Would you date someone who is still “trying to find themselves” financially?

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  MrandMrsEss

  8 days ago

  My first wife came from unbelievable wealth, that’s not what made me fall from her but on reflection it did add to the imbalances we had in life together. My forever wife came from a past of great struggle. She often feels inadequate as I now dominate the finances but I feel we are a much better team and have grown together and both play equally as important parts (ok she knocks her roles out of the park, I just bring home the bacon). I think finances can always be a huge area of conflict in any partnership, but if each is truly selfless and has the best interest of the family at heart you find a way!

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  VibingBunny

  8 days ago

  Money comes and goes - especially in this economy. But being able to find your forever person, that is extremely rare. Me - I wouldn’t let financial stability dictate my love life, but I am blessed to have a huge support system that I can lean on if needed. Maybe if I didn’t have that support, I would feel different.

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  MsSuperFoxy

  8 days ago

  I look after myself first and have structured things based on advice from my estate lawyer, financial advisor and accountant. So for me, "dating" someone isn’t the same as taking on their financial responsibility or becoming their debt solution. They’re two very different things. I'm not a bank, but I'll happily take deposits, from those I trust. 😉 Ms Foxy PS As an investor I never talk about my wealth when 1st meeting people. They just don't need to know.

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  YourKindofFun

  7 days ago

  100% I would especially if you can see the potential/want in them to improve their life. That is exactly how things panned out for my wife and I. I did a lot of the heavy lifting at the start of our relationship and now she does most of the heavy lifting but the best thing about it is we did it together. We have always been happy because it’s been about being best friends and lovers, the money is the easy bit if that is what you want.

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  funtimes01

  7 days ago

  Everyone is entitled to their own desires, values, and needs. Who are we to judge what matters most to someone else? I’ve experienced both financial hardship and financial success, and one thing I’ve learned is that a person’s worth isn’t measured by the size of their bank account. Character, kindness, and the way they treat others will always carry far more weight with me.

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  dannid_xx

  7 days ago

  It sounds like you value someone with financial literacy and stability. Is being on equal financial footing now more important than having/building good financial habits with the money they have currently? If there is an imbalance, consider how much and how long you’re willing to financially contribute to the relationship. Also, consider their potential timeline for financial recovery/stability. Finances are just 1 area of a rich life. I carried a mortgage, 2 rentals and bills for all 3 for nearly a year. It was beyond a struggle but it was necessary, had an end date and I am resourceful AF. I also was happy and solid in most other areas of my life. It certainly knocked my confidence and made me feel less than, buuuuut that was mine to deal with. I respected that some gents wouldn’t want to date me because of my finances. But in the same way, if that was a dealbreaker for them, they weren’t the gent for me either. I went on a few dates but it was important to me to be very upfront about my situation, every gent was wonderful about it. Some said they would pay the first date on principle while others suggested low cost/free dates.

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  CaptivatingMe

  6 days ago

  Great topic OP. Loved reading the comments so far, seeing the different responses. Seeing a close friend and her struggles it was a reminder of how her relationship went from having stability to financial struggles. When they both agreed on her being the primary carer and being the stay at home mum, she still contributed 50/50 financial. She said its always been that way. When the relationship ended she felt stuck, she still needed him around. Not only to help take care of their children and to ease the burden of sharing bills. Lucky for her they get along, when he ain't being petty 😆 and they both see the importance of doing it for their children. She's thinking of getting out there and start dating, but she is so reluctant because of her situation.

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  BarberBoss1981

  6 days ago

  Ive dated partners who were much less financially stable than I was and I've dated partners who were much more financially stable than I was. Financial stability looks very different to a lot of people. For me I dont expect them to be set for life, but if they are bringing in much same as me and wont need my money, then that works...we can build together if we are both on same page

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  EarthQueen

  6 days ago

  No, because at my age I think it's important to be on a similar financial page as a person you are in a serious relationship with. If they didn't have it together in terms of managing money it would be a turn off. I don't expect them to be rich but just be able to pay for necessities in life and live within their means without excessive, unnecessary debt . I've already dealt with ex partners who are unreliable or immature with finances and I wouldn't go back there. It's too stressful and it made us incompatible.

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  Ex007

  6 days ago

  Everyone’s life circumstances have led them down different paths. Some people have built wealth and then lost it all through separation, while others have struggled financially. In a partnership that is working well financially, you can see that both people are on the same page when it comes to finances. If you have two people contributing equally in terms of time, energy, and commitment to building wealth, you’ll be unstoppable as a couple. Communication is key. Here is an example of what that may look like if both people work similar hours and contribute equally to household chores. Household Income Your income: $100,000 Partner’s income: $200,000 Total household income: $300,000 Income Share You: $100,000 ÷ $300,000 × 100 = 33.3% Partner: $200,000 ÷ $300,000 × 100 = 66.7% Contributions (based on each person’s income share) You – 33.3% of your income Annual contribution: $33,300 Monthly contribution: approximately $2,775 Partner – 66.7% of their income Annual contribution: $133,400 Monthly contribution: approximately $11,117 Combined Total Going Into the Joint Account Annual total: $33,300 + $133,400 = $166,700 Monthly total: approximately $13,892 Summary You contribute $33,300 per year ($2,775 per month). Your partner contributes $133,400 per year ($11,117 per month). Combined total: $166,700 per year (approximately $13,892 per month). If a couple agrees that one person will work while the other stays home, then of course they will be living on one income. In that situation, there would generally be an expectation that the person who is not in paid employment would perform most, if not all, of the household chores. This helps ensure that each person’s overall contribution to the household is relatively similar in terms of the time and effort they expend.

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  Mrs_Deep_Love

  5 days ago

  At 25 yes. At 50 no

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  Rubyt25

  5 days ago

  Having experienced financial abuse I would not share my financial info, that would remain my business (visa versa for a potential partner) and as I value my independence highly I don't want to live with another potential partner, been there done that. A relationship and living together are two different things and for me a potential partner would need to have the same values as myself in regards to being independent along with a healthy personal autonomy. Something I value highly is someone who lives alone has healthy boundaries in regards to family/relatives and is happy to go off and do their own thing.

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