M40
Wives that love single guys
February 28 2015
Comments
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Happens VERY regularly. A major hazard of the trade. Love cannot be controlled. Couples play at their own peril and need to bevery secure in their relationship.
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RHP User
11 years ago
but like CucknShells, I will never leave my husband because I love him. I can't replace a Lifetime of experiences that I've gone through together with my husband, with a man that I have just met and I wouldn't want to. Women in this position must think very seriously about what they want to do. They must weigh up the odds. They must possess "a sense of reason" ; not just go with their current emotions. Yes, I love this man but I love my husband too and as long as my husband is alive, I will not leave him. He is my original Soulmate. The only reason that I will have cause to leave my husband is if he falls "out of love" for me, through mistrust. In an honest and open relationship this shouldn't happen. Ours is an unusual relationship. My husband has a partner and I now have a boyfriend. My boyfriend and I choose to keep our sexual activites "private" just as my husband and his partner choose to keep theirs. Each deserves respect and understanding. My boyfriend is "single" in that he is no longer "married" but he still has commitments of his own. He does not wish to break up my marriage, so all is good. So now you have my answer, OP. Amy
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RHP User
11 years ago
So how does it work if u both have partners outside your marriage.. Have u ever played I front of each other
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RHP User
11 years ago
I enjoy playing in front of hubby but I know he loves to watch me , sometimes he just watches and some times he joins in . I suppose this decreases the risk of falling in love with a playmate as we are both involved all the time . I have played on my own in the past and one guy started to get feelings which caused a few problems as we had to make sure he knew who and what our priorities are - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Lust yes. Never in front of my husband nor give him any idea I am actually doing what he said was ok. He likes his head in the sand. Single or married makes no difference to me I have the morals off an ally cat. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
So u don't tell him about your escapades?
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RHP User
11 years ago
I heard an old forum contributor who became addicted to the chat rooms left her husband for someone she met via the chat rooms.
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6exxy
11 years ago
Yes it happens OP. This also relates to another thread about pricing for singles males at swingers parties here in WA.
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RHP User
11 years ago
If I play with a couple or the female of a couple, then I make it clear that it's on the basis of play only. As the single guy, it's my job to respect the marriage and control myself. And the woman needs to respect her own situation and control herself. If a woman's marriage is that shaky that she would leave her husband through meeting someone else on here, then she should sort out her marriage before going on RHP and vice versa. Sorry if that seems harsh, but anything else is dishonest. I don't buy the bullshit that 'you can't help who you fall for'.
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RHP User
11 years ago
some actually meet and do all sorts of ... things and have no intention of leaving their security blanky xo
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RHP User
11 years ago
Chances are your living a dream and I gear what you say ,,,, chances are if it's real she will stay with her man and you wo t exist ,, hear :) won't - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
by saying that we wish to keep our sexual activities "private" it means that we don't play in front of the other Couple. If you think about it, there are actually 3 Couples here. My boyfriend and me, my husband and me, my husband and his partner. Whichever Couple is together, we never think about what the other is doing. We don't really care because it is none of our business. Each is entitled to their own privacy. We are adults so we behave as such. Amy
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'thepeach' Lust yes. Never in front of my husband nor give him any idea I am actually doing what he said was ok. He likes his head in the sand. Single or married makes no difference to me I have the morals off an ally cat. - Posted from rhpmobile Sometimes it's better to have your head in the sand than the alternate feeling of being dis empowered and being disrespected and worse in a public forum. I personally prefer the Gentleman's "lie" and moral compass.
