recklessness Craving and pursuit of stimulation and variety without regard for consequences; boredom proneness and unplanned initiation of activities to counter boredom; unnecessary risk taking; lack of concern for ones limitations; denial of the reality of personal danger; high tolerance for uncertainty and unfamiliarity   9.Disinhibition: Impulsivity Acting on the spur of the moment in response to immediate stimuli; acting on a momentary basis without a plan or consideration of outcomes; difficulty establishing and following plans; failure to learn from experience Under the older model. The diagnostic criteria for NPD was that a person had to have 5 or more of the following traits: Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g. exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)   Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)   Requires excessive admiration   Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., they have unreasonable expectations of especially favourable treatment for themselves or automatic compliance with his or her expectations   Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e. they take advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.   Lacks empathy and is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.   Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.   Shows arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes   Under the new model they have a rating system. ie. The person would be either mildly psychopathic with low levels of psychopathic traits or significantly psychopathic with high level traits.   What’s interesting is that they have called Narcissism an ‘Antagonistic’ trait. In the past narcissism has always had a somewhat glamorous title to it which is reflected in the media all the time. We often hear headlines where the press say so and so is a narcissist. Its flouted around almost as flippantly as if saying that someone is a flirt and that actually narcissism is OK. Healthy narcissism is but unhealthy narcissism is extremely antagonistic as most people will know having lived or had an encounter with someone who has NPD. At the extreme end of the Narcissistic Personality whereby someone does have some of the aggressive traits listed above which would might otherwise been known as “narcissistic rage” they can easily kill someone.   Perhaps the new rules and regulations are actually a good thing. Its certainly not going to be very glamorous for people to say they are a psychopath and as the New York times article rightly says the last thing a narcissist wants to be is ignored. In my opinion the narcissist is now being given the ultimate honour and a title they should have been given a long time ago, that of a psychopath. It also means that with education more and more people will be able to spot these dangerous predators and instead of saying “oh they are harmless because they have NPD” people will start to take them and their victims more seriously.   I FIND THE PSYCHOPATHIC CHECKLIST ON THE WEBPAGE MORE INTERESTING READING THAN NARCISSISTS BUT FIGURED AWARENES VIA THE LINK MIGHT HELP A FEW PEOPLE NOT BECOME VICTIMS OR TO STOP BEING VICTIMS.   Indy....Survivor

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I work with drug addicted criminals (amongst others), some of whom are dangerous..I rarely get scared, but there have been a few men over the years that made my gut scream danger..Trust your gut people. It's never wrong when it comes to others, as long as we listen to it carefully..And anyone in a situation they can't get out of, there is help!http://www.whiteribbon.org.au/finding-help

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    unfortunately plenty of innocents are locked up. Whats your definition of a crim??, more than likely different from most. And going by the sentences handed down by those who have a job for life does it really matter?? We all work with criminals of one description or another. I'm not into that slot fits that demographic. White ribbon, yes makes some feel good, there are some males out there on the receiving end as well. Nuff said

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    I tick a few of those boxes, but I'm not anti social or hurt animals and stuff. Matter of fact, a lot of that can be applied to society in general. It's when & how it affects others that it becomes an issue. I have lived with 2 people I was seriously afraid of, and 2 more that threatened my safety over the years. Indy, life puts us through some fucking tough tests of character my friend. You are not just a survivor, you're a fucking champion!

