M36
chemistry and compliments
May 04 2017
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
Compliments and cheeky comments are good. But the compliments have to sound real. If they are over the top I will just be rolling my eyes and thinking the guy is full of shit. Just be yourself and then what you are saying will be believable. Most women have pretty good bullshit radars.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have no issue with compliments, i like them in fact as long as they are genuine. PDA i'm not overally comfortable with as i keep my "lifestyle" between my partner and i and would rather nobody that i know, know about it. What happened with your last encounter that has left you confused ??
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RHP User
9 years ago
Thank you for the answer The question refers to honest compliments
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FeistyFatty
9 years ago
Compliments are better, if as mentioned above, they're genuine. PDA..... not appreciated by this girl and i would seldom even acknowledge a playmate in public with more then a courteous smile and a "hi". And, before I get pounced upon, that's a mutual thing..... most of my playmates have been married men playing without permission and if I'm with my family.... well, I'm with my family so that speaks for itself. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Our Aussie culture is generally not a culture of compliments. Women tend not to know how to accept them gracefully - when received. Aussie men also have the tendency to give backhanded compliments as they don't want to be seen as 'soft'. So cheeky comments work well. Compliments can be great but - as Ticklish mentioned - if they are over the top we tend to doubt a guy's sincerity. I have cringed in the past when I have received effusive compliments. My 'crap' meter goes into the red zone and it's a nope from me. However, a well placed compliment works well and I get a warm and fuzzy feeling. Give a compliment or two and see how she reacts. Too many and you will probably appear needy. Good luck! KH
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AnnieWhichway
9 years ago
Q1. They can get a bit over the top of its constant. Pick your moment to roll one out. And as Ticklish said. Better be believable. Q2. Cheeky comments after initial sex works. Makes you think they enjoyed the previous encounter. Tick Q3. Generally ok but not over the top. Don't need someone to throw a bucket of water over you. Q4. Depends on the level. If someone is only a level above your attraction then ok . But if they are way off, shut the watertight doors, dive, dive, dive......and prepare for silent running
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RHP User
9 years ago
I love them, go ahead 😊
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RHP User
9 years ago
It's not about strategy. Complements should be genuine and spontaneous with nsa.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm guessing you really liked someone you'd had sex with once, but she was cold to any attempts you made to reignite that spark? When I was younger I used to find it very uncomfortable if I thought a girl had more interest in me than I had in her, and if that difference was extreme it could sometimes feel a bit creepy, but as I've gotten older I've come to realize people often just have different levels of expression with these things, and I've loosened up myself and am naturally more expressive than I was. Still, if she actually wasn't into you there's no amount of compliments or that will change that.
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RHP User
9 years ago
That are integrally you, of course they're welcome. A compliment from hubby or my boyfriend is usually a little on the crass side lol... but it's integrally 'them' who they are as people. If they changed that up I would think it's smarmy and fake. I like honest compliments and the best of recent times was a guy saying 'fucking delicious...' upon seeing me for the first time 😈 PDAs I'm more than ok with, I'm just cautious of others around me who might be uncomfortable so I do moderate my behaviour. I like a quick peck, a hand at the small of my back (that can slide further South and give me a quick grope) and a quick 'pull me in cuddle' and a kiss on my hair or forehead. I don't know how 'good I am at post coital conversation' so I'm not confident in answering this. I do love cheeky texts after a play where I'm reminded about 'what he/she enjoyed and what they'd like to do next time'. If I wasn't into another play though, I'd be honest and say so. Good luck Mary xx
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RHP User
9 years ago
You can't ask a question like that to "girls" in general. You realise that we're all different and want different things and respond differently to the same treatment, right?? We're individuals, as richly varied as you can imagine. What works for one woman will be a complete turn off for another and a million different reactions in between. Just be yourself and keep meeting people until you find one who speaks your language. Good Luck!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Thank you all for your answers and the wishes I must sound quite inconfident - No worries, I am just confused and nuts about that girl @Rick: Spot on mate, never had this before. Na she's not comfortable with my compliments and gets turned off by it Could just be an excuse, but what the hell do I know. Damn it's been a while since someone kept buzzing in my head. @ITM2: Why am I not surprised? @Greenie: Of course I can ask that in general, since I am interested in hearing the different opinions about it. But thank you for pointing out that there is no general way to a ladys heart, and silly me did look for one....
