M66
Irreverence
March 15 2015
Comments
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Cheekyarses
11 years ago
Never ever stop being you!!! - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
I for one, have gleaned, via the forums, various insights as to your understated complexity. As a tongue in cheek bloke myself, I find your posts and comments excellent. As the Cheeky's said.. Don't stop being your (crazy, sane, funny, serious, and unrepentant) self. Obi1
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RHP User
11 years ago
I agree with you, but you can see their point though in this particularly instance, right?
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RHP User
11 years ago
The comment you justify was too far in many ppls view. Just because you are known here doesnt make it ok does it? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
How would you feel about one of your sisters or daughters being treated with such utter contempt .?
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RHP User
11 years ago
I've never met you, seen your posts or replies AND didn't take your post seriously either.. --THE BIGGEST KEY FOR EVERYONE TO REMEMBER (before this all gets too out of hand- as I feel its just about to) IS THAT YOU CAN'T GET tone ACROSS IN THE WRITTEN WORD-- P.C sucks equally, for everyone, and Cavey50, I feel, doesn't pander to the P.C crowd- just check out that profile pic. Caveman look, out the front of a cave and takes the name Cavey. Now that's a wicked sense of humour... Ad Hominum attacks usually come from the P.C crowd-- I like the Mark Brandon "Chopper" Read quote, "You've got to look at the motivations of people saying these things". --it's pure P.C.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I have no idea what you are talking about!
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RHP User
11 years ago
I was one of the people that found that comment offensive but from the responses that followed, both in my mailbox and on the thread, I certainly wasn't alone Cavey. Excuse me for being blunt, but it is quite frankly largely irrelevant how long you have been an active member of the forums or what type of a person you are. Ditto for the people that found it humorous, how long they have been posting in the forum and your relationship with them. When you make light of perfoming a sexual act on someone without their expressed consent it is obviously going to disturb and enrage people who support a persons right to choose. If it was a joke - it wasn't funny and it was poorly concieved as an idea especially when it is a trigger for people that have suffered sexual assault, and have had their right to choose taken away from them. I make no apologies for sharing my view about what you wrote, and how I was disheartened by both the original comment and context and the other RHP members that apperead to support it. I refuse to be intimidated by the group mentality or the fact that I might not be a well known (or liked) forum poster. I will always stand in the face of oppresion because it is what I'm called to do in my bones. I'm not trying to paint you as an inherently 'evil' person. I'm sure it was a joke (or at least, I really hope it was) but I honestly believe that trying to defend that particular comment is going to be far more damaging than simply apologising for making it. With love to you all, ~Kallysta.
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Seachange73
11 years ago
I too am lost with what people ate referring to. The context if thr OP is yhrn list on me as was nit aware if any post by which people were offended. Given what little has been said, I find your posts quite funny and even very brutally honest. I havr nit cime across any post if you that has offended me. So far so good. If I am offended then I may comment on it or ignore it altogether, as I hsvr ignored some annoying male poster here. All I can say, cavey you are an funny intrlligent individual who ddoesn't mince words. Lol
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
I will stand by the fact that I indeed found it humorous and was not taken with seriousness at all, as I find with most of cavey's posts..... I will continue to like a post for how I see/read it, because it is my perception on how I read it. I certainly don't in any way, shape, or form condone any form of abuse, be it sexual, physical, or mental, against any person whatsoever, as I have been on the receiving end of all 3.... I'm sorry if me liking a particular post has offered you Kallysta or anyone else for that matter, it wasn't my intention, it was just me liking something that I took as lighthearted humour.....
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RHP User
11 years ago
I get that your post was 'tongue in 'cheek', 'irreverent' etc. What I don't get is how you don't seem to understand that your post would be considered highly offensive to people who have been on the receiving end of non-consensual sexual acts. And that those people are just as entitled to respond negatively as you were to post it in the first place. And I especially don't get why you had to start completely new thread to 'explain/defend' yourself. Surely that would have been better done in the original forum topic? For those of you who would like the full picture, here is the link to the topic referred to by the OP. http://redhotpie.com.au/Adult-Forums/Cum-where-48118
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RHP User
11 years ago
I fail to see irreverence or humour in that post...and I am gob smacked that women I have as personal friends would support such utter disrespectful rubbish..Shame on you.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'KindredKohl' When you make light of perfoming a sexual act on someone without their expressed consent Was it? I really didn't see it that way. Not sure what you mean by group mentality or intimidation either. I have a right to my opinion same as you, and I resent the inference that I condone assault, because I don't.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Freya79' I fail to see irreverence or humour in that post...and I am gob smacked that women I have as personal friends would support such utter disrespectful rubbish..Shame on you. It was very disrespectful to the wife, I agree. Sounds like they treated each other with a lot of disrespect and hurt each other a lot. I am assuming you say. Hmm yes I am. So are you all. You just don't know what there relationship was like or what they did in the bedroom so.........
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RHP User
11 years ago
Humour.You know.. in real life, we go to see artists perform.Eddie Murphy for example:swearing cursing and TOTALLY inconsiderate to any human frailty.Some of you may have gone to "Stand up Comics" and LAUGHED at much worse.Intoxicated by the friendships, and possibly the imbibed chemicals, including alcohol, we go out any weekeknd and find these things FUNNY, OR we do not.When we are sitting at our computers, sobre, depressed, guilty or ANY other human psychological condition, LOOKING for an excuse to vent, we find them insulting and degrading..For the Astute:For EVERY story I have told on here, I am certain, there is someone who has said..."Whatever.. I heard that years ago on stage...""I heard that in Such-and-such a movie".Why do I say "Certain" ?Simple really... I do not use my own material.Whether I have ACTUALLY done one single act, or carried one single behaviour I have spoken about is not even relevant..I was NOT making my time in the forums an issue.. NOR was I making it an excuse..Neither for myself, OR those who giggled.Freya: My daughters HAVE in fact been treated FAR worse - you can say it is MY karma, IF you are that way inclined.AND, I MIGHT add Freya, you in fact ANSWERED one of very few SERIOUS posts once. Our lives are OUR journeys: SHIT is going to happen. People are going to make light of it.As we as humans do.We text horrid and irreverent messages by the MILLIONS, if not BILLIONS every day.Because THAT is what we do .. as humans.IF you have NEVER sent one on.. never passed on a single quote, a single message that SOMEONE SOMEWHERE in the world would find offensive, THEN.. and ONLY then can you really justify and berate me Simple_desires AND anyone else.. Did I go too far?Your call on that.. so, NO! I will not admit to it, nor acknowledge it.The "Simple" thing to do it "Block" me, and you will NEVER see another irreverent thing I say.Kallysta: I would NEVER expect you to be intimidated by a croud, NOR by an individual, and will ALWAYS fight for YOUR freedom to berate me IF you see it worthy to do so.
