M44 F44
are u god dam serious??????
September 24 2009
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
Hehehe. They're rippers! Thanks for the laughs! Hugs Gazza
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tamworthguy46
16 years ago
Why are Girls better than boys ? You can turn the girl over and pretend she is a boy !.......Tacky I know......!
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RHP User
16 years ago
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RHP User
16 years ago
just put a smile on my face for today.....thnx
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RHP User
16 years ago
hehehe one of my fav Bush jokes. Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president Bush his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.""OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.Finally, the President Bush looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
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RHP User
16 years ago
Tam had set a double date for himself and his friend Gaz. Tam said, "Gaz, I'll give you first choice. Let me tell you what they're like." "Okay," said his buddy. "Sophie’s short on looks, but she gives an incredible blowjob. Suzie is pretty and has a perfect pair of legs, which she shows off by wearing shoes with very high heels." "Say no more," interrupted Gaz. "I'll go for head over heels anytime."
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tamworthguy46
16 years ago
Missy ....is a brazillian mor than a Gazillion ? Sophie.lol.....I tried the heels on .they were comfy, but they didn't go with my head !
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RHP User
16 years ago
Johnny arrives home after school early one day. Walking into the lounge, he hears some unusual noises coming from his parents bedroom. Curious, he investigates stealthily. Peering through the crack in the door, he sees his old man on top of his mother. Both are grunting and groaning. Walking into the room, Johnny asks "What is going on?" His old man grins, throws a pillow at Johnny, and says "Bugger off Johnny, go on, piss off!" The next day, the old man gets home from work later than usual. Inside, he hears some strange noises coming from the upstairs bedroom. Walking up to find out what it is, he walks in the bedroom to see Johnny, balls deep in his Grandma. "JOHNNY! WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK YOUR DOING?!" yells his old man. Johnny looks up at him and says "Not so funny when its YOUR mum, is it?"
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RHP User
16 years ago
Penis breath, a lover's dread Is what you get when you give head Unpleasant as it tends to be Be grateful that he doesn't pee It's times like this, you wonder why you bothered reaching for his fly But it's too late, can't be a tease Accept the facts, get on your knees You know you've got a job to do So open wide and shove it through Lick the tip then take it all Don't drag your teeth or he might bawl Slide up and down, use your tongue And feel the precum start to run So when the fuck's he gonna cum Just, when you can't take anymore You hear your lover's mighty roar And when he hits that real high note You feel it oozing down your throat Salty, fishy, sticky, yuck!y stuff Okay, already that's enough Let's switch you say, before you gag And what's your revenge, your on the rag.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Miss asks little johnny if a farmer shoots at 3 crows sitting on a fence and 1 gets killed, how many are left? Little johnny thinks for a minute and says none miss, the other 2 would fly away when the gun went off. Miss replies, no it's 2 little johnny but I like your thinking. Little johnny says miss, I have one for you. 3 women sitting on a park bench all eating an ice cream. The first woman bites the top off the ice cream the second woman licks the ice cream and the third woman puts her mouth over the top and goes all the way down to the bottom of the cone. Miss thinks for a minute and then says the third one is married little johnny. Little johnny replies, no miss it's the one with the wedding ring, but I like your thinking.
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tamworthguy46
16 years ago
Dave was soon to marry mabel....he was a bit anxious, not having much experience. Dad told him to get some practice on the hole in the old oak tree....so every day, dave was in the yard pumping the tree, quite happy with his progress.....he thought himself to be quite a stud ! The wedding night comes arround, dave and mabel go up stairs.....Dad soon hears mabel screaming !!!! ....and rushes up there, shocked to see dave ramming a broom handle into mabel ! WTF are you doin dave ???? Dave said ! I,m gunna make sure ther's no fukin goanna's in this one !!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been travelling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel. He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and go on it again.Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came to a road. There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful blondes sitting in it. He went up to them and asked the women if they needed any help. The hottest girl said ,"If you fix our car we will do anything you want."The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a flash.When he finished are three girls asked, "How could we ever repay you Mr." After thinking for a short while he replied,"Could you hold my camel?" Trev
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tamworthguy46
16 years ago
Giddy up !!!! Woo back !!!!.....Giddy up !!.....Woo back !!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Why does helen keller masturbate with one hand... So she can moan with the other!!
