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boobsandbusted

boobsandbusted

M57 F51

when have your best laid sexy plans gone hilariously wrong

October 20 2017

We have many, but here's a start ,imagine a honeymoon on the barrier reef ,as part of our package we got an afternoon on a remote private beach to ourselves (apparently ) we get dropped off by boat ,didn't take long to find out broken coral is not for walking on barefoot ouch ouch ouch as we look for our spot with a lovely picnic hamper full of yummy food ,picked our spot, out go the towels ,time for fun ,no one is around ,guaranteed remoteness ,off come the clothes and start honeymoon activities ,within a minute my butt cheeks my legs and back are being eaten alive by huge angry march flys ,topped off with a low level pass by a helicopter taking tourist around for a scenic tour ,grrrrrrrr fuck, ok lets go for a nude swim in the lovely water , jump in and let the current pull us down the beach ,felt awesome ,nice warm clear water,around the bend we go ,fuck there's 3 boats with people fishing ,and we have to get out cos we are a km from our spot by now and there' now boatloads of people ,we start to run back to our picnic spot ,this is before swinging and nude beach days where now would own it and laugh ,but then ,so not funny ,with the people in the boat woof whistling and laughing ,when we realise around the bend wasn't a straight forward walk back cos the tree and rocks went out the point, so through the scrub we have to climb cos trying to walk on broken coral sand and rocks as we found out early led to bleedy feet and toes ,can anyone hear mrs b yelling at mr b ,, whos stupid idea was it to go for a nudey swim ,so we high tail into the scrub and do the walk of shame back ,to find while we were gone ,some god damned bush turkeys have ransacked the hamper and pissed off with our food and goodies ,oh did i mention, i was still itchy like a mongrel from march fly bites,was so over it by the time the boat came to get us ,we were so happy to be going back to the hotel room ,btw same trip as mrs b sprayed me straight in the eyeball with sunblock on a moving boat ,blurry vision for hours ,i do not miss the barrier reef ,lmao ps sorry for typos,gramma and spelling mistakes ,you all know it's not my strong point on a mobile phone ,just thought a laugh at the end of the week would be good for all - Posted from rhpmobile

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Comments

  • teejaylongsword

    teejaylongsword

    8 years ago

    Great story OP. It was great that you were able to share so that we could all have a laugh. Nice way to begin the weekend

    reply

  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    That's a bit of a hard act to follow 😂😂 all looked good on paper hey? 😁 I've been casting my mind back trying to recall any fails. Nothing to speak of unless you count waking up near a campfire in the morning with guy from group of friends stepping over me. Coming out of my coma, vaguely heard him say must have been a good night, then realised I was naked lol this is years ago. Unfortunately I don't remember what happened. My last memory was talking to two extra guys who joined us at the campfire Damn I'd love to know what happened 😊

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  • Hottie1

    Hottie1

    8 years ago

    Went horribly awry :( We had it all planned ... babysitters booked for overnight, sexy new dress bought to showcase the 18 odd kilos I’d lost, sexy G string on because the dress was short and backless ... and hubby was on a promise ... I was going to fucking rock his world after the party :) We stopped at a friends on the way ... had two glasses of champagne and we arrive at the party which is being held at a restored house which had its own bomb shelter ... the ambiance was awesome but I started feeling uneasy, told hubby I’m going to the bathroom ... I get to the bathroom just in time to vomit, followed almost instantaneously by diarrhea... for over an hour this continued, drained, I lay on the bathroom floor (it was on old house and it had a carpeted washroom next to the toilet) I physically couldn’t get off the floor, I felt paralysed. Hubby came in search of me, only to have to somehow unlock the door with help from staff and carry me to our car ... I vomited on him, soiled myself and just cried and apologised .... repeatedly lol... No sex that night unfortunately, till this day I don’t understand why I reacted that way with only two drinks :( I can laugh about it now :) Mary xx

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Jeez, did you eat something that might have been off? If not, I'd be thinking your drink was spiked. That happened to me once. I was very sick and paralysed also, usually happens straight after you arrive. I can't think of a motive, but it happens a lot

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    you're lucky you had hubby with you. I was young, on my own with a date who I had only just met, and his friends, in the middle of a packed pub with a band playing, room started spinning, passed out, woke up but couldn't move, looking up at all the people, but no-one would help me because they just thought I was drunk or high. Really scary. I eventually was able to move, staggered across the room trying to find an exit, then was really sick outside. I'd only just arrived and had one sip of my drink. That's all it took, and I still don't know who did it. I parted company with said group because of that. They wanted me to go on to another bar with them but nope, that was enough for me

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  • boobsandbusted

    boobsandbusted

    8 years ago

    if i caught anyone spiking someone's drink whether i knew them or not ,that person would be sorry very quickly ,can't stand that sort of low life scum , now come on girls surely you have done something that in hindsight didn't go to plan and piss yourself laughing about today - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    I have one, just remembered 😀 Still not as epic as yours, and also involved plenty of liquid enhancement. Drank too much when I was young. Anyway... Big night one weekend pub, then nightclub, dancing, drinking, flirting, repeat and rotate lol after which I had my sights on one particular guy 😊 Big group of us then went nude swimming in the ocean, probably about 3am after burgers 😛 having a great time in the water, found said guy, then swam through a heap of stingers OMFG was I in pain that night, raging rash all over me, burnt like hell. Ended up at his place I think, can't quite remember detail this far along, but not very attractive lol Said guy ended up as bf. He had a great sense of humour. Needed one that night

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  • boobsandbusted

    boobsandbusted

    8 years ago

    never been stung by one, but bet they are a mood killer , for you now it would just be a good excuse for creams and lotions to be applied to every nook and cranny - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    When your hand falls asleep during masturbation :p - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • boobsandbusted

    boobsandbusted

    8 years ago

    country touch ,😂 - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    You know what is missing or could be added to this thread? Sex injuries :)

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  • boobsandbusted

    boobsandbusted

    8 years ago

    for sex injuries and embarrassments , but long time ago , - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Mine wasn't as bad as yours. Island in the barrier reef, dropped on secluded beach and had a great time. The only problem was they forgot to pick us up. Luckily we had walked the island trail the previous day and we found a track off the beach and found our way back to the resort.

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    lol maybe they didn't want to disturb 😉

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    We saw the boat go past but maybe they saw we were busy. Haven't had sex on the beach since then 😀

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  • boobsandbusted

    boobsandbusted

    8 years ago

    out of curiosity ,which island - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Brampton

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  • boobsandbusted

    boobsandbusted

    8 years ago

    ours was at long island ,and they also forgot us and turned up an hour late ,forgot about that bit , - Posted from rhpmobile

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  • bonefide

    bonefide

    8 years ago

    if i caught anyone spiking someone's drink whether i knew them or not ,that person would be sorry very quickly ,can't stand that sort of low life scum. Perfect statement no need to do this unless your a looser or insecure, mentally unstable. On planning a versions of hook ups, was to use washing detergent box's in front window of house. Omo and Fab OMO - Old Man is Out😎 Fab - Fucking arse hole is Back. 😲

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  • RHP

    RHP User

    8 years ago

    Don't let that stop you. Getting caught is half the fun 😇

    reply

  • bonefide

    bonefide

    8 years ago

    Your terrible Muriel 👍

    reply

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