M44 F42
rude replys
November 17 2008
Comments
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RHP User
17 years ago
Yeah... that's going to happen because people don't like to be rejected... I suppose it is OK to ignore them after you have been gracious enough to let them have the last word. remonds me of my 16 year old daughter... if I say "Stop arguing with me and please just do as you are told" .. she will invariably reply "I am not arguing with you" and then go on to try to plead her case again..... lmfao.
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playfulminx
17 years ago
I do my best to reply to everyone even if some people are so OBVIOUSLY not what I'm looking for AND I'm not what they are looking for. I also understand the frustration of not getting replies as I write to guys and sometimes get no repsonse. However, I don't dwell on it. If they aren't going to respond then it just means they are not interested or perhaps their situation has changed and aren't seeking someone like moi. Most guys are grateful for any response and often write back again to say so. About 1 in 30 or so have a problem with their advances being politely declined and need to make an issue about it. Some are just juvenile, others seem bitter. Some have accused me of being a guy pretending to be a girl since I'm not interested in meeting them for sex LOLOLOL (For the two guys who did that, I got them to give me their phone numbers and I rang just for the fun of it. One of them was still convinced that I got my mother to talk to him...) Given that, yes... I do wonder why I bother responding sometimes but I can see how it could be a vicious cycle: Person gets no response - person gets mad - person takes it out on responder - responder no longer responds to messages :(
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RHP User
17 years ago
Some people definitely have issues taking a 'no'. Replying to flirts is a problem because there's no way to flirt back with a 'thanks but no thanks' so we generally don't reply to those if not interested. We have before and then just get hurt little messages asking why we bothered to reply if we weren't interested. Everyone has a different way of interpreting a response or the correct etiquette so it's probably best just to come up with your own policy for how to manage messages and don't worry about those who make a fuss. In any case, when they do they only confirm that you've made the correct decision to not engage them! ;)
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RHP User
17 years ago
lol yeah i didnt take their insults to heart, i found it quite amusing actually! I thought id share it with RHP members lol I usually block those kind of people straight away they are not worth it lol Thanks for all your replies it is awsome reading them hehe keep em coming...
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playfulhorse
17 years ago
there are a lot of immature people out there. I wonder what their lives must be like if they get so mad and vindictive over a rejection from someone they have never met or seen, how can they get so emotional over a simple short profile? hmm
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RHP User
17 years ago
I guess we put up a profile for a reason and that would be for people to read it first, that is why we choose to ignore messages that aren't what we're looking for so that other members don't feel rejected.... because when we have said no thanks thats when they feel most disheartened and feel they need to ask why, in saying that i think you generally get the idea where someone is coming from in there message when it reads(wow she's hot what a great arse heres my msn add me). does anybody respond to those? So sometimes letting sleeping dogs lie is the best option for us and most would understand that we live in Townsville so meeting can be hard if the contact lives in WA ....thats not saying we don't welcome visitors... it's good to have a thick skin on these sites. so in summary if we believe the contact is genuine we will respond if we don't please don't be disapointed.
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playfulhorse
17 years ago
i also wonder, if people get so offended on here with 'virtual people' (which is all we are till we actually meet) and they act like spoilt teenagers throwing a love tantrum - what are they like with actual people?
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RHP User
17 years ago
As you've said, it's childish stuff, don't fall into the trap of caring about it. They've obviously got issues.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Rejection happens to absolutely everybody in life and not just in dating/swinging but in all aspects of life. If everybody was attracted to everybody then the thrill of the chase would be very boring indeed. People are not just rejected on physical grounds but also for many other reasons. If taking thing personally is your thing then this or any other dating site is not for you.
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RHP User
17 years ago
I, like you, try to answer every message, wink that is sent to me... Regardless, I answer in time, and I can understand that some on here would get 100 if not 1000 of messages and winks... However, I look back on things like when I was Fed Cop... Could you imagine ifI failed to respond to every complainant because I was TOO busy... I am sure that the general public would be up in arms at the none response... So how long does it take to answer in one way or another???? A few seconds of your time... We are not that busy... And as for insults, well take them with a grain of salt... To me those who insult others is just a sign of their immaturity...