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RHP User
11 years ago
The hot wife/slut wife thing is really big in the US & I can see why.....very erotic :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
With Fit73.,,you can control who you fall in love with...if you are in a secure marriage and you think you are becoming attached to a playmate,talk to you partner and move on...I am not sure as to why you posed this question OP.has this happened to you or are you concerned that it will..If you are in a situation where it is happening then my advice is to move on...let the couple sort through their issues xxFreys
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Hottie1
11 years ago
I'm am so lucky to be playing with others yet have a wonderful, sexy marriage. My husband is my primary relationship, he is the man I love and adore, full stop. Anything that arises and puts any of that in jeopardy, I remove myself from that situation. I'm lucky that hubby is open and sometimes can identify 'issues' before I see them and we openly communicate any concerns he or I have. In saying that, I play regulary with a number of couples and singles, I care deeply for them, I couldn't have sex with them repeatedly if I didnt. I think the reason we all gel and get along is because we all respect our primary relationships first and a great trust has been established. I'm going to the QLD meet and greet with two gorgeous men (playmates)! imagine the trust there from all our partners, I will not do anything to jeapordises that trust! Mary xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Control over who we are attracted to,but when that chemical cocktail of oxytocin and serotonin kick in we need to say"danger Will Robinson" and walk away if we re not free to love this person...If we had no choice then why would we fall out of love,love requires effort,not just a chemical cocktail.To say we have no choice IMO is abrogating personal responsibility ...Sex is a very powerful thing,and sometimes it's not just about sex xxFreya
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RHP User
11 years ago
To believe otherwise is fairy tale nonsense IMO
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RHP User
11 years ago
I see that a problem can arise if the primary relationship is not strong or if there is something missing. We have had issues where couples we played with had problems in their relationship and appeared to be using us as substitutes for deficiencies they had. Mrs donnamick recognised early that things were a bit off, Mr donnamick sometimes has blinkers on and the situation discussed and we left them to their own devices. A lot of care should be taken and a very open dialogue between the couple is a necessity. We recently met two couples that have very quickly become very good friends. We both enjoy them as friends first and enjoy having sex with them. We all seem to respect each others relationship and would not jeopardise each others happiness and security.We are all lucky to have fantastic partners that allow us freedom to enjoy time with each others partners. Lots of love to you all, bring on S & S, where we all get to meet up and make some memories and of course have a lot of FUN.Michael
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RHP User
11 years ago
It's good to hear this cause no one wants to be a home wrecker! But how does the women who is playing in front of her hubby usually feel is she enjoying it totally or is hubby holding her back I've been with a couple recently and the hubby is a cuck and absolutely loved watching his wife with me I'm just wondering what's the woman's perspective.. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Please explain? I spoke to my husband about rhp. I was actually divorced from him when I started her a few years ago. I have been divorced 12 years. It was a huge awakening for me to be here and experience a range if lovers who actually understood my needs and desired and who gave me experience I had not had before. I could not in all honesty go back to that sex life. So three years ago he ask to give it a go. I said I cannot return and give up what I know now I am capable if as a woman awakend. Do you see there was a choice in his part. All marriages live in the land of compromise. He is fifo and he can do as he pleases. A few rhp women have made him offers but he just prefers not to. When he us away I have no idea if he plays at all it's his business. Like amy says each poly amorous relationship forms it's own shape. I respect my husband but I also respect my own true nature. There are marrued women that are good girls and the price can be never having an orgsm, no oral, no kissing. Not told you are beautiful I know I had dinner with a few last night. It's not a matter of humiliating our husbands it's our sexual survival and being made love too even if it's a one night stand. It makes us breath again. One if the woman I can see is dying on the vine. Because she is the faithful wife. And yes at our age we need security . Young single woman find it hard enough to get commitment let alone an old woman on the scrap heap. That is why there us no danger of falling in love. We are not complete fools. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
What do you mean? Are you saying I treat my husband like that? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
OK I'm a real slut 😘 and Graham loves that but I couldn't have great sex without some sort of love for the third person BUT we have a program of working on our relationship which we don't do with others, and that keeps us at the cutting edge. If I have a guy that is stirring emotions in me we discuss it together and work out why. It is all about communication - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I'm not implying anything your words posted in black and white not mine.I added my thoughts to how i read.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Funn4u' It's good to hear this cause no one wants to be a home wrecker! But how does the women who is playing in front of her hubby usually feel is she enjoying it totally or is hubby holding her back I've been with a couple recently and the hubby is a cuck and absolutely loved watching his wife with me I'm just wondering what's the woman's perspective.. - Posted from rhpmobile I am not married and I won't bore you with my story but I have been playing with the same guy for 4 years and I love performing for him. And he loves to watch it. It is the interaction between my lover and myself which is exciting.... err not that I am disrespecting the second guy or anything but the fact my lover is there is what makes is exciting. I have seen couples at swingers clubs bonking other people yet you can feel the connection between them. They are constantly looking over at each other. Funn4u you have to understand that the performing for each other is a huge turn on and you play up to your partner... you are probably oblivious to it but your couple would have been communicating with each other the entire time you were there through words, through their body language and via their eyes. It is whole other conversation that you are not really a part of.
