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RHP

RHP User

F54

What sum men think! and some women do!

August 12 2008

sex

1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can't just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out. 2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partner's mouth while you get off is hot. It depends on the situation. 3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don't, it's your own fault when he's snoozing and you're all wound up. 4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men pass out. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it's not his fault. 5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That shit is uncomfortable after a while. A little snuggling isn't unreasonable, but when it's time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice. 6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, that's nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles all the time is like expecting you to act like a pornstar all the time. If you're not willing to do that, don't expect him to switch for you. 7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the shit that Cosmo forces down your throats, sex is NOT just about women. Get over it. 8. Using Cosmo as a sex bible. I dont know who comes up with half that shit, but I'm pretty sure they need counseling. 9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his cock instead of stroking your hair. Know why he's pushing, skippy? Because you aren't doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues he's given you. Pay attention to the signals that he's sending you. 10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.

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Comments

  • RHP

    RHP User

    17 years ago

    What planet are you from?...........Can I get the direction on how to get there? Is there anymore of you up there? Unreal.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    17 years ago

    X_traSensory........ Interesting that you have your profile locked......with a female pic symbol at the top... does any other female out there....or any guys think this was written by a GUY......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not sure if someone has hacked into your site X_tra ... or whether you are not female... or a seriously pissed off TV/TS.....WHATEVER !?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?! but .......there is no way any female in her right mind would have written this CRAP.... If you....whoever you are.....have a problem with the women in your sex life then may I suggest you approach them and not simply address the ENTIRE female population of rhp tarnishing us all..... FFS.......you have no idea of what happens in my sex life and how dare you presume to know!!!! I could also turn around and address these same issues from the true female perspective and tarnish all guys as being useless in the bedroom but I credit myself with a great deal more respect for the guys on this site.....and considerably more CLASS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is nothing but a rambling load of crap by some pissed off bloke.....and one who can't even do a good job of pretending to be a female............... Will now step down from the soapbox as I am sure someone else will want to use it.................. Lava xxx

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  • playfulminx

    playfulminx

    17 years ago

    So surely poster posted it for laughs?

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    17 years ago

    thats the way i was thinking after 18 years with one woman!! maybe that why im divorsed and singel.but do say it could be me who wrong.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    17 years ago

    Once again, the "typical" woman summarised, lol. I hate reading this stuff, since I am usually the opposite to how a woman is "supposed" to think. My thoughts: 1 & 3: why is "getting it hard" the woman's job and getting her to orgasm is also the woman's job? What exactly is the man's job? Lol. Don't both people usually contribute in some way? :) 4 & 5: I'm more like the men here. Fuck me and let me pass out. So, I would debate that its a biological thing, since all available evidence points to me being biologically female :) 6. Ugghhhh. Forget it. Romance is dull. Flowers are once-living things that we inexplicably find it appealing to amputate and offer to others. Forget the candles, unless you are going to pour the hot wax all over me :) 7. PLEASE will someone tell men this, too??? Nothing disappoints me more than a man who refuses to fulfill his own needs in the bedroom, insisting that its all about the woman. THIS woman gets off on one thing more than anything else: the OTHER person being completely selfish :) 8. Cosmo was a good sex bible for me up until about age 14. 9. OOOOHHHH, YEAH!!!! Push my head down harder!!!! :D (see item 7) 10. Again, some men should be told this, too. I have met a few who do so little, that I wonder if they even want to be there :( And thats fine if its in line with number 7, but when it seems like they are holding back, no one wins. Not quite sure what the poster's intent was, but thats my opinion in a nutshell. Atypically slutty, nadi xx

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    17 years ago

    well im guessing every male can relate to this in some way or form lol but jezzz it takes a women to take it all seriously if it is offencive to women then maybe you are doing things wrong lol have fun ppl mal xx