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RHP User
17 years ago
Depends on the person sending the message. If s/he is not what we seek at best its a short 'not interested' reply. Any rudeness is an instant BLOCK and that ends the convo. Mars
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RHP User
17 years ago
I agree, Who goes on an adult site to play with juveniles. Your not going to be a match with everyone. Or are you?
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RHP User
17 years ago
Its a pity people on these sights only look at the cover. seeing in between reveals all, I had an answer once that said "are you joking" She must've been ashamed of her own image. People be true to your profile ok, you might be missing that opportunity.
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RHP User
17 years ago
I've only had a few replies, can count em on one hand...and a couple of those were no thanks. One I messaged back with this relply 'Thanks for the reply, just wondering what makes me not your type? By your profile looks like you are after younger guys but that's the only thing I can think of.' This was to some one within 3 years of my age. She didn't bother replying to it. My original message also requested a reason if she wasn't interested. But instead I just got a reply saying I wasn't her type. THought I fitted her wants pretty well. I think its simple, if someone is rude, you block. If you reply and they abuse you then maybe you chose wisely in saying no in the first place.
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RHP User
17 years ago
I get alot of no replies myself but anyone who actually give me a reply including not interested gets another message from me saying, thanks for taking the time to reply to my message and best of luck in your search. Some people need to be a bit more considerate on this site.
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RHP User
17 years ago
For me, someone that seems to respect others profile limits, a "sorry but your not my type" is a welcome response.. Yes at times i get a bit anoyed at the lack of response, but then i think of all the childish people in the world..you know the ones, that cant take no for an answer... I must admit, i sometimes send messages to people outside my age, saying, wow, loved your profile, good luck, and normally thewy are the people that respond, because i know i am not what they are looking for.. Silly isnt it, the ones i know arent intersted are the ones who respond.. But i will say, yes it would be nicer if people responded to everyone, but i know in some cases thats impossible, so yes i guess i am sitting on the fence here.. yes i would ove a response, its only courteous, but yes i know there are some kids here too, that dont like rejection.. shit if rejection could kill, i would be dead by now haha.. To me, its like simple manners, a thank you goes a long way, but "push the point" ya fingers get burned" Why dont people treat others like they like to be treated.. hmm, sup
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RHP User
17 years ago
I've received the rudest replies from couples, by far. The female halves seem to be the worst, too.
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RHP User
17 years ago
we were to meet another cpl, but after many text msg's from them about things HE wanted to happen, and then them being hrs late for our meeting, we texted to say that we were no longer interested. It was just getting way too late. But what we didnt expect was the barrage of abuse we got on our mobile, we didnt answer it as we had lost interest, but the abuse just kept on comming. What is it with some cpl's.....They should never be on this site.
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RHP User
17 years ago
We reply to anyone that winks, if they have read our profile. We get so many that are an obvious mis match for us, especially the single guys. We look at it that if you are too illiterate to read a profile, you wont be able to read a reply anyway. But We always reply to genuine couples, even if we arent interested, as we believe this is just common manners
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RHP User
17 years ago
it's not the case of being rejected it's just asking for a polite reply or message not rude replies such as not now or ever people are human beings not dirt it's the rude replies that make people give an angry responses if you don't like a a couple or person a polite reply such as sorry we feel that we have nothing in common or you don't match what we are looking for not all are rejected as some say the saying is treat people as you would like to be treated
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RHP User
17 years ago
we are a mixed colored couple and we get rejected all the time because of it and i am sick an tiered of it . we go out off our way to me nice and get told that we are not good enough, how do thay know thay havent given us a chance and most of you guys are looking for the model type couples that are skinny and sexy well we are sexy in our own way and if everyone dont like you can go kiss my *#@%$&^ ass
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RHP User
17 years ago
hey mazjess, wow really??? colour has nothing to do with it hun k? i am asian so im tanned colour while my partner is caucasion with freckles and we havent had any troubles getting attention. I think its more about the attitude and personality of the person. Everyone has their own likes and dislikes when it comes to chooseing mates. If everyone liked everybody then it would be boring. Just because u think they r ur type doesnt mean u are theirs. Get over your self and dont go there.
