F54
Coming under fire ...
September 08 2015
Comments
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RHP User
10 years ago
Well of course you do and it is - from where you're standing, as is everyone else's from their perspective
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RHP User
10 years ago
in the underlying premise or is it that we perceive there is an underlying premise, due to our interpretation of what's been said, when there may not even be one? In any case, our perception and/or subsequent reaction (or lack thereof) is a reflection of us is it not? By the way - whose to say I'm not royalty?
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RHP User
10 years ago
It sometimes easy to see someone's posts through a certain filter, so if after some posts you seriously disliked they post something you'd normally agree with, maybe you've already discarded it before reading it (general statement here, not aimed at anyone). Sometimes I'll see a comment that rubs me the wrong way for no obvious reason, and I'll have to stop and ask myself if I would have the same reaction if it was written by a forumite whose posts I usually agree with.
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RHP User
10 years ago
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RHP User
10 years ago
*First rule of humour; As long as You think it's funny, anyone else is a bonus.*My attempt at humour with the what could possibly go wrong post was , apparently, not seen as an attempt humour by one and all. I have no problem with that, people will perceive things as they will according to their own filters or perceptions, and that's the way things are. I made that post in good faith, what your opinion of it is your business and no one elses, some saw the humour in it some didn't. It was never my intention to ridicule the refugee situation which is undeniably a serious one regardless of how it's perceived. I guess the point I wanted to make is that it is that serious that it would raise strong feelings and that we would not all agree on it. At least we were able to establish that it had nothing to do with the USA....I posted a (Fight Club) thread in the Off Topic section but RHP in its wisdom did not approve it so I'm posting here and hoping it won't be deemed to be a diversion from this thread theme. Part of the reason I wanted to post that thread was to provide a venue for posters to air their differences without corrupting the original thread and/or causing it's demise. So with a bit of luck Kiwi and RHP will not get in a huff over this post...
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Jack_Denials' I posted a (Fight Club) thread in the Off Topic section but RHP in its wisdom did not approve it The first rule of Fight Club is "You do not talk about Fight Club." Guess the mods knew that.
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
How you could think that this thread was appropriate for that. It's Kiwibreds thread and she has set the parameters. So you are off topic. Go and sit in the corner........
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
Doh......!!
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RHP User
10 years ago
Some people have revealed themselves as being quite disingenuous .,,they say one thing and months later the opposite...so yes I have changed my mind about some people but mostly people seem to post in a genuine way xxFreya ..
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RHP User
10 years ago
Meander you're referring to another Fight Club...at my guess that'd be the Hollywood one.Annie, which corner? The Red or the Blue? When the bell rings...Freya are you being vague or referring to some one in particular..As I'm coming under fire here I don't think I'm off topic
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Dork_Doggler
10 years ago
There was this one time, I'd written a succinct subject heading, and gotten two thirds into writing the first sentence before thinking to myself, "What the fuck am I doing responding to a forum? Awww... No...not to a bloody Kiwi too." Then quickly backed out of the room hoping nobody had noticed. Chur chur chilly bin chur jandal bro chur chur cuz... But I think I got away with it...
