M57 F54
Why do alot of couples not use condoms, or are prepared to only if asked?
June 27 2011
Comments
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RHP User
15 years ago
Approx 80% of STI, can be caught by oral. With the highest risk being unprotected anal, then viginal (no we dont want to hear they are 20mm apart. The anus and vigana is built different with different design criteria which is more reverlent than distance between anus and vigina) then oral. So the thinking will go why do it half way condoms for oral as well. Condoms wont protect you from about 60% STI. But are good in high risk encounters. So adjust the protection to the risk enviroment like parties where you dont personally know people condoms for everything or just watch. Is a good policy. Just read on the viagra thread it was suggested guys on uppers at parties ...another good reason to watch at parties and own partner sex only or condoms including oral. A couple that you have got to know, are not in the high risk groups, you have no red lights flashing. Is there validaty in lowering the protection? Sure they could be telling lies? Lifestyle choices of ourselves and others does make up safe sex procedures, plus monitoring am sure we all have thoughts "wonder if I have something and dont know" With and without condoms no different! But monitering is good protection as well. Belts and Braces?
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RHP User
15 years ago
Interesting isnt it. The other issue is beside the obvious STD risk, is how does a guy feel about going into a woman in group play when another man has just come in her. Could see that getting quite messy. The issue I see is that more dont even ask, they just try and put it in without one, and then you feel like the bad guy for asking them to use protection. It does make you wonder if they always do that and who else they have been with. Because we dont know everything about everyone, and alot of STD have no symptoms at all and males can be carriers. Truth is we would all probably prefer unprotected in a perfect world.
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RHP User
15 years ago
Quoting 'pleasure4usnu' Interesting isnt it. The other issue is beside the obvious STD risk, is how does a guy feel about going into a woman in group play when another man has just come in her. Could see that getting quite messy. The issue I see is that more dont even ask, they just try and put it in without one, and then you feel like the bad guy for asking them to use protection. It does make you wonder if they always do that and who else they have been with. Because we dont know everything about everyone, and alot of STD have no symptoms at all and males can be carriers. Truth is we would all probably prefer unprotected in a perfect world. That surprises us, condoms have allways been used at parties we have attended. Nope we would not entertain sex with people that permission has not be given. Was it a gangbang? We had one couple where the guy requested no sex or oral with our own partners before swapping, so yes it would be a worry to some. We prefer the couple to couple not the party causual scene, just seems nicer and safer to us. Others will disagree. You are right about undetected STD thats why monitoring is important. We get the impression if you mention sex clinics and monitoring some think you are big time players high risk and stay clear!
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RHP User
15 years ago
..but these days would not root without them. Nothing better than skin to skin but not at any cost. Personally, I find they deaden my feeling and too often I dont get to cum, so theres always the urge to rip it off and stick it in. But I dont... if we're not responsible for ourselves, then who is .?Tried the non latex condoms and they were great. No more reactions to latex ones.. Mr JJ
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RHP User
15 years ago
No we have found occasionally with another couple, or at a party, we do oral forplay, then the male will attempt to put it in without a condom on. Obviously Im doing Oral without a condom. Problem is they dont ask, and also when you mention it, most are ok, but it leaves you thinking, and also sometimes they are a bit funny that you asked then to put one on. great to see a sexy girl feels the same way we do
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Mr_MrsJones
15 years ago
I agree with Just Enough, condoms are not a magical barrier that will protect you from anything and everything. There needs to be other 'barriers' like screening and avoiding high risk situations. I too have had men try and put it in without a condom without asking first but not so much at parties. Another thing that happens at parties which is also a no - no for us is moving from partner to partner without changing condoms. Re Pleasure's comments about having sex with a woman that has cum in her. A lot of men find this to be a huge turn on. Mrs Jones
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RHP User
15 years ago
I hate them but as others have said, I would not have sex (with the exception of my Husband, of course) without them. It's just not worth the risk. It's very annoying when a guy has lost his hard on because even the thought of them gives them a flop but bad fucken luck. If it's not on, it's not on !!
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DonnaBrett
14 years ago
Like Pleasure4usnu we have seen many instances at parties where condom use almost seems to be a no no! Many times some guys are willing, stupid or arrogant enough just to think they can slip it in uncovered without so much as a how do you do? Condoms aren't the be all and end all to keeping safe..but they are a good place to start and should be a MUST! The old excuse of them limiting sensitivity is a crock. Condoms now are so thin you hardly notice them...and some guys saying they can't cum with them on...so what..isn't that a good thing?The thing that amazes us is that some people who refuse to use them seem like really intelligent & sensible folk...we just can't figure out their logic??? For us that old slogan still stands here " If it's not on...it's not on"
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DonnaBrett
14 years ago
...totally apart from the STI subject....if in a perfect world where there were no diseases it would still be risky for another reason. Unless everyone playing had been sterilised....usual contraceptives aren't 100% foolproof. What a mess it would be if a woman fell pregnant to a swinger partner!!!!!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'DonnaBrett' The thing that amazes us is that some people who refuse to use them seem like really intelligent & sensible folk...we just can't figure out their logic??? For us that old slogan still stands here " If it's not on...it's not on" We hardly ever see a profile that says condoms = "Never" and also are surprised more dont tick for all activities instead of just for intercourse. We think watching and own partners are good safe sex for randoms. Or maybe a condom themed getogethers to try different flavoured condoms, or those new viagra condoms. It does worry us the logic its OK for no protection for oral does not add up to us. The STD infection roulet game....line up folks whats the odds 1 in 1000 or 1 in 1,000,000. STD dont discriminate. And yes absolutely agree you should not play without birth control being 100%.
