F35
What's the difference between the woman you have no strings attached sex with and the woman you want to have a long-term rela
June 22 2017
Comments
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RHP User
8 years ago
I believe no-one knows until they meet that person. We all have a list of things we think are important but when cupid's arrow strikes, we're a goner. There are some who are completely closed to love or too into themselves, the players, who I would consider the exception, but IMO the larger proportion of people will know when they meet the person they would like to keep lol I've wanted to keep a heap of mine but without a time machine 😊 had to release them 😉
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Sawadee
8 years ago
I don't think you know in the early stages. However ' if you get the urge for a return session she's either a knock out between the sheets or natural chemistry just kicked in. I've had gf's I like to sleep with , but not be with. and gf's I feel deeper for with just average sex.. ? My experience with long term sex is ' it can become a little too familiar over time and should be the time you look at the alternatives..
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RHP User
8 years ago
To me, there is no difference as far as personalities would go (connecting and communicating on many levels), but I believe there would be differences in general compatibility. For example, I would not have a long term relationship with a smoker, for a number of reasons. However, I would still be inclined to have selective adult fun with people who are smokers (and on many occasions when I have been at parties and other invites, many happen to be smokers). The same goes for other compatibilities for someone long term, and I include FWB in this, depending on the depth of the connection. If I want to have a FB/NSA only, it doesn't matter if they are not a dog lover like me (as I have one), it doesn't matter if they don't like the country lifestyle, or kids, or whether our decision on potentially having children or not was in common. However, those things do matter for a relationship. I include FWB with relationships, as the fwbs I have experienced (including couple/s), have been (for example) dog friendly, as they have to be if we are to have mutual stays or overnighters at each others homes. It is not necessarily about looks either. Early on my rhp time I had a FB who I admired for her personality and playful character, but was not otherwise physically attracted to. I don't try to fit people I meet into a category. I want the most mutual benefit from any interaction. At the very least, if we like each other, I would be trying for something ongoing (as even sex alone gets better in this situation). Some people could have been compatible enough for a relationship in the right place and time, others have been limited to platonic friendships. Some other (single) people are only open to a certain level of interaction, and normally make that known from the start, or beforehand on their profile, in which case they have categorised themselves. So short answer is, you have to able to communicate and get along like a house on fire (or at least at times), but it's perhaps other factors that dictate whether something is going to be friendship, or NSA only, or something more.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Therefore my post maybe irrelevant to answers you seek.. :-) I never "size" someone up for a long term relationship. I would hald have to be in a friendship with them for a long time before I'd even consider one. Then in saying that, there would have to be that chemistry that never fades but only grows. :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Chemistry and chances for the future, meaning the possibility for a future together and mutual interest. If I meet someone more than once it's important we fit in bed. If the sex is no fun there is no chance for a long term relationship! Speaking of sex: it doesn't matter if I have fun with someone on the first encounter or not, honestly I only had one date in my whole life that didn't end with sex. She was a lovely girl, but the sex wasn't much fun at all... Ignoring the whole sex part, humor and brains are big pluses, and I love woman with passion that know what they want with a cheeky and bratty side (submissive and a bit of a temper are a huge plus as well ). In general: it's the chemistry that make the difference between a fwb or a long term girlfriend, nothing else, I don't care how we met and what we do as long as we fit :)
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RHP User
8 years ago
lol I'm ticking a lot of your boxes there, submissive with a temper 😀 know what I want 😉 if I were 100 yrs or so younger, well you know, nice fantasy 😊
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RHP User
8 years ago
for flirting with you each time you appear on the forum. I try not to, can't help it, it's that face 😄
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Sawadee
8 years ago
Touch has plenty of that cheek and brat in her.. That's why we're besties.. then again, wouldn't have her any other way... Ain't that right Touchy... 😜
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RHP User
8 years ago
Ooh thanks 😊 yes I'm a very bad girl 😉
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RHP User
8 years ago
cheeky as each other 😉
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RHP User
8 years ago
Emotional attachment is the difference. It would be uncomfortable trying to stay unattached with someone I was emotionally attached to. And I dont think about having a long-term relationship with someone I don't have feelings for...which is everyone, i guess.
