F60
Why don't men follow through & what am I doing wrong
May 28 2008
Comments
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RHP User
18 years ago
Sweetheart, I don't think you are doing anything wrong. Being honest and straightforward,chatting first and then suggesting a meet for the "chemistry", I think is the best way to go about finding a playmate, lover, whatever. Maybe your just unlucky and chosing the wrong ones? Perhaps they are fake profiles? I don't know. However, it is very rude and inconsiderate of them to not get back to you and leave you hanging! GRRRRR, and don't take it to heart. If your being upfront they should return the courtesy. Just be happy you didn't meet them and play, they were obviously not worth it. keep smiling, Ax
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RHP User
18 years ago
god bless you shyandsweet,,take no notice of the wasters listen and talk to the ones you think are proper .single ladies need to meet in a public place FIRST then if yo want take it to the next stage whatever that might be but at your pace.. if there pushy tell em to bugger off..your problem at the moment is meeting someone but that will come. so dont give up on us blokes yet but choose right all the best michael x
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RHP User
18 years ago
i think there is some crazy game going on, in some mens heads. i have expeienced the same, maybe they just get frightend. i odnt know. i honnestly think some men(ppl) are so used to playing bullshit games that when WE (women who are upfront and clear) come along they freak out.I have actually met others though, and it has been ok. Public place coffee, drink ect.Most hve been just that but thats ok too. good luck.
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RHP User
18 years ago
shyandsweet honestly i know what you mean ans as a guy it is a lot harder to even get into the lets meet situations. I know you probably think these guys are been harsh by the no reply but honestly they are just playing bullshit head games like most women on here. I think people need to be more clear and upfront with what they want. I think you are going about things the rite way its just the pathertic guys your cuming across at this stage. Anyways ive said my part happy hunting and i hope you find a real one for a change.
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RHP User
18 years ago
Some guys are just scared I guess. The net gives you anonymity so maybe they prefer to keep their interactions online only. Who knows?
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RHP User
18 years ago
A confussed female....now there's a rarity hahahaha Tom Cruise stood me up last night so there's a lamb roast still available, so shall I set a place for you? DJ
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RHP User
18 years ago
S&S dont u know that most men are just plain stupid??? lol they always want what they cant have. if u dont want them..they want you. if you want them..they dont want you. sheeeesh..cant bloody win!!! lol oh..and to gaz... loved yr profile darl...esp the shower scene..got me tingly!!! hehe
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RHP User
18 years ago
Shy, You reckon u have problems? Its happened to me a couple of times too. Unfortunately there are a fair few time wasters on here. All I can suggest is maybe going for those that have got themselves verified to try and weed out the time wasters. Geography isn't in our favour so I won't lead you on, I don't there is much chance of us meeting seeing as we are in different states :) Cheers, Capt Jack
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RHP User
18 years ago
Sweety its not nearly as bad as it first seems. The men who chat to you online and then dont turn up for a drink up are the timewasters you've been lucky enough lose with the least of effort. You may have to endure a few before you see a man in person who may really interest you - thats just the way internet dating goes where numbers means a LOT of timewasters and losers. You've set the pole high with what you've said you're seeking - articulate men who put some effort into establishing chemistry and a potential relationship may be statistically rare but there are still plenty on this site. There's no need to feel bullied into jumping into bed with a stranger, the right man for you will expect to meet you in a public place and chat socially first. Please allow me to make one little siggestion though: the cliche of a picture being worth a thousand words can do wonders towards attracting the right kind of person for you. These days there need be no stigma at all about declaring that you are single and looking, so get yourself a nice pic and post it; then you'll see a difference in the type of people that you attract. Wishing you all the best. I look forward to hearing that you meet the kind of man you are seeking x
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RHP User
18 years ago
Perhaps the fact you dont have a photo makes the concept of meeting you less real in their heads. Therefor when you say you want to meet, they freak out and leave you hanging.
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RHP User
18 years ago
Hi you are not going about it the wrong way the guys that stood you up are playing games they are fake. If they really wanted to meet you they would goes to show that they are not men of there word. When you find the right one they will meet with you and you will know they are the right one.
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RHP User
18 years ago
All i can say is toughen up, this is a sex site you will get the genuine people and the fake ones, be it male or female dont think one can just point a finger at the guys. Trust me we have had our full of this stuff, mostly from couples, block and delete, easily solved. shy
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RHP User
18 years ago
The men may be committed elsewhere and are online to soothe their ego through flirting with women(Its not just men doing it either I know of women whom do the same too). Perhaps the people if they are attached should be honest enough to say so.I doubt that if someone found them sexually hot theyd say sorry cant have sex your in a relationship.
