F57
anyone got a funny/sexy/kinky status or joke to share????
July 28 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
ahaha not bad ding! I will totes nab that one :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job! FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
Funny shit, we have similar problem with our youngest, she was born, opened her eyes and started flirting, she loves being tickled and yep, smacked too! We are going to have some very open conversations over the next few years
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On_Safari
12 years ago
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken! Q: When does a cub become a boy scout?A: When he eats his first Brownie. Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit?A: The best ones squirt when you eat them.Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?A: It'll take a while before I get hard again, I just got laid by a chick.Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?A: Full. Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. Q: What kind of bees produce milk?A: BoobiesQ: What did the penis say to the condom?A: Cover me im going in!Q: What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?A: If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!Q: What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato?A: Dicktator Q: What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy?A: Bubblegum and you should be ashamed of yourself.
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RHP User
12 years ago
My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman movie. Our dates so far can be summarised as follows: diner, diner, diner, diner, diner, diner,diner, diner, diner, Batman. Well I thought it was funny.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'I_N_D_A_G_I_N_E' Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit?A: The best ones squirt when you eat them.I laughed at that one......I thought it was funny!FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
The Muppet song “mahna mahna” was actually came from a Swedish softcore porn film.FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A: A genealogist looks up your family tree, a gynecologist looks up your bush.
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RHP User
12 years ago
hahaha great work guys!!!! Indagine, you had me smiling at those!!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
A little boy was in his room playing with himself, when his father walked in. "Son! If you masturbate too much, you're gonna go blind!" Dad," the boy said, "I'm over here."
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RHP User
12 years ago
Two autopsy surgeons were having dinner talking about their most bizarre cases, when one said"I just recently had an 84 year old lady with breasts like a 25 year old. They were soft, the skin was smooth and very perky." The other pitched in with "I had a 72 year lady with a clitoris like a gherkin!!" "Whoa, that big??" Asked the first. "Unfortunately, that sour" was the reply. - Posted from rhpmobile
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On_Safari
12 years ago
Quoting 'SUPERFOXXY' Quoting 'I_N_D_A_G_I_N_E' Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit?A: The best ones squirt when you eat them. I laughed at that one......I thought it was funny!FOXY Lol we'll get along famously!! x and thank you Ding, I live for everyone else's happiness
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RHP User
12 years ago
Q:Why do hippos have sex in the water? A:Ever tried to keep a 20 pound vagina wet?
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wingman2014
12 years ago
What do women and eating noodles have in common?..........they both wiggle when you eat them. •••• Don was lying on top of Sally in the barn. When Sally's father stormed in , picked up a cricket bat and wacked him across the arse. The disgusted father said to her "I didn't think you had it in you!" Sally replied "I didn't until you hit him on the arse ."- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'lotsafun74' Q:Why do hippos have sex in the water? A:Ever tried to keep a 20 pound vagina wet? Actually laughed out loud at that!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hear about the paraplegic prostitute ? She was dependant on her crutch for support ? Hear about the irish plastic surgeon He hung himself ! What did one tampon say to the other ? Nothing - they were both stuck up! Two lesbians walk into a fruit shop displaying a sign saying bananas Three for $2 one says, two bananas please Cashier says lady cant you read they are 3 for $2 She turns to her partner and says "well I suppose we could eat the other onë " Hear about the new female Viagra ? its called Niagra ! Ok Wont give up my day job any time soon ............
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RHP User
12 years ago
Whats pink and wriggly and hangs out your undies ? Your Grandmother !
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RHP User
12 years ago
Colleen takes off all her clothes and lays fully spread eagled on the bed.. Hey Paddy, you be knowing what I want then... Yes' says Paddy ' the whole fookin bed by the looks...
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Soulmates
12 years ago
The leper told the prostitute she could keep the tip.
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madotara69
12 years ago
Quoting 'lotsafun74' Q:Why do hippos have sex in the water? A:Ever tried to keep a 20 pound vagina wet? when you find a lesbian hippo? You get a lickalotapussMado
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RHP User
12 years ago
A man wakes up in bed to a terrible burning smell. Hungover and bleary eyed he wanders out to the kitchen to find his wife with one of his socks in the frying LAN stirring madly. The stench is abominable. He asks, "What the hell are you doing?" And she replies,"just doing what you asked me last night when you got home smashed from the pub at 3am and woke me up!"He exclaims, "what did I ask you to do?" "cook my sock!"
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RHP User
12 years ago
to Antarctica Foxy found two leprachauns arguing on the beach,''You did'' ...''I did not''...,''You did so!!''......''I DID NOT!!!''.. the voices were getting louder and louder. Then they both saw Foxy...'''Foxy.,Foxy,can ya settle an argument for us please ?'' ''Of course ,'' said Foxy,''What are you two arguing about?'' ''Is there such a thing as a leprechaun nun?''...''A leprechaun nun,no I don't think so,'' said the puzzled Foxy...''Ya see I told ya so,YA DID FUCK A PENGUIN''.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Freya77' to Antarctica Foxy found two leprachauns arguing on the beach,''You did'' ...''I did not''...,''You did so!!''......''I DID NOT!!!''.. the voices were getting louder and louder. Then they both saw Foxy...'''Foxy.,Foxy,can ya settle an argument for us please ?'' ''Of course ,'' said Foxy,''What are you two arguing about?'' ''Is there such a thing as a leprechaun nun?''...''A leprechaun nun,no I don't think so,'' said the puzzled Foxy...''Ya see I told ya so,YA DID FUCK A PENGUIN''. PURE F*CKING GOLD!!!FOXY
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RHP User
12 years ago
Uncle Bob says to little sally... So hows that little kitten Sox going ?Oh' Sox.. he's gone to heaven.. Sally sadly says.Oh' really' thats a shame, what happened..Well ' next doors big Rottweiller jumped the fence ' and that was it...But it wasnt that Sox didnt try cause he kept on going Fffffff Fffffff Fffffffbut before he could get Fffuck Off out.. the dog ate him...
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RHP User
12 years ago
He finds a note on his wife's pillow that says "Honey, just popping down to the shops to get everything for an amazing breakfast in bed for you. then I want to have wild monkey sex with you for the rest of the day. I love you soooo much" He staggers downstairs, not believing his luck and unable to even remember getting home. He asks his son if he knows why the wife is being so nice and the sons reply.... Well dad, you got home pretty trashed, staggered upstairs and Mum tried to help you into your pyjamas and put you to bed and you said really loudly... "Fuck off wench, I'm a married man" - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
.... and asks for a double entendre. So the barman gave her one.
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RHP User
12 years ago
They got him by the organ!
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RHP User
12 years ago
When I was younger, I decided to go to medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to rearrange the following letters: P N E I S and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect. Two of the class submitted the correct answer: SPINE and eventually became successful doctors, the rest of us became members of RHP and inhabit the forums ....
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RHP User
12 years ago
What did the carrot say to the vibrator? "Why are you shaking? It’s me she’s going to eat!" FOXY
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