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3SM_Events
8 years ago
I don't think looks come into play at all. Most ppl won't even have NSA sex with someone they aren't physically attracted to. I thinks it's just simple chemistry. When you physically yearn to be around them just to be in their presence again. It's for this reason I don't see why people are so close-minded when it comes to meeting others. When it strikes it can come from the most unexpected source.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Foryourpleasure do you think we will ever get past our flirting stage? :) :) I feel like one of us should buy a membership :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Isn't looks more important when you are looking for a quick hook up? It's a persons personality which makes you stay for more.
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RHP User
8 years ago
That's only if you both have the X factor in the looks department. Yes you could put looks as main priority for NSA (or anything else), but where would that get the average Joe? I try to flatter people with my amazing personality :p And even if one was the best lover in bed the other could possibly hope for - attractive or not - doesn't mean anything if you can't win them over with conversation/s to even get that far to find out. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting you "When you physically yearn to be around them just to be in their presence again" That's it right there 👍
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RHP User
8 years ago
Looks as in what a person is attracted too physically, and everyone is attracted to different things. As for personality - you just said the same thing I said. NSA is different for women. What I look for in a hook up is different to a FWB, and is different to a boyfriend. I like average Joes - if they have sexy eyes and are super flirtatious and seductive. But for women, they go for looks when they are looking for a hook up. Just my opinion
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RHP User
8 years ago
I think a lot of it comes down to the wants from the relationship. If you have a deeper emotional connection that can mean you want a relationship. Or if you want something more about the physical than maybe it's just about sex. Either way it's more likely to be ruled by what you want personally!
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RHP User
8 years ago
Hi, A few comments about looks has been brought up. so may be different from where your from and where you go to or for meet ups, With this of cause I,ll include age, so with those two points together hand in hand rules myself out of any contact let alone playtime, with some one else. from what I,m finding is with out both being with in how some see,s myself theres no chance. oh well july 7 th, will see. ...noeleena...
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RHP User
8 years ago
"What's the difference between the woman you have no strings attached sex with and the woman you want to have a long-term relationship with? Is it mainly about looks? How quickly do you make your mind up after meeting a girl about which category she fits in? Does this change at all with time?" I think you should reply to my above message ^^^
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RHP User
8 years ago
I have been married twice and it took me about 5 years from separating each time to even consider a long term relationship. I did have FWB in those periods. Some of those FWBs i may well have considered for a longer term relationship under different circumstances. Other times i have been a bit preoccupied to even to be open to a long term relationship. They need a fair bit of emotional energy, especially in the early stages. Can this change - absolutely. I do agree with the above comments about chemistry - very important for both - similar interests - becomes more important for long term and this can take time to work out - but i also add that timing plays a big part.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I don't think it's wise to categorise too quickly, judgments made without enough information tend to be unreliable, in other words get to know them better first. As to what makes someone attractive but perhaps not for a long term relationship is a complex question and could exist for many reasons, it might not be about looks, it could be cultural reasons, age difference, a short window of opportunity or it could be that the other person has made it clear that nsa is all they're after. Can things change with time? Yes, but both parties need to understand each other in this, the change might not be for the better. For what it's worth that's my thoughts on the matter. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Seriously love an honest answer to this. The guys I have chemistry with are happy to fuck me when it suits them but never consider a relationship with me (fill in fuck ) but guys who want a relationship I don't have chemistry with 😨
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Hawt1
8 years ago
I met a compatible lady whilst I was still hung up on my ex, I did understand where I was at and determined I would not hurt any future partner by getting their hopes up. To that end I made the terms well known at the start... strictly friends with benefits! I would be Mr Right Now until she found Mr Right. She loved all the things I did an all round good practical girl, outdoors, nights with a campfire at the beach, wiced sence of humour, very sexualy curious and good libido also a single parent of two wonderful little girls (I was a single parent of 1 boy). After she approached me about it, I considered if I would seek to change our relationship... I was put of by the menagerie of pets she had, fish, dogs, snakes, horses, kangaroos... you see she had a lot of love to give... I can't imagine having to pay for feeding them all. She eventually met Mr Right... they are in a good place now and I am at peace with how it all turned out. Still a great friend, although I keep my distance not wishing to rock the boat even though I know they are a very secure married couple. That was all many years ago now, no longer hung up on the ex.. what the future holds, who knows.
