judgement

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  RHP User

  4 years ago

  It’s actually hard, you’ll realise that in time. Most of us want to be good people but find it hard to tolerate perceived stupidity. I often struggle with wanting to be kind whilst banging someone’s head against a wall 🤷🏼‍♀️

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  countrytouch82

  4 years ago

  Well I've been here about 7 years and I have noticed that change, and anecdotally it was occurring before I joined also. There used to be quite many fairly in-depth discussions, and people that weren't interested in a particular topic or OP would typically just simply not engage. Now it's basically a free for all for any opinions of the topic or the writer. Which is fine for people having the right to say whatever the hell they want in response to a question (free speech and all), but unfortunately it means a turnover or reduction in forum contributors seeking depth of thought and discussion. Might be that the times are simply changing. And/or that more people use their phones instead of a computer, and in a more immediate paced world, so more inclined for quick sharp responses rather than longer thought out replies. Or I'm just completely wrong again somehow talking BS haha. That said I'm on my phone now (voice to text sometimes works well). [Ducks any arrows]

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  RHP User

  4 years ago

  I think a lot of the time genuine questions are met with quite a good deal of constructive comments. Bit some other I read them and think “did an adult person really just ask / say that?” Those are the ones who deserve to get flak

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  AnnieWhichway

  4 years ago

  As touched on by Country Touch....pun there... much has changed in recent years. Many topics several years ago would have a vast variety of opinions and thoughts, some over a hundred posts. It's was in depth, raw, passionate and entertaining. Amongst it all was answers, experience, more questions, arguements but behind it all a sense of sharing of peopkes first hand encounters. One could take it all in or nothing at all. But at the end of it all, censorship killed the forums here. It drove people away till it turned it to what it is today, a limited posting of limited experiences that do not address the questions in enough detail to draw a conclusion by those that ask. There isn't enough posters to provide the experience. Sure, there aren't the firefights and the arguments anymore but within all that, there were passionate answers to the questions.

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  MsSuperFoxy

  4 years ago

  Welcome Pumpkin. I don’t think that it’s ever possible to live a life where we never judge. Heck, I even judge myself and am my own worst critic. I'm OK with that. I’m definitely guilty of being judgemental towards some posted forum topics. However, I'm certinally not mean spirited or vicious about it. I have been on the wrong side of harsh judgment before in the forums and I know how much it can hurt. I mean hurt. Over the years the forums have certinally tamed down. Ms Foxy

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  MsSuperFoxy

  4 years ago

  PS: I've met some truly amazing people through the forums. I even met people who's posts I thought "What the Fuck!", but in real life they are just who they are and I've accepted that. Friendships have been formed and others I just choose not to met again. It can be difficult getting to know a person by just going on their posts alone. You are right tho, some are just Dicks that lack substance. Ms Foxy

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  RHP User

  4 years ago

  Wow I was actually going to post a question along the same lines. I use to love reading the forums but now it does have petty judgemental feel where some forumites love to offload negativity onto others who are just asking a simple question.

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  teamaj2

  4 years ago

  I think as in real life and on RHP it takes all types of people to make up this RHP community . Some will be patient , caring and want to add input to those not as experienced as themselves. Some will be quick to judge and some more tolerant. It takes all sorts , as I said . It would be comforting to believe that those new to exploration would feel comfortable in asking a question on the forum. There will always be those quick to judge or criticise. That’s just real life . Ax

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  Tall74nHard9

  4 years ago

  Agree with teamaj - you are generally going to find here what you find outside. We're just as representative here as in real life. Good people and jerks, and whatever in between. With time you'll get to know who's what. Welcome aboard ! Tall

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  Mrs_Deep_Love

  4 years ago

  I think your perception of what is judgemental is interesting. Opinions will vary, just because they don't fit in with your opinion doesn't make it judgemental. Why would you think this community would be more tolerant than any other community? We are all normal people from varied backgrounds, we are not special. I think the posts that receive the most backlash are those with obvious self promotion intentions and those topics posted by obvious fake profiles. If you are disrespectful enough to put up a profile with a fake photo, You can't expect to be taken seriously. The regulars will take the piss out of you.

