M53
What is it with women "not available"?
July 14 2011
Comments
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RHP User
14 years ago
Sorry you had to experience this. Obviously these two women are the exception and not the rule and for you (poor unfortunate man) to have recieved two such messages....makes me wonder what sort of women you are chatting to? It sounds as if these two ladies may be trying to politely give you the brush off by taking the blame upon themselves. Admittedly the wording they have used make them sound just a little ...flakey.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Thanks for your feedback fionabee. Yeah, it's just not those two. I've had probably about half a dozen now. It's a reason I am no longer a paying member. Hopefully there are some great women on here who aren't such flakes and are interested in meeting guys and not just adding us to a "friends list".
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RHP User
14 years ago
You could always look at it from another point of view! A: They may have joined thinking this is an avenue to perhaps meet a few nice guys and meet some of their needs, wants, desires only to find that perhaps RHP is not for them. Or B: Perhaps they felt like things were at a point where to get out they needed to do it nicely and make a clean break. Or C: They just were no longer into you or it in general !! ( no disrespect intended) Or many other reason... rather than wonder why and most likely you’re never going to understand Just get back on the horse and move on ..NEXT
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RHP User
14 years ago
Dear Fun I understand your post. I have met the same although in the male form. Seriously, they sound really genuine and nice in their responses. They are being honest, although you may think they have given you the run around, they are being polite before things go further. My advice is, give it a time frame, after a few messages, a couple of chats then perhaps a date or a rendezvous..listen to your instincts..if she is quacking like a duck, she is a duck... Don't waste endless time, cut to the chase.. You will soon find out if you are going to get the run around. Doesn't everyone say here, there are sooooo many girls!!!! Good Luck xxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
To me it sounds like they've decided they've decided they're not interested and are pulling the old "it's not you, it's me" line.The one I tend to use (but this is with people I've played with and don't want to see anymore) is "I had a really good time with you but I'm seeing someone now and would like to see how that goes".Except one dude I said this to kept smsing ALL the time. I finally realised he thought I meant I'm seeing someone "tonight"!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Mr Rendezvous It does seem that you have taken a snippet of my email, and completely turned it around to take it out of context in order to support your argument... Keeping in mind that you had received an email from me advising that I was taking a break from rhp for a little while, in explanation as to why my profile was no longer visible.... Then I sent the email that you had partially referenced in this thread 4 days later... I suspect that you wouldn't have thought that I may pop back into rhp from time to time to read the forums, nor be the type of person to defend myself against accusations of game playing (which I find insulting.)...Although to be fair, you probably wouldn't know this about me considering we had only been in contact for a little over one week and had not yet met.... As often is the case in life, circumstances can change very quickly - circumstances that have no bearing on whether the fairer sex have their life figured out or not... Circumstances which I informed you of in a polite and respectful manner. So for all and sundry to see so should they wish to comment, they can do so in an informed way - here is the email in full; Hi (name withheld) Sorry for the delay - have been unseasonably busy. Just a quick email to let you know that at this moment in time, my life has changed considerably (break up of relationship, selling house, new job!) and I feel that I really must try and centre myself first, prior to engaging in any dalliances be that sexual or otherwise. I am sorry for the run around - this truly was not my intention. I've really enjoyed chatting to you and wish you the very best of luck in your search. Cheers (name withheld)
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RHP User
14 years ago
If men dont wish to hear the old "its not you it's me" line how else should it be done?? I would be very interested in some feed back on what is the appropiate way to bow out gracefully.... Love2
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RHP User
14 years ago
Oh well that puts a new spin on it ... this is going to be a fun read from here on in Thanks for the update and good to see your up and about
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RHP User
14 years ago
And yes there are two sides to every story. The basic gist of my post which I was trying to convey, is it seems like over the last few months this situation has occurred more often then not.Start communicating with someone, then within a fortnight they realize "they need a break", "shouldn't be on here", or something else. And in each case it was always said, "truly not my intention".Although possible, I find it hard to believe I've hit that winning lotto ticket of corresponding with women go through this where "life suddenly" changes or something. With all due respect, although possible, a "break up", "selling house", and "new job" typically don't all happen over a weekend, which, in my mind, says at least some of these things were going on before we at least started corresponding. Thus, my question again -- why do women sign up to such sites if there's already so much going on in one's life to begin with?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Kicking back in those Gold Class seats again. | I think the 8 ball just dropped in on the break though...game over and rack them again. | Ahh well...beats watching golf.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hand me the popcorn :)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'FunRendezvous' Thus, my question again -- why do women sign up to such sites if there's already so much going on in one's life to begin with? Even if she was just invoking "it's not you, it's me", it's just a kind way of saying that she's decided that she's not into you, but here are plenty of less generous ways of doing that. Look at it critically and learn - maybe you're getting too familiar too quickly or something. Don't complain about it - try to get something positive out of it. Rue the women who don't even bother to answer - you learn nothing from them...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Kicking back in those Gold Class seats again. | I think the 8 ball just dropped in on the break though...game over and rack them again. | Ahh well...beats watching golf. Quoting 'jdex72'Hand me the popcorn :) Ask reeeally nicely, and I might even butter it for you! . Flirty Flirty x
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'FunRendezvous'And yes there are two sides to every story. The basic gist of my post which I was trying to convey, is it seems like over the last few months this situation has occurred more often then not.Start communicating with someone, then within a fortnight they realize "they need a break", "shouldn't be on here", or something else. And in each case it was always said, "truly not my intention".Although possible, I find it hard to believe I've hit that winning lotto ticket of corresponding with women go through this where "life suddenly" changes or something. With all due respect, although possible, a "break up", "selling house", and "new job" typically don't all happen over a weekend, which, in my mind, says at least some of these things were going on before we at least started corresponding. Thus, my question again -- why do women sign up to such sites if there's already so much going on in one's life to begin with?Maybe it really is you and they are too nice to say so directly
