F72
Why are you who you are?
April 15 2016
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
My parents from earlier in my life, no doubt. They instilled old school values and moulded me into the person I am. I was however always an individual and always traveled a lonely road in a sense or had a mind of my own right from when I was a child. So through my life, aside from siblings who I always looked up to, there wasn't anyone else until now, and that's me. I am most definitely my own mentor and proud of it, nice topic
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'm a combination of the books I've read, the decisions I've made, the people I've admired, and sometimes the ones I've consciously NOT wanted to be like. In terms of role models, I've had one former boss who has become both a friend and mentor to me, and grateful for her counsel, both professionally and personally. My grandfather always treated me like a princess, not in an "ivory tower" kind of way, but more as "extremely cherished and valued" and I've held onto that throughout those times in my life when I wasn't able to value myself. And my teenage daughter inspires me every day - she is one of the most socially conscious, compassionate and amazing people I've ever met. I hope I can be like her when I grow up. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Not to be like the abusive people in my life. It all changed for me at 22 years of age! I left my biological family behind, only seeing those who were positive influences! I adore my brother and that's where it stops :) I felt loved unconditionally (for the first time) from the minute I met my man! He is the salt of the earth, compassionate, brutally honest, sexy as fuck ! It took him years to show me how special I was to him and others around me and believe in me and my worth. He is an incredible parent too. I look over at him with our kids and feel envious ( in a loving way) of how good they have it with such a dad! My children inspire me daily, more so now as young adults! They may be young but when I see the world through their eyes, I have hope! I look at our son and admire his talent of music, he has his dad's sweet nature and loves people! My beautiful girl is a troubled soul but I'm sure she has lived before and struggles with human inadequacies! I wish at 16 I had her ability to understand and see things as she does, her sheer tenacity and determination, her focus to get things done! Professionally, my year 10 English teacher inspired me and my love of teaching! She was a beautiful lady - compassionate, understanding, caring and approachable! It's exactly what my students say about me, that is a great honour! I hope I mentor to others! They say I do :) Mary xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
Hugs to you both. I forgot to mention my English teachers - there were two of them that were both profoundly influential in my life. And can I just say, I never get tired of hearing stories about teachers making a difference in people's lives. It makes me happy in my heart. - Posted from rhpmobile
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
As a young trans (16) i was lost in a new life and very vulnerable. I met another TS and she took me under her wing and guided me through the next couple of years. We were soulmates/lovers and she tought me so much in a very tough world in the 70's and how to survive in it. But she didn't survive in it herself. I left that world after that but her lessons are remembered and partly made me what i am today. An experience that encompassed so many aspects of life, the good and the bad.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I feel blessed indeed to have had such a loving upbringing. You have come through it all to be the strong and unique people you are now. XX My parents are very different. My mum is a gentle and caring person. I learned from her to have compassion for others. My dad....straight talking no nonsense fella. Told me to be true to myself and tell it straight. Ive passed all of this on to my son and he is a big hearted young man but one who speaks his mind! They were my mentors. As I grew older I was very independant and battled through things on my own. Gave me the strength to make a life here in Perth for me and my boy when we were left alone thousands of miles from home. I will be eternally grateful that I have my beloved parents xx
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RHP User
10 years ago
...can be either a positive or negative model, for me it was the latter. By the time I was 18, I did not know who I wanted to be however thanks to a very abusive father knew that I did not want to be anything like him...a poorly educated and extremely violent alcoholic. Thus the goal posts were set for me due to negative influences rather than positive ones. I worked hard and am still working on becoming the person that I hope to be although did manage to dodge the bullets fired from the gun of a negative influence on my life. In a strange way, I do have my father to thank for that. Keep on keepin' on.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Self taught. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
I am who I am to serve as a big fat 'fuck you' to all the forces that have ever tried to shit on my sparkle. (That includes you Australian beuracracy!) Ironically, I doubt I would have made it this far if it weren't for all those that claimed I wouldn't/I shouldn't/I couldn't. But hey, that's me. I love a good challenge. ~KK x - Posted from rhpmobile
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Lovinit28andKC72
10 years ago
I've made the choices I made, because at that time in my life I was doing what I believed was the right thing to do or because I wanted to do it, I have no regrets. I have quite a remarkable story, I've come a long way, ive learnt a great deal, I've failed, I've succeeded, I've been knock down (a number of times) but I get back up. I've grown so much in the last 3 years and I think I've now found my true self and she is a beautifully strong woman, with a kind heart and an open mind. I'm me because of all the people I've crossed paths with, shared my life with, the good (my Dad, God bless with white cotton socks) the bad and the down right nasty. I made a conscience decision a few years ago, to rid my life of people that weren't worthy of me (including my mother), I now only have people that care for me regardless of the mistakes I've made or keep making, that know the real me and love me anyway, that don't pass judgement on things and people that has nothing to do with them, that have opened minds and that I adore. Is my life perfect, nope far from it, but it's mine and I'm Lovinit....💋
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MissBishere
10 years ago
a very normal upbringing in a stable loving family. my parents ere/are country people from a small town. They moved to Brisbane to provide more opportunities for their children and themselves. They worked hard and provided for their children. My fundamentals come from them, the strong work ethic, work hard, work long, strive to be the best you can, protect and love whats yours, the sarcasm, the high pain threshold...lol its all them... dads two pieces of sage advice if you have to hit first make sure they don't get up. when dealing with teenagers just keep talking. mums two pieces of advice just make a start and it will all come together and do it now. my open mindedness and the person I am now has come over time through life experience. Some bits have been a little rough but i survived and I'm stronger for it.(and probably just a little bit screwed up) my mantra is if you don't like your bed get out and make it again.
