treat them mean..keep em' keen?

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I witnessed this strange occurance over the years.. Girl gets treated like crap yet she cant help but become even more attracted to the guy.Sadly' the end result is a total lack of respect for the girl which more than often leads to some sort of sad conclusion.Not saying this is true in all cases but it certainly leaves the girl to being vunerable to say the least.What drives these girls to persevere like this is a mystery.. Surely ' if you know someone is treating you like crap listen to the alarm bells and get out ??I have no respect for these stand over men anyway.. Usually end up women beaters.. Mr JJ

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Treat me mean I'm not keen. No way woman need confidence in themselves to realize you deserve better.No respect no manners no way. I'd rather be with an ugly man who treats me right.Some poor woman are attracted to them....stand over pigs leave em.He raises his hand he'll do it again.He treats you like crap he'll keep doing it.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Hmm, the age old "why do chicks dig assholes" question... probably something to do with the fact that many women find confidence, assertiveness and authority attractive. These things aren't bad in themselves, but taken to an extreme (and minus respect and empathy) and you can get an asshole. Most of us are seduced by the delusion's of what 'could be'... guy's will put up with a ton of shit from a girl with a sexy face and figure too. Adding to the fun are the player's (M & F) who are consciously or unconsciously aware of this dynamic and exploit it to keep someone hanging on against their better judgement: when nobody is looking they throw out just enough encouragement to make the other keep thinking, "maybe, just maybe..." or even worse, "it's me, if only I was just a little better at being what they wanted..."Simple Litmus test: if you spend most of your time feeling bad, uncertain and unhappy because of another person, it's natures way of saying 'move on'.But in this case, it's probably just youthful lust. She should just do him already and get it out of her system.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  And it can stem from a few things. For example if you're told you're not allowed to eat a cheeseburger, what do you think the first thing you're going to crave is? yep, cos you can't have you bloody well want it LOL. And also from the need to be accepted and loved, these girls can't understand why he treats them this way, "why doesn't he love me like I love him"? they do anything in their power to please him and the result is still the same. It's a reverse psychology thing for both things. Some women are strong enough to realise early on and make the move to break away, but more common are the ones who get totally wrapped up in the end goal that they lose 'themself' along the way in the effort. Sad, but it's a reality and we're taught from an early age that nothing worth achieving will come easily, great to get a lazy bones motivated but not so great because we end up applying it to everything. Given a chance with a sweet , respectful and loving man, we think "ahhhh too easy, this can't be right"

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I am all for a bit of mischief and fun, ie the "bad boy", but if someone is a disrespectful jerk, they are gone! Hasta la vista, sayonara, ondelle ondelle yee ha! lol!Why spend your time with a jerk when there are plenty of nice ones out there!!!!

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I think it's important for your lover to appreciate that it's a game you're playing, otherwise you're just another arsehole.HugsStalky

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  good to hear all perspectives on this

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  It has always been the case. Part of it is the fact that we all like what we cannot have. As teenagers it can have an added thrill that we know our parents would not approve, possible shock value from girlfriends...."you are going out with who?.....Nooooooo!" As we get older and a relationship begins to develop, many of these guys that treat their wives or girlsfriends are control freaks. It begins slowly and is insidious. You dont wake up one morning and find that you are doing everything in your power to keep someone happy, or that you no longer see your friends or family and are isolated from everyone except this mongrel of a guy. Slowly, bit by bit, over a period of years usually, this person who says he loves you erodes your self confidence. It is such a slow process that you are not even aware of it happening. Oh yes, everyone else can see it but you. This man loves you so obviously he is right. He only wants what is best for you and that is why he tells you you are ugly, fat, stupid etc. I mean if he doesnt tell you these thins, no one else will. Clearly! If you get told these things, no matter how untrue they are, for a long time, a part of you actually belives it. Apathy sets in and you really dont deserve any better anyway so why bother? Why go to the hairdressers or bother to put on makeup? Why change out of the old tracky daks? After all, you havent got what it takes to make a real man happy anyway. And then one day he hits you. BUT he didnt mean it, he is sorry and the makeup sex is great. It wont happen again, you deserved it and it was all your fault. You should never have pushed him like that. l Often women in this situation are just too scared to leave. They think they have no option and threats are made against those they love. They have no money and no where to go. The man they are involved with has said he will kill them or thier kids and they believe him. l It is never as easy as just walking away.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  PLEASE.....someone slap, slap, slap me! I fall under this category of female form who tries her very, nicest best to want a particular arse to date her! I know its wrong, I can do better and I def want someone with a personality ...but I keep hoping one day they will stop and smell the roses.... but even roses have thorns :-S (All slaps will be taken into account) A