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Kicking back in those Gold Class seats again. | I think the 8 ball just dropped in on the break though...game over and rack them again. | Ahh well...beats watching golf. Quoting 'jdex72'Hand me the popcorn :) Ask reeeally nicely, and I might even butter it for you! . Flirty Flirty x But, you may sit on my lap if you like. And we can talk about the first thing that pops............In this instance, it might even actually be the popcorn! More butter please... *grins*
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'FunRendezvous'And yes there are two sides to every story. The basic gist of my post which I was trying to convey, is it seems like over the last few months this situation has occurred more often then not.Start communicating with someone, then within a fortnight they realize "they need a break", "shouldn't be on here", or something else. And in each case it was always said, "truly not my intention".Although possible, I find it hard to believe I've hit that winning lotto ticket of corresponding with women go through this where "life suddenly" changes or something. With all due respect, although possible, a "break up", "selling house", and "new job" typically don't all happen over a weekend, which, in my mind, says at least some of these things were going on before we at least started corresponding. Thus, my question again -- why do women sign up to such sites if there's already so much going on in one's life to begin with?I agree Mr funrendezvous alot on here i think maybe just on for a chat.... as my partner finds the same thing and some guys i have chatted too and met say the same, but having said that im a cple and have young children so things can change rapidly which single men sometimes cant comprhend . I do think men get the raw deal on here and the ratio is huge and ladies it would be decent if you answered messsages when paid memebers make the effort to message you.I understand you may get a lot of them , even if you make up a template i think its the least you can do. Women do rule the site i think and its probably like a lolly shop in here for most women and reading some of the single womens profile you would think they are gods gift to men but dont mislead them if you are not going to carry it thru ... good luck guys!! you may have to go thru 100 to get a good egg so to speak.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Who knows? Maybe it seemed like a good idea at the time and it doesn't now. At least these women have been polite enough to give you an honest and compassionate answer, there's a lot of people who could just as easily vanish without a word and see you I can see how it's frustrating, but it's a choice that really needs to be respected and not just shrugged off as game-playing. Game-playing would be ganking all your x-rated pics and disappearing into the sunset, or arranging to meet and just no-showing and vanishing into nowhere.
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N4November
14 years ago
I'd say at least you're getting a polite 'no' response back - even if you don't like how they justify it. . But I must say at the risk of sounding 'flakey' - I do go through periods of wanting to meet people then normal life takes over which makes it impossible.... . So my advice is to seize the opportunity when you click with someone and cut to the chase by actually meeting them. Some of my best encounters (that in most cases became a FWB relationship) started exactly like this - very spontaneous and so glad my instincts were right!!! xxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'KD7884' Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Kicking back in those Gold Class seats again. | I think the 8 ball just dropped in on the break though...game over and rack them again. | Ahh well...beats watching golf. Quoting 'jdex72'Hand me the popcorn :) Ask reeeally nicely, and I might even butter it for you! . Flirty Flirty x But, you may sit on my lap if you like. And we can talk about the first thing that pops............In this instance, it might even actually be the popcorn! More butter please... *grins* Sorry hotstuff, that seat has my name written all over it! . However, you are welcome to sit between my legs ... just be sure to keep your head down, I don't want to miss any of the action!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hey...if this movie is going to be another one of those fuckin' Harry Potter flicks, let's go next door. They're showing porn over there. No wait...a couple of hot chicks with great boobs just came on to the screen, let' stay. Pass the choc tops and an ashtray...it's okay to smoke a cohiba in here.|...now, who stole my scotch.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'FunRendezvous' With all due respect, although possible, a "break up", "selling house", and "new job" typically don't all happen over a weekend, which, in my mind, says at least some of these things were going on before we at least started corresponding. Thus, my question again -- why do women sign up to such sites if there's already so much going on in one's life to begin with? FR, | Of course these things didnt happen over a weekend... I clearly stated in my profile that I had just recently broken up from a relationship and was only looking for some light hearted physical release on occasion; with someone I had a mental and physical connection with.... With this being my intention when I responded to your flirt.... | However, sometimes life gets in the way of best laid plans and what seemed like a good idea at the time in thinking - yes I can definitely juggle the constraints of a newly separated ex, selling a house and starting a new position at work together with meeting someone new - was in hindsight, not a realistic goal for the type of person that I am... But when we initially communicated I was still in the moment of thinking it was quite achievable and I could juggle all of it. | Have you never thrown your hands up in the air and said "something's gotta give" when it becomes blindly obvious that you aren't able to give it 100%. Well that something for me was not meeting anyone new from rhp - which is why I hid my profile... | What I take exception to is that you are tarring me with the same brush that you have used with other women who may well have fed you a line in the past.... Then you lump us all together and quite unimaginatively title it as not having our shit together/being flakey etc etc... | I would say that by definition I have shown you that I do have my shit together by informing you of my situation, apologizing to you for the unintended run around and then hiding my profile so as not to further confuse the matter. | Would you rather the alternative, which is no message at all... | Not much more I can say really...... | | Oh apart from....... ~~ Hope the audience is having fun in their gold class seats viewing the unfolding entertainment ~~
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RHP User
14 years ago
"I shouldn't really be on here" what a comment!. That says to me "I'm really craving a good hard fucking, but my repressed upbringing means it also makes me feel like a slut and I can't handle it!".LOL, "I shouldn't be no here!" comments like that are worth the admission fee alone!. Just visualise them on a recliner!, "I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo horny, I've been on a sex site and everything, I just can't stop wanking!, please help me!".
