M41
hypocritical sexualised society
December 30 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
Just look at music videos, some of them are almost pornographic these days and those women are celebrated. Yet if I want to walk down the street in a short skirt and heels or my cleavage showing, I'm branded a slut who deserves to be raped. Not fair I tells ya! If anything I think it's skankier to get one's bits out to advertise a product than to take pride in one's assets for no monetary gain.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I totally agree OP. It's ridiculous. Any wonder that both males and females are often so confused about sex with all the mixed messages they receive all the time. As you say, women in particular are subjected to two very different, competing messages in our society. On the one hand popular culture and media sends the message that they should be sexy and sexual, and that much of their worth comes from those things. But then when they actually do express their sexuality on their own terms, they are often criticised and called all the usual names. Makes me so mad!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
It's no wonder that after being so sexually repressed, people tend to really cut loose after they accept their sexuality. (Just ask miley Cyrus and the shit storm that follows her, although I think she might also be deliberately trying to lose her clean cut image so as to avoid being typecast in the future) and gr8white I agree that it is far worse to be overtly sexual for money than for self satisfaction or to express your individuality.
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RHP User
12 years ago
No mater what you do or where you do it there will always be some section of society that will frown upon it. Sexuality and its use to sell has always been with us. In the end being frowned upon is not really an issue, unless you really care what these people think and then why are you antagonizing them in the first place. Personally I don't know any people that frown upon it. What ever it is. Op I ask would you frown upon a woman of ongoing years, and maybe of ample girth freely expressing the virtues of her sensuality and the body beautiful? or is that just something the young may only express?Quoting 'Gr8whiteUnicorn'Yet if I want to walk down the street in a short skirt and heels or my cleavage showing, I'm branded a slut who deserves to be raped. OMG who does that. Has anyone told you that to your face, or is this a self imposed feeling. I would be shocked that someone would tell a young woman showing of her assets, deserves to be raped. And again why would you care what such a low life would think.Quoting 'Luckdragon23' But then when they actually do express their sexuality on their own terms, they are often criticised and called all the usual names. Makes me so mad!! Interesting, what names would they be? Have you personally experienced these name calling bigoted individuals that so suppress you freedom to express your sensuality, or is this a generalization, or a feeling. I dont know. Let the poor lost souls that have nothing better to do than complain, moan, and frown, wallow in their misguided critique. For it does not effect you if you do not care. I do remember something like "Sticks and stones..... " you know the rest. In my view this seems to be no more then the frowners being frowned upon. So thus back to the start, there will always be a section of society that frowns upon others. I do not wish to belittle any personal injustices suffered, if that may be the case. Gosh I am Bi and I know p
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RHP User
12 years ago
I do not wish to belittle any personal injustices suffered, if that may be the case. Gosh I am Bi and I know people feel uncomfortable, call me things behind my back. But do I care, not at all.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sexy women are considered "provocative" and it's the concept of this that causes us some trouble. The idea that just our physical appearance (born this way gentlemen, just like you were!) can "provoke" something, implies that we have power over people who aren't able to control the reactions we elicit. This removes accountability from the person being "provoked" and places it all on my long legs. If you think about it, it's a very watered down version of the idea behind some religions and cultures who cover their women up from head to toe in fear of the reaction a bare ankle may cause... Don't get me wrong, I enjoy provoking reactions, but I refuse to be held accountable for them.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Finding the inner slut is such a hard one to do.....this is me talking now....{.my mind rebels against this word SLUT, I have such a hard time even writing it here .} Our inner SLUT is the wild cat inside us that society don't want women to know about.and we don't want to know too.I need to come to terms with her....my inner slut....because she is a damn fine woman. Men always made women responsible for their lust towards us......because they needed a reason why they are lusting after us without a guilty feeling.I believe when we start as a society to treat each other as equals " sexually" then we are on the right path, and to admit we are sexual beings......it has to start with our children, we are born only because sex was the trigger to make this new beautiful human and not SIN with did it because we LUST mostly after the other :). As long as we treat sex and sexuality in a demeaning manner we will never get there.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Blindman67' Quoting 'Gr8whiteUnicorn'Yet if I want to walk down the street in a short skirt and heels or my cleavage showing, I'm branded a slut who deserves to be raped. OMG who does that. Has anyone told you that to your face, or is this a self imposed feeling. I would be shocked that someone would tell a young woman showing of her assets, deserves to be raped. And again why would you care what such a low life would think.How about the judges in the court room? How about the fact that a woman still has to prove herself that she isn't a slut if she gets raped. I think you are being a bit naive if you think that this sort of belief isn't still held by people in Australia and widely held in lots of countries through out the world.