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RHP User
10 years ago
higorgeousgirls I couldn't help but look at you profile and no doubt you would have some interesting things to say xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
Here's hoping you got away it then LoL. Oh the shame alone if it got out - you'd never hear the end of it! Aint nobody got time for that ... aye
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'TisonlyI' I have not been here that long only a few months (some would say that be too long). But I know as I have always been viewing and posting in the forums there are people who I would not like in the real world and others I would just because of what they post. I get a bit tired of complaints being posted but one has to expect them. I do not use my humour as I know that one will definitely bite me on the arse. As there have been a few posts comments and threads that have gone bad I think maybe when an OP asks a question or states something respond to that only, the problems begin when people post comments and opinions on comments and not responding to the original query. Yes I know they are just opinions but some tend to take them, shall we say too seriously and not too well. One has to remember you do not know these people and they play no importance in your life so why let it get to you or upset you. I think it's sad that you say "I don't use my humour" :-( Please use your humour, if people don't get it, stiff shit
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Jack_Denials' As I'm coming under fire here I don't think I'm off topic Either do I
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RHP User
10 years ago
But I am who I am and not the bad person some like to believe . More than once I shot myself in the foot by saying things that rubbed people up the wrong way , mostly unintentional.. but never the less you cant take that back once its in print. The main difference is I dont hold grudges as some have found out once they just get up and got on with things.. If true ' I believe a blacklist exists in another social media site.. I hope not , but I've heard this more than once before.. So bottom line is... Be true to yourself and don't be bullied .. The forums belong to everyone .. Jay
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RHP User
10 years ago
Received a message from a couple today asking me to elaborate on my comment re: Meeka being a researcher on page one of this forum. I'm not sure they read my comment properly (It was a joke. She's not.) but it goes to show that one seemingly innocent remark (to the poster anyway) can have consequences weeks later.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Jay_me' you cant take that back once its in print. Sure you can! Or at least, I'm sure that's what those responsible for removing whole topics or individual posts would like us all to think
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rupamohan
10 years ago
In the beginning I was amazed, not scared to see how some members here will attack a poster if the topic is not to their taste. Once you realise forum readers are not any different from others and are as stupid or intelligent as the world is, outside this forum. You start understanding them. More over RHP forum essentially deals with opinions not like a technical forum that deals with exchanging facts. And the opinions on personal matter like sex can vary a lot. I guess many single come to forum to have some non real time chat. This pretty much derails any topic as the primary interest is to chat. It took me sometime to understand how RHP forums are very different from my meaning of forum. Once I understood it. There were no more surprises. I always found it easy to understand two women here one is 60yrs and other was 90+ but is gone now.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Received a message from a couple today asking me to elaborate on my comment re: Meeka being a researcher on page one of this forum. I'm not sure they read my comment properly (It was a joke. She's not.) but it goes to show that one seemingly innocent remark (to the poster anyway) can have consequences weeks later. Guilty
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RHP User
10 years ago
Thats how easy it is to fall victim to misunderstanding .. Thumbs up for the guilty plea .. lol..
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RHP User
10 years ago
Meeka HAS disappeared. What was she up to? Lol - Posted from rhpmobile
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rupamohan
10 years ago
The quality of interaction and level of discretion exhibited can give some indication of research. I don't think I noticed anything at all to feel someone is researcher here.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Still? *rolleyes*
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RHP User
10 years ago
Meander was m,ing joke about Meeka being a Sydney University researcher here,a few people chose to see it as Meander being serious...online humour lacks the nuances that face to face verbal communication brings ..So although it was meant to be a light hearted joke about why Meeka left,Meanders joke went haywire xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
you now understand the impact of the post you made about Meeka for your own amusement has had...the far reaches any comment can have on any forum...even if said in jest.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Yes, I thought I had reiterated that once or twice already.
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RHP User
10 years ago
yet the doubt was instilled , personally I think not all forum readers read every post, just pop in now and then. So the first comment is the one that sticks with them, no matter how many times a comment is refuted. I have been flamed many times in the forums for telling the truth....dont regret anything I have said in the past. It has made me very wary of posting on many topics now as the flamers by force of numbers tend to "win". Nowadays I tend to concentrate more on the profiles and meeting people rather than participating in the forums.
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AnnieWhichway
10 years ago
the proportion of members coming under fire for the post content or because of personal dislike. Post content fire can be somewhat justified. Personality fire is just bad form and sometimes very obvious to 3rd parties.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I did wonder if some were taking the piss. :-).And I honestly think it wouldn't still be coming up if it wasn't the first post on this thread. .Lol Ruby. .Peachy
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RHP User
10 years ago
I could've said it and no one would've battered an eyelid..... - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
Ouch! My eyelids luckily remained unbattered. Batted?
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RHP User
10 years ago
battered is much more tastier 😝 :p - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
10 years ago
...I return from a great weekend away and discover the "researcher" joke and the aftermath has been resurrected AGAIN. Ok, for those of us who realised it was a leg pull, we had a laugh out of it, for those not in the know and for all those "speaking" on Meekas behalf...can we just let the bloody thing drop!!! It's water under the bridge ages ago so please stop clogging the flow and let it go. You can all shoot me down now as I don't give a s**t. Go for it. Apologies to Meander.