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RHP User
14 years ago
"It's not me, it's YOU!".
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think Popcorn has over-taken the topic at hand......perhaps not a bad thing. J
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'jdex72' I think Popcorn has over-taken the topic at hand......perhaps not a bad thing. I agree. If I was OP, I'd be heading away from this one pretty quickly...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' Sorry hotstuff, that seat has my name written all over it! . However, you are welcome to sit between my legs ... just be sure to keep your head down, I don't want to miss any of the action! Well now!! Then how am I supposed to watch the show?? Or drink CM's scotch that I cleverly stole? (Sorry CM...it was just sitting there. I'll go get a bottle shall I?) Using me for your devious ways...Thats just wrong...on so many levels!! But not quite as wrong as this... *puts head down*.....Whoa! Less butter, less butter, LESS BUTTER!!!!! *grins cheekily*
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'joinparis1973'Not much more I can say really...... | | Oh apart from....... ~~ Hope the audience is having fun in their gold class seats viewing the unfolding entertainment ~~ Shit JP...now I feel a little guilty. But if it's any consolation, I only came for the popcorn and scotch....really, honest i did!!And you are being judged JP...you always will be. But in this instance, not badly. Sometimes, shit really does just happen. Atleast you have the decency to acknowledge it, own it, and get on with things. Thats more than can be said for a lot of people... *smiles*
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RHP User
14 years ago
You know...normally I walk away from Gold Class thinking... "naaaa....it was a good show but not really worth the price of these seats". In this case...I think you have just given meaning and cause for the theatre to set up a small Platinum Class and worth all the popcorn and peanuts I won't be able to afford anyway... | Quoting 'joinparis1973' ~~ Hope the audience is having fun in their gold class seats viewing the unfolding entertainment ~~ Forget Holllywood...I am just praying you are never the prosecutor if I am being tried for a capital offense. Don't know about the OP, but right about now I think I would scream out ... "Okay, I am guilty" and beg for the mercy of the court. | You are hereby awarded the Oscar for Lifetime Achievement...now please do follow the red carpet out to the waiting limousine. And don't forget to sign my autograph book... | ...you know I'm a fan.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'KD7884' Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' Sorry hotstuff, that seat has my name written all over it! . However, you are welcome to sit between my legs ... just be sure to keep your head down, I don't want to miss any of the action! Well now!! Then how am I supposed to watch the show?? Or drink CM's scotch that I cleverly stole? (Sorry CM...it was just sitting there. I'll go get a bottle shall I?) Using me for your devious ways...Thats just wrong...on so many levels!! But not quite as wrong as this... *puts head down*.....Whoa! Less butter, less butter, LESS BUTTER!!!!! *grins cheekily* .. . You should update more often! . Holy mother of f**k! It's like Christmas in July!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' You should update more often! . Holy mother of f**k! It's like Christmas in July! Dammit woman!!! Don't tell the world!! Just take your Christmas present, and let me go back flying under the radar! Seriously though, glad you like. And maybe...just maybe...I will update a little more often... *smiles*
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Dork_Doggler
14 years ago
Hi Joinparis1973, I'm not particularly interested in the topic or er...dude. Rather I was hoping that you might check in again to see how the forum had progressed. Hope to see your profile available again soon and would love the chance to chat with you if it was. Those gold seats do sound as though they're having fun
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RHP User
14 years ago
damn: i dont know who was holding the popcorn in the dark, but, what i grabbed and had pop in my hand certainly wasn't CORN
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'joinparis1973' Quoting 'FunRendezvous' With all due respect, although possible, a "break up", "selling house", and "new job" typically don't all happen over a weekend, which, in my mind, says at least some of these things were going on before we at least started corresponding. Thus, my question again -- why do women sign up to such sites if there's already so much going on in one's life to begin with? FR, | Of course these things didnt happen over a weekend... I clearly stated in my profile that I had just recently broken up from a relationship and was only looking for some light hearted physical release on occasion; with someone I had a mental and physical connection with.... With this being my intention when I responded to your flirt.... | However, sometimes life gets in the way of best laid plans and what seemed like a good idea at the time in thinking - yes I can definitely juggle the constraints of a newly separated ex, selling a house and starting a new position at work together with meeting someone new - was in hindsight, not a realistic goal for the type of person that I am... But when we initially communicated I was still in the moment of thinking it was quite achievable and I could juggle all of it. | Have you never thrown your hands up in the air and said "something's gotta give" when it becomes