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RHP User
12 years ago
What about the recent rape case in New Zealand where the judge said that the rape victim could have closed her legs!!!
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RHP User
12 years ago
You don't really hear much about them in mainstream news (which is so sanitised it's laughable), but there are still cases all the time, all over the world, of 'slut shaming' and women being blamed for their own rapes. Even 13 year old girls - as per the recent case of the 'roastbusters' in NZ. And not just by ordinary people - judges, politicians, journalists, people in positions of power, are doing this. For some reason the message about stopping rape and sexual assault is still almost always directed at what women should or should not be doing, or wearing, or places they shouldn't be going, rather than getting the message to men that they need to control themselves and that no matter what the circumstances, if the woman hasn't or cannot give explicit consent, then it's rape.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Don't get me fucking started. Having travelled throughout India late 2012 with just my sister, the fact we weren't raped as white woman begging for it as we were un companioned really is a small miracle. (Google Eve teasing for a bit of an idea) The man is known to have no self control so it is up to the woman to hide herself or keep a brother or father around at all times. I'm sure you've all seen the protests over the last year since that poor woman was raped and killed 12 months ago and they are starting to find their voice, I give 'em 3 - 5 generations to come even close to where we are now. (May I add I adored the country & the people and will return in a heartbeat, but with a man next time) So, here we are, day 1 in 2014. Well aren't we all progressive here Down Under. Not even close. The things said to Julia Gillard still turns my stomach. It proves that men, across the board (yes I know a lot of you darling men in here are progressive) still have no inkling that making derogatory gender based comments is wrong. We are also a racist society. Did Tony Abbott really only have one woman of 'merit' for his cabinet or is he a misogynistic prick? What about the LNP menu serving up “Julia Gillard Fried Quail”, consisting of “small breasts, huge thighs and a big red box”. Ummm, which Century? Would a male politician EVER be discussed and demeaned in this way? British judge Nigel Peters gave 41-year-old convicted child sex offender Neil Wilson a lenient two-year suspended sentence after the prosecutor argued that the 13-year-old female victim was "predatory" in all her actions and she is sexually experienced”. This is 2013 people. Remember the "No doesn't always mean No" debacle. And the "Destroy the Joint" group named after Alan Jones' comments have just has been named as one of Australia’s heroes for 2013 by The Guardian for outing gender vilification against women. This is public discourse, this is where it should all be very politically correct. Now, let's look at the undercurrent, what really happens in suburbia every day....... Blindman - we are judged on our clothing and actions on a daily basis. We really are. Of course nobody would say "You deserve to be raped for wearing that?" but they think it, they look at you like they are imaging doing it and it's creepy and shitty and disrespectful. I nickname my neighbour 'Turtle Tim' as every time he sees me his neck shrinks dramatically. He is physically repulsed by my 'behaviour' and thinks I'm a slut. For the record, I'm not. (Unless as someone recently said a slut = a woman with the morals of a man). Admittedly he is my ex's best mate and he came over to my house full of love and concern 6 months ago "You know I love you mate, and I treat your kids as my own, but can't you just settle down like (my ex)? You're getting a reputation." Now let us just ponder if I had the boyfriend and the ex was a root rat, who would go knocking on his door? "Um excuse me sir you are getting a bit of a reputation, I think you need to settle down." Would they fuck!!!! All his mates would be around giving him back slaps and high fives and wishing it was them. Because I have a vagina, the behaviour is unacceptable. Why? And again Blindman, I don't care what they say behind my back, or to my front, as I get a bit of that too, the fact that it happens is WRONG. *steps off soapbox - for a bit anyway* Apple anyone?
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RHP User
12 years ago
The difference between the two is who is responsible. Cravingtouch, you have bit the nail on the head. If a woman was described as evocative, then the one who has had desire evoked from within them as a result of her level of appeal is taking ownership of their feelings towards her. Yes it is the concept. MissKay, I'll have an apple. Very well said.
