Where are all the good guys?

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  It's not always true, but it certainly is more then enough for the saying to still be around. The attentive nice guy doesn't stand out next to the exciting bad guy. Certainly at younger ages. Thankfully being a nice guy rather then a 'bad boy player' didn't stop me finding my lovely wife, but I know in the high school and uni years being the nice guy got me nowhere (and I'm a shit actor to try and fake being a dick, even if I could bring myself to). At our 'vintage' I'd say being a nice guy is not a detriment, but especially here with the skewed male/female ratio you need something other then just hello to stand out from the crowd. The forums are a good place to show more of your personality and stand out (at least to those who browse them). Be yourself and those that appreciate what you're offering will notice something beyond the flood of 'how are you' messages the ladies here get. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  ...the odds in favor of the ladies are overwhelming. I wouldn't even venture an accurate number however of the active and genuine profiles here I would not be surprised if it were at least 50:1 or higher in terms of the male/female ratio. That said, think of a kid in a candy store with an unlimited budget? The other note might be is a simple one-liner may not really cut it. Figure out a way to stand out, engage in the start of a true conversation, ask a question, make them laugh...if you want, even try on silly or stupid. Quiet ya'all....I know I do the latter quite often and quite well! ......best, CM

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  To the post about the 'war on the non-reply'...this will give you an insight into why you may get shut down or ignored from the start. Personally, if you're polite in your message and you match what I'm looking for (having read my profile before sending a message), I will usually reply. Be aware of the fact that no one owes you a reply, and you won't be disappointed if/when you don't get one. And you can be pleasantly surprised if you do! ;-) - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  In the real world I often I think it's a test, to see what your made of, will you recover and show some steel or will you slink off with your tail between your legs and have a little sulk. On here there are few opportunities for a comeback so you need to do a lot better than "hi how are you" you need to demonstrate that you have read her profile, that you have some common interests and that you stand out from the dross and are somebody worthy of further interest.Practise the art of discerning which profiles suit who you are and how to engage them.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Do you mean that women are just supposed to know that you're one of the so-called good guys, by telepathy or something? If you're talking to or messaging a complete stranger they have no idea what you're like, just because you obviously class yourself as a good guy really doesn't mean anything or automatically entitle you to a response. With regards to messaging on here, if you're just sending initial messages like ''hey how are you'' or ''how's your weekend been'' then it's not really surprising that you're not getting responses. I'm not sure if you realise how skewed the ratio of men to women is on here, but women receive so many of those sort of one line messages, they just blend in with all the others and don't make you stand out in any way. You generally need to be a bit more proactive and creative if you want to up your chances of a response on here. As for the 'real world', there could be any number of reasons why a woman doesn't respond positively to you. To put it bluntly, you're not entitled to a certain response just because you think you're a great guy and you deserve a chance. Yeah that sounds harsh and no doubt I'll get the usual backlash from the usual suspects, but in the end expecting people to behave in a certain way and investing in that expectation is usually always going to leave you disappointed. It's a cliche but it's really best to try and just go with the flow, accept the knock backs and don't get bitter about it. There's enough bitter men out there already. Things aren't easy for women in the dating cesspool either, whether in real life or on here, they're just different types of difficulties. Best of luck.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Definitely agree with Eiliethyia's view. There is more to it then just being a Good guy. To remotely have any luck on this site or any other site your profile and word's must be a true representation of who you are. As Eilie said there is no guarantee that a message will be replied. A message is wasted if you don't fit there critera or read there profile. As CM mentioned your outnumbered and competition is fearce. You need to stand out with a quality polite first message. One that doesn't waffle on but shows you have read there profile. Certainly not bragging how good in bed you are ! That's just the first step. Keeping there attention and Intrested should be a continual thing that should come naturally if your both interested. As other post's here in rhp have said about players and narasists . If your just after the chase you won't get far IMO unless your some sort of European Hunk hung like the Italian stallion. lol Although I do have a Q for the ladies and it's still on topic. Do you like a Bad boy ? One that you think you can control or change or prefer the Good guy who might be a little plain but will always be there and never lie,cheat or treat you like shit. Are they boring ? 😴😴😴 I say Op be yourself and hopefully you attract someone who wants to be with you not just for your house, money, job or looks. I Keep saying beauty lies within the skin. Hopefully other's will see your's. Good luck Op 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Or, if they're connected, you're saying you're a good guy by asking women how they are or how their weekend's been. Now, I'm sure you are a good guy and your intentions are hostility-free, but it's always important to consider the other person's POV before drawing conclusions from their reactions. The world is a very different place for men and women. If we walk down an empty street and hear footsteps behind us we barely even notice, but for a lot of women this puts them on guard. If we walk down the street and someone whistles or calls out to us, we'd be surprised because that never happens, but most women deal with this on a daily basis, and it's obnoxious and intrusive. So for most women a stranger coming up to them and asking how their weekend was is a loaded occurance, and it's no wonder they'll often shut it down. This isn't a reflection on you personally, and doesn't mean they're not looking for a nice guy. They're just maybe more likely to be interested in a nice guy if they meet him through the normal channels of their social interactions, where he has some context.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Quoting 'Cruisinglife' Although I do have a Q for the ladies and it's still on topic. Do you like a Bad boy ? One that you think you can control or change or prefer the Good guy who might be a little plain but will always be there and never lie,cheat or treat you like shit. Are they boring ? 😴😴😴 I dislike the good guy / bad guy dichotomy, I think it's far too simplistic and ignores the fact that most people have both 'good' and 'bad' to them. There are few people who are always good, or always bad. I find that quite a lot of the self-proclaimed nice guys / good guys often carry a big chip on their shoulder, and get angry and bitter when they don't receive what they think they deserve for being such an apparently nice guy. They obviously don't realise that this bitterness and sense of entitlement makes them quite unappealing and actually makes them not much different to the 'bad guys' they decry. Just calling yourself a nice guy doesn't make it so. I'm not going to go for a guy simply on the basis that he is supposedly a good guy or a bad guy, and indeed I'm probably going to be turned off if a guy labels himself as either type. I'm going to make a decision based on a range of characteristics that are important to me, such as intelligence, empathy, social conscience, sense of humour, and yes physical attraction.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  A question I have constantly asked my self. He remains elusive and my recent few meets has convinced me , he will stay that way Forget "good" guys, I'm just trying to find that isn't simply a muppet. Convinced this will pretty much not happen in my lifetime. Not jaded, just tired. It's exhausting For me Ms Dragon as per usual summed it up beautifully