blindly obvious that you aren't able to give it 100%. Well that something for me was not meeting anyone new from rhp - which is why I hid my profile... | What I take exception to is that you are tarring me with the same brush that you have used with other women who may well have fed you a line in the past.... Then you lump us all together and quite unimaginatively title it as not having our shit together/being flakey etc etc... | I would say that by definition I have shown you that I do have my shit together by informing you of my situation, apologizing to you for the unintended run around and then hiding my profile so as not to further confuse the matter. | Would you rather the alternative, which is no message at all... | Not much more I can say really...... | | Oh apart from....... ~~ Hope the audience is having fun in their gold class seats viewing the unfolding entertainment ~~ Just wanted to say I HEAR YOU SISTER and the OP is being just utterly ridiculous in questioning why do we sign up if there is too much going on in our lives?! WTF??? This is a new one for me on my on and off RHP'n over the last 10 months grrrr BUSY does not = game playing. How dare do you allude to the fact that people with busy (and sometimes complicated and difficult times inbetween) do not have the right to be a member on here and read forums, chat to people and meet ones that they desire too? hmpf! P.S. Fun Meat has the right idea lol! reminds me of movie Heathers and BIG FUN, is your FUN MEAT, BIG?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Paris 2 Fun Rendev 0
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'fionabee' Sorry you had to experience this. Obviously these two women are the exception and not the rule and for you (poor unfortunate man) to have recieved two such messages....makes me wonder what sort of women you are chatting to? It sounds as if these two ladies may be trying to politely give you the brush off by taking the blame upon themselves. Admittedly the wording they have used make them sound just a little ...flakey. actually I'd beg to differ (realising i'm making a larger general statement than anything else) but I found that those types of responses are the norm rather than the exception, particularly on dating sites and especially 'sex' sites... and more often than not have found they don't really mean what's written, rather, "its YOU I'm not interested in but can't bring myself to say it" or words to that effect.. yes, in some cases it may be true, in many I find its not. How do I know? Well, if you received those messages, then saw that same person online every single day for weeks on end, would you think "oh yes that person really isn't available and is working on themselves without screwing anyone round" or "gee, they said that to me but their actions say something VERY different"... my personal position now is to look for congruence between what they say, and what they do. Yes yes men do it too I'm well aware of the duality of the situation..and yes I realise women no doubt have the same experiences...my point being, don't take the written word at its word, so to speak..that is if you really give a damn! Its all a doddle anyway
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RHP User
14 years ago
They're obviously here for the forums , it's not rocket science. And I think that JoinParis has justified herself more than she actually needs to. . Let me say it louder for the hard of understanding, "Fucking no is still no boys, no matter how long you stand there wringing your hands" And she said it a hell of a lot nicer than I would've You boys whinge when you get no reply at all , then you whinge again when you get a polite reply that doesn't fit your wishes. And no that wasn't necessarily directed straight at the OP (though it may apply) but in general. How many threads do we hear about no replies? and here we are with the wrong replies as well LOL.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'D_G_T'You boys whinge when you get no reply at all , then you whinge again when you get a polite reply that doesn't fit your wishes. And no that wasn't necessarily directed straight at the OP (though it may apply) but in general. How many threads do we hear about no replies? and here we are with the wrong replies as well LOL. I don't think that's being completely fair - "you boys" seems to be used to cover a big group with diverse opinions. As one who "whinges when women don't reply", I haven't offered any support to the OP - quite the opposite, in fact.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Not you Snowshoe just the 'boys' in a lot of recent threads (lol and old ones) with the no reply thing. And maybe those with 5+ years of very successful internet dating experience with young and old fems
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RHP User
14 years ago
Charles_Dickens:so he is questioning I think....why are they even here at all, if they are busy....??...That is exactly what I was asking. D_G_T: what everyone doesn't know yet is thatwith the one person who responded to my post that I was talking about (JoinParis), I had suggested meeting, but she didn't get my email until after the suggested date/time, but asked about a raincheck for another time. I said no worries. Then when I wrote an email a day later asking how her weekend and other events went, that's when the "life's suddenly changed" response came back.So (at least initially) there was the interest in meeting up so the sole interest just wasn't in the forums. That's why I was questioning why be on here in the first place then. I don't care that it was f*cking no; I wonder why there's more flakes on here than in my cereal?