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RHP User
12 years ago
and I'm feeling good about my body and my outfit... and I'm attracting men and enjoying every minute of it... and its turning me on...and .. um hang on...what was I saying...?oh yeah its discrimination, bad evil men, down boy ! (except you in the nice suit, you can follow me home)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy provoking reactions, but I refuse to be held accountable for them. But provoking Vs. Invoking? We still get the blame either way. Unrushed - Pink Lady or a Granny Smith? Perhaps a Red Delicious? And Slinkey - As much as I celebrate your freedom, aren't we our own worst enemies? And hands up to guilty as charged, BUT we are judged so should seek balance in measure. Unfair certainly... but truth.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Much prefer to evoke than provoke! Evoke sounds magical and sexual, provoke sounds violent. Problem is, how do we get people to own their own behaviour? I wish it was as easy as word choice.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Anyone that says a woman deserves to be raped, leered at or spoken about negatively because of their attire or lack thereof is a fuckwit. The lack of personal responsibility in society and the propensity for judges, media etc to enable such behaviours is just plain wrong. If these so called men can't control themselves, they should either commit suicide or be executed so as to avoid further loss of self control. Ending a predators life, to save an innocent person is a trade off I'll happily make all day every day.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I, in almost half the counties of the world would be arrested and imprisoned, in some cases it would be life in prison, and in way too many it would be the death plenty. I know many many gay and bi people that hide their sexuality because we do suffer not just words and frowns. Men that have been rapped are laughed at and ridiculed by the police, and the few cases that make it to court seldom get a conviction. In many countries it is not even acknowledged that men can be raped. This is not a female issue. This is about sexuality. More then half of the flirts and messages I get (and I get a lot) from men on this site are from men that do not list that they are bi or gay on there profile. When I ask why? the answer is almost always because women will not approach gay or bi men, sexual discrimination is common even in a supposed liberal site like RHP (and yes some gay guys still enjoy sex with women) In these very forums I have been called dirty, diseased, and more, based simply on the fact that I openly declare that I am BI. I don't ever go to the chat rooms here on RHP because as soon as I express my sexuality I get turned on (LOL I dont mean sexually) and verbally attacked. So I have had my one and only ever rant about being BI. When I read that some feel they suffer from frowns, remember many of us must actively hide our sexuality because well legitimately fear violence and discrimination for nothing more then being our selves.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Couldn't agree with you more. Yes we bang on about woman's rights and misogyny (as we should) but our culture is homophobic, racist, sexist, terrified of 'illegal' immigrants, the list goes on and on. We are full of hatred and fear through nothing more than sheer ignorance. If you don't fit into the 'Leave it to Beaver' 1950's man & wife with 2.5 children 'box', you WILL be judged, vilified, gossiped about behind your back, and sadly emotionally or physically threatened. Yes it isn't a female issue, or even only a sexual one, as the OP stated it was just an example. And I can attest that you are 100% correct about the number of Bi guys that list themselves as straight to not be judged and have a better chance with the ladies. It is damned sad that this happens on a site such as this. I'm also sorry you have those very legitimate fears, so maybe sticks and stones AND names do hurt.......
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RHP User
12 years ago
now after reading you are abused on here....on RHP for being BI.....this is a very very hard comment to swallow. I cant get this in a place like here. Is it because you are Bi and everybody knows you are having anal sex???? I am so confused......isn't this the newest rage in hetro sex???? so what is the difference??? I know I cant donate blood when I say I had sex with a bi man......straight and fucking in the arse is accepted, I think.....because she, the nurse, couldn't give me an answer, even I told her I dont have anal sex.Now my second question to you......shouldn't you be celebrated on here for being BI.....??? didn't I just read a forum post on MMF....again the latest rage>>>>fuck Blindman.....I am really confused.I find rape or foul language against anybody very sad......but as I said....we have to start with our children.....to teach them an open mind, in all manners.....as long as we don't do this....nothing will change.Blindman.....I am so sad.....how can people do this on here.
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RHP User
12 years ago
No all bi-sexual men have anal sex. In fact not all gay men have anal sex either. People are just scared and ignorant and sexually repressed. Although it is interesting that you have immediately jumped to the anal sex thing. Why did you do that???