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RHP User
10 years ago
We've all felt put before a firing squad at least once during our time here. The important thing is that we move on from it. Everyone has different opinions and views and those opinions and views can be interpreted differently by individuals.,
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'wiccan_beltane' We've all felt put before a firing squad at least once during our time here. The important thing is that we move on from it. Everyone has different opinions and views and those opinions and views can be interpreted differently by individuals., So true ' ... I survived the firing squad a few times now and lived to tell.. I couldnt even tell you what all the fuss was about ? I dont hold grudges...
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MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
I agree, resurrected AGAIN. It's happened a few times now across different forum Topics. Why are you apologising for? It was Meander who resurrected it AGAIN, on page 6. Posted about how she received a message from a couple- that was the trigger that's has started the last few recent posts/Conversations. Yes?? I felt there was no need for it myself. Do readers need to know? Maybe if we ignore future posts/Topics (when brought up) then maybe it will not be resurrected? I like reading fresh new topics/posts. :) Ms Foxy
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RHP User
10 years ago
A post about a guy who had a thing for a woman in high heels to squish a live rat on his body with her stiletto. That was definately a WTF post.
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RHP User
10 years ago
I mentioned it for this reason: "it goes to show that one seemingly innocent remark (to the poster anyway) can have consequences weeks later" It was meant as a reminder for myself and others that once something is in writing, it's out there and the ripple effect can last for ages. You felt the need to comment too though, while you could have let it go, yes??? And if I may speak for Meeks just once: She and I are fine. (So are Tangy and I in case you're wondering). Moving on now, shall ignore future posts.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Hi All... I'm back after a long bout of 'Man Flu' (Was truly quite ill... but anyway...) I've been slammed on here a few times... Nothing serious or ongoing. It was especially when I was new and it was especially just a couple of ignorant people who are no longer on these pages. We all have opinions and we all express them as best we can. Some are better at it than others. Some are more 'forthright' than others, but I don't think I have EVER criticized or made someone else feel uncomfortable (in front of an entire forum) for having an opinion. Sometimes I will disagree and I'll try to explain why. I'm sure sometimes I'm wrong but I feel I am right and my opinion or information is valid. If you disagree with someone, say so, by all means and then get on with it... Don't try to belittle or slam someone for having an opinion. "I don't agree with what you say but I will defend to the death, your right to say it!"
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RHP User
10 years ago
... pretty much on day one, in defence of generic profiles. I haven't necessarily changed my opinion, but, with one or two posters in particular being the exception, I have a better understanding as to why people reacted the way they did. I quite like polarising topics and posters & don't mind a bit of controversy as those are the ones that I find more insightful in terms of bringing true colours to the surface (reactivity wise among other things), but I tend to switch off to people habitually take things out of context in order to drive their own agenda - especially those that aren't able to do so without making snide comments or not so subtle digs at others with opposing viewpoints. I think some people can go a bit overboard with regards to TMI. Considering most peoples points of views are based on experiences and/or current belief systems, sometimes the experience itself isn't necessarily required as a means of expression or justification.
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RHP User
10 years ago
singing...."I'm just a poor old long haired zenned out hippy cowboy biker trucker.....""Woah.....!!"
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RHP User
10 years ago
I'll join you with my tamborine.
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MsSuperFoxy
10 years ago
Let it go! It is water under the bridge, some might want it left there as it brings up sensitive feelings, which they may not want surfaced. I dare say a lot of People have moved on. Clearly by repeatedly bringing up that topic/issue at every opportunity, it's not letting others move on who want too, nor do they want it surfaced. It's not going to change people's perspective/ views. I actually feel for all parties involved. It might be nice to give them the freedom to move on. I'm sure if it were you in that position, you would want that. Give all parties involved the respect, dignity and privacy they deserve. Ms Foxy
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RHP User
10 years ago
We all have as much right to post*
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RHP User
10 years ago
i came here to learn about sex and fetishes and things, but instead i'm learning that there are men here who don't accept women saying no and now cat fish. i didn't even know what that was until today. can't trust anyone! :-(
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' We all have as much right to post* Guess this doesn't make all that much sense anymore, but I stand by it. Cavey, you need a triangle player?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Seems like a bunch of posts were removed with a hacksaw, but the responses to a few of them are still there? My post went to, this thing was an eye-opener though and has taught me a lot.