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RHP User
8 years ago
You say your attached. How many "relationships" do you want ?
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RHP User
8 years ago
Just one hot, sexy one....I'm not greedy..
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RHP User
8 years ago
Missed that 😀 So norush, are you saying the one you have isn't hot and sexy lol Tongue in cheek 😂😂
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RHP User
8 years ago
Crikey, re the menagerie, that would turn me off too but there are people who would be life compatible, she found that person, but omg I would run for the hills. I've done all the cleaning up shit after animals and kids 😉 now I like to know where your hands and mine have been, and that there isn't anything nasty living under the fingernails lol Now before any pet lovers take me on, I'm running off to hide in a cupboard 😧
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RHP User
8 years ago
I think the first thing is timing for both - if the timing isn't great then the chemistry won't be there. Also we tend to picture ourselves with someone and see if we like the picture. Although there might be no good reason for it,if we don't like the picture then it won't be long term.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Guess that is what I am saying...he doesn't get my juices flowing... (or flooding as some have)
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AnnieWhichway
8 years ago
Following this one......
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RHP User
8 years ago
Sex and love are not inextricably intertwined x The person you have fantastic nsa sex with doesn't have to be the person that you want to have a lifetime relationship with x If you have found the one person who can be both, and they with you, then you are blessed x A relationship that is built around sex is destined to fail x but a relationship built around being together is so much more resilient x The former is so much about the next fuck x the latter about the next minute, hour, day, week, month, year x it is possible to have both, but it doesn't have to be the same person x but that is something else x
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RHP User
8 years ago
Only one of these women is my wife!
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RHP User
8 years ago
Haha fair enough, I'm sorry I forgot the other chat about this, I forget my own name most days 😂😂 but yep I getya 😉
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RHP User
8 years ago
In the past, for a fwb, I like a 'life of the party' type that's real curvy. For long term, I like a subtle, quiet, shy types with a small to medium sporty frame. For me a fwb cannot be a life partner period. I had cupid try that shit on me once so I snapped his arrow in half, I do not make a fwb a partner. So pretty well opposite sides of the spectrum, I'm sure there are professionals out there I can talk to about this
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RHP User
8 years ago
Haha damn 😢 I'm okay for frame size but shy and subtle, I think not 😂😂😂 That's okay, I didn't want to marry you anyway, just wanted your body 😛😜
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RHP User
8 years ago
Looks don't play a part for me at all. Yet my radar may not be to good as I have just hoped from someone something better and he has turned out to shock me. Imagine living in a fantasy all of the time and not treating people with the respect and decency of communicating kindly to one another. Fuck too much bullshit on these sex sites at times. We are all humans with hearts and feelings and the way we handle another human will either give you good stead in this world or come back to haunt you later. No we can't all have long term relationships, but using people to boost your ego and dominate or control to give you satisfaction is one of the worst qualities I have witnessed. Once your ego has been fed how many more times do you need to keep boosting it depends on your own self esteem doesn't it. Self love is more important and loving others by using communication and honesty. Guess one can't be honest with another until they are honest with themselves so becareful of others journeys around you, also some are always in a state of confusion and others are just plain nasty! Which one you choose can effect your life a lot xoxoxooxoxox - Posted from rhpmobile
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Mask_007
8 years ago
You never know and you.just make up your mind after meeting, and some times in the worst cases you have to meet more then one. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
