F55
Who has the power?
February 09 2014
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
The night I got married.. I took my strides off.. and said to the new wife.. "here.. put these on please.."She did.. but said.."They don't fit me and look stupid on me" I replied... "Exactley love.. I WEAR the pants in this house .." She gave me the most beautiful smile.. then turned around, and in the most seductive manner, slid her tiny little Thong off..She then handed it to me, and said "Darling Husband... put this on"I Looked at it.. and puzzled.. said... "Lovely wife... I CANNOT get your tiny underwear?"SHE SNAPPED back.. "And Darling husband, you NEVER will.. ever again.. until you change your fckn ideas"
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RHP User
12 years ago
Most of us would like an equal relationship.... We all know that our strengths flow and ebb with how we feel and who is stronger /supportive at that time, it doesn't mean they're unequal, they are just balanced........ I have a girlfriend who is 'definitely' the boss, she has guided her husband through his career choices, clothes, car..... Well, everything..... But don't get me wrong, he is not a wimp at all, he realised a long time ago that he was the type of person that needed to be pushed in order to achieve...... His acceptance of his personality trait matches them perfectly........... Also we have the Dom/sub relationship, there is no assumption of who has power, each one has it in their own way............ I personally feel that a relationship can have a balance, sometimes it tilts one way or the other, just so long as you don't tip the scales.
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Beachlover1999
12 years ago
Laughing my socks off cos there lies the answer!!!!!! Or perhaps why I am twice married!!!!! Lolol :)))))
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RHP User
12 years ago
we never have an equal relationship, because we want to show the other we are the "BOSS" Ok, I understand our upbringing, religion, heritage and how we saw the relationship between our parents has lots to do with how we are behaving in a relationship, first. Still I want to believe after some people went through divorce or any other breakups...we are learning. Learning from our mistakes and try to live and behave differently.Or is it, we can't help it we always fall into the same pattern? I don't want to believe, always one holds the power in a relationship, I would say it shifts and changes....but then FUCK why cant we be both equal....or doesn't equal exist?
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RHP User
12 years ago
In any relationship, whether it be marriage or girlfriend/boyfriend or FWB, does one person always hold more power than the other? . One person can definitely hold more power than the other in a relationship, but this isn't always the case. I've held power in a relationship before, similar to the one Bigmamma describes. I was the more dominant party. It was what I ran from eventually. When I first came out of that relationship, I was quite eager for my new partner to make all of the decisions - right down to picking what we ate in a restaurant. I was exhausted from the decision-making! . Does one person love more than the other? Or can two people truly be equal in a relationship? . I've always believed that in a healthy relationship, each person loves equally and yes, there is a balance of scales at work. They may love equally, but they most likely love differently. That is easy to forget in a relationship sometimes. . Should relationships even be viewed this way? Who has power/control and who doesn't? . Any relationship (even the non-sexual) can be viewed this way. I wouldn't be surprised if relationships and power play was an entire school of thought in its own right in the field of psychology. . But I think your questions make it almost sound like a bad/negative thing and I don't think power play need always a bad thing (eg. BDSM). . Flirty x
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madotara69
12 years ago
Not so simple, Meeka. Firstly there is Tara , she seems to be more the logical thinker, me the care free, arty farty sort of dreamer. Left and right lobes covered. I have never told Tara what to do, yet there have been times where I have made decisions for both of us, Tara stood by me with them, other times Tara has made decisions, I stood by her, we mostly work things out together, as we have differant ways for looking and solving whatever the matter. Then there is Tara mother, boss because she is mother and I respect her for decisions, and stand by no matter what the outcome. Meeka it just depends on any given moment one, both or the other, find the best solution, even most agreeable or just confidant best gamble. Some things no one is in control. Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
12 years ago
1. Yes 2. Ditto 3. They can however I have yet to find Utopia on Google Maps even. 4. Why not, everyone is a critic these days. Depends if you have a predilection in your mindset that there should be one who leaves a trail, and one who follows. 5. That is a supposition open to discussion by only those in the know, let alone what they sprout to the virtual world.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think my parents have one. On another thread someone said "The person care the least holds the power". I'm still thinking about that. In a Sex and the city episode a woman made the comment: "It's always better if they love you more". Same thing? Quotes like that make me sad. I don't think that's a healthy relationship, and in that case I think both partners are unfulfilled, no matter who holds the power.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I agree with you that it's sad. "The power in a relationship lies with whoever cares the least" ......simply means there is no balance there and it's probably not a good relationship to be in It means one of the people in that relationship isn't really 'all in' and hence the other partner is at their mercy; the partner that cares less has the power to change this, either to love more or to end the relationship thus allowing the other party to move on as clearly the other person is too emotionally involved and would be hurting (Lately I'm making less and less sense....) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
I think the balance of power needs to be understood.. What is it in the relationship ..is it control ? during sex is one thing on life well dangerous..
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RHP User
12 years ago
That made perfect sense to me.
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
I believe it comes down to "Self-empowerment". I believe in the four levels of empowerment. * Physical empowerment * Emotional empowerment * Mental Empowerment * Spiritual Empowerment To me if these needs are meet then that's the secret to having "POWER" in any relationship. Power over yourself. I believe it's comes within, not from another person. To me, this is a healthy relationship - to be the best you can be and bring out the best in the other person. Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
I think to have a healthy relationship the people involved must be emotionally available towards each other. If one person is emotionally available and the other emotionally Unavailable, the balance will not work. Just my own thoughts and I don't expect others to agree. Foxy
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MsSuperFoxy
12 years ago
I agree and really like what you posted. Foxy
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Smilingwithfun
12 years ago
I don't know its about the power, its about each other.
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smo669
12 years ago
The man is always the head of the household, but the lady is always the neck that controls the head
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sweetgem
12 years ago
As an independent person, I don't allow anyone controls me nor do I want to be in control of my partner, when I'm in a relationship! It's not healthy and it won't last, in my opinion! But I do think that one person does love more than the other at some stage due to circumstances. A healthy relationship should not be viewed in this way, and equality should be an automatic existing element between the two people, because it's not just about liking/loving each other, it also is about respecting each other! This is only my two cents :-) - Posted from rhpmobile
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gazpacho
12 years ago
I probably would never have used the word control in the context of a caring and sharing relationship, but I guess it applies, especially in relation to self control, of which I am in short supply, but fortunate to be loved by those who seem to have it in abundance to resist accidentally backing over me on the way out the driveway. Hugs Gazpacho
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RHP User
12 years ago
If it's a mans to take the lead..... Wtf do you think??? Lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' I think to have a healthy relationship the people involved must be emotionally available towards each other. If one person is emotionally available and the other emotionally Unavailable, the balance will not work. Just my own thoughts and I don't expect others to agree. Foxy What a very good point you make here Foxy. Being in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person is a very lonely, unfulfilling place to be in. Longing for more emotional availability will definitely upset the balance of a relationship. . Flirty x
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RHP User
12 years ago
For me, I need an absolutely equal partner. Someone who can ask my opinion, yet be strong enough to act on whatever she feels is in her best interests, regardless of whether its agreeable to my opinion or not. I would be bored within a week of dating someone with a "dependant" personality, on the other hand I couldn't date a woman who expected to be able to dominate me in everyday life.
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