M63
'Is being married a deal breaker?' (Companion thread)
January 19 2013
Comments
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RHP User
13 years ago
wanna catch up then?
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RHP User
13 years ago
keen?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Yes, for me.
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RHP User
13 years ago
My answer is no unless they are in an open relationship and honest with each other like my wife and I. The issue is not around being married but around the trust aspect.
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RHP User
13 years ago
unless your looking for a partner?
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RHP User
13 years ago
Yes ;)- Posted from rhpmobile
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RHP User
13 years ago
Its a big NO for me. Im not going to do anything that I wouldnt like doing to me. I wouldnt like to get caught in the middle of a not-so-happy marriage if the wife found out. What do I get out of having sex with a married man?...empty sex..I would like to think when a man is having sex with me he is with me mind and body. Not being judgemental...just my feelings which is the most important.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Have done it previously, will probably do it again. But ideally would prefer not to see Attached people. So no, not a deal breaker.
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RHP User
13 years ago
They have to live with it, not me.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Then I don't see much of a reason to stick around. If you're gonna fuck another man at least have the decency to break up with me first tell me it's not the same anymore and be done with it.. that way I can get on with my life and fuck whoever I want without feeling like dirt.So probably, Yes. But I'm very loyal so I doubt I'll be the one who'll instigate such a thing.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Nope...not going near a married man..no matter how he says it is at home. I had a one nighter whilst I was married....and nope...made it a rule I will never do that again...either way it is
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RHP User
13 years ago
No judgment here, but no for me.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'consistency12' I have no intention of getting in the middle of someone else's problems - had a case once where the girl didn't say anything after we'd met twice previously, only became an issue one night when she was leaving my bed saying her husband would question why she was so late at the girls' night... utterly dishonest to all concerned; to those who want to cheat, I say - grow a pair, have the talk - may not lead to dissolution of the primary relationship, may be an evolution instead... Most everyone has the 'talk' first.A 'pair' would compel you to take into account other peoples continued well being ... tearing apart your family, disrupting your children's lives, ruining long term financial security for everybody involved just because after 20 years you have grown apart sexually is downright fucking selfish if you ask me. And don't pretend you wouldn't have fucked her even if you knew she was married ... I submit you were upset because it put you in a dangerous situation 'unknowingly'
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RHP User
13 years ago
But if youve already done it that puts you on the other side of the equation.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I've already posted here about my confusion regarding the question. Because of that confusion, it makes it difficult for me to make a count of the one word answers because I'm not sure how many got confused too.Firstly, I answered it wrongly becasue of the double questions.Secondly, there is at least one other person that did the same.Thirdly, this makes it difficult for me to decide if other people who simply said yes or no answered it wrongly also which makes it impossible for me to come to a satisfactory total.J, re your last post: the question we are supposed to be answering here says "Would you engage in an affair or dalliance with someone, who is married, without their spouse's knowledge?". I did not take that to mean, have I done so in the past because that would be a different question. In my not so humble but honest opinion.My answer in the present would be, "no I would not engage in a dalliance or affair with someone who is married, without their spouse's knowledge."Lastly, I would ask, do people go about asking the spouse how they feel about it, or do you take the word of your playmate that their spouse knows. Sorry to ask so many questions.MrsPare
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RHP User
13 years ago
I have been on both ends. Each to their own though.
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RHP User
13 years ago
Good gosh no. As I am in a happily open marriage I don't hold any relationship against another. I would recommend clearly identifying your personal status as it clears up a lot of confusion. But definately not a deal breaker for me.
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RHP User
13 years ago
If there were people who read and answered the title without reading the post, it may be that they answered incorrectly but they have been invited to correct their response and there has not been a sudden surge of people doing so. If you had a handful of people answering 'yes' when they meant 'no' then it's just as likely that there were a handful who answered 'no' when they meant 'yes'. I doubt that the overall indications of our informal survey would vary. You'll never get a definitive tally, there may even be a bit of 'vote loading' from persons with multiple profiles with an overwhelming need to control the outcome. None of this is of great importance and doesn't change the true state of affairs (no pun intended, honestly). Recent surveys indicate that between 45% and 55% of married women and 50% to 60% of married men have engaged in extramarital sex, be that a one night stand or a lasting affair. With this in mind, my overall conclusion is that a great many people seek something outside their marriage that they can not find within. I find it foolhardy to suggest that such a large portion of society are simply doing the wrong thing. A little more understanding and a good deal less judging would be a good thing in my opinion. Ofcourse opinions vary.
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RHP User
13 years ago
I think to get a real idea of an overall picture, a survey would have to be far more emcompassing than this thread or the simple one I tried to start. Right and wrong are moral judgements which varies from person to person. That's understanding, it goes both ways. I shall no longer impinge upon your thread. Adieu, Peachy.
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RHP User
13 years ago
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RHP User
13 years ago
Quoting 'jennylee1903' But if youve already done it that puts you on the other side of the equation. So.....this is about the here and now, not what I have professed to have done in my pastMy situation ended with my husband taking his life after all of the shit.....yes doesn't happen very often but did to meSo to all the people who think it's all good playing around...have a think of devastation that can possibly happenThat's why its a no from meI'm not perfect and never have purported to be. Life isn't simple. But I will never have an affair again (if that's what a one nighter is) nor will I mess around with someone else whom is not single.To the people who think, well its just his/hers problem....It can become your problem if you are found out and the shit hits the fan
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RHP User
13 years ago
Funny how they dont answer the question....lol
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RHP User
13 years ago
I know how heart wrenching a situation like that can be.
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