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RHP User
11 years ago
To be devisive post..it's very clever of you OP to provide yourself with such a self congratulatory platform...
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yup, just as I suspected- its gonna get out of hand.....
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Lovinit28andKC72
11 years ago
I'm sorry if I've offended anyone, pass judgement if you must.... How I see it Freya, yes we are good friends, I respect you, value you and your advice, I appreciate you for you and I love our friendship. I'm sorry if you are gob smacked/shocked/disappointed by my interpretation, by my opinion of the OP, but we will sometimes not agreed, we will have difference of opinions, I will sometimes shock you, as you do to me.....💋
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Elle67' I get that your post was 'tongue in 'cheek', 'irreverent' etc. What I don't get is how you don't seem to understand that your post would be considered highly offensive to people who have been on the receiving end of non-consensual sexual acts. And that those people are just as entitled to respond negatively as you were to post it in the first place. Okay, I am asking this in total seriousness. I don't understand why you see this as a non-consensual sex act. Is it because in this instance the person comes on the other? I have on a number of occasions been confronted by stranger wanking while I was in public places, earliest case was probably when I was ten years old. I have never considered myself to be a victim of sexual assault. So what is the difference, if one of those men threw their come on me would that make it different? Clearly it is a sexual offense and totally creepy and wrong but is it a sexual assault?
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RHP User
11 years ago
What do you want to achieve with this thread OP? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
to paint of yourself. It doesn't portray you as a good person and certainly isn't an advertisement for you're suitability as a partner in any sense of the word. -Ms Enamor - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' ...I have on a number of occasions been confronted by stranger wanking while I was in public places, earliest case was probably when I was ten years old. I have never considered myself to be a victim of sexual assault. So what is the difference, if one of those men threw their come on me would that make it different? Clearly it is a sexual offense and totally creepy and wrong but is it a sexual assault? Yes it is sexual assault!!! Legally this is indeed sexual assault. I haven't commented on Cavey's post because I don't know the full circumstances, and Kindredkohl has said all I would say anyway. Can't let this one slide though. I'd also note that a woman (and men) have the same rights inside a marriage as they do outside it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't see it as sexual assault either, and I specifically didn't use the word 'assault' for very similar reasons to what you outlined in your post. I'll probably also be shot down in flames for saying that. I stand by non-consensual though. My interpretation from the original 'cum where' thread is that the OP continued wanking onto his wife despite knowing she found it offensive. And got 'perverse revenge pleasure' from it. His words, not mine. In my eyes that constitutes non-consensual.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Cavey wrote this post so the other one wasnt derailed perhaps simple_desires?
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madotara69
11 years ago
you forgot to mention "for the fruit loops", Who may see it as you are the one who had been abused, irreverent, care factor zero? It happens to men too folks, Abused. Mado Mado Tara xx
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RHP User
11 years ago
Then I would say almost all women have been sexually assaulted if that is the case.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Then I would say almost all women have been sexually assaulted if that is the case. A huge number have, and we need to be very careful in ensuring that men understand that consent is ALWAYS required. I'm not commenting on Cavey's situation, his ex-wife would be the best one to do that. I assume that if it was a serious problem for her he would have been taken to task for it. But your comment that a man exposing himself, and even wanking and flinging cum at you was not sexual assault is flat out wrong. There was a case very recently where a man did this to a woman at a music festival and she was quite traumatised by it. Men are brought to the courts for indecent exposure on a regular basis. It needs to stop, and like domestic violence we need to call it out for what it is every chance we get.
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RHP User
11 years ago
This is not in relation to Cavey's situation. But yes I just googled the legal definition of sexual assault in NSW, particularly to people under 18. Seems that I have been assaulted in one way or other a lot. Not seriously, but acts were I just thought of as men acting like dickheads is more serious than that. And by the definition, I challenge you to find a woman who hasn't been sexually assaulted in some way then. So, my apologies all. I was wrong.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'JerseyGirl' I have no idea what you are talking about! I must have missed the comment Cavey, but I remember your post and I would have been the fourth person that cracked up. Why is it that your comments can make you sound like the biggest prick, yet after well over two years you still have my respect? Only you.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Cavey I've just read your comment to which your OP refers. Totally get your male humor. And yes particularly understand "bridled" bitterness in the separation process.... ==== Not connecting these issues. ====== ====•• The thing I've learned in here is that the ends of the bell curve have as much right to voice their opinion as those forming centre majority. Notwithstanding that I also agree with Simons comment.....and this is separate from this thread, I whole heartedly agree domestic abuse has to stop I all its forms including those where it is indeed against men. ========= Good luck Mr Cavey...
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
who occasionally puts my humour too close to the line. You post what you think should be ok. Then you read it again and you can see a different view of what you meant.Okay, weather the storm, maybe apologise as they push you onto the gallows. But even I know there are topics that cannot be pushed to the line. Topics that can hold no humour whatever way you look at it. Haven't read the original so not one to judge here.
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Smilingwithfun
11 years ago
I'd like to ask SimonDoes that if we, men have the same rights, how come you put us[men] in brackets? For real, social pressure, on a man who says he is being pressured to have sex. Worlds apart. As for Cavey's post, I tried to paste & copy, no chance. I'm not going to let my I T guru fix it, its my 16yr old son. So i'll just say, we live in a free speech world.