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rupamohan
14 years ago
Looking for condoms that is odourless, colourless, easy to open with messy hands, natural feel & good heat transfer, easy to put on, 56mm, available in melbourne. Is sagami 02 best??
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RHP User
14 years ago
I have a latex allergy, and my boyfriend's simply too large for regular condoms. We've tried looking for the larger non-latex condoms, but they're incredibly difficult to find as well as being ridiculously expensive. Because of this we don't use condoms when we're alone, but he's always protected with any other women.If anyone does no where to find large non-latex condoms I'd really appreciate the knowledge.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'DonnaBrett' Like Pleasure4usnu we have seen many instances at parties where condom use almost seems to be a no no! Many times some guys are willing, stupid or arrogant enough just to think they can slip it in uncovered without so much as a how do you do? Condoms aren't the be all and end all to keeping safe..but they are a good place to start and should be a MUST! The old excuse of them limiting sensitivity is a crock. Condoms now are so thin you hardly notice them...and some guys saying they can't cum with them on...so what..isn't that a good thing?The thing that amazes us is that some people who refuse to use them seem like really intelligent & sensible folk...we just can't figure out their logic??? For us that old slogan still stands here " If it's not on...it's not on" If I were to have sex with another man that I would definitely want him to wear a condom, no question about it. I agree with DonnaBrett - if its not on, its not on.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Don't get me wrong... I think (or have been brainwashed like you and believe that) condoms are mandatory for any situation other than with that involving your main partner, but do you ever just wonder whether all this STI talk is scaremongering? . I don't deny the fact that STI's exist, but isn't it kinda odd that sex is made out to be such a dangerous activity, when people have other types of close contact with each other all the time and manage to survive without a nasty infection of some sort. And by that I mean any of the array of close contact situations - I mean sometimes I stand in a lift and feel closer and more exposed to the people in it than when I'm having sex (perhaps I am doing something wrong... in the lift I mean...). Public transport, accidentally shared coffee cups at work, drunken pashes in a nightclub, people who don't wash their hands after the toilet or before eating... Are we just easily persuaded to believe the world is full of nasty STIs because it's our 'dirty' parts involved? Just wondering aloud.... . And what's going on with everyone becoming allergic to latex? Is it the latest trend taking over from the peanut allergy?? . Actually I ask because I haven't had justenough googltistics....
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DonnaBrett
14 years ago
There's so many excuses to not use them...it's ridiculous..1. latex allergy...well "actively" source out non latex condoms, in all sizes. 2. Can't cum with them on....so what?..you get to play all night..gotta be a plus! 3. Lose the erection....take a viagra4. Lose sensitivity...bullshit!...use ultra thin ones 5. Don't like the after taste....go and wash, which everyone should do between partners anyway........etc etc...... there is just no excuse not to use them...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Jean_Girard' . Actually I ask because I haven't had justenough googltistics.... Hows your NG Tree Frog mating habit studies going? You haven't kept us informed. Also on the Anal sex we are both givers with condoms not receivers ...Are you ready to receive? You do have a nice arse. We cannot understand the intelligence of people that say condoms for intercourse and expose themselves to Oral without condoms. Plus they are into Riming ? Duh Reality check JG? PS ..I see your point sneezing in public is comparable to oral sex without condoms. What are you on? Do us all a favour and get to your local sex clinic....really sneezing in a confined space = the same risk as oral sex without condoms....You must he High? or country boy sheltered life maybe? Be carefull of toilet seats you will get aids.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'JustEnough' Quoting 'Jean_Girard' . Hows your NG Tree Frog mating habit studies going? You haven't kept us informed. Also on the Anal sex we are both givers with condoms not receivers ...Are you ready to receive? You do have a nice arse. Thanks it is kinda wrinkle free isn't it, but no thanks, you strike me as incredibly selfish. . We cannot understand the intelligence of people that say condoms for intercourse and expose themselves to Oral without condoms. Plus they are into Riming ? Duh Reality check JG? Sorry - I don't just mindlessly accept statistics. Even less so statistics sourced from syphipedia, or perhaps sex clinics - which if you think about it have a vested interest in generating fear. . PS ..I see your point sneezing in public is comparable to oral sex without condoms. That isn't my point. My point is that it is unusual that sex happens to have all these unpleasant, incurable and almost mythical diseases attached to it, yet when someone sneezes on me, I get a cold which is gone in a week or so. . What are you on? At the moment? Apple and cinnamon muffins . Do us all a favour and get to your local sex clinic....really sneezing in a confined space = the same risk as oral sex without condoms.... Depends on your definition of 'risk'. I was referring to the risk of contagion. . You must he High? These muffins do have some form of icing sugar on them . or country boy sheltered life maybe? Nup - just challenging the status quo. The government forces me to wear a bike helmet, tell me that if I don't I will become a paraplegic mess, yet in reality my chances of that happening are pretty remote. Unfortunately they have to cater for the lowest common denominator in society. I'm glad it's getting through to them though. . Be carefull of toilet seats you will get aids. Good one... almost as clever as this well worn, tedious trend of posting and then using 'secret ink' to somehow dilute what you are saying. I mean if you're going to say something, for fucks sake just type it in normal font.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Jeano, one day we will sit down and have a few beers and maybe I'll try and explain about the scare mongering furphie about which you speak. In the interim keep wearing your condoms bro. Hugs Gaz
