M63
mixed feelings
July 07 2009
Comments
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RHP User
16 years ago
Well EVEN if you were ONLY planning for sexy meets, ONE night stands and not planning on a relationship, occasionally there might be someone you meet whom you like BEYOND the purely physical. to my way of thinking, though this MAY be more common for this to happen to females, im sure it can happen for guys too - only if shes married or defacto or really SO busy or hurt that she can only have these physical meets you could end up hurt and your feelings are on the line. I havent had it happen on RHP but then im very new to this particular site but have had repeat encounters on other sites not just one nighters so, why not.
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RHP User
16 years ago
MMMM very hard sometimes to know where the other person is at, especially when your mood is not in the same place perhaps due to time and distance
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RHP User
16 years ago
Yes, I can honestly say that I have. How to deal with it? Well, I just have to remember what I have, what I want, and what I need. Answering those questions honestly can clarify the situation. Yes, we are people with emotions and there will be times that you come across a play date that justs "fits" perfectly. It is hard, very hard, but in the end only you can decide whether its worth pursuing or not. Good luck.
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RHP User
16 years ago
mixed feelings are common for everyone. Suppose the important thing is if those feelings are welcome or not. Sometimes Im not sure how people will react to what i write. but i think if you are honest then you can only gain through any relationships or friendships that are formed here. Chatting with the right people can also steer you in the right direction with wha you actually wantt it is. Like you said we are all human and a there is a broad library of experience to be shared. Sure if you look hard enough you will find the answers you need. Or you can buy a magic eight ball. they can be helpful too.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I told myself I only wanted to meet guys for fun and sex after our break up, but Ive met a guy from here who has visited me twice now and he seems really nice and i would like to take things further with him. My problem is I told him I dont want to settle down with anyone and hes cool with that, and he knows I meet other guys for it, but I dont want to lose him out of my life now. I want him to be there for me, but I still want to meet others for casual sex now and then, so yes, I'm confused about what I want, but I know hes kinda special and I should keep him.
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RHP User
16 years ago
yes i had met a man that i thort i may get more from and although things were going great a smal,l error by me made him dissappear and im still confused as to why but thats life i guess. there are times you will meet and not have an agreeing partner at times we only get dealt wot we can deal with in life xxxx
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RHP User
16 years ago
I think it is more likely to happen to a woman than a man, but I guess that honesty is the best policy. If people are looking for "the one" I imagine that there are other places to look rather than here. It is tricky because I am the female partner in a couple who often plays alone with single guys (with my partners blessing). One particular guy has become a friend as well as a fuck buddy so I have to be careful that it doesnt get out of hand
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RHP User
16 years ago
Nah. I'm not so in touch with my "feelings" in any kind of intellectual way. They are what they are.... I've generally got two emotions.... horny and cranky.. so if I'm feeling horny and cranky at the same time I suggest you hang on. I will say this... I'm a firm believer in the idea that people recognise others with whom they connect... often before they say a word... maybe it is pheremones.... maybe it's an awra or something. On-line I think it is possible to sense a connection to someone you've never met... maybe from what someone says .. or just in the way that they say it.... and I think what is very interesting is that that sense of connection can often be traced back to events in both lives that are in common. Still, there's plenty of fun in trying to work out what the connection is. As for confused.... well, I've accepted that I am polyamorous. I can be in love with lots of people so just one more isn't going to make much of a difference.. that helps reduce any conflicting emotions.... and conflict leads to confusion... so we don't want that! Live and let love.
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RHP User
16 years ago
yeah, it can get a bit wishy washy here I've been sort of seeing a guy on here who has a married fuck buddy!!! He has become a good friend & is helping me through a difficult patch, however it gets increasingly hard when you discover the guy (single) is actually feeling more for the married fuck buddy than yourself, kind of makes you want to run very quickly the other way!!! I'm not looking for "the one", I am looking for a regular friend.
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RHP User
16 years ago
i have recieved some great advise hare and have made one or two new friends i have always tried to live my life by what my father used to say to me "son always follow ur gut feeling" so again 3 yrs after his passing ive listened and with ur help figured it out thanks beautifull peoples max
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RHP User
16 years ago
Well it's a given we share body fluids, surely we'll get attached and if it's a decent "shag", moreso!!! Shiloh kind of summed it up, when you do find that partner that does it for you, even if you are seeing others, you preference surely will come back to them. Redi is right in a way too. Being single, it's hard enough finding a decent shag these days, let alone becoming friends with them - kind of pisses the single women off that the couples leap at the decent guys taking them out of the picture - let alone become emotionally attached to them. Maybe couples should play with couples and leave the singles alone.