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RHP User
11 years ago
POSSIBLY ONE of the reasons i am NO LONGER married.....I had a wife who regularly was "Too WTF ever..." to have sex...So.. after she went to sleep.. I would toss off.. and blow all over her face and hair... How did it feel? GOODWhat did I get out of it? Perverse revenge pleasureWhat was it REALLY like? most times better then ACTUAL sex with her.How did she respond to it? Verbal abuse, threats and eventual divorce.Care factor? ZeroUltimate outcome? freedom to have LOTS more sex with othersSide comments: not that marriage stopped me from having sex with others.. which.. in hindsight....MAY have been the REAL cause of the divorce..NEW care factor based on this revealed information? STILL fckn Zero.
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RHP User
11 years ago
But while I chose not to comment when I first saw it, it made me feel sick. . She didn't want sex for whatever reason. . You took revenge by cumming all over her, even though she objected, with what you describe as "Verbal abuse, threats and eventual divorce." Your cheating maybe having been the actual cause of the divorce leads to even more questions. Being a vengeful man, how careful were you with your sexual safety before you took the time to spit your disgust all over her while she not in a position to defend herself. . Whether you were literal or figurative, I just wonder how many people now think what you did is an okay thing to do. . Sex has to be consensual. No two ways about it.
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Smilingwithfun
11 years ago
Thankyou Mrs Peachy for showing the post. It allows us to read the topic of discussion.
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RHP User
11 years ago
and I encouraged it because I like Cavey's humour. I am not apologising for it either and I really couldn't give cavey's left testicle (providing he still has them and his wife didn't cut them out from the offending cum shots) if anyone else is offended by me not being offended. I refuse to apologise for having a sense of humour or taking things the way they were intended. This just seems like another example of people reading way too much into stuff. Love your work Cavey!
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RHP User
11 years ago
Cavey/Neanderthal? The one about you wanking on your said loathed sleeping wife? I'm guessing. Hmmmm... Why didn't you leave before it got so low ... would have been my response .... but sometimes I just don't care enough to make a comment. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
So, thanks to you.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Elle67' I get that your post was 'tongue in 'cheek', 'irreverent' etc. What I don't get is how you don't seem to understand that your post would be considered highly offensive to people who have been on the receiving end of non-consensual sexual acts. And that those people are just as entitled to respond negatively as you were to post it in the first place. And I especially don't get why you had to start completely new thread to 'explain/defend' yourself. Surely that would have been better done in the original forum topic? For those of you who would like the full picture, here is the link to the topic referred to by the OP. http://redhotpie.com.au/Adult-Forums/Cum-where-48118 Thanks Elle
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'SimonDoes'Quoting 'Meeka100'...I have on a number of occasions been confronted by stranger wanking while I was in public places, earliest case was probably when I was ten years old. I have never considered myself to be a victim of sexual assault. So what is the difference, if one of those men threw their come on me would that make it different? Clearly it is a sexual offense and totally creepy and wrong but is it a sexual assault? Yes it is sexual assault!!!Post your Comment Legally this is indeed sexual assault. I haven't commented on Cavey's post because I don't know the full circumstances, and Kindredkohl has said all I would say anyway. Can't let this one slide though. I'd also note that a woman (and men) have the same rights inside a marriage as they do outside it.Which law? (and where? NSW, WA?) Is it actually sexual assault though? (I'm going to base this on NSW, cause looking up WA at 3am is a pain) She isn't penetrated - which is an element required for 'sexual assault' as far as I could see. She isn't awake, so elements of 'assault' aren't there if you look at it as a tort. Perhaps battery could be argued as physical contact was made by something under his control - the cum. (Actually, I bothered looking at WA ... since there is a provision for it to count as aggravated if if it was likely to seriously and substantially degrade the victim. That would be interesting to hear argued on both sides. But, is irrelevant as it couldn't be "indecent" since it isn't viewed by anyone else - she was asleep. I suspect even if that wasn't a required element you'd be hard pressed to argue that it was indecent to masturbate in only the company of your spouse in your own home and bedroom. So I couldn't see anything in WA crimes code that it would be counted as) I didn't read it as a joke, so I didn't find it funny and thought it was quite off-colour... but I'm more annoyed by people using the nonsense reasoning that a response might be a "trigger" for someone. Anything can be a trigger for someone given the right circumstances and personal history.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'KindredKohl' I refuse to be intimidated by the group mentality or the fact that I might not be a well known (or liked) forum poster. this is one of those aspects of the RHP forums that I dislike. What you can get away with very much depends on how popular you are, both as a poster and in real life, i.e. it influences how many will support you no matter what crap you come out with. I'd be willing to bet that if a new, unknown male poster had made that same comment, some of the same people that are supporting the OP - and who should frankly know better in doing so - would be decrying his actions. There shouldn't actually be any difference in the responses but because of the OP's persona on here, people have no problem dismissing his actions as a joke and him 'just being good ol' Cavey' and expressing his ''male humour'' as one poster put it (give me a freaking break).
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AnnieWhichway
11 years ago
Peachy for posting that. Wasnt going to bother to search for it but now having read it..... Not only not funny in the least but calls into doubt your character for staying in a relationship that to you was that bad. You cant cover a bad choice with comedy. Not ever, not when you are hurting someone........
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'MrsPeachyPearL' But while I chose not to comment when I first saw it, it made me feel sick. . She didn't want sex for whatever reason. . You took revenge by cumming all over her, even though she objected, with what you describe as "Verbal abuse, threats and eventual divorce." Your cheating maybe having been the actual cause of the divorce leads to even more questions. Being a vengeful man, how careful were you with your sexual safety before you took the time to spit your disgust all over her while she not in a position to defend herself. . Whether you were literal or figurative, I just wonder how many people now think what you did is an okay thing to do. . Sex has to be consensual. No two ways about it. Cave man what you did is so disgusting,How does one do that to another person?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Is alive and well in the forums..Everyone jumps up and down on White Ribbon Day...but because DV is presented here as so called male humour and it's just Cavey being Cavey it somehow is acceptable...Meh.Give me a good dose of P.C any day...humourless feminist that I am.
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Seachange73
11 years ago
for giving us context to this discussion since we were not clued in what the post people were referring to. Now I do understand where people are coming from.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I make borderline comments myself so I would not be able to comment. And I still don't see it as sexual assault really even thought I now know the definition.