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  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    12 years ago

    http://psychopathyawareness.wordpress.com/2011/10/03/the-list-of-psychopathy-symptoms/ Most people think Ted Bundy and murderous others when thr word Psychopath is bandied about. Fact of the matter remains these people are more prevalent in society than we think. modt people who've been burnt by them run and don't look back and are thankful they got away, whrn the heart/feelings are involved it's just hard to get away. When you realise there are others out there who've been through the sane thing and felt the sane things you're feeling......my psycho's ex-wife and girlfriend after me are close friends. None are stupid women, in fact; most of these types prefer a challenge. it boosts their own ego to get it over someone who presented a challenge (in the beginning). Can I also add, there is no shame for having been duped by these types. They are very good at what they do, it is their primary nature. No they don't care who they hurt, and in fact are incapable of "feeling" much of anything for anyone other than thenselves. They assimilate or mimic appropriate behaviours on cue whilst in the "seduction" and "trust" gaining phase of the game. You may not be in any situation like this but it's still an interesting read and handy to know what to be aware of. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    There's no telling how many readers will recognise these characteristics in someone they know (if not themselves). Psychopaths have something else in common...they have a certain look about them, distinct facial expressions that sets them apart. There is a soulless look about them. The eyes do not show rage. They don't show hatred. They have absolutely no emotion connected to them at all. There is a complete lack of animation, a complete lack of any type of movement from the bottom of the nose to the end of the chin. This is not simply the face of an emotionless person. Many people do not show a great deal of feeling but the face of a psychopath goes above and beyond that. You will see a quizzical gaze of which there will be an intensity of hatred that cannot be mistaken for anything but pure hostility. There is also a look of captivating, disarming charm. The eyes have a quality where they actually appear to be twinkling. The difference is the eyes will be squinting in the midst of a forced smile. It is physically impossible to create a genuine smile with squinted eyes. At some point an expression of evil will appear across this persons face identifying the true nature of the person in question. This one is not too easy too detect on sight unless you know what you're looking for, however it is more noticeable in photos.

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  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    12 years ago

    You ever felt like a rodent being hypnotised by a snake or like you're an insect under a telescope? Yes kiwibred they definately DO have a look all their own. My youngest 7/8 at the time said "I don't like his eyes Mum, they are scaly ugly eyes." of course I was infatuated but did pay more heed to those eyes and my gut jept screaming at me BUT I didn't listen, I wanted to think everything was going to be ok and the "fairytale" was coming true. Cwhereitgoes I did include both male and female sexes in this category, it's responses like yours that stop people/victims make AND female from questioning, asking for help or seeking assistance. You're entitled to your opinion and I do feel sorry for your narrow-minded outlook to a few topics posted here, Merry Chistmas Grumpy. Unrushed and others YES quite a few of these traits can be applied broadly throughout our population, thing is it's the intensity to which these characteristics manifest themselves and to be completely honest I reckon a person has to exhibit at minumum and passionately 8-10 of those and they will be behaviours witnessed by parents in early stages of development from about age 5 and up. It is not a learned behaviour or something that just happens it is a genetic flaw that in today's society is becoming more prevalent because these people aren't being exiled from our communities like they would have been back when we were less civilised or systematically sacrificed to protect the tribe. Lol sounds horrible I know. They are at all levels of society, even politicians and company CEO's. it is an affiction that knows no social boundaries and now more than ever these persons are able to breed and sow their oats more intensively into future generations. The man I met has a son, I adore him; he facebooks me when I'm not visiting.....he is watched carefylly, loved, encouraged and so far so good. He is a loving kid, very smart, sweet and apart from looks nothing like the "thing" that fathered him. Seriously it's hard enough to diagnose but this man was so "pscho" it only took an hour at the mental hospital after being arrested and the various swings he exhibited for the bext 2 days for them to diagnose him. I know the topic's probably off kilter for most but the memory was brought back and it seemed and good time to bring it up for open discussion. There are so few places for "survivors/victims" to go and discuss/get help because most wouldn't even have a clue what actually happened to them!! I did get a lovely message from a "psycho" this morning saying he's upset now because I've made his secrets available to the dating public and his Xmas Victim shopping is going to be harder now they're aware. To my darling friend.....rethink the airholes in the boot of your car OR alternatively acquire more ether. Zippy ties are on special this time of year too, I've just stocked up ~ Indy on a mission. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • him_and_me

    him_and_me

    12 years ago

    Thank you for sharing your experiences. It sounds like you (and others) have been through hell in the company of psychopaths. Like Unrushed said, you're awesome. It is interesting to read that list though, and yes, I can see elements of some of those traits in myself. Eeep. I promise I'm generally a nice person. Indy, I really hope this new year brings you wonderfulness in many and vaired forms. xx Me