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Maybe the ability to control your love is dependent on the persons makeup. That old saying we are all different comes to the fore. But still believe every person is vulnerable given circumstances and the chemistry of those involved etc. Anyone that thinks that it is 100% controllable may find themselves in unchartered territory one day. When the new person in their life causes all logic to be turned upside down and their stable and neverending attachment to be severly tested and questioned. Seen it so many times and to someone very close to me. Its something that you have to experience to understand or perhaps make you believe that you will never understand it. Not sure why the thread is gender based but think the same applies to both.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'thepeach' What do you mean? Are you saying I treat my husband like that? - Posted from rhpmobile Nah, it sounded like you were saying you were cheating on your husband form the way you worded your first comment. But you have a "don't ask, don't tell" arrangement which is a completely different thing.
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RHP User
11 years ago
It is all about timing Annie,being aware that it's dangerous,and walking away or not.It is when people choose the ...or not..And then say,I had no choice,that's what shits me to tears..in this we always have a choice..To act on our feelings or not..It's called free will xxFreya
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Yes I dont believe anyone could use that term. Always a choice of course. Its just the reasons behind the choice become compelling. Not sure if that makes sense. Im feeling a bit ditzy I think.......
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Freya79' It is all about timing Annie,being aware that it's dangerous,and walking away or not.It is when people choose the ...or not..And then say,I had no choice,that's what shits me to tears..in this we always have a choice..To act on our feelings or not..It's called free will xxFreya It is selfish of married people to continue seeing someone if they think the person has started to have feelings for them. It is oh so lovely for them to all say.... I am in love with my FWB but I am in love with my partner and have no intention of leaving them. I think that is totally selfish as I don't think a lot of people can handle poly situations. What do you all think?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Annie, I have experienced it, but it was still a choice. Whether you fall in love and choose to walk away or fall in love and choose to act on it, they are choices you make. The difference in makeup has more to do with emotional maturity......those who are emotionally mature don't ignore the chemistry or feelings, they are just more emotionally balanced/stable to be able to make the right choice. But very few people will ever admit to being emotionally immature.......they use words like chemistry, soulmate, destiny etc. etc. to explain that they have little choice or control over their actions.
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Agree with that. And agree with Freya. But I'm saying that common sense prevails until love takes hold. It is one of the strongest emotions we have. Easy to say these are the rules. Love will creep in and those rules get bent until it's all pear shape. It has started wars and it gets people murdered every day.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Don't let it take hold..the difference to falling in love as apposed to the deeper kind of love..Is what causes all the problems.... Helen Fishers Ted talk that you Meeka recommended ,gives an excellent explanation of this process,when you become obsessed by the love object ,almost to the exclusion of everyone and everything else..it's happened to me twice...it wasn't reciprocated though... I think you can have deep feelings for more thn one person in the context of a couples relationship...it's all about being open and honest though ..loving friends perhaps ? XxFreya
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RHP User
11 years ago
That is true. All I know is that it always annoys me when I see married people on here saying they are looking for boyfriends or girlfriends. It is one thing if you meet and fall in love with an attached person unexpectedly but how many people would plan it? You don't. Who would choose to be in love with someone who is attached and will always be attached. You end up loosing out on a lot of intimacy. I just don't think it is right that married people do that unless they can offer a deeper and intimate connection and inclusion in their every day life. I can't explain it. It is one of those things that bugs me. As for loving friendships. Yep.