"When you physically yearn to be around them just to be in their presence again" I had no clue when I quoted 3some's, that I'd be feeling exactly like that now. To add, in my first reply to the op, I said we all have a list of things we think are important, but cupid's arrow has other ideas. Well I subsequently fell for a guy who was entirely wrong for me, very vanilla, very old school, self identified by him, and true. My initial thought was that I didn't want to continue it, not sexually compatible at all, opposite ends of the spectrum, there was a lot of work to do there and I had pretty much decided it would never work. But then cupid stepped in and I did a complete about face, so strange to go from that to now feeling like shit because I can't have him, not the way I want him anyway. Definitely though, my free sexual side was not his thing. Maybe it's a good thing it didn't work out. So why do I feel like I'm never going to be good enough for anyone? They're kind of into me but want me to be different or better. Anyway, it is what it is, back to me and my music, quietly reflecting
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Hawt1
8 years ago
Quoting 'I_touch_myself2' Crikey, re the menagerie, that would turn me off too but there are people who would be life compatible, she found that person, but omg I would run for the hills. I've done all the cleaning up shit after animals and kids 😉 now I like to know where your hands and mine have been, and that there isn't anything nasty living under the fingernails lol Now before any pet lovers take me on, I'm running off to hide in a cupboard 😧 Nod, nod, maybe, nod, grins.. my hands, in work gloves for the past 20 days but will be dirty and greasy soon. Going to be teaching my visiting German son about car engines and going bush to look for gold with him. Cupboard.. what are you doing in there, silly person, get out! (Said with a cheech and chong accent) Something I think we have brought into the topic.. "the package", in a relationship you are not only taking on an individual but all the things, persons and circumstances that surround them, as opposed to FB or FWB where most of that incidental stuff an remain none of our concern.
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RHP User
8 years ago
When I was chatting to my guy before we met, we both laid down the "No relationship" law. We met for a drink at lunchtime and spent the whole day together. He went away the next morning but asked to see me when he came back and I said yes very enthusiastically! Something just clicked. He was actually supposed to go away 2 days earlier but his shift was changed, so we might never have met that day. Since then, we have accepted everything about each other, our families, our quirky habits, all the things that make us who we are. There are no secrets. I met him thinking it would lead to some fun, maybe FWB, but he took me completely by surprise. Looks, personality, it doesnt really matter, its that connection thats there right away. So that person you are chatting to and arranging to meet just for some FB fun could turn out to be more.......... Many people have met and found partners on RHP and other adult sites, their reputation as hook up only sites is totally unwarranted.
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RHP User
8 years ago
I met a girl once and knew that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her long before i touched her...we just clicked. When it came time to venture into the bedroom we blew each others minds. That was 27 years ago and our bedroom chemistry has gone fom from mind blowing to phenominal. We have sex at least once a day and up to 3 times a day sometimes 5 on weekends. Yes we have ventured into this world of sharing new experiences together but my desire for new things has never overcome my desire for her. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Chemistry is key, however if your lifestyle patterns are at odds with hers, or life circumstances are not inviting a long term relationship, then NSA is the only way to go. So it's not just about clicking physically and emotionally. - Posted from rhpmobile
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LetsFrolic
8 years ago
And deeper care and emotional connection and ability to be vunerable and open with them. Not saying those things arent there with FWB's but its there alot more in a relationship! And always wanting that 1 person - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
The moment your awestruck by her eyes and not her body - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I was just curious why for you the body shape and personality have to be different for your long term partners and friends with benefits? Gets Langton to lay on the couch while she pulls a pen and note pad out :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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Starburst106
8 years ago
Does there need to be a difference? I think the majority of us here would be looking for something beyond the once, whether that be relationship or fwb. Well that is our supposition anyway. For us, a confidence and an open mind come before anything else. Note, not necessarily confident, but a confidence and willingness to be open, honest, and being prepared to explore and grow for mutual pleasure. Anything else beyond that is a bonus. :)
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irishaccent87
8 years ago