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    17 years ago

    I think that after the changing role of the "typical" man in the last 20 years its about time we came back into the picture and asserted our own needs and wants in the bed room... I think the extreme views expressed have some merit but taken with a "pinch of salt". the reactions for the replies have been strong and maybe not quite unjustified. I however feel that if it opens up the door of communication between partners then the post is well worth the effort regardless of its source. relationships are not all flowers and gagging.... there is so many facets that the ever changing role of the 21st century male needs discussion and a balance brought between the needs and wants of those involved...... Is that such a bad thing from either side??? My opinion is no its not. regards Metrosexual, processed, defunct, 21st century male ;-)

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    17 years ago

    That is just so politically incorrect!!! rofpmsl!!! I would love to know your motive/s for posting!!! But this post had 50 points yesterday, what happened to the rest...I didn't get a chance to read it all!!! If you view our profile a couple of times, I could send you a message so you can send it to me...please... Does anyone remember a similar post about how men treat women from a few months ago??? I think it had about 20 points...I had a quick look back but can't even remember what forum it was in...I'd really luv to read it again if anyone can help. MrsPeachy :-Deb

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    17 years ago

    I have seen this one before It really does put women down but it has to be taken with tongue in cheek, there are plenty of similar ones out there that take the piss out of men, some in just as much a demeaning way and i always laugh at them. As for the writer being a male, im not so sure, if i had come across this i may have posted it myself. Heavenly

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    17 years ago

    Oh for peats sake people, lighten up this was done as a joke.... problem with rhp'rs now days they too quick to judge and criticise. so what if the profile is locked, i too remember a post similar to this about men, didnt see many guys whinging about it. Mrs H

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    17 years ago

    so sorry to be offended by a post which i PERSONALLY found offensive..... so sorry not to have been on rhp long enough to recognise it a previously posted JOKE.... so sorry for daring to voice my opinion....... after all hasnt that been the gripe in here for so long... not being able to have your say without someone slamming you for it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! maybe i just go back to sitting quietly and keeping my thoughts to myself!?!?!?!?! lava x

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    17 years ago

    Now what we have here people is a complete breakdown in communication. It certainly doesnt take much to get people wound up on here does it? settle people lol

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    17 years ago

    There were 50 points to this post when I first saw it...but I didn't get to read them all and I would really luv to! I read a few points that I wanted to show MrPeachy but they're not here anymore :-( It would be great if RHP would put them back up or perhaps X_traSensory could try sending another post with more thru...please??? :-) MrsPeachy :-Deb xox

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    17 years ago

    Many a true word spoken in jest, I'd say.... .... I don't take the list TOO seriously and agree its meant to be humourous... but I think the overall message is still sincere. AND valid. nadi xx

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    17 years ago

    Aw..u rock sista! Lay it straight to the womens auxillary. The Princess Diaries ARE NOT relevant to this site. Harden-up girls...and we will too. Cuddles are good but.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    17 years ago

    blah blah !!... blah !,,? ,.. blah blah blah ,.. blah ,,? uummm ! , blah , (cough) ,.. blah. ~~~Horrible~~~ Tension line , set drag , get comfy ..................

