F36
What are guys really after? (with the chat, meet & hookup)
December 27 2018
Comments
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bonefide
7 years ago
Will watch this forum, as u can always learn.
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RHP User
7 years ago
There's the online/internet dating world, and the real world. I presume you mean the online world? If so; I would converse initially via messages on here, although the Kik thing does seem to be easier. I would want to know the basics first in said chats; make sure we are aligned (at least mostly) in what we want. The merest sniff of her wanting a long term relationship and I would politely excuse myself. Meet up in a public place for coffee or a drink, this puts both parties at ease. Different for blokes, but as a woman I am sure I would be highly suspicious of just rocking up to someone's house without meeting elsewhere first. First meet, if we both got along and liked the look and sound of each other, if she wanted to adjourn somewhere else and take things further I would not object. Again, if I got so much as a sniff of her wanting a long term relationship I am afraid I would politely make my excuses and call it a night. I think one-nighters can go further, but in my case only to "FWB" level, as long as both parties are agreeable. Everyone on here who has been here any length of time will have horror stories to tell about internet dating. I recently had to endure an agonizing session of message ping-pong with a woman who wanted to test if I could handle her humor or not. So I played along with about 5 or 6 knock-knock jokes before getting bored. She was right, I couldn't handle her sense of humor. Hardly horrific, but that was the least bad example I could pick. I think you wanting a drink and chat as your first actual meet is what most people would expect - I would be very suspicious of anyone who wanted to just meet at their place and just get to it. For a start, how they actually look in real life seems to differ markedly from their profile pics (one of the biggest complaints of online dating).
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RHP User
7 years ago
Hmmm. In your case especially, be careful and Very wary. You will get heaps shooting you dick pics or pics of their muscles if they're gym junkies. Read between the lines in their messages and be fussy. Most guys will see you as a conquest, especially with your looks so when it comes to actual sex look for cameras in their bedroom or if their phone is still on. For a first meet make it in public and preferably take someone with you or have them in the same coffee shop or wherever and have someone ring you halfway through the meet incase you want to bail out. Before that get their phone number and call them, but block your number so they cant call back and ask lots of questions, and Repeat those questions in a follow up call to see if those answers match up again, and if they dont then fuck him off. The bottom line though is take it slow and at your own pace; if they dont like it or push you, fuck them off. You are in control, remember that. Anyone who is worth meeting will respect your wishes and boundries. Good luck and hope you find what you're looking for. Ally xx
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RHP User
7 years ago
I put it to you as a female that you do what you are comfortable with and feel safe with. You chat via methods you feel safe to utilise. If you don’t want to give out your number - don’t. If you don’t want to rock up to a strange house - don’t. You are in control. You get a say as to how things play out.. don’t be dictated to by a male because you are new to the site and unsure... You set your ground rules and if they don’t want to abide by them then that’s their loss.
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DynamicCouple36
7 years ago
Many of them believe That just because this is a swinging / online dating site, that it will be easy to get you into bed, quickly. Many will tell you what they think you want to hear, simply to get you into bed. We have, today, had a young chap wanting to meet us (we placed a date in datefinder). He insisted that he meet us in our hotel room. We told him that, for obvious reasons, we preferred to first meet in a public place. He kept on insisting, via numerous messages that he would only ( for discretion & privacy reasons) meet with us in our hotel room. In the end we told him to go and pester someone else
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HotNightsGC
7 years ago
Agree with RedMustang. Be super selective and only do what you feel safe and comfortable with doing. I never ever gave out my phone number as a single woman unless they were a FWB. I found kik was just a platform for a lot of guys trying to get unlimited amounts of photos. RHP messaging was a safe way to separate the pic hunters from the genuinely interested guys. Whatever method you choose, go with your instincts. Hope you have fun in the process :-) Ms HNP xx
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teamaj2
7 years ago
Good question ! Congratulations for being brave enough to put up a profile as a single female . I agree with all the other replies ! It’s your journey do not feel pressured to chat via any means you are not comfortable with .With kik you can always block someone if you feel unsafe at any time . Don’t feel pressured to send endless amounts of pics or meet up at someone’s house . As was already said , a public place for a drink , coffee etc would give you a good indication if u want to proceed . We are a couple but we like to chat first , some do not . It gives us an indication if we would be comfortable to go further to a meet . We have been very lucky and only met fabulous people via RHP . We think it’s important to follow your gut instinct , if it feels wrong don’t proceed . Enjoy the journey !goodluck x
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countrytouch82
7 years ago
To answer most of the questions asked: If meeting/messaging a single woman, I am after the equivalent of conventional dating but with someone I know has a sex positive view on life. I am hoping for something to lead to a relationship but I know connections are often wonderful and worthwhile for both people on a more simple basis, even down to a FB. But this means, my messaging and conversation is about finding if we have a connection of personalities/chemistry, conversation, attraction and intention. I've never had a bad experience; only experiences that didn't continue as I would have liked per se, including those not choosing to pursue anything after a first date/message/platonic interest etc. There are very few real women in person (as opposed to the many fake profiles) that get me suspicious. If I message a partnered woman, or a couple or group about play interest etc, the approach is still essentially similar: trying to find out if I might be a suitable person for her/them and our shared needs and interests. With anyone, my policy is to leave the ball in their court at first, I never write about possible scenarios past meeting for coffee unless they mention specifically about unique interests in their profile. If so I will still put no pressure, only invite them to converse with me regarding any thoughts, advice or experience I have and can offer. I have been told though that the no pressure approach can lead to being "friendzoned". Which I guess is fine too, as I do love the friendships I have made here also... However...