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  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    12 years ago

    Quoting 'him_and_me'Thank you for sharing your experiences. It sounds like you (and others) have been through hell in the company of psychopaths. Like Unrushed said, you're awesome. It is interesting to read that list though, and yes, I can see elements of some of those traits in myself. Eeep. I promise I'm generally a nice person. Indy, I really hope this new year brings you wonderfulness in many and vaired forms. xx Me This is an old tale.....not something that exists in my near past and certainly NOT in my future. It is handy to note though that I allowed myself to become enthrall too despite my gut and the wartnings I picked up on and certain of his behaviours; I still STAYED! I was groomed into a "willing victim". It was moreso an attempt at education since online dating and sites such as these hold an array of people and predators on them. Sometimes it's good to be reminded of that and to exercise some caution and safety. And yes I have certain of those traits too....mild samplings like most of us do.....I hope next year is great for all of us! xx

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  • cleopatrababe

    cleopatrababe

    12 years ago

    I have a story to tell but will keep it brief ,, i was married to a man who relished it to abuse and belittle me when ever he felt it was necessary ,, i knew his background his father was murdered by his mother he was violent and my ex did time 16 charges for gbh thats grevious bodily harm ,, if u are unsure , i was naive in my approach i loved him thought i coulod save him ,, nope i had tgwo children thank god my daughter was an angel , but then i had a son i always felt like something was wrong he was healthy in every way but very demanding and hard going , i didint really like him there was somehting not right he was able to be verbal at a young age in a demeaning way , he was the devil incarnate he had everything he wanted all the love and care ,, they hated him at school ,, kindergarden he got kicked out there was no end to trouble took him to so many specialist ADD they said i knew it was more ,,, he got to 14 got kicked out of high school ended up at a special school that took him thank god ,, he became the worst there to he hit the drugs it was a nightmare my health went ,, my marriage was on the rocks my daughter suffered we all did daily ,, he drained us mentally and financially he left school time went on he worked with my ex in our business never put in a full week always sleeping ,, we came over to perth from sydney for a new start within 9 mths my ex left me to go back to sydney to save him from his drug problems , ,im now alone time goes on he comes over to perth does ok for a while finds a nice girl they destroy each other horror it was he becomes a big drinker and beats her up hes now in jail for two years and dosent speak to any of us as a family we are all scum in his eyes ,, he showed us what narcissim is and i hope in gods name he never has children ,,, we dont need people like my son in the world he has destroyed so many lives ,, this is my child i love him i carried him but he is a destructive human being i hope someone gets something out of this story

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    12 years ago

    In truth most of society will tick at least a couple of those boxes. It has been established that people with psychopathic personality types are not In and of themselves necessarily dangerous, it is often the combination of that personality type AND a traumatic event/upbringing that creates a monster. The old nature plus nurture combination. Many psychopaths are highly functioning individuals and often quite successful, some careers are over represented in psychopathic personality types.....surgeons being one, because the types of behaviours you are describing are exactly what makes them successful in their work. Indy, I know your heart is absolutely in the right place and you are sharing your story to help protect others, but be cautious of self diagnosing anyone, leave it to the professionals. In addition if anyone ever finds themselves in a position that's leaves them uncomfortable they should listen to their gut and take action. I know Indy, you would agree as you have told me you knew something wasn't right but overode that feeling in your gut. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • Wild_Pagan_Love

