M54
how can I ask my good friend of over 12yrs to be my friend with benefits.Always fun together & have been kissing for a few ye
January 23 2015
Comments
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Just be open and honest, don't do it drunk and say it from the heart. Your friendship is strong, would it survive a rejection though? Things to consider... In this case the simplest answer is just be real. If you try a setup or anything it will not come off genuine and probably won't go how you hope.
-
MissBishere
11 years ago
and make a move and see what happens.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
innocently with a slight brush of her hand with yours and see if she moves away or not. Direct eye contact with cheeky smiling eyes and watch if her pupils dilate (that's an unconscious sign of attraction). Flirt and be cheeky. If she flirts back you know you have a good chance she is thinking the same thing. Good luck. LG
-
jafuncpl1903
11 years ago
Quoting 'Missb72' and make a move and see what happens. that wat i would do or just put it out there if shes been a good friend for that long best to b open but
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Just say , would you like to come over to my place and I will cook you dinner. then flirt, soft seduction is always the best, read the body language she might just seduce you see how it goes when you get closer how she responds to you stepping into her space make sure your close enough so your breath can touch the back or side of her neck just lean in and pretend you could not quiet hear what she says.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
have you been friends for twelve years?...This could be amazing or a total disaster...tread carefully if you want to keep the friendship....some people are just attractive and flirty,in a group situation is she different with you...good luck ,hope for everything,expect nothing 😘xxFreya
-
MsJonesy
11 years ago
The heading of your thread is cut off, but you mention something about kissing for a few years. What type of kissing - long, lingering, passionate, tongue included kissing? Or closed lips short kisses on the mouth? I have to presume you are talking about more than the peck on the cheek or lips that we all do to say hello & goodbye. If its that then you are really picking up wrong signals. If its the long & passionate kissing... I think the easiest way to ask the question is straight after one of them... ask if she had ever considered you kissing her that way on other parts of her body. Her answer will determine what she is thinking and if she wants to take the friendship out of 'platonic land'. No matter what the answer she gives... talk about it if you want to keep the friendship.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Ah kissk, to be my friend with benefits sounds a triffle more realistic than friends with kissing.
-
Cheekyarses
11 years ago
Stay great friends. Don't break something that is great. Or let her make the first move - just saying
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Send her a photo of your cock.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Once someone says or does something to make it weird, it's usually impossible to go back. Can't unbreak a cracked egg. Sex, no matter how great, will never be worth as much as a solid friendship that lasts the distance. Only you will know if it might be worth it, and if it is, then I agree with my esteemed colleagues who advise to tread with subtlety. Think carefully though. Don't make it weird, man ☺️
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting '50zcool' Send her a photo of your cock. Before or after you take the feathers off. But good idea, Sunday roast is a good excuse to have a little wine and talk things over and fuck an old friend. 12 years and nothing! Think you have missed that boat unless there has been a big change in her or your life. Like if she has just left a boy friend, husband, lover, but only if she left, if she was dropped then you will look like a vulture.There is the risk, a move can make the friendship awkward. Is the friendship worth less than dipping the wick? are you prepared to risk it? What if she is a dud root, or you are? But you only live once, why wait? its only sex after all, no big deal. 12 years, no way is that going to happen. Forget it. The support strategy. Let her know you would fuck if she is hard up as you think she is alright and friends help out but strictly as a favor, and only till she gets her own supply. That is if you are ok with lying to an old friend. Ok come clean to her, "I love you, I have always loved you, lets fuck!!!!" Friend for 12 years and you still dont know if she would fuck you or not? You humans amaze me all the time.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
...kiss her on the lips and give her the flowers. Then tell her why you've done that...you'll either leave immediately or stay awhile.Yes I know you asked the ladies for their opinion but you got my 0.02 cents worth free of charge
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Get her drunk and see what happens, really? If a man I was platonic friends with did that to me, I'd feel totally betrayed. OP, why do you say the attraction is almost certainly mutual? What do you base that on, are there things she has said or done to make you think she's attracted to you too? I'd test the waters very carefully. Like Freya said, you could ruin the friendship if she doesn't feel the same way. Maybe mention that's is great you've been friends for so long, though has she ever wondered...? Perhaps say you saw a movie or read an article about people getting together after a long friendship, which made you ask. Good luck, I hope things work out for you both.
-
madotara69
11 years ago
Could see what her thoughts would be to pair up for a massage class. Mado Tara xx
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Is it really a friend with benefits that you are after, or is something more you would like to have. You have been friends for 12 years. It would be a shame to risk ruining that to just have a fuck buddy. I have a few women who have been great mates over many years.... yes they are attractive and the thought has crossed my mind on occasions. Some I have shared a bed with, flirted with laughed, cried, cuddled with, but have never crossed that line. If I had, it would never have remained a FWB or FB as I don't believe our friendship would allow it to remain that. I also believe that if that line was crossed that if it didn't work that our friend ship could return to what it has always been..... it would change it for sure. My advice.... think long and hard. Is it a FWB or relationship you want? Do you really want to change what you have?