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Hottie1
11 years ago
I play much more than hubby. He does call me his 'hot wife' and likes hearing about my stories ( in detail) and he loves watching me too, mostly at parties. I have never felt inhibited by his presence or that I can't be my noisy, exuberant self. When he is watching ;) Mary xx
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Yes, yøu are right as well in your views and comments. In love there are no rules. It's all to do with the 2 humans that are experiencing it. No one else can hope to know. They may think they do but they are not the ones caught up in the raw emotions that the 2 people are actually experiencing it. Love is just not on and off. Love can be shallow, it can be as deep as the ocean trenches. But if you are not one of the ones experiencing it, you cannot tell how deep it is. It cannot be measured like a mathematical equation. Does any one know what I am talking about? Or am I the only one to have seen deep love where someone can throw away an entire life to be with somone. Where every thing was not right except 2 people who decided they would follow pure emotion?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Funn4u' It's good to hear this cause no one wants to be a home wrecker! But how does the women who is playing in front of her hubby usually feel is she enjoying it totally or is hubby holding her back I've been with a couple recently and the hubby is a cuck and absolutely loved watching his wife with me I'm just wondering what's the woman's perspective.. - Posted from rhpmobile No, no one wants to be a home wrecker and no one likes a homewrecker. I wonder if you harbor fantasies about a woman falling completely for you to this point? It has never happened to us, particularly because I am fussy and it takes quite a man to be able to handle me, so I cannot imagine any guy who could drag me away. It took me 25 years to find one that I could match with! Even so, I only invite people I really like on a friendship and lust level into the bedroom, so it could happen in theory I guess. Maybe when I am 50 another amazing individual will come along, but let's be real. As to your other question, I felt quite shy playing in front of him until I realised that he gets off on seeing me totally happy and content (and delightfully greedy playing with 2 cocks). In any future MMF, I think I might like to start with just the new man and then bring him into the MMF. Mrs PP
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RHP User
11 years ago
Love and sex and two different things, closely related, but different! You can love someone, but have sex with others! You can have sex with others, but not love them!
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RHP User
11 years ago
You have been dating since you were 10 years old? Wow. I don't think I was even thinking of serious relationships until I was in my 30s!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' You have been dating since you were 10 years old? Wow. I don't think I was even thinking of serious relationships until I was in my 30s! LOL Meeka! Not sure how you did that interesting math? I was saying that I did not meet the man I fell in love with (Mr PP) until I was 25...his path did not cross mine until then! Still strong 10 years later. I doubt I'd find another I match so well until the next quarter century rolls around, was the point I was making. I do not fall in genuine love easy. Hope that clears that odd perception up! :P Mrs PP
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RHP User
11 years ago
Doing what I think you are thinking of doing involves having 300% trust and confidence in yourself and you partner to be able to share a sexual experience with another guy and keep it just as sexual.. Some ideas which might help is:a) as the guy you control all the guy contact so your partner doesn't talk with the guy unless its in person for public meets (make sure you public meet first always) b) if its s girl then let your partner control the conversation same if its a couple as the girls need to do the talking, if they are not talking its not going to happen bud, period! c) trust and talk about limits not sexual ones but the intimacy ones, its the moment she rests on his chest the way she used to with you that you will never forget and will twang your jealously its not the sex as you will be ready for the sex but when you see / feel her doing things which are just 'yours' you'll be hurt. And talk, talk and talk more when you are both 300% confident understand that you are half way ready :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
You said it took 25 years to find the one. I read that to mean you had been dating for 25 years. :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
Ahh.. yes, 25 years on this earth - not 25 years of dating! I promise I wasn't dating in diapers at Childcare! Though, I am sure the flirt in me was checking out the boy in the next crib ;) Mrs PP
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RHP User
11 years ago
Often it is the husband that gets off at seeing his wife with another guy, whether he is joining in or watching. So it's his fantasy, but also hers (she gets MFM), so it can all work out as everyone enjoys a fantasy. One guy (the husband) said it was like watching porn, but it's real! But for the reasons the OP and others raised, I would be cautious about playing seperately one-on-one with the Mrs, even if it was offered (and it has been), though I do miss the undivided mutual attention one-on-one brings. I also find out in advance where any lines are drawn, such as kissing. If the man is present, I have asked HIM if I may kiss his partner, as well as asking her :) I can't comment on whether it is empowering (or perhaps confidence building) for the woman in such situation, but I wouldn't do anything if I didn't think it was ONLY a positive addition to their private relationship.
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RHP User
11 years ago
To truly love a person is more than bumping bodies, it's on more than one level...it's your experiences together, it's your mind set, your shared thoughts, your common ground, it's understanding, knowing their soul, true compassion, ... Sex is just physical plain n simple..... Yeh it can mess with your mind if you allow it too..... It's a choice you make....