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RHP User
11 years ago
The statement in question “ POSSIBLY ONE of the reasons i am NO LONGER married..... I had a wife who regularly was "Too WTF ever..." to have sex... So.. after she went to sleep.. I would toss off.. and blow all over her face and hair... How did it feel? GOOD What did I get out of it? Perverse revenge pleasure What was it REALLY like? most times better then ACTUAL sex with her. How did she respond to it? Verbal abuse, threats and eventual divorce. Care factor? Zero Ultimate outcome? freedom to have LOTS more sex with others Side comments: not that marriage stopped me from having sex with others.. which.. in hindsight.... MAY have been the REAL cause of the divorce.. NEW care factor based on this revealed information? STILL fckn Zero.” I have a legal background and the above statement describes sexual assault and possible domestic violence. There is no right to sex not even in a marriage. If this is a true scenario I am glad to hear that this destructive relationship has ended. I would also be wary of meeting a person who has engaged in such activities as they clearly lack respect for women "care factor fckn zero" reinforces this attitude. Everyone has their kinks but respect and consent are paramount. If this was meant to be a fictitious funny story don't give up your day job. Many comedians use taboo topics for material but they do this in a skillful non offensive way which is clearly missing here.
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RHP User
11 years ago
That I go by how the OP has treated myself and others during the two and a half years I have been here. Both on and off the forums, Cavey, you have treated me with nothing but warmth and the utmost respect. I'm not going by what you did (or claim you did) years ago. Let me say though that if anyone came in my hair while I was sleeping, I'd tear him a new one.
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RHP User
11 years ago
It does make a difference to me knowing Cavey because he doesn't speak like that about all women only the ex wife. Admittedly I haven't read all his posts, so I could be wrong there. So I don't know I it's true or a joke but to me I just saw the hurt and anger.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Freya mentioned 'white Ribbon" day and well she may..I actually contributed to that post we had up there..Sue Storm posted it dec 21, 2012http://redhotpie.com.au/adult-forums/White-Ribbon-Day-38144 About half way down the first page is my post..FYI information. I know about this stuff.. Painfully so.. and in many cases.. worse so then many of you all.Justification for my posts? Nah!Thank you all for your contributions to this, and the Original post Anything that raises the public perceptions of something happening everyday, every country, every town, and just about every household is possibly a good thing.. Only time will tell.. but, inevitibility is just that.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I read the original I did think " only Cavey could write that"
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RHP User
11 years ago
Definitely a forum that gave an insight into a very unhappy destructive marriage. I was in a unhappy, loveless marriage. I left. ...I did not cheat on my husband, I finalised that part of my life with respect to all involved THEN went out and had great nsa sex as a single person knowing it would not hurt anybody. Meh each to there own. Life would be boring if we were all the same. - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Humour of this nature is usually based on a hypothetical situation (which some find funny and others not), I fail to see how when this being based on reality of what you did to her can be funny in any way shape or form. The way he has expressed it may be intended to be funny, but the act itself is a sexual assault in WA and around the world. "A sexual assault is a physical contact of a sexual nature directed toward another person where that person does not give consent, gives consent as a result of intimidation or fraud, or consent is proscribed (i.e. the person is legally deemed incapable of giving consent because of youth, temporary/permanent (mental) incapacity or there is a familial relationship)." physical contact...once your bodily fluids or penis makes contact that is enough no consent....1. she is asleep. 2. She has let it be known she does not consent.(No means No) Shame on anyway who tries to justify him for whatever reason especially just because he may be funny,you know him or he is Neanderthal, he has committed a sexual assault and tried to make it humorous. End of story. As we all know sexual assaults take on many forms and vary in severity eg a hand on our butt in a nightclub by a drunken male through to rape. This one is a premeditated act within a relationship and is also form of domestic violence. Cavey, its 2015AD not year 2015BC I would suggest in the future if a women isn`t providing sex or you are in an unhappy relationship you move on, or sleep in the spare room before feeling the need to cum in her face whilst she is asleep for your own sick self satisfaction. Also admitting this on a public platform is not the wisest idea as your wife would still be entitled to seek prosecution against you. Well done to those who expressed their feelings against it. I would now be crawling back into that cave of yours for a long hard look at your actions and self justification.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Smilingwithfun'I'd like to ask SimonDoes that if we, men have the same rights, how come you put us[men] in brackets? For real, social pressure, on a man who says he is being pressured to have sex. Worlds apart. As for Cavey's post, I tried to paste & copy, no chance. I'm not going to let my I T guru fix it, its my 16yr old son. So i'll just say, we live in a free speech world.We are talking about assaults on women, so I simply mentioned men as an aside to be complete. The overwhelming majority of sexual and domestic violence is man on woman. Where men are the victims, the overwhelming majority of perpetrators are also men. Woman on man violence does happen, but it is a tiny proportion of the problem and not the focus of this discussion. Men who bleat "what about the men" when these issues come up always have something more to say. So what is your point Smiligwithfun?
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RHP User
11 years ago
It made me laugh again. I remember posting that I love the look in ladies eyes when the rufies kick in on one thread and I can only recall one negative post. Maybe people just expect more of you then me? Just because we can make a joke about an issue doesn't mean we condone the behaviour.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't know of the comment that you make so I won't be commenting on that.... But.... In all the time I've read your posts I've always seen the funny, the serious and have seen the difference between the two. To quote you in a different post...."I actually LIKE what you write..." - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'fdom234'Many comedians use taboo topics for material but they do this in a skillful non offensive way which is clearly missing here. Disagree with this comment.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Funlover71' It made me laugh again. I remember posting that I love the look in ladies eyes when the rufies kick in on one thread and I can only recall one negative post. Maybe people just expect more of you then me? Just because we can make a joke about an issue doesn't mean we condone the behaviour. yes I do remember that comment and it definitely was borderline inappropriate. Actually it was totally inappropriate. But since I know you and have never seen you display any other violent abusive behaviours, I took the approach that you were joking. A joke in poor taste perhaps, but a joke none the less. But lets face it. Those sorts of comments look pretty damning and shocking to people that do not know you or your writing style. For instance, I know that I joke with you are lot about strappy and I am sure some people would see that as me harassing you about something you are not comfortable with. I am totally aware that my comments could also be misconstrued.