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RHP User
14 years ago
that's a charming, thoughtful and kindly worded reply. Good on you. I hope your new job, home and future relationships are equally worthy.Quoting 'joinparis1973' Mr Rendezvous It does seem that you have taken a snippet of my email, and completely turned it around to take it out of context in order to support your argument... Keeping in mind that you had received an email from me advising that I was taking a break from rhp for a little while, in explanation as to why my profile was no longer visible.... Then I sent the email that you had partially referenced in this thread 4 days later... I suspect that you wouldn't have thought that I may pop back into rhp from time to time to read the forums, nor be the type of person to defend myself against accusations of game playing (which I find insulting.)...Although to be fair, you probably wouldn't know this about me considering we had only been in contact for a little over one week and had not yet met.... As often is the case in life, circumstances can change very quickly - circumstances that have no bearing on whether the fairer sex have their life figured out or not... Circumstances which I informed you of in a polite and respectful manner. So for all and sundry to see so should they wish to comment, they can do so in an informed way - here is the email in full; Hi (name withheld) Sorry for the delay - have been unseasonably busy. Just a quick email to let you know that at this moment in time, my life has changed considerably (break up of relationship, selling house, new job!) and I feel that I really must try and centre myself first, prior to engaging in any dalliances be that sexual or otherwise. I am sorry for the run around - this truly was not my intention. I've really enjoyed chatting to you and wish you the very best of luck in your search. Cheers (name withheld)
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RHP User
14 years ago
Come on guys, we've talked to you and decided that your not really what we want. Do you want us to say p.... off or do you want us to sugarcoat it and say we're busy. I'm with the others I always try to reply, and nicely at that. I'm not here to offend anyone just have a good time. Sometimes life does get in the way, however, I always try to make time for my RHP friends.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'FunRendezvous'Charles_Dickens:so he is questioning I think....why are they even here at all, if they are busy....??...That is exactly what I was asking. D_G_T: what everyone doesn't know yet is thatwith the one person who responded to my post that I was talking about (JoinParis), I had suggested meeting, but she didn't get my email until after the suggested date/time, but asked about a raincheck for another time. I said no worries. Then when I wrote an email a day later asking how her weekend and other events went, that's when the "life's suddenly changed" response came back.So (at least initially) there was the interest in meeting up so the sole interest just wasn't in the forums. That's why I was questioning why be on here in the first place then. I don't care that it was f*cking no; I wonder why there's more flakes on here than in my cereal? Ok I'll give you that much about the initial interest, but as soon as the other person changes their mind, and this can be for whatever the cause, they don't even have to give you a reason to be honest. The simple fact they have changed their mind and that means 'move on'. There is absolutely nothing to be gained by picking it apart and analysing it. If girls do this it's called being clingy/needy/stalkerish.........regardless though of who does it, it serves no purpose to you or them. No-one owes anyone on this site anything and it really does pay to not take everything to heart. You'll end up a wreck and god forbid even start posting in bold purple to MAKE everyone read what you have to say, because very few people would otherwise. . Look chin up, move on, don't be hard on her or yourself, take a positive out of it, you at least got a very polite response where many don't
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RHP User
14 years ago
Anybody want a beer whilst I'm up? I didn't know this was going to end up being a movie about France in the late 1700s with a couple of guys trying to attack Paris and the final scenes straight from the Place de la Revolution. Who was that legend that said "To punish the oppressors of humanity is clemency; to forgive them is barbarity"...oh yeah that was Robespierre. |Maximilien, I don't think you are going to like the way this ends...but we all loose our heads sometimes.|Domestic okay or do you prefer an import...and save my seat! | Way cool in 3D too...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Call me fuzzy CM , you even lost me with that one..........but Im blaming the fact that my head is still shaking from side to side with someone thinking Barney has got it right
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RHP User
14 years ago
Fun I've had a lot of that to.Men dramas, head games, mind***** lies.It happens it seems men and woman do it.Internet dating so many people just have no intentions of meeting up.Yup it happens suck it up!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Krissy_G' Quoting 'FunRendezvous'Charles_Dickens:so he is questioning I think....why are they even here at all, if they are busy....??...That is exactly what I was asking. D_G_T: what everyone doesn't know yet is thatwith the one person who responded to my post that I was talking about (JoinParis), I had suggested meeting, but she didn't get my email until after the suggested date/time, but asked about a raincheck for another time. I said no worries. Then when I wrote an email a day later asking how her weekend and other events went, that's when the "life's suddenly changed" response came back.So (at least initially) there was the interest in meeting up so the sole interest just wasn't in the forums. That's why I was questioning why be on here in the first place then. I don't care that it was f*cking no; I wonder why there's more flakes on here than in my cereal? Really does sound like your a bit bitter and twisted about rejection to success ratio. I have every right to be here no matter what my motivation is. I haven't been on here much the last 2 months, coz errr I HAVE BEEN BUSY?! Not the 'proper' behaviour i am now learning. Fuck there are soooo many rules that i keep missing? Everything in my life just maxed out my time, so RHP time went WAY down, so i logged on a few times and this is a message i get from a charming chap, after a guy sent me a couple 2 liner messages (that i hadn't read): "So your another lady here too impolite to reply, good on you hope this site is tonic for your ego." I have had much worse, this one was super mild, but it is all in the timing, he was the straw that just tipped my camel back (stressful times, needed to let someone have it!), i told him what i thought, beat him in the word count! there were a couple back and forths straight after (heated!), plus SOOOO clear he hadn't even read my profile anyway.. so the last message from him was: "Actually i have just reported you, people like you make this site an unpleasent place. Good night " LOL! I blocked the angry bitter man, he was older than me and should just know better really?! I have other peeps who write messages that just have to be responded to! so they are a pleasure to reply to first, the one liners are all the same blerrr now....