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  I don't believe this quote is actually about being mean in a ruthless way. Its more of a seduction technique. It's playing hard-to-get, giving a little chase. It does work, think about someone you have been attracted to who would seem unattainable or giving you mixed signals and how you were forced to control your desire. People want what they can't have and if you give in too nice, too easy, are too keen or try too hard then you might find yourself not as desirable. Teasing is to give and then take away (which is the mean part!). A majority of women, for sexual purposes, seem to be attracted to the Alpha male, whom would commonly use this technique.When done properly, it can be irresistible!

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Quoting 'Schroedinger' Hmm, the age old "why do chicks dig assholes" question... probably something to do with the fact that many women find confidence, assertiveness and authority attractive. These things aren't bad in themselves, but taken to an extreme (and minus respect and empathy) and you can get an asshole. Most of us are seduced by the delusion's of what 'could be'... guy's will put up with a ton of shit from a girl with a sexy face and figure too. Adding to the fun are the player's (M & F) who are consciously or unconsciously aware of this dynamic and exploit it to keep someone hanging on against their better judgement: when nobody is looking they throw out just enough encouragement to make the other keep thinking, "maybe, just maybe..." or even worse, "it's me, if only I was just a little better at being what they wanted..."Simple Litmus test: if you spend most of your time feeling bad, uncertain and unhappy because of another person, it's natures way of saying 'move on'.But in this case, it's probably just youthful lust. She should just do him already and get it out of her system. Great explanation.It's important to respect others' ideal balance too: just as many of us were conditioned by witnessing our parents' money troubles to value financial security and a "Good Job" above immediate happiness, someone raised in a violent area might value having a highly dominant partner to protect them more than they value a partner they can chat with - especially if they have a supportive group of friends to fill that niche! More generally I don't think happiness is a good benchmark for whether a relationship is a good one; there is a satisfaction that transcends all emotion and it takes a lot of self-awareness to know how you really feel. If you feel sure that your friend is being hurt, talk to her about it: if she tells you to stay out of it then you're probably either overreacting to him or overestimating how close you are to her.

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  RHP User

  15 years ago

  Well, I have to admit, that I put up with a relationship with a man for 18 months only because the sex was fabulous. In bed, he was unbelievable... out of bed, he was a pig. He was terrible to me and other women. He had no idea how to treat women and was a real jerk. And the only reason I stayed with him at the time was for the great sex unbelievable sex. But I think he knew he was good in bed and could get the women like that, so felt he had the power over women to treat them mean and even a bit abusive in his words and actions, because he knew they would always come back for more good sex. And he only used women for sex. But helloooo.... that's all I used him for too... haha... sorry to say. Anyway, time went on, and I realized I didn't have to be treated that way, and great sex or no great sex, it was time for me to leave him and move on. I realized after 18 months of sexual bliss, I preferred men who treated me well, but I wouldn't stoop to men treating me well but having lousy sex. So, I don't think women want to swing from one side to the other. I mean I wouldnt stand for a man treating me well outside of the bedroom, but the sex was lousy either. It has to be a balance. I have to say, that this man still has no significant woman in his life, and he is very miserable. And so he should be...

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Quoting 'MissSuziWong' I am all for a bit of mischief and fun, ie the "bad boy", but if someone is a disrespectful jerk, they are gone! Hasta la vista, sayonara, ondelle ondelle yee ha! lol!Why spend your time with a jerk when there are plenty of nice ones out there!!!!yes, i have always been a bit nasty to girls and a smartass to them, and it has 'mostly' worked, but am always 'fairly' respectful.. even though maria would probably say otherwise..i enjoy having the fun and cheeky comments with them, but do not agree with the bashing them. Quoting 'minxyjinxy86' PLEASE.....someone slap, slap, slap me! I fall under this category of female form who tries her very, nicest best to want a particular arse to date her! and minxy, when you gonna get ur butt over to our place so i can show you just how it should be spanked?