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RHP User
10 years ago
That they lasted longer than the prescribed timeframe for mods edits.....I can only assume it was the direct result of a request......obviously not by the author.....so who here seemingly had the biggest issue with said hacked comments I wonder???
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RHP User
10 years ago
I've posted things that have been taken the wrong way by others. Usually it's because I haven't actually stopped to think how it may come across to others. But hey I don't care as I say what I feel at the time & if people don't like it that's their problem not mine. At the end of the day I can't take back what's written & nor will I want to. People can express their feelings on here if I read what they've written & have to say about it I will & if they don't like what I have to say then too bad. If you can't handle people's comments then don;t comment, it really is that simple. lol
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RHP User
10 years ago
Come join Cavey's band, we're playing True Colours and Kumbaya. Bonita, I can see why you're taken aback, but it's what's out there in the world, just condensed on one site. Better to learn these lessons here then in real life, no?
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RHP User
10 years ago
Stirry the mods can enlighten us. I was more than happy for my post to remain, after all that is why I posted it....and was very disappointed to see it removed.....As my post was approved initially and remained for some time, I am only assuming that the subsequent comments that came after it may have been a trigger to a mod, but like I said that is just a assumption on my part and of course I do no know..as some of you are very friendly with the mods, perhaps you can ask them directly
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RHP User
10 years ago
The mods were averting a whole heap of ongoing merde.,they deleted posts rather than closing the whole thread xxFreya
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RHP User
10 years ago
has been oiled.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Come join Cavey's band, we're playing True Colours I took out karaoke last night with that song! LoL
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RHP User
10 years ago
... to voice my opinion on the removal of posts and or whole topics, provided it's still here when I get back that is.
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RHP User
10 years ago
When writing in a forum, texting, messaging on any program, you don't see the expressions and body language. Nor do you hear the way in which something is said. So many times, even in just 'one on one' conversations, something can be read into words that have been written innocently, without having the meaning that the reader may see, feel or assume. That's why I like to get to the phone conversation stage as soon as it's proper and comfortable for both (whether it be here or on another site). The written word, in the form of conversation can so often be misconstrued and misunderstood to the point of upset. I'mre that 9 times out of ten, it's not intended to be in any way upsetting, hurtful or 'smart-arsey'... Ta
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RHP User
10 years ago
Bated breath.
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RHP User
10 years ago
Well as the saying goes, "Opinions are like assholes, everyones got one" But like assholes if you dont vent your opinions you will died painful and dispicable death. Can't vent/post without someone being offend, thats life ..... isn't?
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RHP User
10 years ago
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RHP User
10 years ago
'Tiptoeing' is what you find yourself doing for a short time after 'dropping a clanger' (even if unintentionally). In the one case I'm thinking of, I was pretty new and just didn't think before I voiced an opinion... Although it wasn't meant the way the 'first' member decided to interpret it, it seemed to me that after that first 'condemning post', people just began to follow suit and throw in their 2 cents worth of venom, based solely on that first member's interpretation of what I had meant. Being stupid and pretty new, I found myself trying to explain and clarify what I actually meant and that I had intended no malice or insult to anyone or anything... But unfortunately, once something is said (and in 'eternal print' for all to see and re-examine with a microscope, there was no hope...). Accusations of back peddling etc came from all directions... LOL. I should have just shut up and apologised (even though I meant nothing derogatory...) It's all forgotten now and having met some of the people at a couple of 'Meet and Greets' since, I get the impression that the one's who were involved, now know me as the person I am and with some I have talked about all manner of things, laughed and had a wonderful time together... Water under the bridge as they say. Or maybe, completely forgotten altogether. But I still find myself a little careful, and (you may have noticed) that if I do,even after posting, see something that I feel may be misconstrued, I post again with an 'addition', explaining or modifying what I've said so it's understood, BEFORE that first 'condemning post'... But by and large, everyone here, I find, is friendly intelligent and fun. It's just that sometimes a 'nerve can be 'seemingly' struck (without intention) and it's on for young and old. Not unlike the recent post about those (like myself) who were judged to be in the wrong place because they are looking for something more than just sex and hope for something 'lasting'... A perfect example of someone who should have just accepted that most people disagreed, which is a right we all have. Good day to all, everywhere... ... " I love you's all..." LOL
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