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Jean_Girard' Quoting 'JustEnough' Quoting 'Jean_Girard' . Hows your NG Tree Frog mating habit studies going? You haven't kept us informed. Also on the Anal sex we are both givers with condoms not receivers ...Are you ready to receive? You do have a nice arse. Thanks it is kinda wrinkle free isn't it, but no thanks, you strike me as incredibly selfish. . We cannot understand the intelligence of people that say condoms for intercourse and expose themselves to Oral without condoms. Plus they are into Riming ? Duh Reality check JG? Sorry - I don't just mindlessly accept statistics. Even less so statistics sourced from syphipedia, or perhaps sex clinics - which if you think about it have a vested interest in generating fear. . PS ..I see your point sneezing in public is comparable to oral sex without condoms. That isn't my point. My point is that it is unusual that sex happens to have all these unpleasant, incurable and almost mythical diseases attached to it, yet when someone sneezes on me, I get a cold which is gone in a week or so. . What are you on? At the moment? Apple and cinnamon muffins . Do us all a favour and get to your local sex clinic....really sneezing in a confined space = the same risk as oral sex without condoms.... Depends on your definition of 'risk'. I was referring to the risk of contagion. . You must he High? These muffins do have some form of icing sugar on them . or country boy sheltered life maybe? Nup - just challenging the status quo. The government forces me to wear a bike helmet, tell me that if I don't I will become a paraplegic mess, yet in reality my chances of that happening are pretty remote. Unfortunately they have to cater for the lowest common denominator in society. I'm glad it's getting through to them though. . Be carefull of toilet seats you will get aids. Good one... almost as clever as this well worn, tedious trend of posting and then using 'secret ink' to somehow dilute what you are saying. I mean if you're going to say something, for fucks sake just type it in normal font. As your counter debate has consisted of swearing, personal insults, challenging the government and specialist clinics....all better now Petal? And you never got round to explaining no condoms for oral is acceptable? A open mind needs to be convinced with fact. A open mind does not just accept.
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RHP User
14 years ago
pretty much what Brett and Donna said :) be safe, pratice using condoms, always ask before trying to "slip it in" dont drink (too much) if you need help...use it if your big, bring your own big condoms .. we always have wipes in bedrooms for our partys, USE them between partners, and no getting rid of yucky rubber taste. or run to washroom for rinse.. be prepared Berns
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RHP User
14 years ago
How did we get from using condoms to a goverment conspiracy theory. Its just precious really
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RHP User
14 years ago
The original question about some couples tending not to opt immediately for a condom could be that in some cases (limited...and definitely not if they are into the party scene) may have more of a "swinging monogamous" type of relationship where their circle of playmates is quite close, perhaps even based on a very good friendship and a lot of trust backed by appropriate and regular check ups. That would be the only reason I could think of or guess as to why...and really, for first timer and more random interactions, definitely not an excuse. There really aren't too many, are there? |The discourse on oral sex and disease prevention will continue...albeit the various parts of our bodies do have very different way in which they defend us against infection. Our nasal passages, mouths etc. are exposed to various virulent and bacteriological daily that don't always effect us for this very reason. Sure, you see the folks on the trams coughing away then grabbing the handrails...probably best not to go lick those right away, but interestingly enough some of the more prolific STI infections have a high morbidity rate when exposed to changes in temperature or air for even a few seconds so knock you self out if that's you contribution to keeping public transport clean and safe for the masses.|A latex allergy can be very real and a bit of homework will show that it if you do have it....all latex products such as balloons or kids toys (or adult toys too) may cause a systemic reaction. Note the reaction is generally systemic like a case of hives, impaired breathing or can cause swelling and irritation in a generalized area of the body. If that occurs, see your doctor...and maybe think about wearing something around your neck that might alert emergency medical care providers to your condition. If all you are "suffering" from is a bit of tenderness or irritation isolate to your genitals...maybe you should think about your overall hygiene and whether 24 hours of non-stop sex might just be the culprit. |Now as for 'scaremongering" it just could be a heinous plot to get us to use condoms by the folks that make them. On the downside, space in the hospitals and the provision of care for people that only have themselves to blame is becoming more limited...that is of course unless you are Derryn Hinch and really did deserve that liver after you blew yours out. You just may find a lack of empathy and end up getting the care that you may just deserve unless you are famous or have a lot of money to spend bypassing those in front of you in the line.|Alternatives to latex condoms are abundant....Lifestyles Skyns are made from polyisoprene and avoid the issue all together. They are also perhaps even a less uncomfortable than some of the rest...and do prevent disease. Some of the other alternatives like Lambskins will work to prevent pregnancy with reasonable efficacy...but are virtually useless for the prevention or transmission of disease.|If you really want to see the look of fear in someone's face, assuming they haven't been licking the handrails on the tram....the next time you introduce yourself to someone new just say "Hi, I have been having unprotected sex with multiple partners for a few years now. Can I buy you a drink?" That ought to do it, just like when your mother told you there was a bogeyman under the bed and you stayed there for the night. Thanks mum, you old scaremonger...|...I still worry about that you know. ||Just kidding...I looked and there are only dust bunnies there, you can't fool me.
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DonnaBrett
14 years ago
|If you really want to see the look of fear in someone's face, assuming they haven't been licking the handrails on the tram....the next time you introduce yourself to someone new just say "Hi, I have been having unprotected sex with multiple partners for a few years now. Can I buy you a drink?" That ought to do it, just like when your mother told you there was a bogeyman under the bed and you stayed there for the night. Thanks mum, you old scaremonger...|This has been the best response so far...spot on!! LOL
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RHP User
14 years ago
We wonder what the difference in reaction would be? Walking up to a complete stranger and saying, "At least once a month for years now I have been going to sex parties where 2-6 different Strangers Fuck me over a 3 hour period, buts its OK they wear a condom for sex and we only go without condoms for oral when they cum in my mouth!!" Hahahaha! Snap?