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RHP User
11 years ago
@Cavey50 - "Anything that raises the public perceptions of something happening everyday, every country, every town, and just about every household is possibly a good thing.." This is something we can agree upon. Any platform where a dialogue is established that brings sexual assault and informed consent to the forefront is a conversation worth having (albeit arising from you attempting to make make a joke about it). At least one person in the forum is empowered having discovered the legal definition of sexual assault and that is a positive we can take from the topic. It doesn't have to happen in every household, everyday and in every country and this is the point. If we stand together empowered by knowledge and sharing in the common ideal that as a community we wont stand for sexual assault, a person's consent being taken from them or indeed presenting these themes as a cheap joke then we begin the long process of stamping this shit out as one force which is vigiliant and unwavering in it's goal. Special thanks to @Theinbetweeners for providing the exact legal framework. I hope it continues to enlighten people as to what classifies as assault and empowers them to not accept this illegal behaviour if it is dedicated against them.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Which law? (and where? NSW, WA?) Is it actually sexual assault though? (I'm going to base this on NSW, cause looking up WA at 3am is a pain) She isn't penetrated - which is an element required for 'sexual assault' as far as I could see. She isn't awake, so elements of 'assault' aren't there if you look at it as a tort. Perhaps battery could be argued as physical contact was made by something under his control - the cum. (Actually, I bothered looking at WA ... since there is a provision for it to count as aggravated if if it was likely to seriously and substantially degrade the victim. That would be interesting to hear argued on both sides. But, is irrelevant as it couldn't be "indecent" since it isn't viewed by anyone else - she was asleep. I suspect even if that wasn't a required element you'd be hard pressed to argue that it was indecent to masturbate in only the company of your spouse in your own home and bedroom. So I couldn't see anything in WA crimes code that it would be counted as) Jurisdictions may have slightly different terminology but the common factor for sexual offences is lack of consent. Whether that be for an act involving penetration (rape) or a non penetrative sexual act sometimes referred to as indecent assault. This is the summary of the law in Victoria but all states are similar. http://www.legalaid.vic.gov.au/find-legal-answers/sex-and-law/sexual-assault This is a criminal act and not a civil tortious act so the victim does not have to prove the elements of a tort. There is no requirement that the act be viewed by a 3rd party in order for it to be deemed "Indecent" in the context of the legislation.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Comedy is often based on the absurd, and definitely pushes the boundaries. Funlover's comment about the rufies is different because we don't think he actually runs around drugging girls for sex. Many won't find it funny, because it is a serious issue and some unfortunately will have direct or indirect experience of it. I thought it was funny. Cavey's got a different response because he is actually claiming to have done it. Assuming it is true, the ex-wife didn't call the police, hopefully because she saw something amusing in it herself rather than because she felt trapped in a domestic violence situation. I didn't find it funny, but didn't think much of it on it's own either. The other difference in these two situations is that everyone knows that drugging someone for sex is wrong and illegal, whereas some of the comments suggest that cumming on a woman without her consent is just a prank. That's the part that got me going.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting SD "Cavey's got a different response because he is actually claiming to have done it"
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RHP User
11 years ago
Yes of course you are right, and the distinction between presenting it as a done deed should be noted. Yes, I understand why Freya and LD and others are disappointed me in me for finding it funny. Totally understand and I am sorry for it. Yes, I accept that the act does satisfy the definition of a sexual assault. Yes, if I saw a guy who was going to do that to somebody who was as sleep I would pull him up on it. Yes, I am super impressed that this topic is still here. Thank you RHP. No, unfortunately I still see the act as a prank and in my mind I wouldn't have ever linked it is to a sexual assault.
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JDM76
11 years ago
The key phrase is " EVENTUAL DIVORCE " in my eyes , all the legal comments are right it is assault under our statutes , but mrs cavey exercised her free will and sought a divorce . She could have raised this issue with her representative , and sought the full range of protection offered to her . If the client doesn't tell you everything it would be hard to give them full protection i imagine . Lucky it didn't come out before the recent brissy meet and greet , i wonder what the reception some would have given others on each side of the cavey divide ? . Can humorless feminists sleep with non pc males ? Would their children have the perfect combination of sensitivity and humour ? Great social experiment .
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Yes, I accept that the act does satisfy the LEGAL definition of a sexual assault Sorry, I felt that was an important distinction to make.
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RHP User
11 years ago
So if someone has been reading another forum poster's comments for over 2 years and has possibly met them in person before does that mean they know them? how ridiculous and even if you think you know someone does that then excuse their comments? I've had something similar be done to me and I felt quite violated. i'd been friends with a guy for over 4 years and started dating him after. we dated for 2 years, he knew I couldn't take birth control so we used condoms. Then one day he just decided not to, just like that. He didn't even tell me, i found out after he came and well, I had a strange sensation of wetness inside. He didn't seem apologetic either, needless to say it was goodbye after that. Would you consider this funny then if thsat guy was on here and worded this differently for your amusement? Now, I thought I knew this guy, and everyone believes he is a very nice guy. A year ago or more than that some poster here made a general comment that appeared racially biased and lots of people ripped into that poster, many have met the poster and said poster was a regular poster.....but then perhaps not much liked as Cavey? Its still no excuse even if the marriage was bad and if they were being bad to each other, that doesn't justify such actions and it wasn't even funny. what if this was some guy doing this to you? in short, 1. just because someone is a regular poster and you have met them and they treated you well doesn't mean they are a good person to everyone else or that you even know them. 2. Just because someone's ex was a real 'pain in the ass' doesn't mean they deserve ill treatment 3. Some things just aren't funny, no matter how you word them
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madotara69
11 years ago
I don't see any masters of the trade commenting here. So let's not make Cavey the criminal, just brave perhaps. We know a couple a few years back and what went on was not illegal, just the way things were. She became a hypochondriac (only happy when miserable and took to prescribed medications) She lost the desire for sex and her partner had to live with it and the relationship developed into a strange one on face value, he would fuck her when she was asleep, zonked out on the medications and would often joke about it. Ewwww the dirty filthy criminal fucker, you say? Truth is, she accepted it as much she would rouse on him for joking about it, she did not express he was abusing her. In their own way it was just dynamics of their relationship only they could fully understand. So IMHO let's not convict Cavey without the convictions pressed by his ex wife. Legally each case is on the merits of all within the entirety of the quantum, a thing.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I don't want to follow this thread as it is making me feel quite ill, unfortunately, just like a train wreck, I can't seem to look away...I agree that Caveys original post was inappropriate, and I don't think he should have done it, but, it held no malicious intent to anyone here in the forums or RHP in general. There was no personal attack, personal verbal abuse or personal emotional abuse intended in any part of that post. Unfortunately, the comments, both for and against, are definitely a personal attack, back and forth, between for and against, and loaded with vicious judgements based on unverified assumptions. I find this way more abusive to my senses than Caveys original post.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Well Said !