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  Alex_Lover

  4 years ago

  I think one of the main problems is the pool of us forumites is tiny. Only very dedicated people would bother using these 1990's technology forums. The way RHP structure their services, with everything operating in separate silos, profiles, forums, stories, amateur pics etc, not linked, not searchable etc means there's essentially no discovery of content on this site. I can't see an interesting profile, then check what they've said on forums, or stories they've written, amateur pics they've shared. I can't read a story, then find other stories that profile has written etc. It's the opposite of how social media works, hide everything. Added to that there's no notifications of forum responses, so no way to know if anything is happening on the forum without manually checking/searching it yourself. (I understand the forums are not included on some versions of the app, because of Google/Apple?) I don't understand how this works when the Twitter app has wall to wall hard core porn in the same app stores. Combined with every post needing to be manually validated by admin before going live, with plenty of censorship ... and this place is mostly dead. RHP could be a wonderful place for the community, but not when the primary focus is making sure people can't connect without paying. Woah... sorry, way off topic. But yes, a tiny pool of very dedicated forumites, probably doesn't lead to the wide propogation of new/open ideas and ideals. - Alex.

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  RHP User

  4 years ago

  We have certainly found it to be quite common that profiles that state how non-judgemental or open minded people are, those people who insist on asking others to accept them and what they like to do without judgement are so so often the most judgemental themselves. Why is it often so hard for people to accept that it is our differences that makes us special. It would be pretty bloody boring if everyone was the same, into the same things and expected others to instantly like what you want them too.. we never expect others to come running to try what we like nor do we push our likes on to others. We are mostly happy to go with the flow and often go at the other couples pace so everyone feels safe, comfortable and happy. Along the way we have also found that even if people are into shit that isn't really our cup of tea, if can often be just as hot to see them enjoying it, watching them getting off by whatever it is they like and just seeing how much they enjoy it can be as hot to watch as it is to be involved.. Oh and BTW, 100% non-judgemental open minded couple here 🤣🤣🤣 literally the only 2 things we judge people on are ignorance and intolerance, the rest is happy days

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  MsSuperFoxy

  4 years ago

  I do believe a point has been proven with the missing posts of late. If someone is going to posts stupid and ridiculous posts, expect posters to call them out and them disappear. Ms Foxy

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  RHP User

  4 years ago

  We use to like the forum. A genuine source of entertainment. However, like yourself noticed a deterioration in the replies. The OP might not be "all there" or articulate as some have suggested but for some it's difficult to stick to the subject or just refrain from making a statement. "If you haven't got a good word to say etc". We think there are a few who, metaphorically speaking, like the sound of their own voice, although it be in print and use the OP's question, query or statement to generate profile views. Free advertising. Maybe their home life is dull and as with other social media platforms, just become Trolls. If the post is stupid then just ignore it and it will be relegated to the realms of obscurity.

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  FeistyFatty

  4 years ago

  The forums are tame (lame) AF in recent years,especially lately. Compared to many moons ago, you could really sink your teeth into the subject matter. Now so many people are just seeming to be here to either have a sook or use them as a classified to advertise. Either way, I have zero tolerance. And as humans,we all judge.... simple. Its how we react to that which is most important. These sites, and to a larger degree the forums,are not for the faint hearted. I've vomited nonsense and disagreeable prose on the forums more times than I care to admit over the years but thats life.... dust oneself off, a bit of an uppercut for not applying filters to self and get over it. My "taking the piss" and sledgehammer sans filters bluntness is often misconstrued as judgement. Why do we (humans) care so much about what others think? That's more significant than answering why the forums are full of us mouthy judgey cunts lol🤷‍♀️...... yep, paraphrasing 👍 Welcome to RHP Pumpkin🙏😊

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  RHP User

  4 years ago

  I don't think it is a RHP issue. There has been a major shift in tolerance levels. People have been separated by personal opinion, and there is in extreme need to be right / above the other person. There is always going to be people who operate differently to the norm or have their own opinions. Unfortunately there is no button to push to turn that off. If I see someone who is clearly on a different path to me, and they are projecting a lot of negativity, I either ignore or block.

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  RHP User

  4 years ago

  I'm glad for the time I've had here in the forum for better or worse. Lol. I have learned so much to deal with online interactions. We all have our choices to take our chances and more than not I have found this a forum to take it or leave it as funny as that may sound. There's a lot to learn and much caring to be had.

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