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playfulminx
14 years ago
Sadly yes. I think many couples have become comfortable with barebacking in swinging so condoms have kinda become optional for some. We've also got a generation of younger swingers who didn't grow up with the Grim Reaper ads so the fear of HIV/AIDS isn't as prevalent. Given a lot of people are able to live with HIV/AIDS now thanks to retroviral drugs, it isn't necessarily viewed as a death sentence now either. This sort of complacency will get people in trouble one day I'm sure :(Realistically, swinging couples in Australia are probably more at risk of catching genital warts, herpes, chlamydia and gonorrhea than HIV. Does this mean that condoms shouldn't be used then? Hell no! Herpes is a life sentence of sorts. Manageable, but your life is never the same. Other things can be cured with a course of antibiotics but are you ever going to feel good about swinging again knowing that someone out there gave you something, and in turn you gave it to your partner or someone else entirely new? Not sexy...Condoms are about peace of mind. Who the hell wants to wait for path results or a phone call from some couple you met last month who thinks you gave them chlamydia? :|
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RHP User
14 years ago
he is single and plays with 2 seperate couples and as we can discuss anything I have asked him.. the 2 couples are very seperate and if he uses condoms... his reponse is that with one couple he does and with the other one he doesn't. I asked him how can he be so sure and he says it is a feeling he gets. So me being me.. I wanted to know was there any visible signs that prompted him to be so discretionary.. to which he responded no... So as a couple how do you decide who to go bareback with and how closely do you examine their bits to determine if there are visible signs?.... and as we all know.. alot of diseases are not visible anyway
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RHP User
14 years ago
Unfortunately there can be no signs of infection at all, and many can be carriers. And it may come from a friend of a friend, so the fact that you think you know the person you are playing with, does not mean you know everyone they played with. With oral, there is a lesser chance with chlamydia, only because the bacteria does not like the throat as much, and saliva can kill it, but there is a risk and yes if you choose to do oral without protection you do run the risk. But in the scope of things, the nasties that are life threatening including hepatitis, why would you want to risk it when thats through unprotected vaginal or anal sex. Nothing sexy about that I'm afraid, and nothing sexy about someone who chooses to play russian roulette either Im afraid by not using condoms. Herpes is for life, no cure. Hepatitus can have no cure depaending of what type, HIV well we know about that. chlamydia can cause girls to be sterile. Lets just all be safe! doesn't mean we cant be naughty!
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RHP User
14 years ago
We completely agree wear condoms but feel some maybe naive that condoms are luring you into a false sense of security. Consider: Condoms are only effective against 30% of the STD out there, We should protect ourselves from those 30%. 80% of STD can be caught via oral, By law hookers have to use condoms for oral as well as intercourse? Sure the risk might less but what in reality makes the STD different between 1 in 1000 or 10,000 risk? As an example more female lives are lost from sexually transmitted HPV virus than HIV in the USA, condoms are totally ineffective as this virus is spread from skin to skin contact from mid thighs to mid abdomen, you don't need to have sex, virgins can catch this STD! Why don't the condom manufacturers tell us this? Surely lifestyle, Pre set qualifications with our play friends, for example a couple that has only had sex with each other they are safe, if they meet another couple the same the four will be safe and so it goes. As soon as a couple or just a wife or husband goes outside this circle the logic is flawed. But then the logic if I go to sex clubs and we just wear a condom for intercourse we are safe....no sorry we don't agree it is not safe you are just limiting 30% of the STD which is good but not ideal in our world! But 30% is better than nothing so folks...bloody well wear them! You bet we would wearing condoms for sex and oral at sex clubs and parties, but most probably we would opt for sex with our own partners and just watch others its just too risky. But give us a couple to couple play privately, with lifestyle criteria applied risks are reduced, until someone breaks the rules or tells lies, and yes we will be wearing condoms for intercourse which is protecting us from those 30% and we are trying to get our protection rate higher! 30% protection wearing condoms for intercourse is not good enough for us, we need to aim higher.
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playfulminx
14 years ago
As JustEnough says, condoms won't prevent absolutely everything and certainly if you're engaging in oral sex, then you should be mindful of what you're putting your mouth on :)If we were all clever people I would happily advise that people use condoms and play with discretion but the world's full of not so clever people who aren't very good at using discretion :( I'd rather the not so clever people be lulled into thinking that condoms are essential than have them exercise discretion and think barebacking everyone whose name doesn't start with A is safe because A stands for AIDS... You get what I mean. If you think I'm exaggerating, rest assured that there are people out there who assume that shagging in a spa is safe because the chlorine will kill all the nasties...I don't think it's a bad thing to have a strong condom culture in the swinging scene. I'd definitely rather have people assume that it's required than assume that it's an option. Over the last 5 years I'm noticing more and more people only pulling the foil packets out if asked.So for the clever people, by all means work out when and when not to use condoms and who to play with :) newbs64 - Had to giggle about your friend. I'd say that he uses a condom with one couple because *they* want him to, and the other couple doesn't mind :|
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RHP User
14 years ago
I think you name it.. and I've met someone that has, or has had it. STD's are no myth. I also see a lot of people barebacking.. and we all know it is risky.. yet occasionally I still slip up... I think the best strategy, save for abstinence, is to look after your own interests and don't rely on others to "do the right thing".... half the people with an STD wouldn't know they have one anyway.. or rather they prefer not to know, by reason that they never get tested.HUgsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Stalky you have been on the scene a long time and have seen most things as you say, so I wanted to ask you something. In group situations it is often hard to keep track of everyone particularly when some activities happen behind your back. Well you know what I mean. Do you ever see guys slip the condom off when the other person isn't looking??