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RHP User
7 years ago
I'd be very careful giving out your phone number or personal email... it is possible for online scammers to use it to reset passwords and such. I have an email specifically for online activity, mainly for avoiding all the spam that comes with joining sites like these... In terms of actual meet ups, I haven't had a lot and most end up looking completely different in the flesh... I'm a big believer in energy or whatever you like to call it. I like to try and catch up after a little bit of chatting because most I've met up with we chat away happily and sometimes flirt online but when you meet there's nothing really there... saves a lot of messages... I try and organize meeting up for coffee or a drink somewhere, it may put off some women but to be honest there seems to be a lot of women who only want to chat and flirt online and use it like Instagram... Let's face it... even guys have to be careful these days, but I do know of women who would go home with a complete stranger from bar but insist on chatting for 3 months online before meeting... I don't understand the sense in that... For me though, the meet up really is about vetting, and the chances of me saying thanks but no thanks is just as high...
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RHP User
7 years ago
Hi. I,m old enough to be your Mom. so that being the case I don't get many looking at me or asking to spend time with myself I do most of the asking and arranging a meetup place for a cupper and long before that I ask for their photo age and many other details about them if nothing is given I treat them as scammers and I make that well known , If after that some one does have an interest in myself then we write for quite a while nothing less than 6 weeks and some for 3 months if it just sex they wont and nothing more they wont hang around long , you see he who is real and show,s them selfs for who they are then they stay in contact. Yes I have had 2 who only wonted to meet me ay my own home and he never let up so I said its not going to happen he could not be trusted at all , those who are for real will wait , I do invite people here at home just I make sure of them first, , I also explain my background as is written on this forum different yes and the truth, I,v nothing to hide so it goes both ways as far as I,m concerned I,m 71 so don't expect many to be interested so for younger ones I,m on the out side and that's okay , Just have a back up in place let your close friend know where you are what your doing and where you go tell the club mang or who,s in charge if some thing is not right and get your friend to pick you up just have a safe guard in place , and be very wary if you drink don't leave it for some one to spike it …..DONT EVER...... be intimidated , or embarrassed by a male who has only one thing on his mind ,, don't let sex rule you just be carefull, okay from a MOM..... ...noeleena...
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RHP User
7 years ago
Some only want a root. There's a lot more variables of course.
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MsSuperFoxy
7 years ago
Welcome to the world of Pie, where absolutely nothing is discreet. I mean nothing! Play safe and be safe. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
7 years ago
Hmmm.... There’s only one expectation I have when chatting to people... They’re honest with themselves.... When people are honest with themselves, then they’re honest with me...What this means, is that they have boundaries, and they don’t cross them for the sake of a fuck... I don’t have any pre-conceived views as to how any of my interactions go with others. Sometimes they’re awkward, sometimes it flows...I just use my perception a lot and run with it....