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RHP User
11 years ago
As couple that enjoy this dynamic its very much a personal thing as too what it does for each person.Me as the male love the act of watching my wife enjoy herself. She on the other hand enjoys me watching knowing there are no limits and as long as she is comfortable that is fine with me. I am not a jealous type when it comes to that. If she wants anal say from the guy - who am i to deny her that pleasure? I don't own her body or the rights to certain parts. Again this is a discussion that needs to be had THOROUGHLY before you even go down this path. Still there are things that are going to pop up (yep - pun) that you need to know how to deal with - the "i hadnt thought about doing that" things. Again If Mrs PJ is comfortable - so am i. we have our signals, our touch points and so on that are subtle and as others said probably the guys and girls dont pick up on. This whole thing we are doing is all about experiencing things that we either a) can't do by ourselves b) havent yet gained the skill in c) testing our own boundaries - together.As for falling for the guy or girl? well again its a relationship that is strong enough to withstand it. there has to be lust and attraction. We are not in this to be just fucked or to just fuck. We are trying to make a genuine connection. sometimes you do - sometimes you dont. As someone else said its a choice to love. but its also a choice to walk away. If after a meet or two we are comfortable with a playpal we have no issue in playing apart. there are rules which i wont go into but certainly we stick by them 100%. nothing better being stuck at home with the kidlets knowing what the other is out doing or who :P. Sometimes we just cant afford the time for both of us to be available to play together. Fun fact. trust and respect.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Quoting 'thepeach' What do you mean? Are you saying I treat my husband like that? - Posted from rhpmobile Nah, it sounded like you were saying you were cheating on your husband form the way you worded your first comment. But you have a "don't ask, don't tell" arrangement which is a completely different thing. I think you nailed it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Annie_Whichway' Yes, yøu are right as well in your views and comments. In love there are no rules. It's all to do with the 2 humans that are experiencing it. No one else can hope to know. They may think they do but they are not the ones caught up in the raw emotions that the 2 people are actually experiencing it. Love is just not on and off. Love can be shallow, it can be as deep as the ocean trenches. But if you are not one of the ones experiencing it, you cannot tell how deep it is. It cannot be measured like a mathematical equation. Does any one know what I am talking about? Or am I the only one to have seen deep love where someone can throw away an entire life to be with somone. Where every thing was not right except 2 people who decided they would follow pure emotion? when you see the great depths of love, that is not logical at all.things like I would die for you...and people do. wars are fought over love, and not just love of people, love of things, love of power, love of what ever. toxic love when two nut jobs get together and hurt other people. It has no logic and its an unfortunate consequence of love. I do not think people get to emotional maturity to tell the truth, I think they learn to damp down their passion and not react like out of some high school love movie.Meeak sa i do agree that married that go looking for a boyfriend situation need a good look at themselves. The other person can get left high and dry while MR or Mrs carry on happy as pigs in poo.it makes the third wheel go round and round and miss the chance to love someone that might just be for them. It keeps people trapped . A mistress is a prime example waiting for that guy to leave his wife..and waiting, and waiting and waiting till her womb dries up and falls out while she bends over to get that last punnet of ice cream that she likes to eat as she sits at home alone waiting for the phone to ring and watching soap opera.
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RHP User
11 years ago
It is selfish of married people to continue seeing someone if they think the person has started to have feelings for them. I just don't think it is right that married people do that unless they can offer a deeper and intimate connection and inclusion in their every day life. I don't 100% agree with these statements because it depends on the personality and choices of the people involved. For instance, in my situation I can offer "a deeper and intimate connection" with my boyfriend but he does not want to be included in our "every day life". He has his own busy life to lead without it becoming more complicated. That is his choice and it suits both of us. Amy
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RHP User
11 years ago
Bad move, especially if the woman is a sensitive one, not that I blame her but the marriage had been rocky before I met them(couple) had I known I would have stayed out, so to that front OP, RUN if you ever sense that she's falling for you.
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gazpacho
11 years ago
Happened to one of my mates. 15 years in, his wife went on a cruise with some of the girlfriends, met a single guy and upgraded to business class. Really, there's nothing new in that type of story. The rate of divorce is higher than its ever been, so I don't see how the swinging community would be the exception. Hugs Gazpacho
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