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Totally correct you seem to know all about the tease thing etc.teach me..... Ha

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  I think Redcoquette is on the same page as I am with this one, as I too took the op to be talking about seduction. Put into the context of RHP.Many women seem to be inundated with messages from guys that want their attention. Some of these guys, message and call an text and chat and are there all the time. Then someone comes along who is interested sure but no where near as available and for some reason that is the one you have to have! Grrr what the hell is with that? I do it, I don't know why. Maybe it for the challenge, or just because it is different to what I am used to. What ever it is, it is all fun and games on here though I often wonder sometimes if the hard to get ones are really playing a game or if they are just doing there thing and totally unaware.xxSalina Quoting 'redcoquette' I don't believe this quote is actually about being mean in a ruthless way. Its more of a seduction technique. It's playing hard-to-get, giving a little chase. It does work, think about someone you have been attracted to who would seem unattainable or giving you mixed signals and how you were forced to control your desire. People want what they can't have and if you give in too nice, too easy, are too keen or try too hard then you might find yourself not as desirable. Teasing is to give and then take away (which is the mean part!). A majority of women, for sexual purposes, seem to be attracted to the Alpha male, whom would commonly use this technique.When done properly, it can be irresistible!

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Quoting 'D_G_T' And it can stem from a few things. For example if you're told you're not allowed to eat a cheeseburger, what do you think the first thing you're going to crave is? yep, cos you can't have you bloody well want it LOL. And also from the need to be accepted and loved, these girls can't understand why he treats them this way, "why doesn't he love me like I love him"? they do anything in their power to please him and the result is still the same. It's a reverse psychology thing for both things. Some women are strong enough to realise early on and make the move to break away, but more common are the ones who get totally wrapped up in the end goal that they lose 'themself' along the way in the effort. Sad, but it's a reality and we're taught from an early age that nothing worth achieving will come easily, great to get a lazy bones motivated but not so great because we end up applying it to everything. Given a chance with a sweet , respectful and loving man, we think "ahhhh too easy, this can't be right" I know so many women who have gone down this path. Now I do like a little bit of a bad boy and he must definately be a rat bag.....but dont treat me mean I really dont like it and there are too many lovely men out there for me to waste my time on the jerks.

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  I get the point of getting whats so different. I really get it, but what r u gonna be left with afterwards? Another set of memories that will dissolve like snowflakes on a sunny day? Its sort of a test I think. The ones who r not strong enough to see the real nature of it - u forget abt. Just let those butterflys fly for a while. I know u gonna say stuff like emotions/heart/challenge and that sort of shit u r always on abt, but believe me Sal nth beats real connection. I mean things like when u see a bitch and time stops. U just want to be there. Period. And u both talk :_)

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  I am really speaking for myself, and I am only talking about play and RHP, heart and emotion does not really play a part in all that for me, I am simply looking for fun so all that shit I am usually on about does not really apply here:)I really wanted to respond to this topic without sounding too far up my own a@#$ but the truth is the challenge makes a nice change from having it handed to you on a platter. Plus, it is an ego thing....why if that person, and that person and that person over there want me is this person so hard for me to get?....As a seduction technique ofcourse it works, I do it sometimes too though I should add, never in a mean mind game kind of way and I certainly would not tease if I did not intend on following through..You know, not everything has to be deep and meaningful and analysed until the life and fun are sapped right out of it. We all like simple pleasures and guilty indulgences, this is one for me.xx Salina

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  If I were a man and I saw a bitch I would hope she was on a leash so I could have a head start as I turn and get the hell out of there quick smart....A woman though? That may be worth sticking around for :)xx Salina

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  This type of dynamic in relationships is more likely an immature mode of partnership. ESP in teenage relationships. Just treat them without expectation. Being mean to anyone is easy, being kind generous takes a lot more imagination.

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  RHP User

  14 years ago

  Quoting 'MrandMrsErotic'This type of dynamic in relationships is more likely an immature mode of partnership. ESP in teenage relationships. Just treat them without expectation. Being mean to anyone is easy, being kind generous takes a lot more imagination. Aman to that. Case closed.

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