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RHP User
9 years ago
Hi Yves, Perhaps you are coming on too strong and she may feel like you are pushing her too quickly into something she isn't ready for yet. Be careful because if that is the case because she may stop seeing you - that would probably the way I would handle it. Just relax and take it easy. Sometimes when a guy is over the top and giving lots of gifts and compliments it may also come across as a bit desperate. Good luck, hope things work out for you.
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RHP User
9 years ago
You can never be too desperate 😯
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RHP User
9 years ago
As GreenieChick said everyone is different... If you are talking about someone who is attached and doesn't want to change that then perhaps you're coming on too strong and a bit too clingy? For PDA, many people on here who are couples or who meet others casually may not want this because they want their lifestyle to be discreet. If I'm traveling then generally I'm not worried about pda because I don't know anyone who lives there, but if we are hosting another couple or single at home then the bedroom windows are closed, hoping the neighbors don't hear the noise (which I'm sure they have lol. Whoops!) Cool down, take it easy. You will know from her advances when and how to proceed and if/when that happens, go with her flow, don't over cook it. If there's no further advances from her then let her go, she's not the one for you. But don't worry, the right one for you is around here somewhere and she will let you know when you are also the one for her. Until you find her, stay safe, be you, be polite and enjoy the pie.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Is that a serious statement? Of course you can come across as desperate and that is not often attractive. As Mr_Playful says, it can also be misconstrued as clingy, needed and pushy. Chasing someone too hard can put people off.
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RHP User
9 years ago
No, not, it wasn't, serious that is 😉
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RHP User
9 years ago
I also don't appreciate being chastised or dictated to in that tone, but not surprised. Lighten up sweetie 👍
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RHP User
9 years ago
One can never be too sure with you. Thought you were describing your style. Everyone is different after all. :)
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RHP User
9 years ago
Guy walked up to me today and told me I had a nice arse 😀 apologised for saying it but said he just had to tell me 😄 That was a good start to the day 👍 call me desperate or needy, I don't care, I love giving and receiving compliments. And with play partners, it intensifies everything, the verbal is so important, for me anyway. But I also don't like to waste time. Sitting around wondering like you are op, would never happen for me. If I'm into them, they know about it, trust me, they know 😉 if I'm not, they also know because I tell them. Life is too short for me now, every second counts, I make it count. Don't waste time wondering. Ask her. If she's not interested, move on, if she is, happy days 😀
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RHP User
9 years ago
OP, we all have different comfort zones when it comes to personal space. Our definition of what's intimate, too intimate, etc differs as well. Sounds like what you have experienced is a combination of what comes naturally to you as a show of appreciation and your desire to build a closer bond, but on her end, she feels uncomfortable with your gesture / expression because of any of a myriad of possible reasons : she is uncomfortable getting "closer" to you because she sees this as just a casual thing / she just wants sex from you and knowing that you like her more than she likes you is causing her unease and she wants to discourage you from developing stronger affection for her / she is not that into you / she has not been emotionally bonded / invested in you yet / she doesn't know what to make of it and is confused and running scared / she is commitmentphobic / she is not used to nice guys like you... Humans are complicated, esp the female species, who often possess a kaleidoscopic spectrum of emotions and sentiments that befuddles the male species. To answer your questions, OP : Does it turn you off if you receive many compliments from a guy (creative ones that is)? Nope. I love compliments... provided they are genuine and not cheesy. For some strange reason, Aussie men are very miserly with compliments. HOWEVER, if I am not attracted to the guy and / or turns out we have no chemistry whatsoever, compliments from him can make me uncomfortable because he's trying to draw me closer and establish a relationship / bond when my aim would be to put as much distance as I can between us. I know it sounds kinda strange but under such circumstances, compliments can exert a sort of pressure upon the lady to respond well / nicely to the bloke instead of writing him off because he's so "sweet". It's like you