M58

what is a real friend?....

October 22 2009

I do a lot of driving and I was wondering “what makes a real friend?” and it got me thinking about my life up to now and I wanted to share some thoughts with you. To me a real friend is someone who I have a connection with. Either an emotional connection or an intimate one. Now, let me clarify this. I had a short relationship with a delightful woman, and even though she is now attached (and very happy) we still share a very strong link. We met the other day for a coffee and I ended up giving her a massage because she had a sore neck and back. Now it is really hard to give a proper massage to someone through their jumper, their t-shirt and their bra, so I took her jumper off, lifted her t-shirt up high, unclipped her bra and massaged her. Yeah, I’m a bit cheeky and my hands did wander a bit (giggles), she had to point out that her breasts were fine, but what gave me real pleasure was the trust she had in me and the closeness I feel with her…that’s an intimate friend. I feel closer to a lot of people on here than I do in my working and social life…it's because they touch me on an emotional level...I think it is because I admire someone who says what they think regardless of the outrage it might engender…by being outlandish, yeah, that’s u Gazza and to a lesser extent timtam, someone who really tickles my funnybone, miss_honey, a lady on her kanga with pink fluffy dice…and there are plenty others as well…and I thought if they were in real need then I would seriously try and find a way to help them…hmm…this ain’t coming out right, never mind, I’m sure you get the drift and if you don’t…well, how does someone explain the deliciousness of chocolate, huh? One thing being on this site has made me see, is the bulls**t which we live with in society, and how it is refreshing to see it swept aside here…oh, and another thing…just received a friend invite from this lovely looking lady…checked her out, she only has 1499 friends!!!...lucky girl…so I sent her an email asking what bonus did I get for being her 1500th…no answer yet…lol Cheers Jose...

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RHP User

16 years ago

So, during this massage Jose.... did you put your pants back on first or simply rub her back through the gap in that leather tool bag?? hehe. And keep flattering me like that and I'll take to you with a sponge bath... hehe. yum. The idea of a bromance was also raised in on eof SalAndy's (Andy) post. My oldest "friend".. or rather, the friend I've known the longest, around 44 years, is completely untrustworthy. Loves to gossip... uses intimate knowledge of me against me I guess because he feels insecure, so I can tell him nothing personal. Well, I have to say I'm so completely over people like that. Who needs enemies when you have friends like that, huh? I do meet the best people on line. Team players.. lol. People who despite adversity love living and do it gracefully with style and flair and a sense for wicked fun. hehe. This community is like that. Lots of truly genuine people when you look, but none more so that you, Jose. Sure there are a few freaks as well..... hehe... but you can't just walk into a pub or somewhere this afternoon and expect to bump into a person with whom you connect instantly... so RHP's advantage is that it makes the world smaller for like minded people to meet. It's hard to know if someone is like minded just from reading a profile... and that's why I enjoy this forum so much!! Some people here, well I feel like I know really well even though we've never met. Lots of hugs Gazza

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RHP User

16 years ago

Real friends are those who are there for you when you really need them. Most of all, they tear away your illusions when you need it and slam you with the truth, whether you like it or not.

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RHP User

16 years ago

Spot on gohkm! Could not agree more. Especially about telling you the truth even if it hurts. Have lost two that way, but thats how you tell them apart. Btw people, if you really want to find out who your REAL friends are- test them. Make up sth and see what happens... Hopefully they will pass. Words are cheap, see what they do!!! You never know - one day you might need someone who you can rely on... Harsh ? No doubt, but i stand by it.