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RHP User
12 years ago
I accept that because I have sexually suggestive photos of myself on my profile, I now normally hide most of my saucier but tasteful photos and have done for a year or so, and that I speak about sex, that I speak about sexual experimentation, that I speak about my sexual experiences which some may consider a little wild, that I am often rude and vulgar, that this behaviour invites a certain type of message, such as disgusting rude messages from men who are strangers to me yet show me absolutely little or no respect and do not even see me as a person... I am just some fantasy dirty woman in their heads... means that I have had my account shut off from emails most of my time on RHP. I fear that people do get the wrong impression of me which is why I have considered a number of times of starting a new account and closing the Meeka account. But I fear I would give myself away as at the end of the day this is me and this how I choose to express myself amongst lovers and close friends. I do get that some people might find that a bit confusing as it does take me a while to warm up to people ... so it's just easier not to meet anyone one on one.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Is it because you are Bi and everybody knows you are having anal sex???? Everybody? I am pretty much like most people. Most people are sadly not interested in my sex life, nor do I give a blow by blow description of what I do when I have sex. How could they even know if I had sex with a man or a woman last. Nor is there any know way to tell if someone has ever had anal sex. I am so confused......isn't this the newest rage in hetro sex???? I would not know as I am not hetro... LOL but so they say, I have not noticed any increase in the number of women that want to take it up the arse. But then I have never really been a tend setter. so what is the difference??? Hetro's never seem to douche eeeewwwww grosss... Very rare for non-hetros to not be spotlessly clean. You have no idea the extent many will go to to make sure they will be absolutely immaculate all night long. Pop in a tictac or two for that extra confidence... For me if its not clean (male or female) I am not going near it. Bugger that... LOL Sorry to the hetros that do cleen. Now my second question to you......shouldn't you be celebrated on here for being BI.....??? As much as you should celebrate being straight or what ever you are, why should being Bi make me more special then you. Blindman.....I am so sad.....how can people do this on here. Don't be sad, that's the point of public forums, we need diversity. I take no offence, I am but amused. I have received death threats from RHP members, they even systematically tied to track me down with fake profiles wanting meet ups. They got my phone number and half a dozen attempts to get my address. All because I defended and encouraged bisexuality. They are lucky I am a nice guy because if I did what my friends wanted me to do these people would be behind bars right now. (Truly shocking what they messaged me and ranted down the phone.) I feel sad for them and so should you :( poor lost souls what made them so fearful and angry). As for the blood donor thing. its a policy not a law. Its there only as a public relations benefit. No one in Australia has the legal right to enforce you to disclose your sexual preferences. AND there is no law that stops you lying about who you have slept with. Do you really think they rely on the the forms you fill in to be truthful and accurate to keep the blood safe. When i get my STI checks and IF they ask me to answer questions about my sexuality. I always write Confidential or cross out those parts. What I would like to write is "None of your fucken business, this information is in no way relevant to the accuracy of these STI tests. Why would I ever want a public sector document to record my sexual preferences and what I do in private. " Did I just rant again????
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RHP User
12 years ago
I did it, because the mainstream has all this in their mind......anal sex bi or homosexual men.....that's why we had a HIV label firmly attached to Gay people.....can nobody remember this. because of anal sex we have HIV...that was mostly the stigma attached, I know its bullshit.....And yes that's why I wrote it like this. And honest go and donate blood and say you had sex with a bi male the table changes.....this was my experience. I haven't donated blood since then because I have still this lover.And yes Meeka....I have never even gone near anal sex because it freaks me out.....I have no idea whether I am right or wrong but I just get the yuuk factor.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Findingmemo... You don't get get it man... Everyone is here saying "this is what I am, love me don't judge me" and you're encouraging suicide and murder... I'll let you know a secret, come closer... No one in this world is either black or white... We are all shades of grey... Every last one of us. I think memo you need to think a little deeper... Or risk becoming as bad as those that you despise. Hp xo 💌 Because you're worth it...
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RHP User
12 years ago
over the years ive heard blokes say this countless times. Man I cant even put a number on the amount of times ive heard men and even women say this . some of them have even being mates of mine, yes not good mates that's for sure. But id say its pretty common these days for people to say ,if she dresses like a whore she deserves to be raped . Post a pic of a slutty looking chic on fb and read the type of comments that follow and you will see what I mean lol As for my personal opinion I think it really sucks that women have to worry about what they wear and people judging them . Its 2014 we should be way more evolved and open minded. In my opinion religion is to blame. Quoting 'Gr8whiteUnicorn'Yet if I want to walk down the street in a short skirt and heels or my cleavage showing, I'm branded a slut who deserves to be raped. OMG who does that. Has anyone told you that to your face, or is this a self imposed feeling. I would be shocked that someone would tell a young woman showing of her assets, deserves to be raped. And again why would you care what such a low life would think.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Have you been to Europe or to the States both those areas make Australia look like a prude.
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RHP User
12 years ago
now I cry.
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