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    17 years ago

    X_traSensory...Any response would have been appreciated... Anyway, as the saying goes "if you want something done properly do it yourself", so I googled the first point to find the other 40 points. I also googled the other post I asked about earlier in the thread and the heading for that one is 50 Mistakes Men Make While Having Sex. How come they got to keep 20 points and we only got to keep 10??? lol Ah well, we'll see how much of the rest makes it thru this time :-D 11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He’s about to get some pussy. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself. 12. Not shaving your legs. Im pretty bad at this myself. But if you want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor. 13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes, some people don’t want to go bare. Thats fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and can’t shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that s**t if you want him to spend any time down there. 14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha. That’s as far as it goes unless otherwise noted. 15. Withholding oral sex just because you’re ragging. He didn’t do it. Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he’s hormonal, I suggest you get some kneepads. 16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you’re having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like "I stubbed my toe" "I ran up the steps" or "I was putting up drywall". 17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you’re sexually active and insist that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all men keep them on them, and it’s just as much your responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn’t be having sex anyway. Go back to Jr High. 18. Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn’t be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore and tells you to come, its his way of showing that he cares if you get off. Stop being a sissy. 19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun. 20. Dissing quickies because it’s not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a dynamic thing. Theres an awesome raw energy when you only have 20 minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed against the wall. Readjust your thinking. 21. Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn’t acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it’s an invitation, don’t look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his cock in your butt. 22. Expecting him to undress you. I put a bra on almost every day. I know for a fact that getting them off isn’t always easy. Help a brother out. 23. Undressing in the dark. If youre shy, dim the lights, but give the man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either. 24. Refusing to get on top. Theres no reason men should have to do all the work. 25. Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn’t suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move. 26. Expecting him to do all the touching when you’re riding him. It’s your body, you’re used to it. Play with your tits, rub your clit, do something to make his job easier. 27. Being too afraid to guide your partner’s hand when hes touching you. Don’t like the way he’s doing it? Gently take his hand and show him how you like it. 28. Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding that you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when he doesn’t. Its your choice to stop, but don’t look all #@%*ing surprised when he’s confused. You got him naked in your bed, what else did you think was going to happen? 29. Refusing to let him take control. So your a feminist. Big #@%*ing deal. Letting him call the shots doesn’t make you any less of one. 30. Refusing to take control. Its ok to crawl across a bed to him on all fours, push him down and crawl on top. It’s not his responsibility to start things all the time. 31. Forgetting that he has a body that likes to be touched, too. Men have things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that are fun to kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by concentrating solely on his penis. 32. Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, just don’t ignore them. 33. Leaving him to his own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who gets you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn’t want to deal with the mess. 34. Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he tries to titty #@%* you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy yourself. You get a great view. 35. Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll. I’d hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re not going to break, sister. So doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at it later and giggle at the memory. 36. Refusing to try things in the name of "making love". You’re not making anything. You are naked. With another person. Making strange faces and weird noises. Stop romanticizing it. 37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it’s hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It’s how you deal with it that really matters. 38. Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a 3 some. Its the American dream. (I know my ex is reading this right now, so a quick interjection. One request for a 3 some is ok. Every 5 minutes, not so much. Know the difference). 39. Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god awful cotton mouth. Really. Grab a bottle of water. 40. Nails. Its one thing tracing them up and down your partners back. Its another when you snag the goods with a claw. 41. Bitching when you get jizz on you. You’re having sex. That will happen. Thats the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and cant jizz and be done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores. 42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so he knows he’s the best you’ve had, even if he isn’t. 43. Faking orgasms. Just. Don’t. By faking (IF he believes you) he thinks he’s doing everything right. And if he doesn’t know its not working, he’s not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex which will eventually be very damaging to his ego. 44. Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is more of a general statement. If you haven’t showered that day, and things smell a little…fishy…perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you. 45. Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not specifically approved before hand. I don’t care what Cosmo says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises. 46. Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things because you have 541510630 count Egyptian cotton sheets that were made by hand by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern. They’ll wash. 47. Doing all of your before bed things before sex. Yes, sleeping with makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that later. And really #@%*ing you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with acne cream on your nose is not all its cracked up to be. 48. Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the splooge off is one thing. But changing the sheets immediately so you can get the other ones in the washer and then sanitizing everything your naked body might have possibly passed by is not the way to do it. 49. Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on. This is not an interrogation, or 20 questions. It happens, he’s probably mortified and you are NOT helping. Refrain from using phrases like "it happens to every guy". Just move to other activities until it gets hard again, and if it doesn’t, get off another way with him. He’s still capable of getting you off. Mumbling "Forget it" and rolling over are not ok. 50. Asking questions right afterwards. The woman equivalent of "was it good for you?". Now is not a good time to ask "What this means". Right now, it means he probably needs to take a drink, a leak and a nap, perhaps not in that order. Ciao 4 now... MrsPeachy :-Deb

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    17 years ago

    lol, got to love these :) Mrs H

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    17 years ago

    and thank you Mrs H, glad to hear you enjoyed my addition to this post as well as the men's list :-D Ciao 4 now... MrsP :-Deb

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