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RHP User
18 years ago
I have found the same thing no women want to follow up but hey I keep trying I might get lucky one day
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RHP User
18 years ago
I've just had exactly the same experience. I've been swapping mails with a girl here, we switched to MSN so we could chat live, then talked on the phone. All through that, we were good. We got on well, wanted the same things and it looked like we were on for a good time. Then I started trying to get a real meet. We'd both agreed to do coffee first, nothing challenging. At first it was "Sorry, can't make it." I asked if she'd changed her mind, and was told no, all good. Now, I get no response at all. I'm not mad about it though. What I think happened is that there is a girl out there who made a decision when she was horny. While we were chatting, she still didn't have to face up to really getting out and meeting me, so she could keep believing she'd do it. When I actually pushed for a meeting, she had to face up to it and got scared. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's to be more sympathetic than angry or upset. The girl who's been chatting to me has missed out on a very decent bloke. I suspect the guys who've bailed on you are missing out on even more.
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RHP User
18 years ago
I'm convinced you're doing nothing wrong at all. Don't try and be something you're not and don't change to second guess what others might want! Although it's a pain (happened to me a couple of times now on this site), don't change your M.O., then you'll eventually find what you're really after!!
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RHP User
18 years ago
Very very true. Heaps and heaps and heaps of people want to cybersex or at least chat at great length about sex and what do we like and what postions and oh can you change the pic please. and these people will never meet up in a million years.
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bondage_reality
18 years ago
Its because you are chatting to them via flirts and messages Get into the chatroom and talk in public for a while If you cant find a person you like in the chatroom ...lower your standards or give up My 2c worth Bondy
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RHP User
17 years ago
I imagine most of the guys are married and don't want to tell you and when it comes to meet, they get cold feet or can;t organise the time. I agree with an earlier person, chat with them in the hot chat and really get to know them longer rather than just a few flirts and a message or two. Email each other a few more times and chat on MSN or something. Overall, I think it is a common problem for all of us who want to actually meet people.
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RHP User
17 years ago
I think there are always going to be a proportion of people that don't want to take things any further than flirting ... for whatever reason ... in or out of the chat room. Its one of those "am I still attractive" issues I suspect. Going to some of the meets separates out the "real" people from those that want to keep their rhp experience virtual. There are regular coffee meets that are a great opportunity to suss people out and a stack of events to pick and choose from. Asking people to say hi there is a low key alternative to meeting for a drink. Also, as a woman it doesnt hurt to post a question to the girls only forum and ask for references for prospective dates. Hope that helps!
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RHP User
17 years ago
I personally think its as simple as you dont have a picture on your page, give them a reason to want to meet you, Its not rocket science. Ian.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Very confused female ?? " RELAX" ,, the others are too,,!!! (oooooooo, did i say that? ),,,, Theres a shit load of reasons for this conundrum , all of which do not infer anything to you !! Some people are still open to chat at a social level whilst exploring the chances with another !!.. Some people would love to root you , but their wife is on holidays , OR it could be your little brother in the next bedroom acting like a little KUNT!! I do the no show regularly , why show them im only 4` 10" , grotesquely obese with a nose that runs profusely,, when i can leave the deal looking like Brad Pitt , with a dick like a fence post ? Never blame yourself , always blame others !!! ~~~Horrible~~~
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RHP User
17 years ago
Well Shyandsweet1, I'm sure you will find someone if you keep looking; at least that's what i keep telling myself. In the 5 months I've been on RHP, all I've had were two requests for friendship, that wouldn't even talk to me, and some flirts, which I have messaged back, and received nothing else. Kind of leaves me wondering what I am doing wrong. Steve_W.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Shyandsweet1, I thought you would have realised by now that the reason most blokes have a hole in their cock is so that their brains can breathe. In essence, most of them are - apparently - players....which is a shame.
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RHP User
17 years ago
for fuk sake. get verified. pay for membership. put up a horny pic. or go on another site. Easy peasy.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Yep I agree with Steve and here I was thinking that it was a problem with me When you read some of the profiles on this site one would think that getting together for a drink or lunch to get to know each other would be a given but it seem that this may be being to forward. or is it. So who’s doing what wrong???
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RHP User
17 years ago
I know exactly where you are coming from! I am constantly getting flirts from women who seem really interested in meeting up but when I suggest we meet up.....silence?? Personally, I think there are heaps of people on here who deliberately look at my profile several times each, just to wind me up. And like you say, when it seems like it is time to meet, they disappear into cyber space and ignore you. Or worse (and this has happened to me 11 times now!), we would arrange a time and place to meet and I get stood up! It is time people walked the walk, not just talk the talk, or BUGGAR OFF!!
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RHP User
17 years ago
I must say...some of your responses are hilarious...and thanks so much.I'm happy to pass on my photo via that other instant messaging medium...and we usually chat....and then it just fades to grey.If someone doesnt like the look of my photo,I'd rather them just say that they're not interested,rather than chat forever,arrange a date and then cancel at the last minute.UGH! But glad Im not the only one in this situation
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RHP User
17 years ago
its nothing your doing hun. we too have had ppl message us saying they are interested and then half way though changed their interests completely,we clearly state in our profile that we only play as a couple, and are only really seeking one special particular experience which they start out as agreeing to,and then change tactics by saying in the end they are only wanting one or the other of us involved.
