Why can't guys accept a polite "no thank you"?

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Some guys just can't take a hint but to help out it is worth telling them why. I've had someone say that I'm not what they are looking for even when I exceed what they have on their profile as their ideal match. Then others that say they are interseted in meeting anyone but respond they aren't interested. Becomes a bit confusing. So women give the guys a break, let them know that you think they are ugly, too short, too fat, too small, too much facial hair, too big, not the seual orientation you are after...whatever it is let them know. If you just say no thanks and your profile appears to be looking for them don't blame them for at least asking why. If they carry on with bullshit trying to change your mind that is another thing, in that case fair call to block them. Have a bit of compassion though, it's hard enough for single guys without the women making it harder for them.One of the latest (on another site I think) only looking for locals, apparently I'm too far away. 70km...I drive that far round trip going to work everyday, never thought it was that far.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  I've got a mate who has had more sex that I've had breakfasts and his suave technique is to approach of woman with the pickup line, "Do you want a fuck?" Now he gets many knock backs, but he gets lots of roots. The down side to that is that he often burns his bridges behind himself... so a lot of alienation takes place. Not the sort of thing to do in a small community... unless it is full of loose women.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  I think if a woman politely turns down an offer a guy has put to her just accept the fact that she is not interested in you and move on. You know its not damaging one's ego if you were declined in a polite and respectful manner but some men think with their penis and can't accept rejection or no for an answer and its these guys that have no idea on how to treat a lady or win their hearts. They should as I believe is treat a woman with the utmost  respect .I certainly think that woman don't like bullies and don't deserved to be bullied so if you want to win a woman's heart be a gentlemen and your results may be more fruitful. As for walking up to a woman and asking for a F**K  for me that's a definite no no, so get real and treat women with respect

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Don't need to be told twice, they say rejection is good for the soul....hmmm. When i had a solo profile i used to ask but once as well ! because not hearing backis the most common form of rejection round here.It helps if you only contact people you genuinely want to meet as well.As an asidewhile i was bored yesterday, i did a little research just to see how many women i would want to contact,who i paper matched with and actually would like to get to know/meet (if i was a single guy, but all other parameters the same) of a sample size of 160 profiles i ended up with 5, yep about 3%. Of those 5 how many would want to meet me? don't ask for details there are none, i was just after an end percentage.Though i am sure the percentage is way higher the younger you are, because the vast majority of women who rejected me on paper said i was past it, but there was one that thought i was to young....lolMoral of the story , do your homework,  make sure you honestly match 100% on paper first and that you really would like to know them before firing off that  message. (might save a lot of rejections and ignored messages)Cheers Nev....over 45 and on the scrap heap of life ( If i was single )

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  regarding what you want...so...if a guy contacts you... i assume that you check him out...and as loveandlust points out...if he does meet all your criteria... maybe ya need ta be a bit franker with your reasons... though this may lead to receiving horrible emails from a guy...especially if you think his feelings might get hurt... so maybe sending something along the lines of... "thank you for your offer, but at the moment i have a fb and i am just on here for the forums...have a great day and good luck with your searching"... you should receive an email back saying something...read it, delete it, and leave it at that cheers jose...

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  I respond with a 'no' to poorly written messages. No exceptions. As an English fanatic I find nothing less attractive on this site than text speak. Hey, if you really want to please me how about you use some full stops, huh?

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Sweet_Desires,   Well I checked out your profile and like Comea and Lovenlust have said, it is very specific.  I, for one, would never contact you after reading your criteria, I miss out on a couple of the vital areas.   As the others said, it is sometimes confusing for us poor males.  We read a profile (yes ladies, some of us guys actually do read a profile, not just look at the pretty pictures), see that we meet all requirements, and initiate contact.  Now comes the waiting game, sometimes we get a reply, more often than not we don't.  Now if the RHP gods are kind, we do get a reply, often a NO.  Now we are confused, why the NO, are we ugly, we didn't read the profile fully.  So we check again (that is if we are not blocked for having the audacity to actually contact the lady in the first place).  Yep, we read it right the first time, we meet all desired criteria.  Now we are confused, so sometimes a message is sent asking why, just so we know why and can close off.    Of course, there are the standard RHP desperates and idiots out there who can't fathom that a woman would dare reject their advances, and they certainly do deserve blocking.   I also agree with you about text talk, to me it shows a distinct lack of maturity and extremely poor manners.  It is like they couldn't be bothered to take the time to compose a decent message, it seems you are not worth their time doesn't it.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Lovenlust,   Oh I can sympathise with you on that, I have had exactly the same response from a couple of ladies (and I use that term loosly in this instance) that I live too far away at the Bay.  One was actually hilarious because her profile stated quite clearly that she didn't want someone who was going to 'live in her pocket' yet she wanted someone within 5km of where she lived!  I guess some women just don't exactly know what they want or use the distance thing as a generic NO lol   Sweet_Desires,   Just one other thing.  As many, including myself, have stated, your profile is very specific in what you desire.  Of course there is nothing wrong with that, but is it really fair?  I know guys that weigh more than me that classify themselves as athletic, because in their minds they are.  They are big, they are bulky but they are fit and athletic.  Secondly, the matter of the appendage.  I would never contact anyone who is that specific in their profile.  To me it shows a certain amount of shallowness.  I am sure if a guy has stated in his profile that the women must be a size 8 and only A or B cup, he would be immediately classified as shallow and demeaning to women.   Take care and good luck with your search.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  If you went to a club you would be surrounded by drunk, brain dead young guys with an erection and no idea that will pester and annoy you for sex until they pass out or you go home... The law of averages would suggest that a few of them wll posess a credit card and be members of RHP. As much as you may feel compelled to be polite and answer the messages you get, I would strongly suggest you only answer the ones your interested in and perhaps include in your description that you will only answer matching profiles. Don't feel you owe anyone any explainations on here.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Re appendage..... I guess that does sound shallow but in my defence my partner is very well packaged and I've become so accustomed to that that anything less does not do it for me.... I HAVE given it the old college try!  Call me spoiled.. shallow... bitch... whatever you like but most of all please call me honest.  Of course you could always say.... it's not the size of the engine in the car, it's the driver behind the wheel.   And to lonelygirlbris..... thank god there is another English fanatic!  And to be fair.... it's not just the guys, some of the girls are pretty bad as well, but it's mostly guys who contact me so that is why I "picked on" them.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  A no reply or a no thank you means I will not message the lady again. Maybe it does me out of a bit of action, but it's always up toi the lady, I guess.

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Saying no to people..men or wemon alike is never easy...and often it's even harder for the other person to hear..it's the feeling of rejection...it's not a pleasent one..being able to accept someones rejection is an ability that many of us still find hard..not just in sex but in all aspects of our lives..but sex especially because it's a rejection to us as a person and our abilities to please... Dont judge people to harshly.. we all have our faults..give people some credit for having the esteem to keep trying and deal with rejection in the best way they know how.. it takes a big person to say no...it takes an even bigger person to accept it gracefully.. as for spelling..I've never been a very good speller and I know many people who use short cuts in there text.. a poorly written email..is not a reflection on who the person is but the fact they took the time to write to you shows that they thought you were worth the effort.. we are very quick to judge people these days...let us no forget that no one is perfect..and what u see in emails and chat is only a very small part of who that person really is..

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