For me it's all about the physical. I'm attracted to bigger girls and older women as a fwb or hook up. I'm also attracted to girls who I don't consider to have an attractive face but have a good body. But for my 'future wife' I'm looking for certain facial features I ultimately am most attracted to (reproduction), same age as me or a little younger (longevity of relationship) and a more petite/toned frame. I ask myself could I see myself being attracted physically in 5 years time. I know from a few photographs or first second meeting someone if I'd be interested in a long term relationship with someone, only for short term fun, or not all - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Should you trust, no rules apply! Should you feel safe, everything goes, should you feel loved and respected regardless there should be no barrier to exploration. Trust is the key to a world of adult pleasure ;). Just Sexy Sunday thoughts xxxx
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RHP User
8 years ago
The right guy for me. He's the one who trips over the same table as I did when I walked in! Not clumsy, just excitable and a pinch nervous. I like to be on the same level of red cheeks and laughs. There's chemistry in that. I couldn't date the person wanting to be the best in the room. I might take them home if they thought I was best for the night though. Life's no competition, I couldn't play beyond that. L_D xx - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Yes, the package, hadn't thought of it like that. Maybe it's because I'm usually focused on the other package 😉
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RHP User
8 years ago
Well that's just about as perfect as it can get 👍
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RHP User
8 years ago
Damn, now you have me fantasising about Langton on the couch 😜
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RHP User
8 years ago
No one on this site is a suitable partner for anything more than NSA sex. The sort of sex that leaves the man satisfied and gone, and the woman wondering what his name was while she looks for her vibrator before she cleans her sheets. Just kidding. I just wanted to get your blood pressure up. The difference would be what each person is looking for. I don't put people into one bucket or the other, they do. If you're looking for a monogamous long term relationship, own it, but you're not on the wavelength as me. So you're probably not an ideal friend for anything NSA with me ... because you're searching for something more. . And I'm not interested in a(nother) partner, so we might be physically attracted and sexually great together, but ultimately I'm not going to satisfy your real want. I'm more likely to be in your way. I don't think people look at someone and go 'oh I'd fuck her, but couldn't imagine anything long term' unless they themselves aren't looking for anything long term. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Please can one of the kind gentlemen explain how they can be attracted to one sort of person for sex and another for ltr. I just thought marriage was suppose to be made up of a lot of sex? - Posted from rhpmobile
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HotAlpha
8 years ago
Depends on the person, I've been with woman for NSA who I could definitely hold in my arms for ever. But it never went further than FB's. Yet been in a long term relationship with someone who was completely incompatible ! You just never know when Cupid will shoot you in the arse ;) An you don't always understand but some ppl just draw you to them, maybe a smile, a look or even just one word that makes you melt. Ps foryourpleasure we gotta meet soon 😘 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I think where one is getting into these kinds of definitions they have lost contact with that fundamental thing in most human interaction.......appreciation. it seems much more like one would be having a relationship or interaction with whats in ones head rather than finding connection and intimacy with the other person. I think it laughable that any one could say an interaction with a person could ever be with out baggage. Rofl. I've had some mind blowing 1 night flings, I still think of them years later. The good the bad the amazing the funny. I think I must have stumbled over being a living growing exploring open engaged person at some point. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I live in a town where the make to female ration is high and still no decent men in Darwin. And even just fwb There are heaps of fuck tards here 🙄 I've been single over a year and still haven't found a regular friend. It also feel to me that weight has something to do with it. As if I don't hate my body enough - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Myself and my sweet wife started as a casual no strings attached relationship, and it blossomed into what I hope is a lifelong partnership. Neither of us were letting the grass grow under our feet, but found something in eachother that was out of our expectations. We now embark on our adventures together, content with what we have, but always willing to add some garnish to an already delicious meal. So for me at least, those two girls were one and the same, and I wouldn't have found the love of my life if we both had been milling around waiting for "the one". Casual sex worked for us, and as sad as it sounds, it all started with a message right here, hahaha. I hope someone finds something in that. Promiscuity rules.. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