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RHP User
11 years ago
Let’s be clear. There’s nothing funny about a domestic violence joke..Warning: This post deals with themes of domestic violence, and may be upsetting for some readers.. One of the golden rules of being a decent human being is understanding thatdomestic violenceis not, and never will be, a laughing matter.. This seems like a fairly obvious rule for the vast majority of us, and yet there are still a select few within society who don’t seem to understand exactly what comprises of a ‘joke’. It appears the employees of a Texas bar, Scruffy Duffies, fall into this category..On 24 May, a female employee wrote up a sign to lure customers inside, as they do every few days. Except this time, the sign they put up was seriously offensive..It read, “I like my beer how I like my violence. Domestic”.. And though we’re sure (or at the very least hope) a few people in the crowded bar winced while walking in, none of them actually did anything to take down the unbelievably offensive sign.. That is, until Courtney Williams arrived..She was so appalled by the sign that she demanded it to be taken down three separate times..Yet with each request, first to a bartender and then to two different managers, she was treated with condescension. She was told to “calm down” and “stop being so aggressive”.She was treated as an overly emotional woman for standing up against a ‘joke’ that was anything but humorous.. And the way she describes the nights events are all too familiar to those who’ve ever tried to stand up against this sort of ‘fun':. “He [the manager] asked my name, I told him. He introduced himself and shook my hand. He then proceeded to tell me the sign was a joke, and that it rotates different things all the time. When I told him it was in extremely poor taste and that I’d appreciate it being taken down, he told me to calm down, and that if I hadn’t been so “aggressive” the conversation would go better.”. Following this encounter, Williams was so upset she left the building. When she returned a few minutes later to say goodbye to her friends, she was then refused attendance back inside.. Yes, that’s right. She was denied access back to the bar for standing up against up against an employee’s misplaced attempt at humour.. Rather than be mature, accept their mistake and apologise immediately, the bar managers chose to make Courtney out to be a crazed woman.. So she did what all kick-ass people in the 21st century do. She took to social media, penning a post that’s now been shared thousands of times. And funnily enough,thatcaused Scruffy Duffies PR to go into overdrive.. The president of Harder Concepts who own Scruffy Duffies quickly issued a statement, recognising exactly what it is that caused Courtney to challenge their managers in the first place:. “This was an isolated event executed by an employee that made a bad decision followed by a manager that did not recognize and fix the problem. Obviously not everybody’s sense of humor is the same. My brother and I are the owners at Scruffy Duffie’s and we agree that it was very distasteful and offensive. Had we been aware or seen this post we would’ve immediately taken it down. We apologize to anybody who was offended. We did investigate this issue further and our general manager has since been fired. In our eyes it was his responsibility to recognize and not allow something of this matter to take place in our stores. We will ensure that something like this will never happen again.”. The bar also issued this apology on the Facebook page due to the intensity of backlash they received:................................................................... A Facebook post by Scruffy Duffies. And this right here friends is why we need to speak up. Because often? Through people power it is possible tocreate change and raise awareness about how some matters should never be trivialised.. There’ll always be a small part of society that says to “lighten up” and “take a joke,” but by staying silent we implicitly condone behaviour. And in this instance, that’s behaviour that could be deeply triggering and hurtful to some.. It’s thanks to people like Courtney, we’re getting the conversation started. We’re noting thatdomestic violence should not be trivialisedor brushed aside as a pun or joke. We’re also recognising that it’s unacceptable to mock those who call it out.. And that is at the very least a starting point to stopping these ‘jokes’ from becoming even more commonplace.
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RHP User
11 years ago
So the fact, assuming all this is true, that she verbally abused and threatening Cavey means..... Nothing? No comment on that at all. Domestic verbal abuse of men is acceptable?. And how are we to know what came first.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Madotara, Indeed the law is a form of a poetry and to understand it and to understand its complexities it helps to be a poet. If your friends wife expressly removed her consent for this action to occur and he continued regardless would it have changed your opinion on the sitiation? In the eyes of the law it would. ...it would be called rape. (Or sexual penetration without consent sec 325 of the criminal code in WA to be precise) - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Criminalize Cavey:Too late people.. The "White Ribbon" Post I mentioned before, had THIS poem on it.I wrote it: and have allowed anyone at all who wanted it, to take it, and do what they pleased with it.I posted in on my OWN website years ago, and was "Found out" by a International organization who.."Well... Objected to my poetical skills"I refused to take it down.Legal action was involvedI still own the poem, and can still post the fckr..Somewhere.. in my line of offences recorded somewhere in a computer listing norty mens misbehaviour..THAT issue is still sitting.. waiting...The Brothers House .With hearts of hope, they shipped out here,their billet was your schools;sent to slave upon your farms,where fear became your tools.Bemoan the tragedy was wreakedon these souls of youthful years – these souls now scream to bring to lightthe torture, and their tears.And hate became their legacy,and authority, their bane –some ended up in prison,while some were deemed insane.Still they cry, this tortured youth,who took the Brothers trip,Still they cry, this grown man,held in the Brothers grip.How come to terms with bitterness?Where stops the search to blame?A string of broken hearts is left,that is the Brothers shame.The stick and strap made red the back,the fists did damage too,all in the name of discipline,all dealt in black and blue.But, it is the other scars they bear,the ones which never bled – the foul injustice done to them,now tracing through their head.No-one to protect them then,no-one they could trust,used as toys, the frightened boys,to feed the brother’s lust.Who do we blame? Whose neck we stretch?How, justice we extract?Or is it now enough to let the truth be told exact?Will it let these torn men rest, the truth be told exact?.And you all know.. on my back, and my head, and my arse... Amongst the scars from fingernails and other implements of pleasure..And the scars of those straps and fistsDeliniated fracture marks on my bones.Scars of the rocks and other tools of discipline used on us.Scars from the edges of wooden and steel rulers that split my skin.and scars on my soul that NOTHING can cover.Fck the PC'ers.You know why??BECAUSE it is NOT PC to outline the crimes of a church. OR a governemet, or an organization.AND them fckrs can take me to court for expressing the poetical eloquence (Or other shit) that they TAUGHT me(Maybe.. Maybe THAT was the problem.. my poety was SO bad.. they wanted to find IT!!) *shrugs*And fck anyone who lays PC crap on me In seriousness... !!BUT.. In Jest.. ??Rule no #1...THERE ARE NO RULES!