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MsJonesy
10 years ago
With two loving parents. My Mum always had some issues caused by trying to be something she wasn't, was very direct and not one to show her love. My gorgeous Dad was the friendly, funny and loving parent, but he passed away when I was in my 20s and I still miss him. I followed in the footsteps of two very smart siblings and had to live with the inevitable comparisons. I didn't like many of the kids I went to school with (a girls school populated with pretentious twats) and hated the silly games that teenage girls can play. So I learnt to walk away from those who I didn't agree with but it took me awhile to be comfortable with not having many friends; the measure of success for a teenage girl. These days I draw strength from those around me; I know some beautiful people (some of who have posted already) who are compassionate, intelligent, strong, funny and resilient. I had a wonderful boss for a couple of years who I am in still in contact with and who gives me pearls of wisdom on a regular basis. My family moved from our country town to the big smoke when I was in my teens. My history and english teacher wrote in my goodbye book "When you find the space to be you, your life will be rich and rewarding. Don't compromise, live the way you wish." Pretty powerful words which the teenager probably didn't understand. But those words have always stayed with me..... and she was so right.
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RHP User
10 years ago
...I don't think I took after my really strong one, when I think about it.There was my father...teacher, artist, author, disciplinarian...and I'm quite sure I've inherited his and mums humane values,but as a young man I'm pretty sure I was always a bit afraid of him. Don't get me wrong, I loved my father and I love his memory and his legacy, even as he died 20 years ago...but he was like a stern teacher at home too.I'm quite a bit more laid back than that. Granted, by the time he was the age I am now, he had achieved much more and helped improve the quality of life of many more people than I have so far.Personality-wise....I think I take after my mother. Perhaps that's why I enjoy our regular phone chats so much these days, unlike all through my 20's, where every 3 months or so I'd get a phone message from mum, "Hi ****, just checking to see if your still alive.." I don't really have any fond memories of my 20's...they were just unmemorable, not bad...and I'm aware that it was when I found my confidence and everything that goes with that in my early 30's, that I've really come into my own with a richer,more rounded character. And Life. If I can say so myself.Anyway, it's time to call my mum. Time is getting shorter...more so for her than me.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Thanks for sharing your stories. I am working with a writer friend to put my life in book form. I am the eldest of four kids and the only girl. I remember from an early age being told th only regret in my parents lives were the days we kids were born. We were all beaten, abused (emotionally and sexually). Starved, made to sleep outside in the winter with just our p's on. We were also sold to a pedophile ring to be abused as they desired. I left home at 14, choosing to become homeless after a particularly severe beating. The result being a fractured jaw and broken ribs. It was safer on the streets than at home. I survived with the help of friends from schoo and local shopkeepers. I continued to attend school where they made sure I had a meal everyday. After finishing school, I went into nursing where I met my wonderful husband, who took me under his wing, so to speak. Anyway all these years later, one brother has taken his own life. I am in contact with another brother and the youngest won't speak to me because when I left the beatings went down the line and he says I should have taken him with me. My role model is my absolutely amazing mother in law who has shown me nothing but love. We are the best of friends and because of her I know what love is. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
That is a terrible story,but you have transcended all that evil and pain.Very inspiring.Good luck with the book. Hugs Q
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RHP User
10 years ago
From Mother & Son (TV show)... her response to someone asking her about who she is (proof of identity wise), her response is "Well who else would I be?" Major influences: My nearly blind uncle who is the only family member I trust to share some more private (confidential) thoughts and talks. My best mate living in Canberra is also on that level. I would be nowhere without my dog, who has been my loved companion over the last 5 1/2 years. For the most part I am my own mentor also, while I have a great family, no one, except perhaps in recent times, has got to know me on the most personal level. Like many men we tend to try and battle through life's circumstances privately, it is certainly nice to have people who you can open up to emotionally to a greater extent.