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EarthQueen
7 years ago
Hi I know you asked for men’s opinions but just wanted to say. With your age and looks you can basically have anything you want on here and that’s the honest truth. You seem sweet, just don’t be too naive and remember you set the rules for you. Don’t put yourself in any position where you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Even when messaging you can stop at any time. If you are getting any sense of something not feeling right say no. Having said that you can also have heaps of fun just play smart. Some( not all) men will tell you any BS to get laid. There’s also many good guys on here as well Good luck x
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RHP User
7 years ago
I've been here less than a week. I've been approached for things that are not on my profile, I've also had the "are you horny" opening line. I'm here to see if there's people are that I can connect with, I don't judge on photos (though I like them) it's about chatting, then going somewhere public and checking the in person vibe. For me, I'm treating it the same as any dating site, with the exception that there is more open discussion about sexual preferences. That doesn't mean I want to talk about them within the first few lines, I'm still expecting to be respected as a person, not an object.
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RHP User
7 years ago
...and I never initiate contact with ladies or couples via flirt or message. This is because I suspect they're already bombarded with these from other men, but mainly because being shy it's not in my nature to initiate. On the rare occasion I have been contacted here, the conversation has been cordial and pleasant...probably because there was no pressure on the part of the lady/couple. Enjoy your time here and good luck in your search.
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RHP User
7 years ago
- Stick to what you are seeking.. - Only ever meet in public, if he is into you then he will also with NO hesitation. - Watch out for red flags. You're instinct is right. - Always have a back up plan. - Don't message for too long, hunters will only tell you what you want to hear. - Stay mysterious. Telling a smart hunter will give him ammo if you open up too much. - It's ok to say "No thanks,you're not for me. Expect the abuse tho but also don't forget to block and move on. - Mostly only do what ever feels right for you and take the lighter side of life. Enjoy your journey. It is fun and empowering. Good luck..
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Mask_007
7 years ago
Hi OP. I tend to agree with the majority of people on this. Is very much how do you see things and if is that what are you looking for. And like some other Express they opinion, sometimes is a deeper connection as FWB. All the best.
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Mask_007
7 years ago
P.s. you are a very gorgeous woman. Don't forget you have the upper hand to decide if is that what you want... Best if luck Gorgeous
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curiousnhorny05
7 years ago
Obviously I’m a chick responding. Set your standards high whatever they are and expect any potential to meet them. When I’ve been burnt on here it’s because I compromised. The most important aspect is making sure that your interests are compatible. But it’s hard when some people aren’t discrete. I don’t share my number often. I don’t go to Kim straight away and even then the number of guys I’ve met haven’t been from kik mainly RHP. Like anything stay safe and be prepared for random stuff. Listen to your gut. And most of all have fun! There’s lots to be had.
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RHP User
7 years ago
Hi Blondie, Welcome to the RHP forums! Mr Bris here speaking from my separate adventures with ladies without Mrs Bris along. Great question, and first I just want to agree with EarthQueen that with your age and hotness, you will be served up every kind of man you could ever kind of wish for. I would expect that you would get dozens of message a day. Single men get a big fat 0 messages daily where women get dozens if not hundreds per day. Kind of how it works on RHP. So now to your questions and I will answer based on my adventures on my own without Mrs Bris. So men - I put it to you.. If you found a female you were attracted to: - how would you want the conversation to go? Answer: Straight to the point and no fluff. Men are naturally poorer conversationalists as compared to women - what would you want to know about them first? Answer: What you were looking for out of making contact. One off, regular FWB, go to clubs together, meet as a couple with other couples etc.....I see from your profile that you are just after a regular FWB but for a guy not to play around too much......Most guys will not read through your profile as they are much more visual, so you should tell them this up front so as not to waste too much time. - how would you prefer to communicate with them? Answer: Start off with RHP a few messages and then move to KIK as it is just easier and usually you can send pics and videos much more frequently (if this is your thing). NEVER give out your mobile number unless you have met the person and you have agreed to meet again. - what would make you concerned or suspicious? Answer: Most guys would not be concerned by this. This is more of a thing that ladies and couples would be worried about. If there was one thing, once you have moved to chat on KIK and if you are only wanting to see the guys body and you don't return the favour - I have had that happen several times and now I request a face to face (coffee or drinks meet) to gather if the lady is serious or stuffing me around to get her some motivation to "double click her mouse". - where would you want to meet them for the first time? Answer: Nothing too confronting - Coffee or drinks with some chat and then on the second meet clothes can be removed - what would you want to do with them the first time? Answer: See above or if you are talking about clothes off, well then just to concentrate on fulfilling their needs above mine. I have found that most women also get satisfaction from me cumming too. I have found that most women have feelings of inadequacy and that she has failed to please me and that usually stops any second meet up. - would this be different if you were after something potentially ongoing as opposed to a one nighter? Answer: If you questions related to the question. Not a chance in hell, stick to the plan. - have you had any bad experiences? Answer: Stacks. But in the end, there are two parties involved and there are always going to be some awkward moments. If you are prepared to look past these awkward moments and concentrate on fulfilling your potential partner's needs (but also by being yourself and not compromising) then things go well and you have a great time and a few laughs and becomes great friends and lovers. Some will work and others will not and you just have to be true to yourself.