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RHP User
17 years ago
I'm puzzled, you're a very attractive couple! For the record I'm not officially into couples. I've got a latent attraction to couples (mainly a desire to watch a couple in action) but it's so latent I don't actively bother doing anything about it. It's not even on my profile. Still, I do notice couples, all the time, and you two are attractive. You shouldn't give up.
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RHP User
17 years ago
sorry to hear cuddly couples and majess you have been subjected to unwelcome replies I found when I joined red hot pie I started off as a guest so got used to waiting for a message or flirt to hit my mailbox from a paid up member... now Ive been lucky and made long term friends and still regulary see some I met on this site over a year ago.... there are times of the year I cannot see anyone extra so some are still on a raincheck or a promise I have found i get very little bad mail a list of 50 blocked over 2 1/2 years by letting people message me first the other red hot pie member in this household now does the same they now have to contact him first...cheers astralwalker.
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RHP User
17 years ago
We dont get many rude replies, only one a few weeks ago when we commented that we didnt think we would hit it off as they were both heavy smokers . . they got really upset about that
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spiritfree
17 years ago
Hi, Whats worse is if you meet a person by chance off rhp who you have had fun times with in the past & they ignore a polite hello / happy christmas .
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RHP User
17 years ago
We are happy to send a curt reply to those who cannot be bothered even reading our profile. Especially single men! These people want respect from us, but get offended when we reply in the negative. They have no right to expect "respect."
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RHP User
17 years ago
It seem to be part of life these days. Rude and ignorant people with no manners or respect. Couldnt and wouldnt waste my time on them, and if they cannot acknowledge you in the street at a later date with a hello or hi, howdy. Then you know why it didnt work in the first place and you are better shot of them anyway. As for lack of reply, will if people took the time to read the profiles and were honest with themselves. They would know that the person or people in the profile is not what they are looking for in most cases. Especially if they check their age limits they are looking for. I think the worst thing that can happen to one on this site is to arrange a met and they do not turn up without leaving a message of some form. Man that has to suck big time. The finally thing that really gets my goat is if you happen to attend a party or a gathering/event for god sake keep it to yourself and leave it at the party, no one else needs to know who screwed who or who was pissed out of their tiny brain and exposed their fanny when they fill over because they didnt have nickers on. Be thank full you got a free perve. That type of gossip in the chat room is not called for nor should it be mentioned. Its call manners and respect towards other. I am bloody sure that if the tables were turn and it was you on the recieving end of that type of gossip in the chatroom you would be totally offended. In saying that their are some who couldnt give a fat fly ......... what someone said or didnt say. Bully you.
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RHP User
17 years ago
who gives a crap? if someone doesn't reply, just move on. Life is too short to worry about petty things such as that.
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RHP User
17 years ago
we get a lot of non replies, must be because we are guests. We certainly don't get upset over it. We also have to admit that we do forget to check this site regularly but when we do we always send of a reply. Regards
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RHP User
17 years ago
I've had plenty that haven't been answered to but its no skin off my nose but I do reply to messages sent to me.(I need all the contact I can get lol) But on profiles...I'd rather read a profile that says what the ppl are after,I've never found them offensive or felt rejected by them..better to find out strait up than waste anyones time but in a similar vein are the ones that asked to be unblocked in the chat rooms and when their request is rejected out comes a torrent of abuse which just shows them up for what they really are and why they were blocked in the first place.
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RHP User
17 years ago
Well, I don't reply to all messages. I don't have time for those who can't read my profile and be like, "Yup, this girl says CLEARLY that she isn't interested in me." So I ignore.
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RHP User
17 years ago
we get rude responses from younger guys who just wont be told they are too young for us. we don't want nor do we need to be playing with guys who are the age of our children (oldest is late 20's) and have no problem telling people this respectfully at all times. this quite often ends up with comments like 'I'm older than i look' or,'i really am very mature for my age". the latest responded with comments like "emotional retards" and the like. what ever happened to respect for elders and women?