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JDM76
11 years ago
Quoting 'Dancer2300' So if someone has been reading another forum poster's comments for over 2 years and has possibly met them in person before does that mean they know them? how ridiculous and even if you think you know someone does that then excuse their comments? I've had something similar be done to me and I felt quite violated. i'd been friends with a guy for over 4 years and started dating him after. we dated for 2 years, he knew I couldn't take birth control so we used condoms. Then one day he just decided not to, just like that. He didn't even tell me, i found out after he came and well, I had a strange sensation of wetness inside. He didn't seem apologetic either, needless to say it was goodbye after that. Would you consider this funny then if thsat guy was on here and worded this differently for your amusement? Now, I thought I knew this guy, and everyone believes he is a very nice guy. A year ago or more than that some poster here made a general comment that appeared racially biased and lots of people ripped into that poster, many have met the poster and said poster was a regular poster.....but then perhaps not much liked as Cavey? Its still no excuse even if the marriage was bad and if they were being bad to each other, that doesn't justify such actions and it wasn't even funny. what if this was some guy doing this to you? in short, 1. just because someone is a regular poster and you have met them and they treated you well doesn't mean they are a good person to everyone else or that you even know them. 2. Just because someone's ex was a real 'pain in the ass' doesn't mean they deserve ill treatment 3. Some things just aren't funny, no matter how you word them I'm not aware of the racist post you are referring to , before my rhp time . But your personal story is shocking and sad , no doubt about it .
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RHP User
11 years ago
According to Cavey's post earlier on page 1, he doesn't even use his own material. . So, not even knowing how much, if any, is true. The supposed JOKE isn't funny.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Dancer2300' So if someone has been reading another forum poster's comments for over 2 years and has possibly met them in person before does that mean they know them? how ridiculous Since it mentions the 2 years, is your post aimed at me? I do not know Cavey and would not suggest I do. I judge him by the way I see him treat myself and others in his posts and messages. Just like I judge you by your posts, and I'm sure others judge me by mine.
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RHP User
11 years ago
What happened to 100s of 1000s of innocent children is horrific. That their plight is being recognised, finally, is long overdue. . Speaking as one, I still don't think your 'joke' was funny. It triggers memories I could well do without.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Thanks for understanding.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'VWGolfGTIQIK20Z' P.C sucks equally, for everyone, and Cavey50, I feel, doesn't pander to the P.C crowd-The reliance on the old 'PC' strawman is such an outdated, tedious, and not to mention lazy way of trying to defend bad behaviour and dismiss legitimate issues. People who use the term generally just want to try and avoid having to actually think about or take responsibility for their actions or words, and how they affect others. Really not something to be proud of.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'MrsPeachyPearL' What happened to 100s of 1000s of innocent children is horrific. That their plight is being recognised, finally, is long overdue. . How did we get to child abuse?
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madotara69
11 years ago
Quoting 'Theinbetweeners' Madotara, Indeed the law is a form of a poetry and to understand it and to understand its complexities it helps to be a poet. If your friends wife expressly removed her consent for this action to occur and he continued regardless would it have changed your opinion on the sitiation? In the eyes of the law it would. ...it would be called rape. (Or sexual penetration without consent sec 325 of the criminal code in WA to be precise) - Posted from rhpmobile But some people just love to hate each other, and that does not necessarily become illegal sexual violent abuse. Reminds me of a joke we laugh at if we have had a tiff. The only time we have sex lately is in the hallway. When we pass each other "fuck you, no fuck you" And by jingo's we meant it at the time. Make up sex is a blast Never have I seen Cavey disrespect women, in fact he is the first to stand by women when deliberate abuse is intended throughout the banter of the forums over the last few years. There is more to it as often there is when he posts his things. Like his poem, I know what he means and all this is a storm in a teacup over tit for tat, possibly. I won't suggest his ex wife was anything, as he may still love her. Fckn strange us men, hey?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Since when did speaking out against domestic violence and sexual assault become "PC". By all means keep trotting this one out if that's how you feel, it makes it really easy to identify the intellectual peanuts. With no idea what the situation was at Cavey's house I wouldn't accuse him of anything other than poor taste and bad manners. The dynamic between two people in a long term relationship is complex, even more so when it's unhappy. There's nothing wrong with pointing out that the behaviour could certainly be considered a sexual assault. That's a fact, PC or not.
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RHP User
11 years ago
You have caused quite a stir and created an interesting thread. By the way your poem is beautifully written, although child abuse within the Church is moving away from how your post started. White ribbon refers to domestic violence not child abuse, maybe I am missing something tho. Your post has been taken by some as humour, be it in good or bad taste we could discuss it to the enth degree. My question to you is; was the scenario described by you a fictional one or your real actions? - Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
11 years ago
Here since this thread is all but derailed... And again this is a separate issue to the OP - we have 1/10 of a story which happened years ago as reported from one of the people allegedly involved... ========== Domestic violence can and does regularly occur against men and most likely right in your suburb. Oh yer the stats definitely report it doesn't happen to them! The truth, the real truth is much different.....think this is funny? Weak? Wrong? A cop out? Deflection? Transference? Ah if you're thinking yes to any of the above go and sit yourself in a family law court for a few days...