My level of selfishness.... Which affects my level of openness to being in a relationship.... Which I believe also goes both ways :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'Atalanta69' Please can one of the kind gentlemen explain how they can be attracted to one sort of person for sex and another for ltr. I just thought marriage was suppose to be made up of a lot of sex? - Posted from rhpmobile Well here goes.The woman I love and live with is hyposexual, my girlfriends are not.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Why would you hate your body? You're stunning, beautiful and sexy. Fuck them, their loss. I've seen it from both sides, been big and now small, they still don't want to take me home to meet Mum lol trust me on that and to answer Atalanta's question, body shape might be a consideration when they look for long term partners, but it's not the real deal breaker, they seem to want the girl next door to impress the family, then come on here looking for more when the perfect girl next door doesn't fulfil them, whine about being in a sexless marriage 😉 worse, some do it repeatedly, make the same mistake the second time. I've recently had an experience that made that clear as mud. They can have their cake and eat it too lol but their brains can't drag themselves out of the dinosaur age lol Okay, off for more coffee now 😇
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RHP User
8 years ago
Men are basically big scaredy cats with sexually forward women 😀
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RHP User
8 years ago
Quoting 'ginger_ninja83' I live in a town where the make to female ration is high and still no decent men in Darwin. And even just fwb There are heaps of fuck tards here 🙄 I've been single over a year and still haven't found a regular friend. It also feel to me that weight has something to do with it. As if I don't hate my body enough - Posted from rhpmobile I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. I think it's even more difficult for those of us in the smaller cities, particularly those that are in more remote areas of the country and which are usually quite conservative and dominated by certain demographics. I've been single for years and even though I'm not looking for a relationship, I've found it almost impossible to find a regular FWB here.
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RHP User
8 years ago
Thanks ladies I have body issues etc Ideally I'd love a realtionship with the right person but an happy for a fwb. All these guys want is a root and see ya later. I just want a friend to do things with and go on dates and to have heaps of sex with. I miss male company 😫 So lonely! Gahhhh - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
I am just checking that I can write :)
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RHP User
8 years ago
Both seem to describe perceived choices that might be ways of describing values and beliefs, or even circumstances in a present moment. The things that are seen and unseen in any defined relationship, however momentary, are infinitely complex. Even being a hermit requires a society by which to define themselves. Putting all that aside, I would say the thing that binds us, or yokes us together is that our demons have learnt to play nicely together. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
8 years ago
its all about the chemistry.. if both people feel it one can become the other no?
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RHP User
8 years ago
When I want a long term relationship I put it out there, if I want a fling I put that out there. If you say you want one thing when you really want the other then the disappointment is designed in from the start and it’s nobodys fault but your own. This comment is not aimed at anyone in particular.
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RHP User
8 years ago
You’re saying you are sexually into older, bigger and plain women, but when it comes to your future wife you are looking for a show pony? Certain look, certain age, certain body type - small, young and attractive. Is that so you will have good looking children? You’re not concerned with intelligence for example? That’s not a dig. I’m genuinely interested in your thots around this. But isn’t thinking this way increasing your chances of an unsatisfactory marriage in the sex department? Of course, it depends if you feel that is a vital part of the marriage you want or whether you are open to Satisfying yourself sexually outside your marriage. I’ve come across people who have certain sexual interests (kinks) that are total wild but they deny this part of themselves because having a LTR with someone who is kinky or into the same thing doesn’t fit into what they think should be the perfect marriage or doesn’t fit into their ideal image of themselves. I don’t know. Perhaps they hope it’s a phase they are going through which will go away once they are “settled down”. Personally, I don’t think chasing an ideal partner, one who fits into your perfect ideal, is going to work long term.
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RHP User
8 years ago
These days marriage is just sooooo gay. 😜😎
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