attached or unattached

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  RHP User

  18 years ago

  Hi gazpacho40 Thanks for you input :-) any one else out there?? surely you must have some thoughts on the issue. This is a Forum you know !

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  RHP User

  18 years ago

  Libertine. Good post. As a guy in a couples relationship we dont play seperatly. There are 2 aspects that worry me. Jelousy if one went and had sex with another/s. Venus and I both struggle with this even in the same room having sex with others. I guess some can seperate it but to us sex is so deep and connected and giving it hard to believe it can be 'just sex'. Maybe a passive blow job would jolt me outa this insanity? I am also wary of casual sex with singles/unattached or open relationships. So is Venus. If one of us did per chance play with another 'single male or female' then we both would agree its ok and the other would be there watching. and the sex gods permitting lol, join in. The reason is obvious. STDS. Sex with safe couples and maybe attached who dont fuck around but with partners consent would be possible. Comming from a 20 year marriage ar 5 yrs ago I sure thought about it as good sex with my X was non existant. Yes we had sex but on appointment twice a week and timed ffs. So I pulled it and eventually met my Venus. Venus came from a long term relationship where the guy wasnt interested in sex..go figure...he could have had the holy grail ffm the idiot. Anyway couples with both there is the go I believe, and maybe if its an attached we would want to talk with the attached single partner first to make sure its ok and legit if that happened. The hard part is finding the right people to play with that we both like and vice versa. We have had offers and even played a couple of times but are yet to the right bi couple to really get it on. One 4some with all in. The big worry is STDS of course ie gettin em. A question for you Libertine is'when you or your partner fuck around seperalty do you consider the STD question?' No so much AIDS or even Hep as one would have to be a complete moron or be conned by a complete arsehole to catch either but more Herpies etc as one always asks the q do you have any STDS????....and sorry condoms wont stop getting Herpies etc. The go is to get into a group who only play within the group and all are tested and trustworthy but thats not easy hey. Until then its fantasy land or even cyber sex or the old faithfull crankin ooff. Mars Posted by: Libertine44 Date: May 25, 2008 I have a question for you ladies: In this arena of casual, no strings, mutually respectful, consentual,adult, sexual exploration and adventures, What are your thoughts and feelings on whether the people you would play with are Attached, Unattached, Single, Married (openly on here with consent and encouragement from their spouse) when they are not on as part of a couple ? I would also be interested in the guys take on this too. In my personal position, although my wife and i have an active and healthy sex life (and we have been on here as a couple and played with others), my desires and tastes sometimes differ to hers. We are very happy to play seperately. Neither of us wishes to either have the other participate in something that they get little satisfaction from, or to deny the other the pleasure/satisfaction that they get. To us it is gratification of our sexual desires, and although these are desires with emotion and feeling (not cold detached acts), they are not precursers to relationship entanglements with others. Your thoughts and views Please. D Email:

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  RHP User

  18 years ago

  We play with couples and singles. For us we always play together as that is what suits us and we enjoy. Quite often we play with an extra guy. For us it does not matter if he is married or single, so long as he is honest enough with us to tell us his situation. Before people come down on us for doing things with married guys, they are out there playing around, that is their decision and they can justify it in whatever way suits them. In many instances they are happily married, wish to remain that way but either are not getting any sex at home and need some or they have permission to play. It is surprising how many wives do let their hubbys out to play, and yes we have checked with some! We sometimes think about what sort of guy is "best". Attached means we are not going to have hassles with him wanting to be with us all the time but at the same time getting time to meet and things can be harder when he is working around his family responsibilities also. We have found that attached guys are a bit more reliable and responsible than singles. Single guys can become a bit clingy but are usually more available. What we do is for fun, sexual gratification. It does not mean we are not in love any more, in fact playing with others seems to enhance our feelings toward each other. When we have sex with others it isn't because we love them, it is because we can have some fantastic physical fun. We seem to have two distinct sides to our sex lives. One is the physical satisfaction we get from sex - fun and gratifying and that is what we share with others as well as when we have sex just the two of us each day. The other side is love making where it is the two of us feeling close and a part of each other.

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