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RHP User
14 years ago
sorry to disapoint u mate but i dont play games the guys i have meet however do they play mind games n lie.i have met a few nice guys on here but there is 1 who i do like n he doesnt play games he tells me how it is,as do i to him this 1 person really stands out from the rest of u guys.all i get is name calling from u guys on this site that is why i have taken myself off n left my hubby here i did not sign up on here to cop shit from guys on here.mrs r.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Started out way back at the top on the thought of watching the show...and the young lady in question fielding the responses. | During the French revolution (Paris is in France you know) Robespierre was infamous for his reign of terror and responsible for many of the changes in the law that lead to his own downfall. He was hauled off to the Place de la Revolution in 1794 and got the ultimate haircut that was the fashion of the day. Not pretty but highly efficient, DGT...and if it was me, I would rather stay on the good side of both you and Paris. | ...gotta love the view. | | Sometimes I just can't help it...damn, and I am perfectly sober too.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Good on you Booba and you've just inspired me to finally answer a nice message I received the other day, it went a little like this......."Why the fuck are you on here if you aren't meeting anyone new?" . what ? no helloor do you mind if I ask? . Ahhhh thanks for that CM, yep makes perfect sense now but you know Im a big fan of the slower demise, drawn and quartered has always had it's charm.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ChasingMidnight' Anybody want a beer whilst I'm up? I didn't know this was going to end up being a movie about France in the late 1700s with a couple of guys trying to attack Paris and the final scenes straight from the Place de la Revolution. Who was that legend that said "To punish the oppressors of humanity is clemency; to forgive them is barbarity"...oh yeah that was Robespierre. |Maximilien, I don't think you are going to like the way this ends...but we all loose our heads sometimes.|Domestic okay or do you prefer an import...and save my seat! | Way cool in 3D too... I don't understand what the French Revolution has to do with anything, and find it mildly ironic to see you of all people quoting "The Incorruptible". All of this aside, I'm thinking I'm rooting for Team Paris. . All I can really gather from this though, is that you have a problem CM. If you're getting "loose head", you're looking for trouble in all the wrong places!
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RHP User
14 years ago
So shoot me...just for an instant I forgot I was not logged in to the French embassy website. | Quoting 'flirty_bi_fem' I don't understand what the French Revolution has to do with anything, and find it mildly ironic to see you of all people quoting "The Incorruptible". All of this aside, I'm thinking I'm rooting for Team Paris. Briefly...attacking Paris would not be revolting and you should be ashamed of yourself for saying that, she's gorgeous. Nice save though...offering up a root is always a way to make amends. | And as for the incorruptible...there is no such thing. We all know what we are...all we really need to negotiate is the price. | Oh and happy 36th birthday...
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RHP User
14 years ago
two sides to a story, 1) getting the runaround/ game playing, with no intentions of it meaning to happen2) being let down in a polite mannerI understand that men are not too great in communicating via chat rooms/ messages, some tend to come out too forward or too blunt, i like to try and work out the type of person im dealing with via chatting/messages etc, i have what i look for and if i dont think he/she the persons i would like to meet then i respond with a reject flirt or try to say so in a manner that the persons will not be offended, some people dont know what a brush of is so you got tell em straight, everyone has their reasons, all you need to do is Harden up and move on, don't take it to heart that you are rejected, i bet you, that you are not the only one that receives messages like that in that time frame
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RHP User
14 years ago
god is this thread still going....(shakes head)
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RHP User
14 years ago
When I start to message or chat to another, I get to know them a little. After a while I realise that the spark ( at least for me ) is just not there. Just because I say "No I am sorry" in whatever words I may choose to use does not mean that I can no longer be on RHP. Looking for my elusive Knight in tarnished armour. I realised that it wasnt going to be the one I turned down. He may still harbour some hope and get a little bent out of shape about the deal and the fact that I turned him down. That does not give him the right to dictate how I should spend my time. If I want to be on line I bloody well will. It is my right and my choice! My life is hectic...sometimes at a frantic pace but I can still find the time to be on line and who has the right to tell me that I shouldnt be if I am that busy? Nobody does. She turned you down... THEY turned you down. They may have told a little lie to do so but then that is sometimes a little kinder than a simple "F*** off" which many of you seem to think it is an invitation to come on stronger. Paris asked for a rain check and Rendevous gave her a day....ONE DAY...and he was back hassling her again. One day is not a raincheck. Try not to be so bloody persistant next time. The lady turned you down... Get over it instead of whining about it.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'jdex72'god is this thread still going....(shakes head) If you got up from beside me at some stage in this rivetting carry on, what the hell has my free hand been rubbing all this time??????? :-O
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RHP User
14 years ago
Well I have to say...pop corn aside...Ive met this lovely women in question.......and shes a fantastic person through and through....I have only the best things to say about her xxx
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RHP User
14 years ago
I believe there are probably quite a few woman sitting at home in dressing gown and curlers ..... on their computer ....with 3 or 4 unruly kids running amok , husband at work , feeling the need for a man to find them desirable again ..they have no intention of ever meeting you ..they are just filling a need ....poor buggers !
