What’s considered “pushy” when reaching out to someone here?

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  NeoAndTrin

  9 months ago

  There are different levels of polite depending on who you talk to in here. My advice is just to always be polite no matter what and I think it's ok to send a follow up if its left on read as I've seen people mention recently that sometimes they get distracted after reading a message and forget to respond. But if the 2nd message gets left on read, just move on. No point wasting further messages on someone who isn't interested.

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  Apples_N_Oranges

  9 months ago

  Sometimes it’s not the frequency of messages but the language used in the messages that can also be pushy. We have also noticed recently that people read our initial/intro message but don’t reply for days, our view is that if you have time to log on and read your messages, than you have to time to reply. If people read our message and don’t bother to reply for approx. 24 hrs, we take it they are not interested and delete/move on. If we start up a new chat with someone, a few messages are exchanged and then nothing/no reply for a about 5 days, we send a follow up message asking if they are still interested, if we still get no reply then we delete/move on. In relation to dates, don’t let others dictate how you should approach. If you are interested, send them a message, if they think that is pushy then maybe they shouldn’t post dates. How else are we meant to communicate with people on here, and hitting the ‘interested’ button doesn’t seem to achieve much! If they read your message but don’t reply, send a polite follow up message within 24/48 hrs (depending on the time frame you have before date) and if they still don’t reply then delete/move on. The above is just advice, a system we developed over time and we believe it has saved us alot of time and helps us work out who is wasting our time and/or is not interested.

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  MsSuperFoxy

  9 months ago

  Tip #101: You never wait. Get on with life. But you do boo. If you want to wait, wait then send a follow up. Theres no right or wrong answer as each receiver is individually based and you can not predict an outcome. As for date finder: Personal choice: express both, if you want too. Select interest and send a polite message. IMO It's best to read other forum topics on "messaging" and "date finder", from there you'll find your own answers and can decide yourself. Ms Foxy

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  MsSuperFoxy

  9 months ago

  What's considered pushy? Sending continous, multiple message bombs one after the other, with the intent to gain receivers attention. Just a tip #102: Don't do it. IOM: It's fucking overwhelming and annoying, over time the messages turns into forms if abuse because receiver hasn't engaged. You do it, you'll most likely get reported and blocked, because it's not cool and is against RHP policy. Ms Foxy

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  FeistyFatty

  9 months ago

  If no reply, just move on ..... A no reply is often a reply in itself. Datefinders .... Express interest but don't ask out on a date, they'll check you out after you've done that and progress if they're interested.

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  wanderlustQLD

  9 months ago

  I like it when people express interest in a Datefonder and follow up with introducing themselves.

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  Blueflamingo

  9 months ago

  Pushy is when a response is not being respected. If I politely say thanks but no thanks and get a response message back trying to convince me to change my mind... sigh 🙄 no is no, first, second AND third time. Sometimes I am busy with existing connections and not looking for new. Then a follow up message and month or two later can come in handy. I would usually communicate this if I receive a proper opening message (more than 'Hey' or 'How are you?') I have missed some messages in the past, so in that case a followup message could be helpful. Its very rare I dont respond. For a date finder, I would definitely recommend you show interest AND send a message. It will show you are interested and proactive ✔️ A little effort goes a long way 😉 Always be respectful of course, good things cum to those who wait. Good luck x

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  Andrea_Sydney

  9 months ago

  I think following up once is fine. Messaging on a date finder is great. I think it’s nicer than just clicking the interest button. One thing that I really like is when someone messages and includes some clear face photos. I find it awkward having to ask for them and then say ah, don’t like what I see. For that awkwardness, I stopped messaging guys back that don’t show their face in their first message. I bet there’s other women that do the same. Also, it’s less awkward for you. When there’s just no response it means not interested. A negative response after face reveal is far more awkward. Just my thoughts.

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  missedbythatmuch

  9 months ago

  I have numerous replies, sorry not interested, and I would just send a message that an offer of a drink is still an open one....1 positive reply has been received and it was just a heart and a thank you. That is all it takes and nothing ever needs to be said further. It was a wonderful transaction showing politeness from both sides. I do however feel for those ladies that have notes "inbox inundated" . Must be awful and so time consuming and is why the whole process becomes a problem. No wonder the replies get shorter or nonexistent.

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  Flirty2020

  9 months ago

  If you send someone an unsolicited / introductory message, and you can see that they have read it but do not respond, take that as a sign that they are not interested. If you follow up with a 2nd message , that might very well be seen as being pushy. We certainly would see it as being pushy. More than often a “non response” (to a message) on here means “not interested”. Many people prefer not to respond to an unsolicited message (if the sender does not match their criteria) as often a reply of “not interested thanks” is met with a barrage of anger & vitriol - many people don’t like to be rejected. We talk from experience in this regard. With regards to how to respond to dates placed on “Datefinder”, that will all depend on the wording of the date. For example, when we have placed a date on Datefinder, we have made it very clear that as we are guests, we cannot initiate that first message. We request therefore that if someone is interested in our date, that they first thoroughly read through our profile, so as to ensure that they match what we are looking for, taking note of date location etc, and that once they have done that, that they then message us. In this regard we can confirm that over 90% of responses are simply people “expressing interest” and that often they don’t match our criteria and or are in a different state. Of the balance that then message us, the majority don’t match our preferences. Our success rate, due in large to our own preferences, of actually meeting someone through Datefinder, is around 2 % . But then RHP does not run our lives nor dictate our fun. It runs in the background and if someone compatible comes along then it is a bonus. Having said that, we have met up with and “played” with a few nice people as a result of “Datefinder” .

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