M51
fwb...does it ever end on good terms friendly terms??
January 16 2017
Comments
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RHP User
9 years ago
All good here, respect and honesty will carry the day, some drift apart some are cut free but all have been good experiences to date. Honesty gets repeated ad nauseum, but where it counts most is with yourself.
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RHP User
9 years ago
On how and why it ended. You've obviously had a bad experience?
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RHP User
9 years ago
But ONLY when the entire friendship was conducted with openness and respect. Many just fade out as people move into other stages of their life.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have had two long term fwb and they both ended friendly still meet sometimes for a drink. - Posted from rhpmobile
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sweetgem
9 years ago
On the individuals and how mature they are in their mindset, mentality and life experiences. I cannot speak for other people, but for me, most of my past FWB relationships ended on good terms 😊 because we knew from the start that we could not become dating couple, so there were no expectations whatsoever in that sense. Therefore, when our time was done, we parted with dignity and respect for each other 😊 - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
You did say you'd had bad experiences!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Sometimes it dies a natural death and your interest in each other reduces and you end up becoming friends or at least you amicably never contact each other again. :p Otherwise there will always be someone who is disappointed particularly if they still feel it is going hot and heavy - for them at least.
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MsSuperFoxy
9 years ago
If people treat each other respectfully with open honest communication and actually listen to each other, there shouldn't be any issues. I think it gets messy and hurtful, because people do not listen any more or understand each other, that along with "I'll just send a text/email or just ignore, cause I do not want to place my self in an uncomfortable verbal face to face conversation". Ms Foxy
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RHP User
9 years ago
Like John and Lorena Bobbit kinda bad note?? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Never had a FWB situation end badly. Sometimes it just ends for no real reason but no one has ever gotten uptight about it. It is what it is. Now relationships are a whole different kettle of fish. Probably because feelings are a lot deeper.
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RHP User
9 years ago
(In my life, not just this year) Still friends with pretty much all of them - friends before / friends no difference
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RHP User
9 years ago
When there is trust and understanding involved... as there must be in a D/s relationship... there is always a way out and always an end... sadly. As we grow... we look for other things... we need to be mature enough to move on or knuckle down.
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RHP User
9 years ago
I'm sure it's even more likely with a fwb, but only while you have the best interests of the other person at heart, and vice versa. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'CucknShells' of a poem a friend sent to me a while ago. People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is,you will know what to do for each person. When someone is in your life for a REASON,it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.They have come to assist you through a difficulty;to provide you with guidance and support;to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.They may seem like a godsend, and they are.They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. Some people come into your life for a SEASON,because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.They may teach you something you have never done.They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.Believe it. It is real. But only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. — Unknown That was absolutely beautiful....thanks for sharing x
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RHP User
9 years ago
Damn! I like the way your head works. The FBW that I have had have been beautiful and remain so. These men are still my friends to this day. Each of them brought something really lovely to my world (and hopefully I did to theirs as well). For me honesty, genuine friendship was what made it so yummy...and they are hot as fuck. - Posted from rhpmobile
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MsJonesy
9 years ago
Ended on a good note. None have them have just petered out; all have had some reason for ending and it has always been amicable. I am still in touch with a couple of them; three years now for one of them, another one I haven't seen for about a year & a half but we regularly chat for hours. That's the reason why we were FWB....the benefits may have stopped but the friendship remains. I agree that they can end badly because the feelings/emotions on one side were well beyond whats usually found in a fwb situation.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Quoting 'SuperFoxxxy' If people treat each other respectfully with open honest communication and actually listen to each other, there shouldn't be any issues. I think it gets messy and hurtful, because people do not listen any more or understand each other, that along with "I'll just send a text/email or just ignore, cause I do not want to place my self in an uncomfortable verbal face to face conversation". Ms Foxy you are spot on there.