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RHP User
14 years ago
exactly ovatheshit1111
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jezebel_jj
14 years ago
As my hit/miss ratio is not as dire as some i have read or heard about, i would say i could nearly split them 50/50. But in short i think honesty and being forthright are two things that i appreciate more than "no reply" or a sugarcoated response. I am a realistic person, i do not have hang ups about myself or what makes me who i am, nor am i judgemental of others. I know that i am not every bodies 'cup of tea' and have therefore grown a "thick skin" to what happens on these sites. If someone says to me "your not my type" or after several messages "i dont think we would get along due to this, this and this". I personally appreciate that more than, "im to busy" or "something has come up", as this for me makes me wonder what i have said or what have i done or if i have offended that person in some way. The "im to busy to meet" is an old line, especially if that person has had recent or currently active dates, or states in their profile wanting to meet people. From my personal point of view, even after only a week you can generally get a 'Vibe' from someone about their sincerity, especially if they are actively searching. Also, the "im to busy" response can complicate something that should not be complicated. The reason for this is whoever you say that too, will automatically respond with questions about the change in your circumstances, initially you were interested and now you are not. You cant stereotype or judge and every situation is different. However, i think going back to my "Honesty and Forthrightness". There is an area on your profile page that is available for you to place messages about what you are looking for and if the sole reason you are on RHP is the Forums or the Chat or you only wish to Date (nothing serious) or only have Private Encounters. State that in your profile. Use the tools that are available to you. If something has "popped" up in your personal life (which is none of our business), then say so and state it publicly, something along the lines "Busy life, not looking at the moment". The best thing about that is, the clear message it sends, no one could feel slighted as the message is to all who read your profile.BTW this is not directed at anyone, nor do i take sides in any dispute between its members. This is a general response to some of the subject matter within this thread.To RHP members you have a wonderful night and i hope to see you all on the flip side at some point of another. SincerelyJJ
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RHP User
14 years ago
BoobaliciousFG: pure blond and Beez Neez please.
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RHP User
14 years ago
All these gorgeous single women on herejust looking for uncommitted sex .... hmmmm
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'FunRendezvous'Charles_Dickens:so he is questioning I think....why are they even here at all, if they are busy....??...That is exactly what I was asking. D_G_T: what everyone doesn't know yet is thatwith the one person who responded to my post that I was talking about (JoinParis), I had suggested meeting, but she didn't get my email until after the suggested date/time, but asked about a raincheck for another time. I said no worries. Then when I wrote an email a day later asking how her weekend and other events went, that's when the "life's suddenly changed" response came back.So (at least initially) there was the interest in meeting up so the sole interest just wasn't in the forums. That's why I was questioning why be on here in the first place then. I don't care that it was f*cking no; I wonder why there's more flakes on here than in my cereal? Fun, I don’t want to inflame this with you any further, but would like the right of reply to your post to Charles Dickens and DGT… So with regard to your question “why be here in the first place” Once again… When we initially communicated I was very much in the mindset of it being quite achievable to meet someone new as well as juggling all of the other stuff happening in my life…. until I got to a point where I couldn’t… And contrary to popular opinion this was not my way of giving you a kind/compassionate brush off… it was the truth. If my interest had diminished I would have had no problems in letting you know this was the case…. / And…. / To correct you, it was 4 days between my email responses to you requesting a rain check / advising I was hiding my profile to the next one where I felt I couldn’t proceed due to circumstances already outlined…. And as I’ve said previously – circumstances (and especially my perception of how I could juggle all of them) changed within that timeframe… / I believe I stated very clearly in my profile that I was seeking to meet someone with this being my intention when I responded to your flirt. I still stand by this... And I resent the accusation that my intent/was not genuine, and at worst, false advertising in an attempt to stroke my ego. Hopefully this will finally clarify all misunderstanding / miscommunication. / Again, I wish you the very best of luck in your search…… / Oh by the way Charles D; / Everyone has a right to freedom of speech… Fun Rendezvous has every right to start this thread as well as is my right to respond to it… So tis not helpful or appropriate for you to advise that this “should not of come into the forum at all”…… I s’pose Fun could have just started yet A-N-O-T-H-E-R thread about squirting – now that would have been far more exciting than watching this lively debate between intelligent and consenting adults
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RHP User
14 years ago
I obviously couldn't say it better myself with what you said about what people put in their profiles and what they say in communication. Well done!
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jezebel_jj
14 years ago
is that people will understand that Profiles are not just a random collection of words on a page. Your profile is "You!" and that what you write about yourself directly impacts on you and those who communicate with you. I personally feel that more thought, even responsibility, needs to be undertaken by some of RHP's members. RHP is a tool, more than just a place to hang out, its not Facebook! If you look at it like you would a hammer it has a particular function and that is to, "connect people who have similar interests (dating, sex, relationships)". I feel that RHP offers a myriad of functions that we can utilize to improve our online experience and hopefully improve each of our chances of finding what we are looking for.I think some perspective would not go wrong, everyone should take a step back and look at the big picture! Ask yourself questions knowing full well that you are the only one accountable for your actions. Ask "Why are you here?", "what do you want from RHP?", "What do you bring to the table or what do you offer?".Remember "Big Picture" without forgetting my last message, Honesty and Forthrightness. Lets face it, you have to be honest and up front with yourself first before you can be with others.Good night and pleasant dreams to all xxSincerely,JJ
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'boytoyjj' is that people will understand that Profiles are not just a random collection of words on a page. Your profile is "You!" and that what you write about yourself directly impacts on you and those who communicate with you. I personally feel that more thought, even responsibility, needs to be undertaken by some of RHP's members. Actually, mines not much more than a random collection of words. I figured it was either going to be a collection of cliches or a load of crap, so I went for the latter...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Wow i've been away from rhp for a few months and i rock back today and what do you know, still childish rantings going on in forums. Good to see things never change, it really does feel like i'm back home (or high school one or the other) lol. Oh and i see CM your still having fun sitting back in forums throwing your charming wit around :-)
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RHP User
14 years ago
so the question on everyones mind is.. Are you two going out for a red hot night of dirty dirty sex now or NOT ????????