are ready to run away and put the encounter behind you because something about it freaks you out but he's being so sweet and nice that it makes you feel horrid doing it to him. That puts the person in a very uncomfortable spot and she might feel obliged to respond nicely back or feel like a total bitch. I know, I know... sounds very complicated but women are capable of spectacular non-linear thought processes! If you already had sex with a guy, do you dislike cheeky comments about taking you home again? If I want to have more of the same with the man, then nope... I will bask in those cheeky comments and put them on auto-repeat in my little head until we meet again! BUT, if I am not attracted to the man, and I don't really wish to have another liaison with him, then those same cheeky comments can give me goosebumps and make me wanna get the hell away from the guy! Wham! Bam! Thank you, Sir! Does pda turn you off? Frame the scenario in context and the crystal ball can jolly well give you its clear answer! If the woman is married / attached, then PDA's are a big no-no in most cases. Why should there even be PDA when the name of the game is discretion?! If the woman is single and just wants casual encounters, then depending on her level of flirtatiousness, maybe yes, maybe no. Ask her, talk about it, communicate! We are all different! Or allow me to use a phrase that always gets me laughing - "same-same but different" / "same-same but not quite the same"! Even if the woman is single and is attracted to you, PDA might not hit her sweet spot because well, one man's meat is another man's poison. Or, to be relevant, one woman's sweet treat is another woman's hi-cal danger food! Again, ask and discuss or risk being cussed! (Ooh! That rhymes!) Do you get scared if you feel someone might have more interest in you than you have in him - and do you determine that by the behavior displayed above? Personally, that frightens me. Some of us would love the ego boost, but there are those of us who have a conscience, and we do not wish to break anyone's heart. So if we interpret someone's actions, gestures and words as indicative of a more serious intent than what we want, of course our sixth sense alarms go blaring and we feel uncomfortable with where it's heading. Unless we know the man to be a hopeless flirt who's touchy-feely with all ladies, stuff like that can get mighty upsetting. If you are facing off with a woman who is herself a hopeless flirt and who's also touchy-feely, then of course, it's a different ball game, different rules because it's all just a huge flirt-fest for all. Heard of Sun Tzu's Art of War? Know yourself well first, and then know your "target" well. Are you both in-sync in terms of what you both want / seek for / desire? It's not always about putting yourself out there like a Sasquatch... sometimes, you have to wait, watch, decipher, think, deduce, plan. In other words, read the situation, and then exercise good EQ. Hope this provides you with a bit of insight and a bit of a laugh too! Honestly speaking, if it's truly that hard and you have to subdue your real self and tread very cautiously just to make someone happy, and if frank communication about sensitive topics are tough to start, then the msg that is bright as a beacon is that she is not compatible with you, not a kindred soul. Sadly, we don't get to choose who we fall in love with sometimes and the light of the beacon wouldn't be able to penetrate our opaque sunglass lenses. Good luck, OP!
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Seachange73
9 years ago
Compliments and PDA. I'm all for it. Compliments are great provided they are given in honesty and within context. I like receiving and giving it. It's part of making each other feel good when you're together. Part of the bonding process that may lead to something promising. I'm very much a touchy person and PDAs is acceptable to me as long as they are not over the top and again within context. Meeting for first time, not so much, but if we're friends and /or lovers why not? It's not for everyone and that's ok. in my experience, European and Latinos and even Americans are usually fine with it however Aussies and the English are more reserved if not scared of it. Lol. Go figure. however, there are always exceptions.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Wow. What an amazing response. OP, treasure that advice!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Wow... someone actually reads my comments instead of whingeing at the verbosity! +10 brownie points for you! =D
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RHP User
9 years ago
Thank you for all the answers - I'll treasure them all @Peony: Yea some beacon's one might miss..., but I sunk that ship and moved on... The whole quote goes roughly along those lines: Knowing your enemy will win you one battle, knowing yourself will win you each battle, knowing yourself and your enemy will win you the war... But if I have to change myself, adjust the way I am, or use stratagem to get someone, the person is certainly no match for me
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