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RHP User
9 years ago
With the exception of one, all have ended well, well not really ended, just stopped happening somewhere along the line, but not being a relationship, just respectful ongoing fb's, no problem at all, aside from the fact that I miss them when they eventually move on. Possibly different for me because I have always had numerous partners, not just one. Why put all our eggs in one basket? 😉 only one I couldn't deal with, my fault, I stupidly fell for him and was devastated. I said things I shouldn't have said, I'm not proud of the sour note that ended on. But otherwise, all good, and there have been many. One I still communicate with, although we haven't had sex in about a year now? He's so nice, and has had vanilla relationships along the way, but our friendship is always there. I feel really lucky to have met him and I wish all guys were as respectful as him. Only in his 20's but mature for his age, and sexually mature. So that's nice. That's the way it should be. Mind you, we have tried to hook up a few times but haven't been free at the same time, so it's not really finished with, but if it were, we'd be happy being friends. I like that 😃
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RHP User
9 years ago
That poem is perfect, it gave me a lump in my throat. - Posted from rhpmobile
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Lovinit28andKC72
9 years ago
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS, the key word is FRIEND, if you're my friend, then you're my friend for a reason and that because we have some sort of connection, you're a decent human and we have formed a friendship. I will treat you exactly the same way I treat my friends with no benefits, it's all about respect and communication like any good relationship, be it sexual or non sexual.💋
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Dirtyandfriendly
9 years ago
It really depends on where you are both at, if one of you had a bad break up and rely on each other for company and one falls for the other for convenience it can end badly. As long as the rules are set before any involvement occurs then you've both covered yourselves. With my friend at the moment it's fun and I enjoy her company, she's much younger and looking to have fun with her life and I like that. Sadly though she's what I'm looking for, if more happened I'd gladly take it, but I won't as I know she's not interested. Just a shame as we saw each other three times a week and now I see her once a week :( She's a very busy woman :p
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RHP User
9 years ago
As long as everyone is up front from the start about what they want it should be no problem..... I've only had 1 bad experience & that was because she wanted our relationship to go exclusive so we did. but then a few years later she wanted to play again without telling me, the 2 worlds don't really mix that way. ;)
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RHP User
9 years ago
I had a FWB for around 6 months last year, both enjoy each other's company both mentally and physically but knew that we would never been compatible in a relationship situation (he drinks and smokes too much for me and I'm apparently too high maintenance for him). He eventually found a lady he did want to be in a relationship with, so that meant the benefits ended but we still remain good friends. Every situation is different but like all other posters have said communication and managing expectations is the key - each party must be on the same wavelength. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
like others have said depends on why it ends but i've had a few end well
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Katkat
9 years ago
Communication is the key & be open about everything, respect for each other too. Mine is about to end he wants to pursue this chick on a serious relationship meaning asking her out as girlfriend I already knew anyway it wouldn't work out for us as I'm 36 he's 24 he has he's life ahead of him people go through their own journey. But we chatted no matter what happens we're still going to be friends plus I don't like to be with a person who's attached it's just not right. - Posted from rhpmobile
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On_Safari
9 years ago
But don't think this is always going to be a situation where you can txt at Xmas Time, Birthdays or New Years arrangement. It could just be thanks for the good times nice knowing you have a great life. I'm still friends with a couple of my FWB's and I love them to bits for it. Surprisingly the one I gave most of myself to became upset by a random txt to see how he was going in his new job.....needless to say I'll never waste my time again on that one. All good. But as a friend often says, they're exes for a reason....👍🏽 Indy
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RHP User
9 years ago
I have a few former friends with benefits that are first and foremost friends. They are on my facebook, we chat intermittently and want each other to be happy in the next stages of our lives. Most were never going to be long term sexual partners and we knew that from the start so I think it was a natural progression. No hard feelings here at all 😊
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RHP User
9 years ago
When it was never the intention of being serious then no reason why it should end on a bad note. In saying that I had loads of affection for the guys I saw. Still talk to them now and again and they will always be a little bit special to me. They gave me back my self confidence and that was a huge thing for me. My guy started off as FWB.... :)
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RHP User
9 years ago
Speaking of friends, for some reason you have disappeared from the messenger app we were using.