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coolridge098
7 years ago
Of course meet first for a coffee/drink and a chat. Chat on here or other platforms are a good start. Good icebreaker I think almost every guy on here is after sex, but without a conversation first, it doesn’t work for me! But I might be speaking a little of of school as I’m new to this too and can be a little shy too 😛
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RHP User
7 years ago
HiLike you I'm new to this site I would say for women you have to be careful. I would guess that majority on this site are guys who are looking to hook up. I also suspect that I will probably not get any interest from women and will probably never meet up with any or even get msg, likes etc. So good luck to you stay safe
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BlazingSilverFox
7 years ago
So men - I put it to you.. If you found a female you were attracted to: - how would you want the conversation to go? - While this site is obviously more of a hook up site that a hopeless romantic site I guess it usually be more blunt and to the point. Not saying I have faultless morals BUT I prefer to chat or talk to ladies or couples before setting them or myself up for disappointment. The issue with RHP is the limited chat capability so I quickly realized that KIK is the way to go. Using KIK or an alternative still enables you to hold the power to block if it goes bad. Maybe it is the parental instinct coming out but DO NOT VISIT A HOUSE if you do not know them, and if you do DO NOT GO ALONE. - what would you want to know about them first? - I like to expand on the interests that they have listed, if any. I am genuinely a people person and like to have some form of connection. Of course I want to find sex like most guys here but not at the expense of my morals or values. - how would you prefer to communicate with them? - I am a mature guy so actually like the phone, but this comes after KIK. - what would make you concerned or suspicious? - When girls MUCH younger msg you. I worked out quickly that if it looks to good to be true it probably is. I am positive that there are SCAMS on RHP but at this point I believe I am in the wrong age group and a bit to savy to fall for them. - where would you want to meet them for the first time? - Cafe fits with me. A place with people as I feel that this is required for ALL meetings when you are a woman and especially if you are a gorgeous young woman like you are. - what would you want to do with them the first time? - Talk would be a great start. If there is chemistry then what ever feels right. - would this be different if you were after something potentially ongoing as opposed to a one nighter? - Not sure what this question means. I would like to start all dates the same regardless of my hopeful intention. - have you had any bad experiences? - Not yet but as a NEWB I am sure it will happen. I hope this helps
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Tall74nHard9
7 years ago
the poor young lady has been either overwhelmed or frightened off.Hope she returns to further her wishes. Tall
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RHP User
6 years ago
Well I definitely know what I want lol do women know what tha want !? Want do women like I’d like love to chat with women That are keen to chat about this lol
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RHP User
6 years ago
Personally, I would like to chat first and get to know some basic details. Then if there is an interest, meet at a public place. I always give the option to the woman so that she decides where it is comfortable for her. Just coffee or drinks need to be discussed. Then if there is a chemistry (yes, a lot of things may not be right after the meet), decide where to proceed to have the fun. The decision needs to be mutual and comfortable to both. No forcing at any point.At the same time I hate time wasters. So better to be honest, upfront and be respectful of other's time.
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RHP User
6 years ago
Men like to win.
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RHP User
6 years ago
Profile The first thing I would do is visit their profile. If it tells you nothing about them in the section to write what your looking for drop them like a hot potato. Someone that puts a bit of effort into their profile are obviously going to be more genuine. Chat / email on rhp. Get your self anther email address that does not disclose you identity and use that as opposed to your regular email address. Exchange pics if there a none on his profile. If he’s not willing to chat or do facial pics drop him. Meet in a public place ! DON’T do phone numbers till after you have meet and seen him a couple of times. Anyone genuine will understand a ladies need to be careful
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Sawadee
6 years ago
So what do men want ? I cant answer for all men ' only myself, and that is to first 'chat to get a feel if its worthwhile moving on to meet for a face to face coffee to get a feel if worthwhile hooking up for a date or even a sexual connection. IGetting a feel for someone you never meet before takes time and effort ' i feel the initial meetings are the only way ...
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