M55

Women seeking dominant me

August 08 2025

women that fantasize about being dominated

Good evening, I have noticed a large increase in women seeking doms, now this is a phenomenon that has occurred in recent years but do women really know what dominance is? There seems to be a misconception that for a man to be dominant he has to tie down and own a woman, that is complete rubbish, dominance is about showing you know how to please a woman not degrading or making them your toy to be used, real dominance is protecting a woman from what mainstream has glorified as dominance, in the world of domination women have all the power ( if you find a real dom) it’s not about being with a man who thinks women want to be owned or made to submit, a real dom is a man or woman who know that taking someone on a journey that allows them to fully submit is far more important than being tied down and used, the sites like fetlife ( a BDSM site) is full of broken women and men who just want power, men who just want to hurt or break without even knowing what dominance is, I read what women want and know that 90 percent of men are in it for what they want, and a lot of men think that control and pain is dominance, they couldn’t be further from the truth, dominance is about being in a state of total presence, reading a woman’s body and reacting appropriately, it’s not about going through a checklist it’s about knowing, knowing and understanding how women work, yes some women love pain but dominance isn’t about pain or power it’s about pleasure and being able to let go with someone you can fully trust to take you on a journey that allows you to submit in a safe zone and feel things you couldn’t imagine were possible. So all you big strong “ doms” who think owning a woman is the goal, we all know you are small and have no idea how to do what is going to make it the most beautiful journey a person can ever go on, so next you consider giving yourself to a “ dom” please ask as many questions you can, be real with yourself and remember domination isn’t about control it’s about surre

Comments

NeoAndTrin

10 months ago

A few paragraph breaks would've helped here.

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OpalRose

10 months ago

Can you please start using full stops. It’s difficult for me to read all that in just one breath

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Mrs_Deep_Love

10 months ago

Dude that post was way too long to hold my attention. Dominance starts in the mind. Those big strong Doms won't read your post. Don't worry about what everyone else is seeking and just find the people that are seeking you

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Nightglider

10 months ago

I appreciate where you’re coming from and have first hand experience in the Dom/Sub space myself. That said, I think your message might get lost in how it’s currently presented, as a few others have also mentioned.

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CandiKane

10 months ago

I have long shared your concern and I wish I heard a lot more people delivering the same message.

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hornybrowndude

10 months ago

Duuuuuudddddeeee!!!!! Way too long. Short na precise might entice more response.

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MrandMrsEss

10 months ago

Although tempted to just shelve this post as yet another self promotion and agreeing with the comments on lack of formatting I still read it and do have to agree with the OP. I share a similar driving force to what he describes here and feel that the whole dom-sub idea has been tarnished by both the blandness of 50 shades and the thinly veiled excuse for abuse that often comes at the kink end of things. We have found very few people want to delve deeper than just swapping bodies for little more than to tick it off a list or to keep score with their swinging peers.

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RHP User

10 months ago

I’d offer the following angle; Submission is about a desire to cede control and thought. Thus the work of a dominant is to convince the prey that they can safely hand over control for the benefit of both? That’s more my experience. I go in for my own pleasure first as a main priority. The point of that being I tend to meet people who find pleasure in that. d/s dynamics are rarely clear cut and homogenous. They vary depending on the psychological make up of both parties. Some ppl want full-on sexual and physical aggression, others want to be ticked with a feather and have jam licked off them. And there’s everything in between. But I definitely agree that it only works, whatever point of the spectrum we sit, when a clear understanding has been reached and agreed upon.

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Brian_Breynolds

10 months ago

Very strong comma game, paragraph game needs some work. Nevertheless, a good message in the post. If you could present it in a way that’s easier to read and more open for discussion, I think people would have more to say.