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Everyone will have there own opinion on if your a good or bad guy.I judge someone on various qualities like yourself. If your shallow,self centred or racist or just out for what you can take then that will be a no from me. Attraction is important but if your ugly on the inside then your JUST ugly. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  But if they are good and boring they will get no where. And if you message a woman make it substantial. I will usually just delete messages that only contain "Hi" or "Hows our weekend". Why should I reply, even if they are a good or bad guy. That sort of message just comes across as someone fishing and not caring who will take the bait. Well, that's my opinion anyway.

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  DynamicCouple36

  9 years ago

  Because many of the women & couples on here, get dozens of unsolicited, and often disrespectful, messages from guys, who clearly have not bothered to read ones profile BEFORE sending the message. Many of these messages leave little to the imagination and are not conveyed in an articulate or intelligent manner. Starting a message with "How R U??", or any question for that matter, is for us personally, an instant turn off. Just as is "How was Ur weekend " " How are yas? "How are youse" " Hot pix, waanna fuck ?" " Hung stud for youse to use " etc etc And so we tar you all with the same brush and dismiss your messages with the contempt that they deserve. Because we can and we get fed up. It's a pity that the bad guys, on these sites, have given all guys a bad reputation. - Posted from rhpmobile

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  madotara69

  9 years ago

  'What's a nice guy like you, doing in a place like this' Ooops Try a bit of both Fact 'Every single one of us, The devil inside' Mado Mado Tara xx

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  So true.

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  Ooookay 😀 so the dusting is done, thank God, I was starting to sneeze 😣😤😷 Oops sorry, attention span of a goldfish (thanks soft). So, I've been thinking about this and to answer the op's question, I don't go looking for good guys, I also don't like guys who expect me to be good 😉 I'm a bad girl and I look for bad boys. Perfect match, we work well together, can be problematic when we keep standing each other up 😂 To add, I will never again allow any man to place any expectations on me re my behavior, the way I look, the way I speak, the way I.............you get the picture, never good enough. It actually makes my skin crawl now to hear opinions that judge people for not behaving perfectly 100% of the time ugh and I not only don't expect perfection re behavior from my young friends, I'm quite often mildly amused by their actions. Life is fun, random, I don't want to have to be perfect, I just want to be me and in relation to the topic, I allow others to relax and be themselves, to be imperfect. My opinion on this topic is that self proclaimed good guys, are a bit stiff for me. The only thing I want stiff with my men, is what's in their pants 😊 Due respect to you op, nothing personal, just my thoughts 😃

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  RHP User

  9 years ago

  The latest pie article on "treat em mean keep em keen" it nails the whole good guy bad boy thing.

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