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RHP User
11 years ago
....... did a post that in my belief bears absolutely NO actual truth, get so out of hand. It appears once again in these forums some people OVER THINK things. It was a FUCKING joke. That's all. It wasn't sexual abuse, it wasn't politically incorrect. IF you have a sense of humour in your bones some where you would clearly understand that. It wasn't fucking real people. Cavey - you can cum on my face and in my hair any time as I sleep cause I didn't suck your cock. For all you know, I may just like knowing your pulling the tug out of pure frustrations
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madotara69
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' Quoting 'MrsPeachyPearL' What happened to 100s of 1000s of innocent children is horrific. That their plight is being recognised, finally, is long overdue. . How did we get to child abuse? Meander, there once was a law that prohibited the testimony of minors under the age of consent. So predators took advantage and did what they would to children without fear of prosecution. Fact was if the children were under their award of care, they could even dob themselves in and claim the victims compensations awarded on the basis that the offence was recognised as taken place, no convictions to dampen the spirits.. Syndicates were making great amounts of money playing the system and their evil ways with children, some just on the power of authority would simply beat on kids, sexual assault if they wished. Cavey was of the Brothers, I was a Naval Reserve Cadet. We only know too well, abuse and to what depths. Cavey's poem is his own material. As Meatloaf said "Read it and Weep"
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meander' WTF? Quoting 'MrsPeachyPearL' What happened to 100s of 1000s of innocent children is horrific. That their plight is being recognised, finally, is long overdue. . How did we get to child abuse? I knooow, I wondered that too, but here we are.
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RHP User
11 years ago
I read the poem, but now this forum may just go into yet another direction. I don't like it here, and I'm out.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Not funny, right. . Hugs Cavey.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' So the fact, assuming all this is true, that she verbally abused and threatening Cavey means..... Nothing? No comment on that at all. Domestic verbal abuse of men is acceptable?. And how are we to know what came first.Meeka, do you really think Cavey needs you to defend him? We were discussing the inappropriateness of his post. You've given your opinion, why do you now want to try and justify his behaviour by trying to put his ex-wife in the wrong. Sheesh, if he had admitted to cumming on a total stranger without their consent, would you excuse that and find it humorous too? Two wrongs do not make a right. I have not entered into this debate before now however I am incensed that you have decided to indulge in a "victim-blaming". He admitted this behaviour so there is no justification or reason to attack her.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Giggling from the side line :)
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RHP User
11 years ago
but it will serve its purpose of a distraction from the topic at hand.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Why the comments about domestic violence against men? Did anybody deny it happens? Was the law quoted specifically about one gender? WTF does it have to do with the post that started all the controversy? I don't understand the point. Should we not call out men's bad behaviour against women because some of them are bad too?Is it ok to hurt women because men also get hurt?Do they 'have it coming'?Should we just ignore the whole thing because along with the 1 in 5 women who are subjected to sexual assault there are 1 in 20 men who have endured it too (nearly all at the hands of other men)? If anyone wants to have a discussion about domestic and sexual violence against men, start a new topic. It's also a serious issue. What it looks like here though is that it's been brought up in order to make violence against women seem a little less important. Yeah yeah sure women regularly get groped, and cat called, and beat up at home, occasionally they get cum flung at them, or get date raped, and one of them even gets killed by a partner every week in Australia. But men get hurt too! Can't these whiny women just man the fuck up like we do! Bullshit. How about we all man up and admit that there is a serious problem with men harassing and inflicting violence on women. Definitely not an issue I'm going to be quiet or subtle about. Fuck off with the comments about political correctness and the diversion about victimised men. It's not about you. It's about the millions of women that suffer at the hands of men every day. Bet you didn't see this coming Cavey, but thanks for the opportunity to discuss. Looks like we needed it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
You sure know how to create discussion 😝. but I'm out of popcorn and I think the pigeons are missing half their feathers.....hmmmm.....what say we see if they can still fly?? 😜
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RHP User
11 years ago
Not sure who your last comment is directed to, but I raised the point that the original comment we are discussing also mentions the wife using verbal abuse and threats. I found it intersting that nobody seems to feel that is important. Who started the behavious first?
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'SimonDoes' Why the comments about domestic violence against men? On any given topic where the focus is on women, you will see SOME men who just have to chime in with their ''BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MEN????'' comments. Seems that they simply cannot stand any attention being diverted away from them for a second. It's one of those things that's become eminently predictable in any online discussion. Just like the #notallmen phenomenon.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'Meeka100' Not sure who your last comment is directed to, but I raised the point that the original comment we are discussing also mentions the wife using verbal abuse and threats. I found it intersting that nobody seems to feel that is important. Who started the behavious first? And Simon's point is exactly that Meeka, its not about who started the behaviour first. Stop justifying the man's behaviour by asking "what did he do?" FFS why don't you get it.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Okay, I see. Got it, and agree.
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RHP User
11 years ago
What did she do? Let me tell you about a guy that got five years for shooting his wife. It was justifiable homicide according to the judge. The justification: She said he had a small penis and she was leaving him. He spent five months in prison. That's how much the Queensland courts valued the life of that woman, a mother of three children. There are still those who believe if a woman is subjected to violence, she deserves it. And why focus on women? Because violence against women is the major cause of homelessness for women. It is the major contributor to poor mental for women. And so far this year 15 women have died at the hands of men, mostly partners or ex-partners. And that is just in Australia. Don't get me started on the global epidemic of violence against women. I too acknowledge violence against men happens, and as Simon said, that was being recognised throughout the thread. So let's not ask who cast the first stone, lets agree non-consensual sexual acts and any form of violence is unacceptable behaviour.
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RHP User
11 years ago
Quoting 'sir_stir' You sure know how to create discussion 😝. but I'm out of popcorn and I think the pigeons are missing half their feathers.....hmmmm.....what say we see if they can still fly?? 😜 Imagine if your daughter told you about some guy doing that to her. Would you still be so amused? Or do you believe any behaviour is acceptable in the name of vengeance and payback?
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