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RHP User
14 years ago
Actually my question above should go to all you swingers out there. Have you seen it?
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RHP User
14 years ago
I've never seen anyone do that Meeka but if I ever did, I would make a loud fuss about it. Usually, poeple get carried away in the moment... you can see them kind of pause... they might look around... damn it... none in sight... lolz... should I?.. I know I shouldn't... maybe I'll just tease a little bit and then go and get one....... oops... well.. I'm in now... seems like a nice person... would have protested by now if anything serious... (that's teh worst mistake a person can make) .. i.e. .. not protesting.. and assuming the other person is safe.HugsStalky Quoting 'Meeka100' Stalky you have been on the scene a long time and have seen most things as you say, so I wanted to ask you something. In group situations it is often hard to keep track of everyone particularly when some activities happen behind your back. Well you know what I mean. Do you ever see guys slip the condom off when the other person isn't looking??
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RHP User
14 years ago
That's good. I have to say some guys I have been with over the years have taken the first opportunity to loose the condom so you continually have to ask them to put one on. Only reason why I ask. xx Meeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100'Actually my question above should go to all you swingers out there. Have you seen it? We have been told by the hosts of parties they do pull guys up for not changing condoms going from girls to girls, (trying to sell the idea to us to attend their party) so we believe it does happen. As we answered one of your similar threads, some wont take a No from the husband and will insist on hearing directly from the lady, that is first hand. Guys have paid heaps to get in they want bang for their $$$$. We choose not to swing at those places.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'JustEnough' Condoms are only effective agai nst 30% of the STD out there, We should protect ourselves from those 30%.Oh yep... 30%... where did you pluck that figure from? Feel free to provide references....
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RHP User
14 years ago
Not changing condoms between partners is a minor gripe compared to putting one on and then slipping it off when she isn't looking so you can have sex without one (which I think was Meeka's question). I've seen the first often enough... but never the second.HugsS Quoting 'JustEnough' We have been told by the hosts of parties they do pull guys up for not changing condoms going from girls to girls, (trying to sell the idea to us to attend their party) so we believe it does happen.Quoting 'Jean_Girard' Quoting 'JustEnough' oh yep... 30%... where did you pluck that figure from? Feel free to provide references.... Well... simple Math gene.... I guess if you can list ten STD's and condoms are effective against three of them... that's 30%. lmfao.... you just have to be careful which STD's you list.HugsStalky
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'stalky'Not changing condoms between partners is a minor gripe compared to putting one on and then slipping it off when she isn't looking so you can have sex without one (which I think was Meeka's question). I've seen the first often enough... but never the second.HugsS Quoting 'JustEnough' We have been told by the hosts of parties they do pull guys up for not changing condoms going from girls to girls, (trying to sell the idea to us to attend their party) so we believe it does happen.Quoting 'Jean_Girard' Quoting 'JustEnough'oh yep... 30%... where did you pluck that figure from? Feel free to provide references.... Well... simple Math gene.... I guess if you can list ten STD's and condoms are effective against three of them... that's 30%. lmfao.... you just have to be careful which STD's you list.HugsStalky 1 - I think swapping partners without a condom is a pretty dodgy act... I mean you are effectively protecting yourself (from 30% of std's and the cost of a condom) but exposing the poor hapless young lady on all fours in front of you. At least if you go bareback the risks are 'shared'... Bit like tandem parachuting I guess.. although you could argue the experienced parachutist will always use his 'partner' as a cushion from the ground if things go wrong. . 2 - I think my problem was I couldn't count as high as 10, and 30% of 5 leaves a remainder. This is also the reason I can only make 2 points here.