-
RHP User
11 years ago
your hot sexy friend you have admired and loved hang'n with for 12 years !! Mister you want her ? You know her ! You know what she likes You know what she hates You know her She knows you Dont ask her for fuck sake seduce her mister make her want you brother !! You know what to do dont just fuck it up you waited 12 years think about it ? But dont take another twelve for fuck sake , woo the smoo you know who she knows you flirt stand proud puff it out make her smile make her laugh make you her man . Good luck mister. Make 2015 yours😉 - Posted from rhpmobile
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I have a best friend, been close since we were 16, always flirted, about 7yrs ago (20yrs or so into our platonic friendship) talked and decided there was some serious sexual tension between us, we talked about the pros and cons for our friendship, we decided to go for it, we had amazing sex for about 6mths(and not everytime we saw each other) it slowly stopped and our close friendship ended up closer...best friends for ever......and we still flirt lol
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Don't ask.... this pout her on the spot and forces her to respond... and her instinctive response is to hide behind the wall of self preservation. Instead...... DO. (at great risk of rocking the ladies boat here...but hey... I love a good boat rocking'. Plus.... I've had female friends ask me the same question so it equally applies to both genders) She has long ago relegated you into her Friend Zone, and its something you're going to need to break out of decisively and confidently so that she doesn't keep relegating thoughts of you back into that zone. You have a long term friendship, which is defined by your role as an "asexual friend".That is a mental perception you have to shatter, and rebuild so that she suddenly sees, hears and feels you as a sexual entity in her world. The way to do this is no different to how you engage any woman you meet and want to attract and seduce.BE a man who is comfortable with his sexuality, openness, masculinity and doesn't seduce one woman... but seduces the entire world as part of bios normal daily life. Focus on attraction.Engage her in great banter, discuss emotively reactive topics that speak to her emotions, escalate your communication occasionally via touch, lingering eye contact, occasional risky conversation topics followed by topic changes, being challenging, unapologetically masculine.... and forget about 'trying' hard to make her like you, or be sexual. Just... be the above version of you that you've concealed from her. She will let you know if you're doing it right... because her body language change from friend, so sexual woman will be recognisably different to how she has responded to you for the last 11 years and 354 days. DG
-
RHP User
11 years ago
If she is a close friend and you value the friendship, then don't spoil it by bringing sex into it. I have a lot of single, hot girlfriends, but I value the friendships too much to risk the friendships for a fuck. I don't even think about it to be honest......I can admire their beauty and body, just as admire them as friends without needing to act on it
-
RHP User
11 years ago
I think it depends what you want from her. If just sex e.g. FB/FWB, then some seduction might be the way to go a'la DG. If you want something more serious or committed, then I'm with Meander. But I also like the idea of just telling her how you feel, rather than trying to suss her out. As GuyWithRespect said, open and honest. As long as you're prepared for what might happen ...
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting '50zcool' Send her a photo of your cock.------------------ but don't do this.You say you know her well then make the move or even start theconversation with ----We have been friends for a long time sowould you like to take it further.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
Nope...... its just not the way to go, to ask her. Asking someone you've known for a long time if they wish to take it further..... forces them to make a sudden decision. And as we all know, any time you put a woman on the spot and force her to make a decision such as this.... the path of least risk and resistance will always be..... No. And this is because you have occupied the Friend Zone as a safe, non-sexual entity to her for too long. The only way for her to consider you as anything other than that Friend Zoned eunuch, is to shake shaking the cob webs out of that friendship in a thunderous and significant way, so that she must re-evaluate you on a totally new level. "Will you go out with me?"... will never cut it. Taking a bold, masculine approach showing her the world she's ignored or you've suppressed ..... is the only way to see.
-
RHP User
11 years ago
It worked for me, I knew this lady for 5 years and we always had that attraction but never addmitted it to each other next thing you know i ask her straight out of the blue and I never say this Heah what would you say if I wanted to have a sexwith you right now and blow me down with a northerly wind she said on the bench or in the bedroom now lets go lol I've always been the shy type but as I get older I realise being shy doesnt get you what you want just get out there and have fun at least you will know where you stand but if she say's yes take it slow
Boards
-
Hot Topics
Topics: 15097 Comments: 88145
-
Girls Ask
Topics: 1416 Comments: 10246
-
Guys Ask
Topics: 2520 Comments: 11718
-
Couples' Corner
Topics: 2503 Comments: 9782
-
Swingers Lifestyle
Topics: 996 Comments: 5053
-
Fetish & Fantasy
Topics: 1301 Comments: 5768
-
Hot Travel
Topics: 780 Comments: 1981
-
LGBT
Topics: 170 Comments: 869
Forum help
-
Something related with that
-
Going somewhere & want to hook up?
-
Hasn't that topic been posted before?
RHP's popular dating tool
-
Where the heck did that topic go?
Discover what RHP is doing offline
-
RHP member's RL secrets
reply
like
Share