is it just me

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Dave i wouldn't be worries in thinking that you're alone.Not everyone is suave or has a saunter about them that will catch the girls eye, nor a perfect conversation starter.I know I've had my fair share of similar feelings and haven't really done too much to improve my success rate with talking to women.However if i was to give any advice (remember advice is out there to read but doesn't have to be taken );I'd say that confidence and general happiness with yourself are a big issue.In my experience women do gauge us men on our own insecurities and on the other end of the spectrum - overconfidence.If you're happy with who you are then you will give out a positive energy and that will be more attractive and also give you a confidence boost. (And no I'm not just talking about physically but if you're comfortable with your exterior then it does also help).Women in general are very good at reading body language so having positive body language will vastly improve your chances of a successful first meet since they probably have first judged you before you've even said a word.As far as tips on conversation's or icebreakers.Be observant and insightful, show interest in who she is and make your intentions clear that you are interested in more than getting her into the sack later.Explain what you saw in her that gave you the courage to come over the room to talk to the lady.Ask Open questions (ones which can't simply be answered with a yes or no).Uhh there's a lot more but i didn't expect this to be a big reply.Like i said, I've had troubles myself ... as most guys have. This is purely what i've found from my experiences and you don't have to take this as law but more of a consideration.And most importantly be yourself :)Cheers, HH

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  IDK.. just about everyone is shy. why not try an experiment... Whatever it is that you are saying to the guys... say to the women.     I hate meeting people in noisy environments because I have to shout at them to be heard.... it's very hard to express myself like that... so I usually stay quiet... maybe you have to get in a comfortable environment for chatting.   Hugs Gaz

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Its common for men to feel alittle awkward trying to 'chat up' a woman in a public place, The best advice i can give is get use to talking to women in a safe environment ie talk to saleswomen, check out girls, just chat. Hold yourself well and go from there. Its all about confidence, On sites like this, much of it is superficial, the guys that complain about 'the women not responding' type situation exists only in this kind of situation. Women can pick and choose very easily by simply looking at your profile, your picture or just the flirt you sent. In the real world, unless of course you scare people with your hideous looks and crap personality, You'll find most women (not all, but most) will indeed reply to you nicely, whether they are interested or not. Confidence is the true 'sexy' attribute, online its all about the pictures, the 6 pack or the arms (once again, that's for alot of women).Lets be honest (i was going to make a new thread about this but didn't bother) how many people actually want to be-friend or date those buff 'i work out twice a day' guys? I would suspect very few, because for the most part, you want to attract people with similar interests to yourself, for myself, alot the eye-candy of someone of the hot young ladies on here with the tight bodies and the work out clothes on, is very attractive, in a real world situation I wouldn't really want to meet or date them anyway. I work long hours, I get home worn out, all i want to do is sit down for 20 minutes, then get dinner ready. I don't want to walk in the door and find my girlfriend is ready to go for a long distance run, or off to the gym or whatever. So what were we talking about?Oh right, your human right? So is she, be polite and say g'day, then flow from there, there is no set structure of how to converse with someone your interested in, mix in some sarcasim (make it obvious your being sarcastic to, or you'll look like a jerk) and just talk. And don't stress about looking abit silly or stuffing up a line, I once got a girls number one saturday afternoon, walked passed a shop, saw a very nice looking young lady loading shelves, I spent 25 minutes with her picking out towels and bath mats, Spent clost to $150 on stuff that a bachelor has never even heard of....like bath mats and face towels.....stuffed up the line I had been working on, once i realised i stuffed it up i laughed and just said something like...lines really don't work hey? she agreed and i spent another 20 minutes chatting with her about fail pick up lines guys throw around, it was good fun, she was a nice girl and we went out on a few dates, but it never really went anywhere. My point is, we are all human, decent (or atleast half decent) looks, a good personality and sense of humour, with a dash of confidence and im sure you'll be fine

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  I have to commend you GT, a point well thought out.And as a little additive to your post; If they aren't the kind of person to give someone time of day or at least a pleasant reply then that's your answer that they aren't worth your effort anyway.Don't take it as a insult to you but a reminder that you are a better caliber of person.And i can relate to that linen story too >.<Cheers, HH

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  RHP User

  16 years ago

  Maann,its tough as hell to to talk to most people and have them be interested in what u say.Ive formed a little technique that helps me.First youve gotta at least say hello in a polite and confident manner.Have some basic questions in your book that will at least get them talking about themselves,lets face it everyone likes it when someone shows interest in them. Start with your name at least and maintain eye contact as if your interested,and for christ sake dont forget thier name or what they are saying.This will naturally lead to more words being spoken.Once you have that little opening of rapour the feel,felt,found comes in.I know how you feel,Ive felt the same way but Ive found that etc. etc. and once you are both looking in each others eyes with interest it gets easier. If from the start shes not interested at all,and you,ll know because she wont even want to look at you,be polite and say well sorry to bother you ,but I hope you have a wonderful day anyway. Because they arent interested today,and it could be for any reason,because you were polite and took no affront they may just come back at some point and start talking to you. But youve gotta say howdy first and keep eye contact,a smile helps the most. Its all in the look in your eye and the smile on your dial.Cheers

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