F68
this is a story about a man
August 23 2013
Comments
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RHP User
12 years ago
He should seek happiness. DG- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
Should he accept that he has never made more of his marriage than he could?
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RHP User
12 years ago
He should talk to his wife about it, I'm sure they're more than adult enough to have a sensible discussion about it. From the family perspective, I'm glad my parents separated after 33 years of marriage. They're both much happier and free to explore whatever they want now. Their happiness is far more important than staying together just for the family's sake.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Sit down with his wife and tell her of his struggle, tell her exactly what he wants to share with her and only her ... she may be wanting the very same thing but not have the words, the courage, the opportunity, to tell him.It may not work but at least she would not be left wondering why, what, when ...
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RHP User
12 years ago
I much prefer the word could. He could also just talk to his wife openly and honestly (like grown ups do) and face the truth of their situation with her. He might find that she longs for this as well, and that her heart has been breaking in various ways for the past 20 years. He might find that together they can reconnect and they can discover all of those joys in each other. He might find she's completely, perfectly and absolutely OK with him fulfilling his sexual desires outside of their marriage. I don't believe he can honour their 40 years together by now choosing to lie and be deceitful, especially when he hasn't explored the option of simply being honest. Honesty takes real courage at times. If I was his wife is absolutely want him to show this courage.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Mayb he should just pay for someone to explore with - if he still luvs his wife why should he leave her after this long - she could b feeling exactly the same way and doesnt know how to express it to him. My mum was hurt by her partner of 30 years - they hadnt had sex for 15 years of their relationship due to meds he was on - then he turned around and left her for one of her friends that had been chatting to him about her life - seems the grass always seems to b greener - mayb hes just infatuated with your lifestyle.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Would he hurt his wife and children more by leaving, or by having them find out he is having an affair? Which would be the bigger destroyer of trust, love and respect?
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RHP User
12 years ago
Why has he never been able to communicate with his wife about how he feels?That would be where I would start.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Ditch the bitch..... :) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
This is the story for many males.We cant make this decision for him.....he only can.He will hurt her anyway, by walking out or by speaking out or by taking a lover, he has to decide can he stay with his hurt too, maybe he can, he did it already for so long is like a blanket around him. he is lonely, loveless and hurt in his marriage, but he is used to it.I don't know whether I am right in this.I have a question.Would women stay this long in a sexless marriage as men do? I don't believe it, I think women are more ruthless in walking out when something doesnt feel right, but I could be wrong.men never want to rock the boat......why is this?
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RHP User
12 years ago
I went to my dads funeral two years ago. And as I came from a town and a business family we had around 250 people attending.Most of them I know since I am a little child, now I live here in Australia and some I haven't seen for many many years. As I went around to shake hands and talk to many I looked around me. Most people have been in there 70th and 80th and my mind went ohh God, so many are sick and fragile suffer from Alzheimer and other sickness......and here I am with 55 what is left of my life and having good sex.....maybe 15 years? Maybe 20, thats a blink of an eye.So should we not live and enjoy every little bit of this beautiful sex and sensual feeling what is left, because the reality is it could be over tomorrow.I went home with a good set of thoughts......I will love and have sex with men i feel connected with, I will shout it to the world....I will embrace sexuality until my last breath.....and no one not my children not my friends not my mother or anybody can stop me embracing this beautiful feeling what sex gives me.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I'm guessing she's never had an orgasm. It's never too late to start wooing your wife.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Very hard to answer and seeing a hooker is no good. If it was me I would take the wife to get counselling then if that does not work try to have a affair that has mutual understanding of the situation as woman around that age are around.
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RHP User
12 years ago
To deviate for one moment some people like no better than to be climbing a mountain and the more arduous it is the better others could not think of anything worse. The reality is that we are all different and even when you explain they still don't appreciate the significance or lack of balance in your own internal set of scales. So although others say you should discuss and be open this can have just the same result as having an affair without discussing because once it is out there it can never be retracted and she will always be watching and assuming the worst even when you goto the hardware store. I would suggest incremental steps a close freind even if you don't fuck them can be a very positive and uplifting experience. In the end though you should only go where you can handle the heat based upon your conviction as to what is important to you.- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
It could of been an arranged marriage and never into her truly. It could be that back then you married more for starting a family than contemplating the importance of sex in a relationship? Does he have to find a lover or can he get pampered by a younger woman's touch at a brothel maybe every now and again?- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
12 years ago
with poppins and paint me.Anyway the past is the past and he can't undo it, the first steps on this new journey are an open sit down cards on the table chat with her.Her complacent comfortable life is death by a thousand cuts for him, but does she care ? He needs to know her mind, he needs to know if she will help or hinder. There is a huge potential for catastrophic failure if badly managed, I would suggest professional help or management.