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nightingale8

10 months ago

Reading validations then comparing this to the guy, sometimes I wonder if other people have a much different idea of what dominance is. Could also be I just had a very different connection with the individual than someone else. Dominance understood as: passionate, rough, hot, ‘spicy’ (lol), good, or masculine, for example. I also don’t think these ideas of dominance are the same as that expected of dominant women, which I think aligns more with what I think when I think of ‘dominance’. Dominant women aren’t usually perceived as coming with an element of physical violence. Or if there is violence, it’s very controlled, measured, restrained and purposeful. So many ‘dominant’ men aren’t predictable and restrained with their violence. When men are predictable and restrained they are safe enough to surrender to.

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Blueflamingo

10 months ago

I can't really agree with what you say as I see Dominance is so many different things for different people and dynamics. How YOU do Dom is not the 'right way'. I feel you ick someone's yum, which is not very much in the spirit of bdsm and the open minded RHP community. As long as Dom is ALWAYS done with concent, I dont see that there's a right and wrong way to D/s. There's a lot more to unpack in your post, but let's start here. X

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RHP User

10 months ago

😐I actually read this whole post with some interest I went on a date with someone who said ‘ I’m a bit of a dom’…. Curiosity got the best of me… wondering What does that mean? During foreplay he said ‘ Suck my cock bitch’ .. I laughed as it sounded hilarious to me. I asked ‘is that what a dom does, throws out demands? Fuck no!, can you just be normal …. I threw him off his game and he asked me to leave. Again I thought it was hilarious and I laughed…. Oh he is serious🤷🏽‍♀️ And YES I am safe and can handle myself. If this is what a Dom offers, I don’t want it🤦‍♀️🫤 You’ve just answered alot of questions I had running through my mind. Loved the read😍

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RHP User

10 months ago

Big distinction between dominant men and a dom. Dominance is quite natural for so many men but the dom thing is not just the pure dominance thing. For any women reading this post be very careful with that dom thing as there are doms and just assholes. Met many women who have been made to do some damn awful things because of those dom types who think it is about being the owner of the woman. You want to try that safely and see if it fits go to a professional not someone here claiming they are a dom

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RavenKitty

10 months ago

💯 agree with this post, needs to be spoken more publicly to help other women to filter out between good and fake Dom's.

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Notice_Me

10 months ago

Dom unto others as you would have Domme unto you :)

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MsSuperFoxy

10 months ago

I understand what youre saying OP. Dominance to me means: All parties feel safe, all parties are sane and are emotionally stable, all parties respects consent and fully understands it and all parties are informed/educated. Anything less than the above, I'm not interested- it's bare minamal. Ms Foxy

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Thesunlovingsub

9 months ago

For someone who is telling other men to “ask a lot of questions” I find it astounding that you are here talking about “do women really know what dominance is”….and then just telling us what YOU think it is. We do not all want or need the same things. Neither do men. You are oversimplifying and mansplaining an incredibly nuanced and personal topic, based on the fact that you read What Women Want? You’ve made so many sweeping generalisations here that doesn’t seem to have any purpose other than positioning yourself as superior to other men and women in this topic. Maybe you could try being curious about women’s experience rather than tell us what we need? For what it’s worth - I definitely not need to be protected, and I love being a fucktoy 💁🏼‍♀️

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CandiKane

9 months ago

As many have pointed out, d/s relationships and scenarios can vary and differ in so many ways. The issue I have and believe the OP is pointing out is in regards to young people throwing themselves at relative strangers asking to be dominated, tied up and diciplined. I have been asked to engage in scenes that can be quite dangerous without them knowing anything about me. I was just out in a normal venue but wearing leather pants and a rubber shirt. In terms of voicing what they were looking for all I really garnered is they wanted to be photographed bound with obvious brusing/welts. Any bloke that has seen 50 shades and be up for giving it a go will think all his christmases have come at once. Them approaching a novice but obliging nice guy is scary, approaching a not so nice guy I can't bear to think about. I am aware of several instances of nerve damage being sustained as a result of rope restraint and suspension, every one at the hands of extremely experienced practitioners. That alone should never be attempted without knowing the dangers and associated do's and dont's.

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