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RHP User
14 years ago
To have this be the first safe sex thread I didn't participate in, especially after JG's scare-mongering remark, but alas, I've caved into temptation. And I make the following points in no particular order: . 1) As usual, I think it's interesting that noone is talking about the use of dams, despite the fact that you cannot truly say you practice safe sex unless you use them. I dare say the responses to this forum question would be drastically different if you substituted the word condom for dam. . 2) Yes, Meeka, it happens. A lot more than you might think. Happy to elaborate on why I am extremely convinced of this - elsewhere. It really does come down to what Stalky said about you being 100% vigilant and take responsibility for your own protection or wear the consequences. . 3) The 30% cannot be quantified. And before you jump down my throat and call me petal JustEnough (which I always get a giggle from your correct spelling of, in light of the fact you f*ck up the spelling of the word parent so often LOL), I'm inclined to agree with your point. But not your maths. And this is why (Note, I'm going to have to do some summarising and cut/paste work here, I have to go to work - but I'll offer up the simple-to-read source that this was taken from (one of many available for the purpose of sexually educating yourself), should you wish to challenge this info: . "Let's start off with a basic premise, as laid out last year in the New England Journal of Medicine: "he protection that condoms offer against a specific sexually transmitted infection cannot be precisely quantified." The article gives a few reasons. First – well, it's a bit awkward to discuss, really, but researchers studying condom use don't typically watch their subjects use condoms to make sure that (a) they really are using them, and (b) they're using them correctly; instead, they rely on self-reporting, the reliability of which is suspect. Second, the transmissibility of HIV specifically is affected by numerous factors (the presence of other infections, for instance), which in turn creates variation in the observed effectiveness of condoms. Also, ethics get in the way of some of the more effective research designs – if a subject has an STD that's treatable, for example, it's not OK to withhold treatment to see if condom use will keep them from infecting their partners. And there's also the need to control for the fact that often people at lower risk of exposure (e.g., members of monogamous couples) use condoms less regularly than people at higher risk (single people with multiple partners). . - This is what JG is challenging you on . You cannot quantify the effectivity of condoms in the way you have. It can't be measured. You can significantly reduce your personal risk by using condoms, dams and having regular sexual testing but you cannot negate that risk by saying you use condoms. It's a dangerous fallacy, which is why I didn't like JG's first comment, even though I was aware of the point he was attempting to make by "challenging the mainstream. I think it was ignorant of the facts and I don't think it requires much more comment than that. I look forward to Stalky setting him straight over some beers sometime soon. . Skin to skin contact, bodily fluid contact, condom slippage/failure, immune system weakness, open sores, all contribute to risk of contraction of an STD or STI and yes, the worst ones cannot be seen. . Take personal responsibility for your sexual health and be educated about the risks your sexual activities involve. It's too easy to forget that every time you have unprotected sex with someone, you are doing so with everyone they've slept with and everyone that those people have slept with and ... you get the point I'm making. . Here is the link I got the paragraph above from: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2264/do-condoms-protect-against-stds-other-than-hiv . I also think you can learn a lot from visiting http://www.swop.org.au . I'm stepping off my soapbox now ... and I feel better ... kinda. . Flirty x
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Jean_Girard' said Bull Shit Quoting 'JustEnough' Condoms are only effective agai nst 30% of the STD out there, We should protect ourselves from those 30%.Oh yep... 30%... where did you pluck that figure from? Feel free to provide references.... JB get to a sex clinic and YOU review their STD fact sheets and come up your numbers that way YOU will learn by your own research, Its your body, its your responsibility how you wish to protect yourself. You will only close your mind and argue with us. Here is a clue learn which STD are passed via blood and semen vs skin contact as a starting point? Why do you argue this point we have the same end result to wear condoms? We are glad to see we do agree that not using a new condom for each partner is a big no. We really think this whole casual group sex thing with many partners per night on a regular basis in our opinion and our safe sex decisions is hi risk. Love the picture of your bum....yummmmmmmm Stalky; Just quickly we should agree to disagree with your thoughts that its minor for guy not to change condoms between ladies. We think that logic is flawed you are presuming ladies don't have / carry/ transmit STD that can be passed from one lady to another VIA a used condom and then from the lady to her husband. In our book same effect as no condoms. Hahahaha BOOM BOOM BOOM Std destroyed direct hit by a condom! Battle command status: Condom survived next lady please! We respect your right to have have your opinion.
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RHP User
14 years ago
ask the owners of adult shops for latex free lg condoms. and if they dont have any ask them to get you some in. all the ones i have spoken to are more than happy to get things in for you if they dont have them. i do oral without a condom mostly because i love the taste of cum. i wont do penatration without one. pregnancy is one reason sti is another. i also think its super rude if someone tried to enter you without one on.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'ladyk81' ask the owners of adult shops for latex free lg condoms. and if they dont have any ask them to get you some in. That is awesome.... why stop at adult shops, I'm going to start asking for them everytime I see a cute girl behind (or on top of) a counter "I'll have 500gms of mince, two Tbone steaks and some latex free EXTRA LARGE condoms please"...... "Oh what you don't have EXTRA LARGE condoms? Or just not latex free EXTRA LARGE condoms?" ..... "Oh ok cool Can you order some in for me, because I think we're going to need them?" *wink*. . Head to deli and repeat. . Head to bookshop and repeat . Head to Myer and repeat.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Hi all, Aparently oral sex IS safe, the acid in your mouth and stomach will kill any nasties ... but if they get in your blood stream that's different and to avoid that happening don't brush your teeth for 2 hrs before or after Oral sex ... it takes the gums 2 hrs to heal up after a rigorous brushing...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Cuccy6' Hi all, Aparently oral sex IS safe, the acid in your mouth and stomach will kill any nasties ... but if they get in your blood stream that's different and to avoid that happening don't brush your teeth for 2 hrs before or after Oral sex ... it takes the gums 2 hrs to heal up after a rigorous brushing... that the internet is the worst source for useful information. . Please... do share... where have you found out that herpes, gonorrhoea and syphilis can no longer be transmitted during oral sex. . And does this mean if I spit on my dick I am safe? When should I spit, before or after... is it better to give it a spit halfway too?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'Jean_Girard' Quoting 'Cuccy6' Hi all, Aparently oral sex IS safe, the acid in your mouth and stomach will kill any nasties ... but if they get in your blood stream that's different and to avoid that happening don't brush your teeth for 2 hrs before or after Oral sex ... it takes the gums 2 hrs to heal up after a rigorous brushing... that the internet is the worst source for useful information. . Please... do share... where have you found out that herpes, gonorrhoea and syphilis can no longer be transmitted during oral sex. . And does this mean if I spit on my dick I am safe? When should I spit, before or after... is it better to give it a spit halfway too? It's beginning to look as though you'd be far safer sucking your own dick JG! . And to think I was totally convinced that your scaremongering comment would be the dum ... most radical statement made in this thread! Hehehe ...