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RHP User
10 years ago
tefQuoting 'libbylou' Thanks for sharing your stories. I am working with a writer friend to put my life in book form. My role model is my absolutely amazing mother in law who has shown me nothing but love. We are the best of friends and because of her I know what love is. - Posted from rhpmobile A great topic for a thread, I do believe we're the product of the sum of our life experience.While I have a lot to be grateful for I didn't have a happy childhood. I was never abused so I consider myself lucky.I did have a great step father and his parents come into my life as teenager without their influence I'm sure life would've been a lot different. When I was in my early 40's I had a bit of an epiphany when I realised that for the first time in my life I was happy, happy and content with what life had given me. It's a bit enigmatic that although what helps form us does not necessarily define us.The timing of this thread is almost uncanny as our daughter visited us today and she told us that she's grateful for the happy childhood she had. She realised she'd never said it out loud to us, it means a lot to hear that. Our son has told us a couple of times that he too is grateful for a happy childhood.libbylou I for one would love to read your book as I find it uplifting to learn about what the human spirit can endure and overcome. Albert Facey's Fortunate Life springs to mind.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Thank you Qefenta (love the name) I should add that I retrained from nursing to teaching. I now work in special ed with children with physical disabilities. It's so rewarding and I think maybe my life wasn't so bad after all. I also make myself available to students in the mainstream school who maybe at risk. I am still married to my wonderful husband, have three children and two grandchildren. I am surrounded by love everyday. I decided long ago to forgive or it would eat me alive. I indeed do have a Fortunate Life. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
What defines us is who we are in spite of our experiences not because of the,. Thank you all for the generosity of sharing your stories. I had an unhappy childhood but even then I was fortunate to have teachers and family friends as mentors In my early forties I discovered Tibetan Buddhism hich had a huge impact on my life. I met and studied with some amazing teachers.they became role models for me,Q
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sweetgem
10 years ago
With the help of the strong and tough genes I inherited from my mother 😋 I was separated from my parents at a very young age, probably even before I entered into my teens! So, I grew up with only one knowing or concept that I must not commit any crimes, but how to avoid that, I certainly didn't have a clue at that age! Hence, I did not go out much with friends after school, on the weekends and during school holidays until I grew to become a teenager, then I started joining a local youth club thinking it would be a safe place to be as there were educated adults who didn't look like a murderer (innocent mind thinking at the time). As I didn't have a special childhood, my teenage years made up for it and that's when I began to build the foundation of the person I am today! Of course, my life experiences through from my adult life play the major molding of who I am today, but my teens built the foundation for it. I say I found my own way in life because, my survival skills, work skills, knowledge of life, manners, sense of justice, morals, etc. are all self taught. Therefore, I am proud of who I am and I reward myself for not committing any crimes by travelling at any opportunity 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'libbylou' Thank you Qefenta (love the name) I should add that I retrained from nursing to teaching. I now work in special ed with children with physical disabilities. It's so rewarding and I think maybe my life wasn't so bad after all. I also make myself available to students in the mainstream school who maybe at risk. I am still married to my wonderful husband, have three children and two grandchildren. I am surrounded by love everyday. I decided long ago to forgive or it would eat me alive. I indeed do have a Fortunate Life. - Posted from rhpmobile I'm happy to hear your story has had a happy ending, libbylou. Irony is a strange bedfellow.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I am currently writing my own story ... I let go more of my past as I write, it's amazing how many memories surface and how cathartic it is when you are a survivor! You are an amazing person :) xxoo Mary
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RHP User
10 years ago
My main role model is my mum. Both positively and negatively. Inherited and worked hard to emulate her work ethic but actively worked to non emulate her negativity towards certain people. Certainly learnt from negative people and tried to not be like them and some of their narrow minded views. How successfully? Who knows. I can't recall anyone who has been an all round positive role model for me, so like many others here I've learnt from others and built my own path.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Two amazing teachers saved my life as a child. Hence I am paying the debt back and became a teacher myself. My childhood was a train wreck and I refuse to let that define me. I'd rather concentrate on the positive role model my two favourite teachers exemplified. Mrs LAL xx - Posted from rhpmobile
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