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Almost_Ready

16 years ago

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RHP User

16 years ago

Real friends care about your well being, they'll listen to your crap but if you're hurting yourself with it they will speak up. True friends are closer than family as they choose to make you important to their life.Nice topic comeandgetme but I would say pushing the boundaries of harmless flirting with a friend you care about if her partner would not like it I would see as overstepping the mark. Of course it's hard to comment not knowing the whole scope of your relationship. I too have a very close friend who was an ex, I love the closeness we can share without any sexual frustration as we've already been there. It's nice to have the trust with her and also with my partner who knows all the luscious details and accepts our relationship as true friends. I look at my true friends as family and definitely feel closer to them than many of my blood.Aww Gaz, ditch the old rubbish, longer is definitely not better in this case. With two of my closest bro's, one is my oldest friend and one is very recent but I love and trust them both as brothers and there are very few people in between that I hold with such high regard. There seems to be a certain chemistry with my true friends that I've known the instant I have met them and the friendships flow effortlessly although at times can be very testing.I think as a whole, people tend to be dishonest with themselves and don't portray their real selves and therefore miss out on meeting the people that could be part of their family.Enough deep crap, Gaz show us ya nuts!

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RHP User

16 years ago

Years before the internet pen pals were very big. It is only the technology that has changed.

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RHP User

16 years ago

Accept you for who you are and do not judge you.

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RHP User

16 years ago

This reminds me of that old joke.......a friend will come and bail you out if you ever get arrested......a real friend will be in the cell with you giggling about the stupid drunken thing you both did to get arrested in the first place. H xx

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RHP User

16 years ago

I have been in various service occupations, mainly to do with emergency and rescue. We are a team, we are taught to work as a team, regardless if we have differences. We respect, trust, encourage and support each other. We know each other inside and out, that words don't even need to be spoken sometimes. We back each other, look out for each other, and hold each other up when we fall. Not one of us is better then each other, our success is as a whole not as an individual.Sure, we have days, when we could tear each others throats out, kick lockers in the change room, say things that may hurt, all to be forgotten an hour later, when they're holding your lifeline, as your dangling in the air. We do get on each others nerves a bit, especially if we are tired or under pressure, but we know, its like a secret code or something. We know when to back off, what words to say or when to say nothing at all, and when to dish out a good kick in the pants! We are real mates, where nothing is too much or too hard, we will always be there in and out of work. It is hard to explain the bond. I have spoken to others on RHP that are in similar fields, and they feel the same way. I don't know if it is the experiences that we share, and some of the stuff we have to deal with or see that sort of unites us in a way, or if we just had this shoved down our throats, or we had these values before. Sometimes even partners don't have the same connection as our bond, and even get jealous of what we have. Jose makes another good point regarding it being on an emotional level and the connection that one has. Similar to my work and the emotional things we deal with bringing us together, is also the way two strangers can connect, of course a different emotional experience. Perhaps with some it is just identifying who has a big heart, or similar values that you possess or admire in someone that makes you bond. Regardless of the way, or means that a real friendship forms and progresses, it is a special thing and a gift to be cherished.What a lovely thread Jose, but then ya is a lovely guy. Do ya want a dinky on me Kanga?xx Miss Honey xx <<< off to find another stack hat

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RHP User

16 years ago

"What a wretched lot of old shrivelled creatures we shall be by-and-by. Never mind--the uglier we get in the eyes of others, the lovelier we shall be to each other; that has always been my firm faith about friendship" I can't put it better than Mr. Eliot so I won't try :P

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RHP User

16 years ago

Effortless...true friendships are effortless. My bestie once said to me that 'what comes from the heart is no effort at all' and that is so true! I have to say that I have been very blessed with all the true friends I have in my life - both 'day to day' and 'cyber'. Never a day goes by when I don't feel loved, accepted and supported for just being me. Rock_n_Rolla...I actually use that exact analogy to explain my friendships that were made online. It's funny how a lot of people are quick to judge a friendship made online as being 'fake', yet through writing, we've been developing friendships with people we've never 'met' for generations! I have met both my best friend online a few years ago on a parenting forum and have also met another 'kindred spirit' friend recently through RHP... with both of them, the moment we started talking it was all just so 'effortless'... like we'd known each other forever!

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what is a real friend?....

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