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RHP User
16 years ago
Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother, 'Frankie Brown showed me his willy today in the playground!'Before the mother could raise a concern,Sally went on to say, 'It reminded me of a peanut.'Relaxing with a hidden smile,Sally's Mum asked, 'Really small, was it?'Sally replied, 'No...Salty.'Mum fainted.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Q. What do you call someone who has to have sex all the time? A...........a nymphomaniac. Q. What do you call some who has to steal things all the time? A............a kleptomaniac. Q. What do you call someone who has to have sex all the time AND steal all the time? A............a fucking thief.......
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RHP User
16 years ago
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'. The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?''I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?''I cannot say.''Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?''I'll never tell...''Was it Nina Capelli?''I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.''Was it Cathy Piriano?''My lips are sealed.''Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?''Please, Father, I cannot tell you.' The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.' Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four months vacation and five good leads.'
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RHP User
16 years ago
An old guy approaches the window of the movie theatre with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. He replies, "Well, my pet chicken, of course!" "I'm sorry," The girl tells him. "We can't allow animals in the theater." The guy goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his pants. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in. Inside the theater, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his pants so the chicken can stick it's head out and watch the movie. Seated next to him is a woman. She looks over at his lap and is horrified. She elbows her friend Myrtle and whispers, "Myrtle, this man over here has just unzipped his pants!" Myrtle whispers back, "Oh, don't worry about it...you've seen one, you've seen them all." Agnes says, "I know...but this one's eating my popcorn!"
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RHP User
16 years ago
Rotflmao comeandgetme I haven't heard that one before. I love it! Hehe Gazza
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RHP User
16 years ago
This made me piss myself.. Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: A fsh.
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RHP User
16 years ago
What do you call an annorexic girl with thrush. A quarter pounder with cheese. G BTW, you make me laugh Miss Ozrockchick, so dig you
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RHP User
16 years ago
The teacher asks the 3rd grade class what they'll be bringing in for show and tell on Monday...Suzie says "I'm going to bring a coin from Germany!" "That sounds interesting", replies the teacher...George says "My dad is a pilot, and I'm going to bring in his hat!"... To which the teacher says "Well, that's sounds very exciting!"Then Tommy stands up and says "So what!!?!??!, I'm going to bring in a hedgehog!" His teacher looks at him funny and says, "Now Tommy, I've spoken to you about telling fibs, you cannot bring in a hedgehog...""Can too!" Says Tommy."Now Tommy", the teacher explains, "You cannot bring in a hedgehog, because you don't have a hedgehog. You can't get a hedgehog, in fact, they don't even live in this country!""Yeah I can, I can get a hedgehog!.. I just have to do the dishes" Tommy shouts back at the Teacher. By now, the teacher is puzzled and asks "Why do you have to do the dishes, and how will that get you a hedgehog?!""Last night, mummy said to daddy that is he does the dishes, he can have a Hedgehog! So all I have to do is do the dishes!!"
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RHP User
16 years ago
What part of "Thou Shalt Not..." didn't you understand?God Don't make me come down there! GodThat "Love Thy Neighbour" thing...I meant that!God
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RHP User
16 years ago
Q - What does Dracula use as a teabagA - A used tampon...
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RHP User
16 years ago
A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a building needs a handsaw so he sees another man on the 1st floor. He yells down to him, but he can't hear, so he does sign language. He points at his eye meaning "I", points at his knee meaning "need", and moves his hand back and forth in a handsaw motion. The man on the 1st floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, and starts masturbating. The man on the 3rd floor gets so angry he runs down to the 1st floor and says, "What the hell is wrong with you dumbass? I said I need handsaw!!" The other guy says, "I knew that, I was just trying to tell you I'm coming." CheersJose
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