    Wild_Pagan_Love

    12 years ago

    Thanks for sharing Cleopatrababe. Wow, sounds tough. I'm sure nobody can understand it either without experiencing it firsthand. Clinical disorders are extremely difficult. Its kind of 'tiger can't change its stripes' kinda stuff. Medication/therapy helps manage it, but these people rarely 'change'. Only had one experience with a real psychopath - incredibly interesting and scary. Only time I've ever feared another person - like he could kill me on the spot, and I was his friend, lol. Quoting 'cleopatrababe' I have a story to tell but will keep it brief ,, i was married to a man who relished it to abuse and belittle me when ever he felt it was necessary ,, i knew his background his father was murdered by his mother he was violent and my ex did time 16 charges for gbh thats grevious bodily harm ,, if u are unsure , i was naive in my approach i loved him thought i coulod save him ,, nope i had tgwo children thank god my daughter was an angel , but then i had a son i always felt like something was wrong he was healthy in every way but very demanding and hard going , i didint really like him there was somehting not right he was able to be verbal at a young age in a demeaning way , he was the devil incarnate he had everything he wanted all the love and care ,, they hated him at school ,, kindergarden he got kicked out there was no end to trouble took him to so many specialist ADD they said i knew it was more ,,, he got to 14 got kicked out of high school ended up at a special school that took him thank god ,, he became the worst there to he hit the drugs it was a nightmare my health went ,, my marriage was on the rocks my daughter suffered we all did daily ,, he drained us mentally and financially he left school time went on he worked with my ex in our business never put in a full week always sleeping ,, we came over to perth from sydney for a new start within 9 mths my ex left me to go back to sydney to save him from his drug problems , ,im now alone time goes on he comes over to perth does ok for a while finds a nice girl they destroy each other horror it was he becomes a big drinker and beats her up hes now in jail for two years and dosent speak to any of us as a family we are all scum in his eyes ,, he showed us what narcissim is and i hope in gods name he never has children ,,, we dont need people like my son in the world he has destroyed so many lives ,, this is my child i love him i carried him but he is a destructive human being i hope someone gets something out of this story

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  • On_Safari

    On_Safari

    12 years ago

    I'm not asking anyone to self-diagnose!! That would be ridiculous. Cleopatrababe I think that was very brave of you!! Yes Kale violence begets violence but as I said a true psychopath is a "genetic" trait not a learned behaviour. Mine's mother had 9 kids to a number of me. She adopted them all out except the youngest 2. When the father died, his brother and wife were barren so she said to take thrm or she'd put them up for adoption also. He had a history of bullying, arsen, graffiti through school age, petty theft, break and enter and scarily standing at the foot of an elderly woman's bed in the middle of the night, her panties laid out at the foot of it masturbating! He got off nearly all these charges because of his adoptive father/uncle. The man who adopted him after the wife died was killed in a break and enter, no forced entry, severe head trauma, my psycho "found the body" no one was ever charged with the murder and to this day he says it must have been the neighbour (who was his adoptive's best friend and didn't trust psycho). His ex-wife and I matched stories we were told then the girlfriend after me......it's chilling. He raped my friend's 17yo daughter whilst in his care for 2 days (and raped her on the second day after ringing her mother to wish her a happy birthday and singing it over the phone with her!!!) and other ladies and because they didn't want to pursue it eventhough there were others, he got away with that too. It is like you're living in a nightmare. I have a friend in Melbourne who's stepson has all the troubles yours did Cleopatrababe. This kid makes weapons, tells my friend he's going to kill him. This kid is 14, threatens his mother; yes is switched on and operates at a high level in all the bad ways. Has been diagnosed ADD/ADHD and 3 schools have practically begged the mother to get him professional help. She is in denial, blaming herself but not getting her kid the help he needs to try and cope into the future. My friend just wants out of that marriage. I'm certainly NOT recommending anyone self-diagnose. The fact you would attempt to self-diagnose would show you aren't narcissistic/psychopathic because these people believe there is nothing wrong with them. Thank you Kiwibred (I'm assuming you've had a close call) and Cleopatrababe and others for sharing your thoughts.

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  • Tall74nHard9

    Tall74nHard9

    12 years ago

    It's about time you started writing that book Indy .... no such thing as a short story for you, is there ?? Tall

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