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RHP User
17 years ago
email me or chat on messenger I will show up!! Richie
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RHP User
17 years ago
Darling the same thing happens to us all - sadly:(
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RHP User
17 years ago
It happens to all of us, people change their minds, get scared or have issues they haven't mentioned (like a partner lol) Don't stress too much - it obviously wasn't meant to be. I met my current sweety online so I promise it can be done....
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RHP User
17 years ago
You are in the minority. It is beginning to seem that many come on line as voyeurs. they like to look. That is why so many need photos. But that is not what we all are. you can't base a relationship on looks. There is more to everyone. In time the right one will come on line, Nothing good happens over night. I look but I am not an Adonus, so no-one replys. We all just have to hang in there.
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RHP User
17 years ago
You can meet your soul mate on these sites as I did with Venus. There are real people out there so keep looking. The thing is to meet the right one for you and vice versa... thats the hard bit. And when you do its very good. The more truthful and upfront the profile is means hopefully you find the right partner quicker. Mars
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RHP User
17 years ago
I totally agree with michael4u. Not only should it be in public but you should set up a safe call. This is when a friend calls at a set time to check all is ok. Any man should accept this and you should have a good time. No point me making a date though, wrong side of the planet :(
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RHP User
17 years ago
It's not only the men on here who are into mind games. We are platinum members and send off our 20 emails per day but are lucky to get a reply from any. It just takes a simple click to tell us if we are or are not what the lady is looking for. But we get ignorance instead. We are finding it very disheartening to even get on here each day. It would seem that most of the people on here are shallow and don't really want to meet. They want to play mind games instead.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Do you really send 20 messages a day? Do you do searches and message the ones who are seeking what you seek or just blast away? nuff said. Mars shyandsweet1 Posted by: TrueBlueAndAngel Date: Jul 16, 2008 It's not only the men on here who are into mind games. We are platinum members and send off our 20 emails per day but are lucky to get a reply from any. It just takes a simple click to tell us if we are or are not what the lady is looking for. But we get ignorance instead. We are finding it very disheartening to even get on here each day. It would seem that most of the people on here are shallow and don't really want to meet. They want to play mind games instead.
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RHP User
17 years ago
There are a lot of timewasters on here but maybe a lot of single ladies dont want to play with a married man. A married woman maybe but not necessarily a married man. Food for thought anyway
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RHP User
17 years ago
and on that note....same goes for women.... I think "meets" in any form, should be met with at least enough respect to notify the other if they are not going too turn up. There are alot of "false people" with "false pretences" ie there is a whole lota hurtin going on, nearly as much as loving, NB NEARLY... Damo suggested coffee meets, these are great, ive met alot of lovely ppl from here @ these meets.....dont tell him I agree with him though PMSL... A picture, as many have previously suggested, is also a great idea, although some members are, for 1 personal reason or another, unable too pubicise there face....i suggest a shoulder downward shot. In short, your not doing anything wrong, as far as I can tell by reading your post.....as I say FOOK EM, one way or another LOL Dont give up on what you want, and settle for nothing less.. InnuenDUO aka Xx Wet xX PS....I was interested in reading your profile, but alas, it is locked, hopefully you will be up and running again soon x
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RHP User
17 years ago
hi Shyandsweet1 for the record its not you at all cause im copping tha same deal !! Like why bother flirting or mailing if your not going to follow through. maybe RHP should set up a register to block inconsiderate timewasters from contacting anyone at all or boot them off all together and make space for genuine peeps. lastofthefew
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RHP User
17 years ago
Well include me in the send message then nothing brigade. It would have been better for the people who have not had this problem to post. We could all learn a lot from the two to three people in the history of online dating who have not had this problem. And to as why this happens,, ???. Ive got no problem showing up for a date. My profile is honest. I have no proformance issues to make me pike out. Its all a mystery what go's wrong for me and no doubt for you as well. Eehh,, perhaps it worked out for us all in another paralell universe. A very distant one I think.
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RHP User
17 years ago
i have had enough of the exact same stuff you are talking about. i have been on this site for some time now, starting as a guest, then platinum and have sent and received heaps of flirts and messages and still nothing. if you are not on this site for real then get the f off it and stop wasting peoples time or at least have the courtesy to answer even if its a no
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RHP User
17 years ago
I agree with kissablelipss men want what they can't have don't message don't chat be rude nasty and funny and they follow you and ask you out and give you pretty little compliments but for god sake don't be honest that comes later when you've formed a tie with that individual and i mean once you've met them interacted even become friends or just regular chatters. Transparency can usually be the killer mystery can be a bonus.
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RHP User
17 years ago
we did start to chat and then it stopped your profile's locked would be glad for us to establish some kind of connection, hope you’re up and back to your sensual self soon outthereandy
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