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RHP User
14 years ago
I was hoping just for a fun night out to see if she's as cool in person as online...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'FunRendezvous'I was hoping just for a fun night out to see if she's as cool in person as online... I think that comment just made it all betterer P.S. FunR, wowwow has the right attitude for this site from what he has mentioned before and basically it is to not have expectations, just try and have fun. Cyber commiunication on these sites have different rules (more like there aren't really many), especially with the imbalance of boys to girls, you can't expect much, coz u will most likely get dissapointed. HEck i fell for it, i got trumpd for a 'real life' girl instead of an 'RHP girl' as this guy thought he was actually in 2 different worlds?! *slap!*
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hiya BoobaliciousFG,Bummer re: you getting trumped. That's unfortunate. :(But yeah, whenever I meet someone I just go with the, "I am going to have fun" attitude. If more things come of it - B-O-N-U-S. If not... no loss because I had fun anyway and I will be one step closer to meeting someone I can be more funnerer with.
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RHP User
14 years ago
If men dont wish to hear the old "its not you it's me" line how else should it be done?? I would be very interested in some feed back on what is the appropiate way to bow out gracefully.... In answer to love 2see220 - maybe we should do what the guys do - just don;t return sms or messages and hope that we get the hint or make up some rubbish story - at least these woman have given him a clear message as to where they stand. Can't ask for more than that.
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RHP User
14 years ago
so true i think if someone has sent you a flirt and even if your not intreseted you should let them knowbut some time no isnt clear enough
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captainkaos
14 years ago
I had a date with a woman last week. We had chatted on the phone quite a few times and a couple of days before our date she cancelled on me and said that she had come out of a long relationship not so long ago and she had cold feet because she didn't think that she was ready to date again. Her profile was closed the next day. I do that to women. lol. I have found that a few times. It still does amaze me though how a woman can put a profile up, Put up with all of the wankers and crap messages that they recieve, not to mention the abuse that some of the guys i have heard about, then even after chatting a couple of times, chicken out of a dinner or drink date. I guess that everyone is different. When i seperated/ divorced from my wife, my way of thinking was that to get over my ex, i had to keep my mind off her and think about someone else.
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RHP User
14 years ago
be honest without being cruel is all I would want Quoting 'love2see220' If men dont wish to hear the old "its not you it's me" line how else should it be done?? I would be very interested in some feed back on what is the appropiate way to bow out gracefully.... Love2
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Genius_Ironman
14 years ago
Quoting 'meggiesgirl'Come on guys, we've talked to you and decided that your not really what we want. Do you want us to say p.... off or do you want us to sugarcoat it and say we're busy. I'm with the others I always try to reply, and nicely at that. I'm not here to offend anyone just have a good time. Sometimes life does get in the way, however, I always try to make time for my RHP friends. "Sorry, I am busy" is a stupid response. (Unless you really are). If you say that, then whoever was interested will just keep trying to arrange another time. Quicker & wastes less time just to be honest, sugar coating optional.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Now, as I write this, I can still smell a certain gentleman lingering on my skin.... I have met a few guys from this site.I have gone so far as to exchange numbers with one person that I thought would be a "yes" to decide (for reasons of my own) that they were a "no". I have to say, I tried the moderately polite noncommittal response, only to receive another flirty text. At this point they received a very blunt , yet still polite (compared to what I *could* have said) explanation as to why they were no longer on my radar. I told it as it was, without making it an attack. This seems to have worked and the person is not offended (based on the followup text i got a few days later) nor left confused (based on the fact that no response to said text has elicited no further communication). I wasn't rude. I wasn't nasty. I was just blunt as hell.I then updated my profile to reflect the criteria that ended up excluding this person :P anyone who *doesn't* read my profile but messages anyway (in regards to the content of my profile, specifically) doesn't warrant an answer. Sorry, you can't be fucked reading it, I can't be fucked answering it.Paris: do yourself a favour.... find time ;)
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RHP User
14 years ago
For me it's not about the no responses nor about the just being ignored . Its is about the message me I'm keen contact me and when you do in what ever fashion then nothing , no reply zilch . Then my dance card is full ... Raincheck and no response at least that could be seen as a polite response . thank-you however to the sexy hot gorgeous women who are genuine friendly polite who make it all worth while. Rhp no different to life in general . Ratio is about 100 to 1 .
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