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RHP User
14 years ago
yes i know u are taking the piss out of me but Jean_Girard you are am awsome smart ass. thanx for the giggle. LK
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Sigmalonewolf
14 years ago
for the record i'm not saying people shouldnt use condoms but if you think using an ultra thin condom is going to give you the same sensitivity as bareback you are crazy!!! try having a plastic bag inside you and have your b/f fuck the plastic bag.... oh there might be some warmth and preassure but forget friction!!
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mooloolabacpl
14 years ago
for gods sake i bet 99 percent of all of playmates dont use protection for oral sex and it is clinically proven tha ta desease will be easier caught through oral other than intercourse, so all you people saying that you wear condoms i bet most dont for oral both ways. So if your gonna insist on condoms then do it for oral as well as intercourse cos there is no poiint wearing them if ya dont .
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RHP User
14 years ago
My partner Simo & i recently had a 3some with another woman. I asked her "do u have any Do's or Dont's that you would like me to abide by?", to which she replied "only one......i would like it if u never came in another woman, as i would never let another man cum inside me, thats our special thang, thats the one thing that you & i will only ever get to do to eachother that no one else ever will!"...........needless to say that just made me fall even more in love with her & im only to happy to abide by this loving request. Love you BUNCHES Simo, xoxoPleasure4usnu..........you do what u feel comfy with, & never go against ur morals & or beliefs.....if other peeps dont like or cant accept them.........tuff tities to them!Thats all !
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RHP User
14 years ago
I am, unfortunately, of the age that remembers the AIDS adverts. It is quite scary to meet younger blokes that do not use without asking condoms. I have playmates older than me who use without asking. It seems to be something that comes with age. And scarily enough now being the mother of two teenagers means I am explaining this to people I assumed would have been taught this at college? Maybe I an wrong?!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Merrywife, I don't know about the young boys but don't be fooled, there are definitely old dudes out there who do not want to wear condoms and bitch and moan about it. And will take every opportunity to not put the condom on unless you ask... time & time again. No respect! xxMeeka
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RHP User
14 years ago
If you think it might rain - use a raincoat Quoting 'Meeka100'That's good. I have to say some guys I have been with over the years have taken the first opportunity to loose the condom so you continually have to ask them to put one on. Only reason why I ask. xx Meeka Quoting 'stalky'I've never seen anyone do that Meeka but if I ever did, I would make a loud fuss about it. Usually, poeple get carried away in the moment... you can see them kind of pause... they might look around... damn it... none in sight... lolz... should I?.. I know I shouldn't... maybe I'll just tease a little bit and then go and get one....... oops... well.. I'm in now... seems like a nice person... would have protested by now if anything serious... (that's teh worst mistake a person can make) .. i.e. .. not protesting.. and assuming the other person is safe.HugsStalky Quoting 'Meeka100' Stalky you have been on the scene a long time and have seen most things as you say, so I wanted to ask you something. In group situations it is often hard to keep track of everyone particularly when some activities happen behind your back. Well you know what I mean. Do you ever see guys slip the condom off when the other person isn't looking??
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RHP User
14 years ago
Would be nice if we had reliable vaccines for all common STI's... and a handheld device that could tell you yes or no...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'DonnaBrett'..usual contraceptives aren't 100% foolproof. What a mess it would be if a woman fell pregnant to a swinger partner!!!!!! i was wondering this... does anyone know of someone who hass fell pregnant to a swinging partner?
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'we_are_no_angels' Quoting 'DonnaBrett'..usual contraceptives aren't 100% foolproof. What a mess it would be if a woman fell pregnant to a swinger partner!!!!!! i was wondering this... does anyone know of someone who hass fell pregnant to a swinging partner? Nope because swinging couples only do anal with their spouse not in swapped situation, so pregnancy is not of concern.....
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sunnyfun
14 years ago
We have only ever gone bareback with one couple - who we had known for 8 years and just started swinging( we were their first) - we felt that was a pretty safe bet and both guys were sterile.We have met a few couples that grumble and put on a condom for sex - we do oral without but only as foreplay -never come in mouth is just something we don't think about at the time - just happens that way and we prefer it.It really is a shame as one of the sexiest and nicest playmates we met- cant use them, it only came up after lots of foreplay and we do so we cant play with them...bugger!Each to their own, we hate being lectured about why we shouldn't wear them so I'm sure people that don't wear them are sick of being told they are wrong too.... its a personal thing so keep it that way.CheersMr Fun
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RHP User
14 years ago
i wish...
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RHP User
14 years ago
i wish...
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RHP User
14 years ago
Wearing a condom is like wearing seatbelts or sticking to the speed limit. It's annoying at times but at the end of the day you are safer, healthier and have more respect for yourself and your partner.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Weather you like them or not, if the person your entering asks you to wear a condom, you should wear a condom, it all comes down to respect!
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DonnaBrett
14 years ago
Quoting 'biflab' Wearing a condom is like wearing seatbelts or sticking to the speed limit. It's annoying at times but at the end of the day you are safer, healthier and have more respect for yourself and your partner. GOOD COMPARISON!!! WELL SAID!!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'BearLeeBare' Weather you like them or not, if the person your entering asks you to wear a condom, you should wear a condom, it all comes down to respect! exactly... if you choose not to wear one then fair enough but if the lady asks you to wear one then you should
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RHP User
14 years ago
We see some profiles of couples where the male says if required and the female says always. We really have a problem with the mentality of a couple in a swap situation thinking that any other couple is going to even consider that bullshit! My wife deserves and we are going to demand every bit the respect that you are specifying for your wife, we just dont get some people.
