M55
really !! please explain !
November 28 2015
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
But if people like you and enjoy your company then it makes it harder for her to play the "Poor Me" game.Silly woman. To me that would have been an ideal situation and such a good example for your daughter. Even as a woman I cant explain the way some of us act. Humans are crazy creatures.
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Dryphuz
10 years ago
she wants you to be the evil ex and you're not. Best for both you and her current partner to be careful about pissing her off, but getting along with him is setting a great example for your daughter. You can't make her out to be the bad guy, but you can let her make herself the bad guy.
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RHP User
10 years ago
You were maybe painted out to be the bad one in this situation, and to be seen as a nice guy would not have went down well! My ex means nothing to me at all, but if we had a situation like that Id rather he got on with everyone than looked like a dick. Mind you, I had a (female) friend staying from overseas, he found out and came storming round demanding the coffee machine of all things. If he had come round, been nice and chatted first, he would have looked pretty normal and not angry and bitter. Thank goodness he left Perth...... OP, dont change and dont feel guilty, you were being you and if someone else had issues with that, its their problem xx
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
After the ex telling everyone what an arsehole you were, Here you are being pleasant and funny, a normal guy. Makes her look like the ogre. I was in a similar situation. When picking up my son when he was in his teens, I would stay for a coffee and chat. Her man and i would get on great and have a laugh. Best part was we both hung shit on the ex wife in a funny sort of way. Better part was I could then leave and let him deal with the fallout. LOL
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MissBishere
10 years ago
And this will get be crucified.... I'd probably be shitty to, actually no I would be extremely pissed. My ex was a total arsehole and the crap that he put me through was horrendous. I still will not be alone with him even after 10 years of being divorced. So I'm thinking if I had a new partner and he was aware of all of this and then proceeded to be best mates with the man that had caused me all of this pain and suffering and fear... Yeah I'd be pissed. To me it would be like you were condoning what he had done to me. BUT I would also never be in this situation as the ex would never be in my house. So there's a different perspective for you. I don't know you or the relationship you had with your ex when she was your wife or how it ended. But I do know that everyone has their own perception of what happened and for others to say "oh she wanted to play the victim" is unfair. Your ex is the only one that knows what her reality about the relationship and breakup you shared is. AND let me just add the new partner to say that to you is bad form in my book again for the reason stated above. to me that's him siding with the enemy. ok I've got my big girl pants on now, fire away.
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RHP User
10 years ago
boundaries..she doesn't want to socialise with you....you are her ex for a reason....it's probably no coincidence though that you and her new man get on well.,you probably have similar personality traits.You have painted a rather unpleasant picture of her OP.she doesnt get a right of reply...she probably feels quite undermined by this situation and IMO you have shown,as has the new man ,the sensitivity of a block of wood.xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Missb72' I don't know you or the relationship you had with your ex when she was your wife or how it ended. But I do know that everyone has their own perception of what happened and for others to say "oh she wanted to play the victim" is unfair. Your ex is the only one that knows what her reality about the relationship and breakup you shared is. When people post these sorts of topics in the forums we are only hearing their side of the story, which is of course going to be biased and present themselves in a good light. We have no idea about the full details of this relationship, the breakup, or what else may have transpired at this party. Who knows, the ex could have valid reasons for being pissed at him, but it's unlikely that the OP would tell us if she did (note that I say if, I'm not assuming what the back story is and that's the point). Context matters a lot and I'm not going to pass judgement on what a complete stranger's motivations are without knowing anything about that context, other than a very brief story from their ex. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean anything, women are not a monolithic group after all.
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MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
The child is the most important and their happiness...You placed yourself in a situation that has now caused serious effect with your child's mother, her partner and your child. My I suggest do not fall into the trap of a Drama Triangle. You ex is an ex for a reason. You may get on with her partner- he's not your friend - he is your ex partners partner. Leave them alone and get on with your own life (that's more important) and keep in mind your daughters happiness. At the end of the day it's about the child. Ms FOXY
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RHP User
10 years ago
what do you care what she thinks anyway??? She's your ex....you don't need her blessing.... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
About exes being so horrible to you that you dont want to see them again, Ive been there.....and had to let go of the bitterness not long ago because it was eating me up so much. But if the OP was invited to stay the night with them I think this must show that it wasnt the case? He could have stayed at a nearby hotel and attended the graduation from there. But, yes, there are always 2 sides, I just had to go by the OPs version as that was the original question?
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RHP User
10 years ago
HER stories of you..... were in contrast to how you were. Some people spend a lot of energy demonising their ex, to make themselves feel better. Seems like she has some issues. Stir has it in a pair of nut shells.... Be you.... thats what those other people enjoyed, and you enjoyed.... even if she didn't.They're not your issues.... and other people will now know that, so don't take her issues on as yours.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Missb's post also makes sense to me. Perhaps the ex-wife did indeed feel her new partner was betraying her by not being a united front, whether he felt she was in the right or not. Like LD said, we only have one side of what happened here and there are at least two more.
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RHP User
10 years ago
To much goes on that the kids have to endure , why cant adults , yes adults put it all aside for the kids no matter how old , who do we think the kids learn from to be in relationship and we wonder why there's so much anger in the world We are all somebodies x and we all pissed each other off , otherwise we would still be there , but think of the kids watching us adults
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sweetgem
10 years ago
I don't know you or your ex personally and I was not at the scene to witness the whole story. But I would stay out of your ex's life as much as possible if I were you, trypilot! Yep, you did say that you were only there for your daughter's graduation and you did it for your child, but you didn't have to get involved so much after the important moments. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that it was your fault that your ex got angry, I'm just saying that don't get involved too much when unnecessary and when you can avoid it and save yourself the headache. What's going on with your ex is none of your problem as she is no longer your responsibility. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
My daughter's first graduation was from primary school. The present age of OP's daughter makes all the difference.
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RHP User
10 years ago
but if you want to be his BFF I think its crossing the line. Let your ex have her new man, you dont need to get in her way/cramp her style (unless you're a control freak and have to know all about whats going on). Be friendly for your childs sake, just dont cross the line, that's her new boyfriend, go get your own. Just my thoughts. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Nailed it. I think both sides have over reacted to the situation.
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