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Hi! Freya:) I hope you're well.:) This unfortunately isn't unusual I've found a number of Mature Guys in the same situation coming to say Hi! ..It is a very big decision to make that's for sure and one they can't use their cock in making that choice.. I always find out the story what's with their Relationship situation .Why, what's going on between them. If I feel they sincerely Want their Relationship and not just to get their rocks off but their need for Sex is getting in the way Then I have helped them out on occasion not fully as Lovers I feel that's his Wife's right but everything except coitus. I share how do woo his Wife etc. Finally let go when things are going well between them. I'm very happy to say that I've helped save several Marrages in this way .. Sadly often it has to do with his self esteem being low from Life crisis usually work so he pushes for more sex to feel good about himself as he can always do that right. His Wife at this time is usually MenoP and not as Interested in sex and has either always had a Low sex drive or made a Life for herself with other Interests, so it's not a good situation.. If This Man Loves his Wife, wishes to remain in their Relationship. Then I suggest he talk to his Wife and get her Permission . However that can back fire. So in that case I feel either visiting a Prostitute, Pay for what he needs, no emotions as such to get in the way . .or seeks a Woman who's wanting more from her Partner but it's not happening.. This way it's a win win, both have as much to lose, so neither is likely to rock the boat so too speak. It's imperative that they understand the boundaries so no one gets Hurt, it becomes Toxic otherwise.. Seek a Woman who doesn't live in Neighboring suburbs, all the better if a different town or far enough away that he's not rubbing his affair in his Wife's face, Friends etc finding him with another Woman by accident.. Have a separate credit card so he can draw out cash or pay with his card when he spoils her a little ie take her to Dinner.It only shows on that card not the joint 1. If he can have a separate phone then the Woman can ring him on that not one his Wife may pick up.. I'm not condoning him being a Liar and cheat but I am suggesting he thinks very carefully and saves His Wife as much hurt and respect what they have by not being careless.. On saying that .Then he had better treat his Wife as the Special Woman she is and woo her too, so she knows he sees her as a Woman he wants to be with .. Seeking elsewhere with the right Female will allow his sexual frustration to take a backseat, instead of being a wall that's harming his Relationship with his Wife.. I hope it works out for all the Guys in this situation ..Cheers Lu :)
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Litonya' This is the story for many males.We cant make this decision for him.....he only can.He will hurt her anyway, by walking out or by speaking out or by taking a lover, he has to decide can he stay with his hurt too, maybe he can, he did it already for so long is like a blanket around him. he is lonely, loveless and hurt in his marriage, but he is used to it.I don't know whether I am right in this.I have a question.Would women stay this long in a sexless marriage as men do? I don't believe it, I think women are more ruthless in walking out when something doesnt feel right, but I could be wrong.men never want to rock the boat......why is this?They are scared of being alone? They don't cope as well. Don't they say married men live longer than single men .... but single women live longer than their married sisters.
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RHP User
12 years ago
I don't understand it, How does someone let 20 years go by? As my friends tell me you have never been in a long term relationship let alone married for 20 years so you don't know. Which is true.................But I don't get why people pussy foot around? Speak up and say you are not happy. This can not continue in this way. I am not satisfied. Instead, how many men don't really tell their wives how they feel, then they end up on RHP and cheating. SPEAK UP, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOUR BALLS??So without knowing why they sex stopped it is hard to say where the sympathy really should be. With him or the wife. But it is indeed a sad story.
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RHP User
12 years ago
He should have done something about it before they got to 60! It seems unfair on his wife to put the blame of their mundane sexlife on her. I wonder what the other side of the story would sound like about the woman who stuck with her husband despite him never giving her an orgasm.
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RHP User
12 years ago
what 'should' he do? deal with it like a man...... honestly and openly, and be as respectful as possible towards his partner, his children and to his grandchildren.....and respectful doesn't include sneaking around with someone else, or telling lies, being manipulative, or indulging in infidelities....... if leaving is the only way to achieve happiness, then thats the option to take...will he hurt his partner? his children? his grandchildren?...well yea, there will be some hurt, but people adjust, and whatever upheaval that causes, would be a damn sight easier to contend with than opting to begin an affair....and betraying every single member of his family as a consequence.and thats hurtful, selfish and hateful ground to explore....as Meeka says...20 years? what was he doing about it for 20 years? if there's a problem and its gone on this long, its because of complacency and neglect, and hes as culpable as she is....relationships are a two way street after all......
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Tall74nHard9
12 years ago
"If I was his wife I absolutely want him to show his courage". Snuggle Pot - I'm sure if you were in such a relationship you wouldn't be waiting 20 minutes, let alone 20 years. You would make sure EXACTLY what you want in very clear terms.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' They are scared of being alone? They don't cope as well. Don't they say married men live longer than single men .... but single women live longer than their married sisters. I seriously doubt this man would be able to leave and function without his wife, they have been married for an eternity. Even if he did whose to say he would be able to find a partner and satisfy her.As Slickz said what about said wife who may never have received an orgasm from him?? Whos to say he can give a woman one. I do concern myself with their lack of intimacy but yes it has gone on for so long......what should he do.....He needs to speak to his life partner...He's dreaming and so is everyone if he thinks happiness is SEX away.Sex is great but as I am sure this man knows it is not our entire life or day, especially after 40 years.And sex with a prostitute will not give him intimacy.
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RHP User
12 years ago
he should have had this conversation with his wife 19 years ago.
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madotara69
12 years ago
go buy a ninja suit.
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RHP User
12 years ago
Yep, I'm pretty feisty and clear about what I think of things generally. But I lived in a sexless marriage for 10 years before I realised I deserved better. Just because someone's not saying something doesn't mean they're not hurting, nor does it mean they're not entitled to respect and honesty.
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Tall74nHard9
12 years ago
Quoting 'snuggle__pot'Yep, I'm pretty feisty and clear about what I think of things generally. But I lived in a sexless marriage for 10 years before I realised I deserved better. Just because someone's not saying something doesn't mean they're not hurting, nor does it mean they're not entitled to respect and honesty. I didn't picture you as the sorta girl who would wait that long to let a fella know he needs to pick up his game. Sorry to hear to got the raw deal too as well as the subject. Absolutely agree with your sentiments hun - nobody should be caught in that type of situation. Everyone deserves honesty and respect in a relationship.
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RHP User
12 years ago
...but you may enjoy whatever you have.
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