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Your Shameful, Embarrassing Story

November 25 2009

I was chatting to a mate about our most embarrassing moments, after hearing about the story of the lady who was late for her Gyno appointment, and gave herself a quick wipe with the ace washer at the sink. Turns out her daughter had used the face washer t clean up her “Glitter”; hence the Doctor thought that “Glitter Puss” as we dubbed her, had gone to an awful lot of trouble for her appointment! Now, I don't know if this has been covered here and I know it could be a sticky point with some, however, as I have no shame, I will put my story out there. Please note, this is not about my severely sunburnt gonads. That was another time, and probably not quite as embarrassing. Ok, a few years ago, while waiting for Mrs Rough to get her Brazilian done, I was talked into getting the whole crack back and sack job (Method of retribution or sympathy I will never know Anyway, at the time I was working a contract in Adelaide, and commuting every week. So on the flight back home one Friday afternoon, (after copious amounts of liquid courage) I decided to go through with it and surprise Mrs Rough. My whole thoughts at his time were,”Jeez wouldn’t it be embarrassing if I got wood!”(She was a pretty hot cougar I have to admit) So here I am in this very nice salon, and the owner (Very professional) slings me this paper g banger, and walks out the room, telling me to strip off, and put on this flimsy bit of paper thread. So with much Dutch bravado, I whip off my clothes, and go to put on the paper g banger. Looking down I notice “Mini Roughfukr” looks a little more like a Baked Bean with a Rastafarian afro, than my usual half cocked self! Now, I have to explain, this is the first time another woman has seen me naked in about 10 years, and she is not a bad sort, and there is “No way in hell” she is going to see me his fucking small, yes girls I know, shallow, but what do you do! I tell you what you do “You do what any normal bloke would do in this situation”! Taking the initiative, I have a quick bat trying to get some blood-flow happening, working up a pretty good rhythm in my semi inebriated state, and I am making great progress when- The door opens! Queue look of horror on the cougars face, followed by a smirk, as “Little Rough” makes good his impression of a Baked Bean again. Never. Been. Back.

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RHP User

16 years ago

Thankyou for the tea out of the nostrils and all over my screen...lol! My embarrasing story in short was I slipped getting out of the bath and ended up having to go to the hospital to get my lip stitched....no big deal you say...well it wasn't my mouth that was being sewn up

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RHP User

16 years ago

to both ElleDee and MrRough... I was 15... I had massive chest pains over a few hours, numbness in my left arm/shoulder... was rushed to hospital. Got there was told to get into a hospital gown, no undies. Chest probs on my very boyish chest, heart monitors.. the works. Anyway the doctor comes in... a VERY cute 20 something FEMALE doctor... was busy chatting to my parents and I about things and I was thinking naughty thoughts bout her... anyway she said "I'll just check his pulse..." and I pulled my top down... "No she said.. my "xxxxxxx" (can't think of the word) pulse... she stuck her hand down my groin to feel my pulse in my top of leg... brusing my very hard cock.... I was sooo embarrased... she looked at me... smiled nicely and winked. She turned to my parents am summed up "He's quite a normal teenage boy"... no one evern knew but her and I... I'm sure she had that type of thing all the time, but I was sooo bright red and flustered when she did it.. Anyway - enough from me...

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RHP User

16 years ago

ohhhh both those stories... crack up! Thanks for the larf. Keep them coming. T.

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RHP User

16 years ago

I have entertained many mates with this story a good laugh at my own expense.I had just turned 18 and was enjoying a daily ritual of surfing. This one particular day I walked past an amazing girl sunbaking. I made a passing comment on how good she looked and she smiled and returned the compliment. Being cheeky and very cocky I said "I will see you in 10 minutes". Long story cut short we arranged to meet later for a drink and to hit the local clubs. She was from Sydney and a few years older than me. Now lets cut to the good bit :)I end up back at her apartment and we start getting down and dirty in the lounge room. In no time we are both naked and she leads me into her bedroom. After some fantastic foreplay performed by her wonder mouth she says "Do you have protection?" I said "In my jeans give me a sec" I go back out into the unfamiliar lounge room, stumble around in the dark and eventually find my trusty TWO PACK Niteclub vending machine supplied rubbers.I feel my way back to the bedroom and low and behold her roomie is down between her legs showing me her great arse and pussy. "How good is this I think to myself". I fumble at the packet and unwrap the first condom. Hear is the funny bit. I was 18 and had been having sex since 16 but had never worn a condom or had even tried to use one. So I'm trying to work the bloody thing out while the girls are going off on each other. Great pressure was now being placed upon me as the girls wanted some man action. Would my Johnson play the game Hell no, he retreated into the safe comfort of my loins.I'm working hard to get him hard (yes I know guys laugh away). But it just wasn't happening. The girls are giving me the hurry up and I finaly start to get a rise, as I rolll the condom on the bloody thing breaks. Shit!!!One of the girls turns and say's "You have another one don't you?". I said "yeah I have another it's all good" Well hurry up she says. God here I am with two hotties and I can't get wood.I am watching the most amazing show and I start to get more solid, solid enough that I start to roll on the 2nd condom, as I do I start to go soft. I starting working him up, and try again, all this while watching these girls have orgasm after orgasm without me. I am at the point where it's all or nothing and wank furiously to get the blood pumping. I have the condom half rolled and then it starts. Yep that feeling us guys no too well. THERE IS NO HOLDING BACK!!! Shit I'm coming!!! I end up blowing my load in the condom while wanking just to get hard. I'm now standing there with a half boner with a half rolled on condom full of jizz. The girl I started out with turns around and says "Did you just blow in condom?" I said "Yes" Her reply??? "Your pathetic" I said "Yep" there was nothing else I could say. lolI didn't even say goodbye I just left the room and gathered my things. By now the sun had risen and I did the daylight walk along the beach. My surfing mates were at our usuall spot and they grinned and jibed my arrival. I told them the other story of how I just banged to girls and fucked all night. It wasn't until many years later I told them the truth.I wasn't the first in our small group to have a threesome but I reckon I have had the most since then without any performance problems. Ok maybe once but I was drunk and the goats were hard to catch

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RHP User

16 years ago

lmfao you guys are hilarious. Funniest Sex bloopers wooo hooo... hehe. I went to the sex clinic and I'm all stripped off.. we've done all the swabs and blood samples... and the nurse said: "I'll just check under your foreskin"... and Im thinking wait a minute.. I dont have a foreskin... and then I look down and I'm thinking.. where the fuk has my dick gone? hehe... yep.. with all that talk fo STD's, he's out of there... gawd... lol. I never gave the old touch up a thought until it was too late.. hehe. probably just as well goign by Mr rough's experience..... lol. Then there's my vasectomy story... hehe. Hugs Gz

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