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RHP User
14 years ago
Condoms are a good backup to the pill for preventing pregnancy and that is about it. They are not going to effectively protect anyone from STD's. Your are better off getting regular tests and insisting your partners do likewise. If in doubt get them to show you a copy. Play with people that you know are STD free and get the most out of your fantasies rather than take the risk in the first place. Just a different school of thought.
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RHP User
14 years ago
she went to swingers parties where she let guys fuck her in the ass and letting them come in her now she got cerval cencer do you thimk that how you could get it
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QLDtwo4fun
14 years ago
No condoms no play. Good dental hygiene and good personal hygien are also a must.
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RHP User
14 years ago
We see it ALL the time !! Wtf !??? Seriously why you would do it it beyond me ! Hepatitis c, genital worts, herpes, clymidia , HIV, etc all have bigger implications than a run of antibiotics ! I don't play with guys who balk at condoms , EVER ! I see lots that do not wear them and it makes me not want to go there ! In the big picture it's not a big deal , feels a little different , can pause the moment for a second or two , better than getting sick , pregnant, or dying from this scene !
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'karl6969' she went to swingers parties where she let guys fuck her in the ass and letting them come in her now she got cerval cencer do you thimk that how you could get it And you sound like a douche bag.Cervical cancer, like other cancers, happen to those who are pre-disposed to it. Some cervical cancers can be caused by specific HPV virus (I think it's 14 and 16). This is what the cervical cancer vaccine actually vaccinates against. Note, the main cancer causing HPV viruses aren't the ones that result in visible genital warts. So, yeah, it's a hard one eh?HPV is the very common warts virus and condoms don't really help prevent transmission as it's a skin-to-skin transmission.Pap smears are every womans friend and should be taken ever 2 years, and when abnormal cells show up, then more screening/action from there. Sure, she could have gotten pregnant, or an STI from such risky practices, but unsafe sex doesn't make you get cancer.
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RHP User
14 years ago
HPV(warts) and HSV(herpes) are not tested for when you get an STI screen. That's due to a couple of reasonsa) they can't tell if the virus is genital based or elsewhere based i.e. cold sore in case of herpesb) the stigma attached is worse for the patient than the actual knowing (I kid you fucking not)You should go about your sex practices as if everyone you're fucking has HPV and HSV. So, don't fuck around with open cuts/nicks/sores in genital region. Perfect conditions to get an infection.Always use a condom. This will prevent the really nasty things that are born by body fluids ie HIV, syphilis and also protect against gonnorhea, chlamydia.Get vaccinated for Hepatitis, especially if engaging in anal play.Wash between partners.Get regular sexual health checkups, especially if your rooting around, in the swinger scene and especially if fucking the under 30's (kids these days, just don't use condoms for some reason).
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RHP User
14 years ago
I have been to a party where bareback is an option but you must have a recent sexual trasmit disease certificate present at the party to prove that you are disease free. Otherwise not using condom is very disgusting...especially when you are in a swinging community. There should be no excuses.
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RHP User
14 years ago
The starting point with new partners really should be the expectation that condoms will be used. If the partner says no it's not needed, and that fits your preference, then sure .. everyone can choose as they wish, of course.But to try and just get it in there bare without even asking, as some people have said they have seen, is about as rude as it gets. You're trying to override somebody's choices about their own health and safety. If a person prefers bare, all it takes is getting a condom out, making eye contact with a questioning look, and receiving a nod or shake of the head in reply. Done.In reply to OP, in a perfect world we would love to not have to use them. Our main reason for that is a liking of creampie, but he also gets put off a little by having them on. Note the "a little" part ... considering the benefits of condoms, it's really a no-brainer to just suck it up and use them. Kinky desires also aren't as important to us as our health and safety.As others have noted, condoms don't stop everything. We think of these things as an "acceptable" level of safety though. Seat belts and speed limits, as biflab said. If you really wanted to be 100% safe from car crashes, you would never get in a car. Only abstinence can be 100% safe, and everyone has their own level at which they are comfortable.Side note: one issue that we have with RHP's profile settings is only having the "if required" and "sometimes" options for those who may occasionally have intercourse without protection. Surely, some people would look at a profile that says either of these and think "they play unsafely, avoid them".The thing that is not communicated by these options is that the person/couple may use them always, except for when they are totally sure that their playmates are clean. In this case, "if required" would actually mean "99.9% of the time, they are required".
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RHP User
14 years ago
Quoting 'karl6969'she went to swingers parties where she let guys fuck her in the ass and letting them come in her now she got cerval cencer do you thimk that how you could get it We have never swapped partners nor been to swingers party where anal sex is practised.
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Mr_MrsJones
14 years ago
Quoting 'Dieselnoi' I have been to a party where bareback is an option but you must have a recent sexual trasmit disease certificate present at the party to prove that you are disease free. Otherwise not using condom is very disgusting...especially when you are in a swinging community. There should be no excuses. I would be interested to know what recent means. Results dated yesterday?, last week?, a month ago. Bearing in mind that the test results take several days to a week to return and they are only a gurantee if you haven't played since the test was taken or you weren't in an incubation period when the test was taken. Don't get me wrong regular STI checks should be a mandatory part of everyone's protection but you do have to take into consideration the limitation of the test!
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RHP User
14 years ago
Condoms are basically only effective if used correctly and at all times, this goes for oral, anal or virginal. That includes changing condoms between partners. Having said this if you know your partners there is nothing better than skin on skin. As mentioned by mr-mrsjones it's not really an issue for some guys to enter a woman already cum filled by another partner. It's not only a turn on but there is also similar behavior in large mammals eg whales where multiple males try to flush the semen of a previous male with there own. I guess we are not very different!
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