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RHP User
16 years ago
I think there are a lot of people who have no idea what they want. They just want someone to lead them so they can discover what they want. If you know what you want then there will be less confusion. Of course, keep yourself open to new experiences as well! :)
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RHP User
16 years ago
I'm sorry if hotblonde feels that couples are stealing all the single guys......not the case here. We have been contacted by single guys on all occasions, asking if they can play with us. I think it is up to everyone one to chose who and how many people they play with. Sometimes the single guy plays just with the female, sometimes with both of us. We are interested in also finding couples to play with but that is proving a bit more tricky. As long as all parties want the same thing, I dont think it matters who or how many play.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Obviously Chaddycouple, you're feeling guilty there?? If you read what I said, considering this is a forum on mixed feelings and how people get involved or start to develop feelings for the partner, what I was getting at is how couples seems to muddy the waters, letting the female carry on what is in effect an "affair" with a single guy who probably started off wanting a threesome, thus taking the single guy out of the picture for other single women, especially if it's someone you regularly let the woman play with. What it all boils down to, when you take the emotion out of sex that's just it SEX. If you're happy to play with single guys in the hope that 6 months down the track the female won't have feelings for that single "regular" then so be it - kind of like having three in the marriage. Yes it is up to everyone to choose who and how frequently they want to play, but when you've got a regular partner you play with, you're bound to feel things for them after time.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Bottom line is my husband gets my love and all those yummy emotional feelings :D But I guess love does happen on this site. My best friend fell madly in love with someone from this site. She was always saying she would never get attached to someone online, but with him she fell into his trap, then he broke her heart big time. I guess its a risk one takes online to fall in love with someone. Same thing happens in person too...it's life! I personally don't think this site is good for finding love but again on that note there are some I know who have met on this site, met and fallen in love and still are in love. Kudos to them. So I guess rhp is just different for everyone. Kaito x
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RHP User
16 years ago
Yes Kaito, I've seen the "testimonials" on here, but seriously only believe, if you've fallen for a "FB", especially someone you've met on here, then it's doomed from the start............... Keep it platonic, keep the feelings squashed......you only get hurt otherwise
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RHP User
16 years ago
Felt the need to revisit this forum since writing my initial thoughts.I've become close to someone I met on here, he's a wonderful person, we have fun together and i consider him one of my best friends. He sees another woman infrequently as she is married and the hook ups are condoned by this persons husband. He has stronger feelings for this woman which I have always been aware of and I don't get in their way, it's what he wants. He's been my rock lately however all it seems to take is for her to text him or message him in some way for him to shut down emotionally on me in preparation for their "meeting". Yes, I got too close and yes it hurts. After coming out of a bad marriage and meeting one genuine guy that I totally trust, I envy this woman and the power she has over not only her husband but my friend, so much so that I'm considering walking away for his and her happiness.Sex is a powerful emotional tool, not to be taken lightly. When two people share such a passionate emotion, you're bound to develop feelings for them. I'll repeat what I said previously, you end up getting hurt.
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RHP User
16 years ago
Redi, I wouldn't mess with that situation. If that was me, I would walk - no matter how close the friendship is. If this married woman left her husband, you know exactly where she'll run to and then where will the friendship be??? In the rubbish bin.Walk away
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RHP User
16 years ago
I'd take the opposite stand. Stick by your friend redi2try. If he shuts down emotionally towards you for someone else every now and again, that's not so bad is it? I mean, he is still your friend.. nothing has changed. We all have the capacity to love more than one person. Also, if she leaves her husband we all know that the fb is just the first person she will run too.. but time and time again we know it never lasts long. Is his friend there to pick him up when he's been dumped? Hugs Gazza
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RHP User
16 years ago
Yes gazpacho, I can see where you're coming from and I semi agree. I've always put my friends feelings first, always been the one to offer the shoulder and be there when needed. I've never asked for anything in return apart from honesty and I've lost a LOT of people through my divorce and the fact a few turned out to be less than genuine. Their friendship has been going on for quite a while now and they are close. I feel like I'm intruding half the time or taking him away from her. It's becoming more apparent as time goes on that they want to be together, so Withering is probably right, I should leave them be to be happy, it's all I've ever wanted of my friends and I don't want to hurt him.
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RHP User
16 years ago
when all is sorted you'll get hurt redi, I agree with wither, I would walk away tooreason why I NEVER get involved with guys seeking couples - they always end up falling for the wife & screw everyone else nice that enters their lives, they have their cream
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RHP User
16 years ago
Oh and Gazpacho, he doesn't love me we're just good friends - meant to clarify that earlier.
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RHP User
16 years ago
They belong in one or the otherYES / NO there aint no grey areas in my head
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RHP User
16 years ago
Quoting 'Blue_Movies' They belong in one or the otherYES / NO there aint no grey areas in my headHopefully there is grey matter...CheersMrsP
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RHP User
16 years ago
easier like that
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