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NotHereAnymore
9 years ago
When something starts, nobody can tell with clarity and certainty , where it will lead and what can become of it. The reasons that start connections are often very different to the reasons they end. That's natural as long as we're living and growing. My partner always reminds me that the only constant is change itself. We grow. We change. We can always be grateful for the opportunity. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
9 years ago
Normal service has been resumed.........
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Dirtyandfriendly
9 years ago
It ended today :( but not on a bad note, just very disappointed. Back to the drawing board on finding another.
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RHP User
9 years ago
HI, Miss kinky here.. I am a strong believer in communication, if its done secretly ITS CHEATING if all parties are aware and happy for it to happen then it should not end badly.. always ask lots of questions and be sure of what you get your self into!
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RHP User
9 years ago
As others have mentioned, it really is about honesty. I don't mean about what you're doing every second of the day, but clear boundaries set up in the beginning. I've only had 2 fwb that haven't parted entirely smoothly, the first was a married man who decided to end his marriage and attempt to pursue a relationship with me, that ended with me blocking his number and moving as he had begun to stalk me, following me when I would visit another fb, calling and knocking on my windows at all hours. It was sad because it was the end of a 4 year friendship, the first I'd had when I moved to QLD. The other time things weren't crystal at the beginning, which he admitted later, and although it ended with my hurt feelings, it still ended on a good note because we sat and communicated what was going on. There are others that have drifted apart because of my injuries, well the benefits, not the friendship haha, and that's fine. I wouldn't expect to hold them back from receiving the attention they need.
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RHP User
9 years ago
... but only with frank and open communication, like SuperFoxxxy mentioned. Not everyone is comfortable with discussing awkward issues but if both have the emotional maturity and openness to tackle the elephant in the room in a respectful, non-confrontational and non-accusatory manner, a deeper friendship develops. Ghosting or avoiding pressing issues or running away at the first glimpses of perceived problems will of course destroy all hopes of an enduring friendship when circumstances change. I have ex FWB's who are still my good friends. One of them has gotten married but he will always have a loyal friend in me. We share mutual friends too. I chat occasionally with the others. Sometimes, the person gradually fades away without you realising it until the blue moon arises. :P There will be people who won't be able to handle a friendship after the FWB arrangement has "expired" or lapsed. Maybe they prefer not to live with reminders of their past and they want a clean, fresh and uncomplicated start. The inability of the other party to evolve an FWB relationship into a cordial friendship is something that one simply has to accept - no one can be coaxed or coerced into it. It's got to do with the person's personality, values, trust, respect accorded to others, and modus operandi. Also, how a person reacts to anger and disappointments, control issues, etc all have a part to play. There are FWB's I never want to see again because of issues like tossing hurtful and insulting words when things don't go their way, inconsiderate behaviour, selfishness, narcissism, etc. We have to let go of some FWB's whilst others will always linger in our lives as our friends. How it pans out really depends on the unique alchemy of the parties involved. Time heals all wounds and if it's time to let go, release the other person with happy tears and gratitude for the wonderful memories. Sometimes, we have to free space in our lives so that the next significant FWB / bf / partner can enter our lives.
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RHP User
9 years ago
Awesome poem! Thanks for sharing!
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RHP User
9 years ago
Can honestly say after losing a few friend's recently for various reasons I don't have any animosity towards them. Thing's happen for a reason and are learning curves for us all. Being respectful towards each other and knowing how to exit with grace and manners is important. Regardless if there is further contact leaving with you dignity entact and the door left open to any friendship possible is up to the individual. I can say I've meet some lovley people that are still friends on different social media and would love to catch up with for a quite ale. Then there others who you would run away asap in a dark lane way.
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