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RHP User
17 years ago
mikeandshel we mean this as a compliment. The problem may be your photos look REALLY HOT!!!!! you look 20- ish well done !!!!! They are only terribly upset hotties like yourself are turning them down. Still NO reason to be rude! Ok got to go back and look at your photos again. Ouch they are hot. mmmm
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RHP User
17 years ago
I think part of the problem is that there just aren't any viable options to reply to flirts with a no thanks. It would be nice to see some more useful replies than the sweetness and light options currently available: (1) The short answer is no. The long answer is NOOOOOOOOO. (2) Its not me its you. (3) You didn't actually read my profile, huh? ... my personal favourite... (2) I hate long goodbyes, so fuck off.
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RHP User
17 years ago
It totally depends on the message or flirt as to whether or not I reply. If it's rude or crass...I ignore it. If it's witty or funny...I will reply and I will usually reply if it sounds genuine, even if it is to say 'thanks but no thanks'. I wish RHP would give us a quick reply wink that just said "thanks, nice of you to say" or something similar. The wink "I just wanted to say I loved your profile" is one I would send a thank you wink back to.
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RHP User
17 years ago
When we did have paid membership we had sent out alot of messages about 1 out of about 12 emails would be replied and maybe 1 out of 20 winks replied. If the paying members go out of their way to purchase membership and send a msg if you regardless if you are a non paying member or member, reply its just down right rude and not to mention arrogant. Your not better than the people that dont reply to your winks msgs etc... We both have got into the habit of thanking people who reply to us! It is a continual thing, but to all the people out there that we have sent msgs to and you have replied THANK YOU. In response to insults and what not that;s just school yard, we are adults not kids. Our thoughts. Bris87.
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RHP User
17 years ago
maybe rhp should make a flirt reply u could send thats just says thankyou but no thanks
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RHP User
17 years ago
What an interesting post. We do try to respond to all messages or flirts ourselves even if to advise a polite no thanks. With regards to rude replies, we've even recieved rude and abusive messages from people we've never contacted because they didnt like the fact we are specific in our profile for what we are looking for. Unfortunately, you just need to ignore this sort of juvenile behaviour because its always there in some form or other. But to answer the question posed by 2-4-3, our personal preference is to recieve a polite response to u r messages, even if its a no. At least we then know it has been recieved and read.
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RHP User
17 years ago
What someone doesnt appeal to us and we respond with a polite thanks but no thanks and then we get abuse back, it just helps my justification in regecting them in the first place. Or then if when you meet have the honesty to say 'im not that into you' instead of wasting everyones time...
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RHP User
17 years ago
we try to reply to as amny as we can. but really who has the time. i can say i have never had a rude reply though. thankfully cause i would most likly send an even ruder reply back lol
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RHP User
17 years ago
We must be too fat and ugly lol. No one from rhp has ever been rude to us. As for an unreplied flirt or message, yes we agree there should be a wider selection of flirt replies. Sometimes it has nothing to do with looks.... sometimes it has everthing to do with the fact that the profile pics have been taken in the toilet or the loungeroom....with 6 weeks of ironing in the background lol.
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RHP User
17 years ago
It's an unfortunate fact of life that some people can't take rejection gracefully. Saying no thanx you aren't what we are looking for, to some people is just a reason to fire up and abuse people. it's sad really, but you just have to think if you didn't see the abuse via email now what happens if you meet them in person and reject them?
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RHP User
17 years ago
I'm alongside the Fordies ;-) Get a life people. If you message them & they dont reply it means they dont like your profile. If they give you the honour of a reply then take it as written. This site is for fun, well adjusted people, not socially unaware people. If you cannot interact with people IRL then dont try it here we say.
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RHP User
17 years ago
We got our 1st rude reply....we were chatting and they just went off line ...no nothing So we sent a message saying thats very rude! Should have seen the response....It only confirmed to us ....lucky we didnt meet. These things have a way of sorting out compatable meetings!
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